tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post3877785424746533524..comments2023-12-28T11:27:12.248-06:00Comments on The Art of Being Conflicted: I Can't Believe You Said ThatCperzhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09062444081488414888noreply@blogger.comBlogger44125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-70697024753919898642013-03-23T19:44:21.577-05:002013-03-23T19:44:21.577-05:00I agree with you that if a person is writing a rev...I agree with you that if a person is writing a review or sending direct communication to a business it needs to have name and contact information. I don't see the point of contacting a business and not giving them an opportunity to respond. But I am like you as far at the blog goes. I am not prepared to use my entire name. This is more like letting people read your journal and having strangers let in on your thoughts. As I don't charge anyone for anything, I don't feel the need to be too approachable. It wouldn't take people to long to figure out who I am but I don't have to make it super apparent either.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-25082830093208005332013-03-23T12:09:28.633-05:002013-03-23T12:09:28.633-05:00If you truly want your comment to be taken serious...If you truly want your comment to be taken seriously, you should sign your name and stand behind it. If not, it's irrelevant. And that goes for all communication. When we owned our restuarants, we once got a nasty, vitriolic letter talking about how awful our restaurant was and what terrible owners we were. It was anonymous so we just threw it away and never thought twice about it. That poor person totally wasted his/her time.<br />Having said that, Dexter Klemperer isn't my real name so I guess you can just ignore this.Dexter Klemperernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-80287064100644816292013-03-22T11:09:21.231-05:002013-03-22T11:09:21.231-05:00I thought that was cute too. I wonder if it is ph...I thought that was cute too. I wonder if it is photoshopped or if he really put his paw up like that.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-603739215148149372013-03-22T11:08:32.236-05:002013-03-22T11:08:32.236-05:00I think when someone is in total disagreement with...I think when someone is in total disagreement with whatever is being dicussed they use the nasty comment as a means to lash out. Such a waste of energy really as I would think most of us would just delete the comment and move on.<br />I tend not to participate as much on Facebook outside a few family members. I do feel more exposed as all the friends of friends are there by the way in which is is set up. I don't think my children who are my friends need to have their friends knowing what I am thinking today. When I do put on a comment, it's very generic.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-76103717184657355542013-03-22T10:40:44.859-05:002013-03-22T10:40:44.859-05:00BTW - love the bear photo! ha ha ha!BTW - love the bear photo! ha ha ha!Life, Laughter and Parishttp://www.lifelaughterparis.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-36256536997078312642013-03-22T10:39:56.967-05:002013-03-22T10:39:56.967-05:00Hi Cheryl. Good post especially for us bloggers. ...Hi Cheryl. Good post especially for us bloggers. I like getting comments too and so far haven't had any real nasty ones (touch wood) which I would delete. Makes you wonder why people feel the need to leave negative comments. Why not just move on? Most my comments come in on Facebook - this is good to identify who is commenting, on the other hand, they don't show up on my blog!Life, Laughter and Parishttp://www.lifelaughterparis.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-49856734366220476962013-03-21T15:47:57.680-05:002013-03-21T15:47:57.680-05:00I would consider that a good thing. You must have ...I would consider that a good thing. You must have your settings set in such a way they all are not getting through.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-44935930448474305962013-03-21T15:38:23.401-05:002013-03-21T15:38:23.401-05:00Well, that was weird. I just checked my Blogger s...Well, that was weird. I just checked my Blogger spam file, and there's nothing in it. I feel rejected now. So I'm not good enough for you spammers?!Jaynehttp://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-46633774688838194152013-03-21T14:46:36.884-05:002013-03-21T14:46:36.884-05:00Right you are..if they are in the spam file and no...Right you are..if they are in the spam file and not bothering anything..might as well not worry about it. If your computer ever starts getting really slow and you have to start deleting things, though, that would be a place to start.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-4924421500432453982013-03-21T10:29:04.739-05:002013-03-21T10:29:04.739-05:00I've never even looked in those files. Maybe t...I've never even looked in those files. Maybe they're packed. I figure if it don't show up on my blog, I won't concern myself with it.Jaynehttp://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-16306665507484171882013-03-21T09:18:21.729-05:002013-03-21T09:18:21.729-05:00This post was my 321st post and out of those I hav...This post was my 321st post and out of those I have had only one really offensive comment and I deleted it. I would have to check to see if that person still is a follower...I doubt it. I don't let those kind of things bother me at all. <br /><br /><br /><br />I am more irritated by people that have followed me from the beginning responding with a reply that is curt and has taken something out of context. I always respond to them...sometimes by email where we have a more direct communication. There are a number of my followers that I have a separate email correspondence with. I actually like that as I can be more direct depending on the subject with a person on a one-to-one. I don't think Lil N****** and I would be communicating.