Friday, June 29, 2012

There Should Be a Law

This week, as I was looking around for some odd news articles, I noticed a lot of the stories were in some manner related to laws that weren't neccessarily judicial laws.

The first story covers a couple of laws.  The prone prowler is definitely breaking a judicial law but he didn't count on the law of gravity.

What Goes Up Must Come Down

Police in Brockton,  Massachusetts said an alleged burglar was foiled when his head became stuck under a garage door for nine hours.

According to the report, the owner of the local Rent-A-Center showed up for work around 9 a.m. Tuesday and discovered Manuel Hernandez, with his head stuck between the garage door and the ground, WHDH-TV, Boston, reported Thursday.

"Obviously the owner was surprised to find a person laying under the loading dock door and he immediately called police," Detective Lt. Paul Bonanca said. Investigators said Hernandez, who unsuccessfully tried to convince the police that he was there to repair the door.  The would-be burglar had used a bed post to pry the door up about 7 or 8 inches but when trying to shimmy under it, the door fell pinning him.  He remained there 9 hours until the owner showed up for work the next morning.

Hernandez, who was taken to a hospital to receive treatment for a bruise on his head, will face charges of breaking and entering and malicious damage to property, police said.

Nine hours is a long time to feel stupid.

Hot Damn, I Am In Trouble Now

MIDDLEBOROUGH, Mass. -- Several dozen people have held a profanity laced rally to protest a Massachusetts town's bylaw allowing police to hand out $20 tickets for public swearing.

Some people shouted curse words while others carried profane posters supporting free speech at Monday's rally in the rain on the Middleborough Town Hall lawn. People who support the bylaw also showed up.

But police won't be issuing any tickets until the state attorney general determines if the bylaw making public cursing a civil offense is constitutional. The bylaw was passed overwhelmingly two weeks ago at a town meeting.

I see a huge problem heading Middleborough's way.  There are going to be some people that just won't be able to afford to live there. At 20 dollars a pop there could be some bank overdrafts to say the least.  Of course, it is possible that the Attorney General will just say..Hell no.

If You Repeat a Lie Often Enough...It Becomes a Great Marketing Campaign

In 1989, the State of Rhode Island passed a law that made lying online a crime. The intention was that this law would stop con artists and scammers from preying on people who wandered around the then-miniscule internet. The supposed sentencing guidelines were up to $500.00 and up to a year in jail.

However, the language was remarkably broad and outlawed any transmission of false data. It didn’t make the distinction that someone had to profit from their lies. In other words, if you lied about ANYTHING,  you could be charged.  If you weren't truthful about your weight on a dating site,  for example, you were a law breaker. 

There weren’t too many people that were charged with this crime. The last one was in 2010 and the person charged was a prison guard created a phony Facebook account under his boss’s name.

The charges were eventually dropped and the guard did lose his job, but lawmakers in Rhode Island decided it was time to change the obscure law.

This was the stupidest law EVER.  People are prone to exaggerate, embellish...OK..lie through their teeth.  Frankly, there just isn't that much jail space available in Rhode Island or anywhere else for that matter.  Also,  it could of really played havoc with campaign promises  in an election year.

To the Victor Goes the Spoils and the Bad Behavior

If there were laws against being a classless jerk, there is a coach in Vancouver that would be charged with it.   Luckily there are laws against purposefully hurting someone else, and he may be getting charged with assault. The matter is under investigation and charges may be filed. 

Martin Tremblay, the winning teams coach,  (allegedly) tripped a 13 year old player on the opposing team as the teams walked through the "after-game hand shake" line.  The boy tried to catch himself but came down on his arms. Initially, reports said he sustained minor bruising but now say that he has a broken wrist. 

The two  youth teams were playing at the University of British Columbia campus on Saturday.  After what appeared to be a intentional  move on the Coach Tremblay's part, the police were called. 

The Royal Canadian Mounted Police took the  UBC Hornets coach into custody. He was later released pending further investigation.  For the coaches part he is saying he slipped on the ice.

 What the Puck???  I don't see what  they need to investigate. The coach acted like  a bully on the playground and he is SUPPOSED to be the adult.  I would hate to see how he would have acted if his team had lost. While good sportmanship isn't a mandated law, it should be an expectation... especially of the coach.

Tuesday, June 26, 2012

How Many Animals Before It's a Zoo

For those of you that might be newer readers of  the Art of Being Conflicted...I will bring you up to speed.  I live in Kansas City but walk every morning with a friend that lives in Dallas.  Yes, we get up and get on our cell phones at 6 AM and walk 4.5 miles every day.... rain, snow, wind, sleet.  We're just like the mailman except we don't carry mail and we won't get pensions.  What this does for us (allegedly) is keep us semi-healthy and keeps us from having to buy bigger clothes.

Thought Number One ...I must be a distant relative to Noah

Some of you, long term readers might remember that a few months back,  a red fox seemed to want to join us and started walking with me pretty regularly.   While not entirely welcoming his companionship, he didn't seem to be bothering me so  I let him follow. (really...what was the alternative?  I asked him to stay put and he chose not to)

 If walking each morning while seemingly talking to myself  (people don't understand that I am talking on a bluetooth) doesn't satisfy their assumption, that I'm a whackadoo, I have done them a big favor by offering up corroborating evidence in the form of walking with a red fox.  I aim to please.

