Tuesday, February 14, 2017

Valentine's Day

I am a big fan of romance.  I swoon over tales of true love and adore tales of happy endings. I delight in  hearing people's stories of how they found each other and formed a mutual love.  (Sadly...I am also pragmatic and realize that  some of those anticipated happy endings didn't  always come out the way one would of hoped.)    Still....I tend to be a sap for stories of love.

I find it fascinating how miraculous it is that among the thousands of people we have met (or will meet) that we manage to find a person to love and be lucky enough to have them love us back.   To be fair, I guess it's not so much luck as it is choosing well.   Of course, there might be a bit of luck needed to recognize the person we are choosing,  for who they really are. 

This morning I was driving to the gym and heard the radio announcer proclaim that today was the most romantic day of the year.   Yes, today....  February 14th, ....the pressure is on.  We are to dig deep into our hearts (and possibly our wallets) to express our devotion for our mate, partner, husband, wife ....someone???...anyone??????

If you follow all the advertising and marketing...today is the day for a grand gesture.  Flowers, candy, jewelry seemingly is the way we are supposed to recognize the amount we are loved.  One jewelry store chain comes right out and says that the quality of a diamond is an indicator of your level of devotion.  Forty-six (ish)  years ago when I chose my engagement ring I was going for beautiful while being "affordable" more than a measuring tool but I might of not been enlighten to how that was supposed to work.  My then boyfriend now husband, who was home on leave from the Army probably would of sprung for whatever I chose as his mood was pretty happy to be "home on leave."
Even then, I just wasn't into needing grand gestures.

As with all things.. some of this leaves me a bit conflicted about Valentine's Day.  (I'll bet you sensed that already, right???) The romantic side of me likes to think that loving gestures of the "non-purchased" kind are exchanged within couples 365 days a year and that not too much emphasis is put on a person to come up with a  "purchased" gesture for a single day.

Not that an occasional grand gesture isn't a great thing  but for me when I tell hubby that it really isn't necessary to buy me flowers, (which he is prone to do) candy, gifts  or any token of affection...I MEAN it.   Seriously, I am not one of those people that say don't and then get pissy because "someone" didn't.

On the subject of Valentine's Day....there is an anti-Valentine's Day contest going on over at  Life By Chocolate: Robyn Alana Engel's Blog.  It appears that I am not the only one that has some alternative/conflicting thoughts about this holiday.     I entered a few cartoons that leaned towards the lesser romantic leanings of the holiday. 

Crabby is trying to cut down on her use of bad words. 

Soooo...my wonderful readers, I hope you have someone that is worthy of doing a grand gesture for EVEN if it isn't needed or expected.  Have a great Valentine's Day.

This is how my other house mate would convey a sweet sentiment.

Sunday, January 29, 2017

It's Kind of a Big Deal

A few weeks ago I was reading an article in USA Today about a survey conducted by the Sesame Street Workshop organization.  As I have a vested interest in Sesame Street by the virtue of parking my two children in front of their program pretty much non-stop for the bulk of their pre-school years. (Don't judge me). In my defense, moms in the 1970's were brainwashed into thinking that Mr. Rogers, the Electric Company crew and the cast of Sesame Street would turn our uneducated 3 year olds into reading and spelling prodigies. Who knows??...  Maybe my children's later successes are in large part due to the efforts of Big Bird.  Sadly, I never sent him a thank you note.  Bad manners on my part I suspect. Regret is an evil emotion.

Well...Back to the subject of the survey.  Sesame Street is now in it's 47th year and tackling the subject of kindness with an emphasis on empathy. According to the article both teachers and parents are worried that today's kids are growing up in an unkind, unempathetic world. Sesame Street creators are going to try to enlighten the little heathens among us by teaching them  how to recognize kindness, emulate it and  how they might look at something from another person's point of view.

I have to think that this is a complicated mission.  The survey included the opinions of  2000 parents and 500 teachers and there seemed to be a lot of confusion between those surveyed as to what is constitutes kindness. Kindness means different things to different people. There is a lot of gray area between using good manners and truly possessing a generous spirit toward others.   If this  murky, undefined  concept of "what exactly constitutes kindness?" wasn't enough of a hurdle for their survey, there were many that questioned "what is the difference between empathy and sympathy?"