<br /><br /><br /><br />I, too disabled the Anonymous commenting option on my settings and for the same reason. I was tired of having to delete all the spam. I still take a quick look-see to pull out any legit comments that people occasionally send anonymously. I also, closed the comments down on any post more than 30 days old. That takes care of most of the robo-spammers that target older posts,Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-89683527211631972592013-03-21T09:04:04.618-05:002013-03-21T09:04:04.618-05:00Another problem that I see with the rating system ...Another problem that I see with the rating system is for people like me that get on a news site once in a blue moon because I am stirred up about an issue. I will leave a message...a polite message regarding my point of view BUT if I am not a regular commentor or if no one chooses to rate my comment then I don't even have a voice. My comment becomes invisible. So the rating system is only conducive to people that are on the forums all the time garnering ratings. <br />I do think that on big sites such as the Washington Post, people definitely get a thrill stirring up the discussion by being vile. I can't believe that a lot of that nonsense has anything to do with their real opinions.<br />Same here on the amount of rude or nasty comments...in the two years I have had less than 5 rude comments...really only two that were offensive. And I know you have a lot of readers, so it appears that your readers are among the polite readers that the rest of us want.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-33015921060923381222013-03-21T07:50:57.638-05:002013-03-21T07:50:57.638-05:00I recently slammed a commenter that was being a di...I recently slammed a commenter that was being a dick on our blog, and I gladly signed my name to it. However, you won't find me creeping on sites, leaving rude anonymous comments. I guess I just have too much self esteem for that. And really, people are going to say what they're going to say, but we don't let it get to us. Most of our comments are good, respectful ones anyway. But the rude ones, or the hateful ones (we recently had a racist comment from someone called Lil N*****)... we just ignore those. Not worth getting upset over.<br /><br />On another note, we actually disabled Anonymous commenting on our blog about 2-3 weeks ago, not because of rude comments (surprisingly, we've gotten VERY few of those for running such a politically incorrect site), but because Spam comments kept getting through the filter. Like 5-10 a day. It was annoying, so we ditched Anonymous commenting and now we don't have that problem.abeerfortheshowernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-64179047771046998322013-03-21T07:21:54.371-05:002013-03-21T07:21:54.371-05:00I am not all that surprised that you don't get...I am not all that surprised that you don't get angry or rude comments as most of your loyal followers understand and appreciate your point of view. However, I don't know how you are escaping spam. There isn't a day that I don't delete a lot of spam out of both the Blogger spam file and a much lesser amount out of the Disqus spam file. The robo-spammers send thousands of blind spam messages to all blogs. Where are yours going? <br /><br /><br /><br />I am more likely to take a stand on a blog over Facebook. Facebook shows my family members that may on certain days wish they weren't associated with me.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-81523020074180993492013-03-21T07:15:56.368-05:002013-03-21T07:15:56.368-05:00I don't understand the rating thing either. I ...I don't understand the rating thing either. I consider that a comment or two over a two year period of time that is an angry response to something the writer "perceives". that I meant isn't going to make or break my blog. <br /><br /><br /><br />I think Disqus or Comment Luv does away with some of the really rude comments because they filter out comments not linked to email addresses. But you are right, that it could be Iknowmyblogblows@gmail.com <br /><br /><br /><br />That is the point isn't it. Why can't adults just agree to disagree...especially about political views. That's the one that seems to be the hot button.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-61275195146409360342013-03-21T05:59:29.123-05:002013-03-21T05:59:29.123-05:00The ranking system basically is where readers on t...The ranking system basically is where readers on the site can rank a comment so that any comment that gets a rank below a certain level will no longer be seen in the comment section. The problem with that is that people can work the system to have valid comments removed and crap left behind. <br /><br />The thing with the negative, vile comments is that a large amount of them are deliberate. There are groups that have turned "comment degeneration" into a game where they try to have threads shut down by starting brawls in comment sections. It's where the expression "Don't feed the trolls" came from. They troll sites looking for a place to start fights with inflammatory comments that they don't necessarily even believe. I think efforts to make them stop might only end up being like a red flag... a challenge. <br /><br />We've been pretty lucky on our blog. I think we've only ever had one slightly nasty comment in nearly four years. But that could just be because we only have 15 readers :-)Nickyhttp://www.weworkforcheese.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-36865040202960367012013-03-21T05:16:27.816-05:002013-03-21T05:16:27.816-05:00I'm not clear on how a rating system would hel...I'm not clear on how a rating system would help things. Is it to shame the person who left the nasty comment?<br /><br /><br /><br />When I first started blogging I felt compelled to let the people speak no matter what they said. Don't know why and then I replied to them using my own logic and then a I'm sorry you feel that way.<br /><br /><br />Eventually I set up my comment section to require an email address -- which can definitely be duped by throwing an @ and .com on it like yourblogblows@gmail.com -- and then the first comment has to be approved by me before it will show. That weeds almost all of them out.<br /><br /><br />I swear I do not understand why people cannot disagree respectfully.cardiogirlhttp://www.cardiogirl.