After the survey result were in, Jeffery D. Dunn, the CEO of Sesame Workshop said "This survey confirms our concerns. It is time for a national conversation about kindness."

Jennifer Kotler Clark, a researcher at Sesame Workshop said both parents and teachers overwhelmingly felt that being kind was more important than being academically successful. (Note: Hey kids...try using that line on your parents when you get a bad grade.  "Sure I got a D in Algebra but I sure treat my fellow classmates with the utmost respect.")

Kotler Clark went on to say that during the survey they substituted words to represent kindness including empathy, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, politeness, and manners.  When asked which is more important manners or empathy, 58 percent of the parents said manners. Katler Clark suggested that maybe parents assume if a child is mannerly that they are also empathetic. Not so fast, she cautioned.  Bullies are great at using good manners around adults.

While  the parents thought that manners were more important than empathy,  63 percent of the  teachers  ranked empathy as more important than manners.  Only 30 percent of the teachers said that parents are raising their children with values consistent with their teachers.  OUCH!!  Fifty percent of the teachers surveyed said they felt that being kind is not a top priority.  (Did they mean from the perspective of the children, the parents or themselves?  Hey teachers!...use complete sentences.)

According to the article, research has proven that self-regulation, and pro-social behaviors in children are a predictor for future health, financial stability, and academic success.  Supposedly, kids not only need to see and recognize examples of these types of behaviors but they need to practice them.

Rosemary Truglio said that this year Sesame Street is making kindness a top priority. She said they want to make it more explicit. (I am assuming she means that in a good way.) The show wants to get beyond the niceness of manners. (Although....let's not gloss over that too much...manners matter.)

So what's your thoughts, readers?  Is empathy being taken over by narcissism?  Are children not seeing and recognizing behaviors that teach them to be kind?  Collectively, are we becoming a civilization of  people that choose not to care how others feel?

Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Off to a Slow Start

New Years Day has come and gone and I have yet to scream and shout at the top of my lungs...how much I want you all to have the BEST YEAR EVER!!!!

So let me do it now.  I am screaming it out at this very minute.  Can you hear me???? 

I know a few of my regular readers have mentioned various illnesses, broken bones, ongoing hangovers, incarceration (OK...I might not be entirely clear on that person's excuse).... but all in all... other bloggers seem to have  really valid reasons why they haven't posted or read blogs as of late.  I, on the other hand, will go with the general "catch all" excuse of being busy.  I realize that it's rather vague, unimaginative, and lacking of any detail but it also sounds far better than the words lazy and preoccupied.   

Our last house guest left 3 days ago and I no longer get  to sit around and talk someone's ear off, ply them with baked goods and haul them around Kansas City in search of the best barbecue  joints therefore, I should be getting caught up soon...real soon.

As I am now left to my solo endeavors in a amazingly empty house, I could/should  get crackin' on my list of things I resolve to accomplish this year.

I am not a resolution maker per se.  BUT....every January I feel the need to reevaluate, reorganize, and continue my quest to find balance in my life and home.  Oh yeah..  and let's not forget the all but obligatory.....I resolve to eat healthier and exercise more just like  99 percent of the population will resolve to do. 

I don't know why but every New Year I feel a pull within my soul to clean every closet and drawer within the confines of this house and decide what can stay and what must go.  It is only after the local charity drop off facility bans me from returning due to their space constraints that I  start to feel like I am accomplishing something.  Somewhere in my subconscious,  it seems, requires that having things tidy at the start of the year gives me a  boost for getting  the year off to a strong start.  I have no proof that it matters but still,.... we annually  spend the necessary time to get everything clean and organized in January.

I wish that I could clean up the other messes of the world as easily as a person can clean out a closet and divest it of the old and worn items.  I am wanting  generous amounts of "shiny and bright" to be infused in all things this year. Did any one else feel like 2016 was lack luster?

Here's hoping for a New Year that has more civility, less violence, more consideration and less contentiousness.

Hope your year is off to a wonderful start! I wish for you shiny and bright!