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-63214583441138226732013-03-20T20:38:49.275-05:002013-03-20T20:38:49.275-05:00I never leave anonymous comments, and rarely have ...I never leave anonymous comments, and rarely have them left for me. With as free with I am with my opinions, I would have thought I would have gotten some hate-comments, but no. Nor any spam. I'm beginning to feel a little left out. Also, I don't bomb others with my opinion if it's clear it will start a war. Except maybe on Facebook. But that's just for fun. ;)Jaynehttp://injaynesworld.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-8613483008718511002013-03-20T15:07:28.687-05:002013-03-20T15:07:28.687-05:00I have left a couple of pointed ones as well that ...I have left a couple of pointed ones as well that I thought were quite polite. It still got me in trouble. (they unfollowed my blog)<br /><br /><br />Someone actually made a threat on your blog??? Even if they thought they were being funny, that is just wrong. I have had a couple of messages that I think the person thinks they were being clever but it came across as mean spirited.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-82157957393917626562013-03-20T14:16:14.774-05:002013-03-20T14:16:14.774-05:00Hiya kiddo. Long time no see.
As for me I'...Hiya kiddo. Long time no see. <br /><br /><br /><br />As for me I've never left a "nasty" comment; although I have left some rather pointed ones, but not without proof to back them up.<br /><br /><br />Someone did however once threaten to punch me in the face on Bodacious. They never showed up though.Bodaciousboomernoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-32257903724515634712013-03-20T07:10:03.202-05:002013-03-20T07:10:03.202-05:00I agree...life is too short to sit around writing ...I agree...life is too short to sit around writing mean and nasty comments. I hate fighting with people in life or on the Internet. One of the commenters made mention of that maybe those nasty comments come from nice little old ladies that just want to stir things up. Maybe we would be shocked if we knew who was behind the comments.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-24237401951977179942013-03-20T07:05:38.279-05:002013-03-20T07:05:38.279-05:00That would of been funny, lisleman, to have you wr...That would of been funny, lisleman, to have you write a nasty comment. I would have totally gotten the joke...and I know that isn't your MO. <br /><br /><br />After reading all the articles on the subject of the big newspapers going to "name only" comments, I think the big news forums have a different problem with the amount of nastiness going on. I see little of the really mean stuff and more of just spam from anonymous on blogs. <br /><br /><br /><br />I had never noticed the comments...good or bad...on You tube. Funny that I read the comments on about everything else but I never have on YT. <br /><br /><br /><br />I am like you about FB. I don't like to sign onto things using FB. I have an overt suspicion about a program that's very purpose is to track people and their interests/buying habits/preferences. I appreciate the keeping track of friends component but less than thrilled with the someone tracking me component.<br /><br /><br />I had noticed the number under the comments on Disqus and hadn't ever thought about it. Lisleman, you are just a wealth of information this morning. I should of been rating comments all this time and haven't due to my ignorance. Story of my life...being totally unaware of things.Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-75424604911280978162013-03-20T05:51:27.250-05:002013-03-20T05:51:27.250-05:00You right as there isn't a a definitive answer...You right as there isn't a a definitive answer to how much anonymity or exposure is the right amount as far as the Internet goes. I appreciate the people that have blogs that let us know them more as people. It usually makes for a more engaging blog. I have a couple of blogs that I follow that I worry about how much information they are putting out into cyberspace. As with everything it's about balance.<br /><br /><br />I think that blogs don't tend to illicit the nastiness that is so prevalent on the newspaper forums. Thank goodness!!Cheryl P.http://artofbeingconflicted.comnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-26903161440063058852013-03-20T00:05:40.572-05:002013-03-20T00:05:40.572-05:00Oh it's so tempting to write a nasty comment r...Oh it's so tempting to write a nasty comment right now. I never do but not that you asked. Oh never mind, I would need to do a few shots first and I don't need a hangover.<br />I love comments and the comment sections. Of course I enjoy using "Lisleman" and would recommend everyone to use an alias on the web. I helps to protect you from the scammers. Most people have multiple email addresses too.<br />I would not comment if I was forced to use FB. I don't like too many things tied to my FB account. I don't even link pinterest stuff to FB. It's not like I'm naked on FB but it is much more personal. (oh you'll be glad to know there are no Lisleman naked pictures anywhere - sigh of relief)<br />One more thing - we have a rating system on Disqus - ever noticed those little up/down arrows under the comment? I'll give your replies my vote in a minute.<br />I don't see nasty comments on blogs. I only notice them on youtube. Not sure what is going with youtube comments but they are typically nasty.lislemanhttp://afcsoac.blogspot.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8740338215172190519.post-26328087525092165642013-03-19T22:22:48.517-05:002013-03-19T22:22:48.517-05:00I'm not sure if there's a good answer to t...I'm not sure if there's a good answer to this problem, Cheryl. You raise a lot of valid points and questions. I like being completely "out" with my identity, but that's my choice and I respect others' choices to remain anonymous - unless they're doing so to be completely "out" as an a-hole. <br /><br /><br />Thank you for raising the issue. Look at all the hearty conversation you've ignited.<br /><br /><br />xoRobynRobyn Engelnoreply@blogger.com