You would think that the fox would be enough wildlife that wants to hang out with me but

Last week, a neighbor stop by the house and asked me about the deer grazing near my front yard.

"Huh??? What deer???"

He says  " I saw two deer grazing near  your  front yard on my way to the gym around 5:30 this morning. It looked like a doe and her fawn."

Really, I say, "Can't say that I noticed any deer at my house."

I am thinking this just shouldn't be happening.    Here the deal....I live in suburbia.  I don't live in a forest, a zoo,  or even a wildlife sanctuary.   Olathe, KS is part of a metro area of about 2.2  million people.  There is a large park and a creek nearby but there are other yards besides mine for the local fauna to hang out in.

But there's more...I kid you not...  2 days after the deer sighting, my next door know ....the one that I usually try to dodge, corners me and says, "What a pretty red fox you have in your back yard. It just has the most gorgeous tail." (like that is a good thing)

" my yard????"  Then...she goes on to say how beautiful my fox is, like she thinks I have a pet fox. (I decided not to mention, he is my walking partner, not my pet) There is little doubt in my mind that she has already spread the news that Cheryl P. has gotten a new pet that just happens to be a fox with a beautiful tail.

Sure enough, the next morning, when I leave the house for my morning walk, I circle around to the back yard and there he newest resident. Note to all of you: Don't let a fox become a walking buddy as they will take advantage.

AND STILL IT DOESN'T END...This morning I walk out and
guess what???? A mommy possum is moving her babies out from my
front shrubs.  This just can't be happening.  Hell, no...enough already.

Just minutes ago, I got off the phone with the Olathe Wildlife Control Office.  They don't seem to be bothered about my wildlife problem.   The fact that I was detecting a chuckle here and there wasn't in any way making me feel better. OWCO person tells me none of my guests will hurt me.  Although, she did say the possum might snarl at me prior to pretending to be dead.  Good times, to look forward to, I guess.

Thought Number 2 ......I am living in a Disney nightmare.

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Thursday, June 21, 2012

You Might Want to Rethink That

There are a number of quotes that deal with the concept of  "thinking before doing".  You know...sayings like:

 Look before you leap for as you sow, ye are like to reap. Samuel Butler

 Good plans shape good decisions. Robert Bittel

 By failing to prepare, you are preparing to fail.  Benjamin Franklin

Perhaps a little more thought should have
gone into this sign.

Is a Murder charge better than a DUI?

Sweden, June 21 (UPI) -- Swedish authorities said a drunken woman falsely claimed to have committed a murder in an attempt to get a free ride home.

Police said the 50-year-old woman, whose name was not released, called police after a night of heavy drinking in Gothenburg and said she had committed a murder and wanted to turn herself in, Swedish news agency TT reported Thursday.

The woman admitted to her ruse when police arrived, telling them she was just trying to get a free ride home. Officers took her to a local detox center instead.

The woman, who was fined $244 for wasting police resources, is facing trial on a charge of making a false alarm to police. Prosecutors are seeking a $285 fine for the charge.

I am not entirely convinced that in her drunken state that there wasn't a moment of brilliance.  By calling the police and claiming she had committed a murder, she was sure to get an immediate response.  No waiting around for an expensive cab to come and haul her sorry butt home.  The real flaw in her plan was the cost of the fines. The cab ride probably would have been less.

What is Going On In Sweden?

Two men broke into a house in a suburb near Stockholm.  Upon entry, they bound the homeowner's hands, threatened him with a knife, and absconded with three valuable paintings.

One of the paintings was an 1877 piece by Carl Larsson, "Clair-Obscur", believed to be worth between three and five million kronor ($428,00 and $713,000).

As luck (or lack there of) would have it, the painting was too large for the red Ford sedan that the hapless burglars were driving.   After trying to get it in the car, they gave up and threw it to the side.

Police launched a large hunt for the offenders, but have so far been unsuccessful.  However, it was noted in the incident report that the owner had someone come to his door the previous day asking for the front door code.  As a warning to his neighbors, he had posted a sign.

"Attention: Someone rang me asking for the code to the front door -beware of burglars."

Some evidence has been obtained by police who have labeled the crime as aggravated theft. (perhaps the whole binding, threatening and stealing part) The case has since been turned over to a specialized investigative team that is busy looking for leads.

I wonder if the burglars read the sign on the door before breaking in.  I think there is a certain irony in that....sorta like seeing a "beware of the dog" sign when you are the dog.

Definitely Didn't Think Before Acting
Lynne, Rasbornik of Menomonee Falls, Wis., is accused of attacking her husband after she found copies of The Onion, a news satire weekly, in the trunk of his car.

The victim told police that his wife considers The Onion, pornography and that they had fought about the papers before. (Obviously, the Mrs. R. has never seen real porn or she would know the difference.)

Rasbornik allegedly told cops that her husband was the one who attacked her but, while she was speaking with police, she kept scratching and poking herself to make injuries more apparent, according to a criminal complaint.
Rasbornik was charged with one count of disorderly conduct domestic abuse.

According to one of the write up on this story, it was noted that Mrs. Rasbornik "beat the sh** out of her husband" and it is just the kind of story that one could find in The Onion. I think Mr. Rasbornik, should be thankful that she didn't find a Hustler in the trunk or he would be a dead man.

Just to leave you on a positive note today....Here is an example of some advanced planning that makes some sense. 

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

Age Versus Aptitude

Thought #1...Is there a perception that older people aren't able to effectively use newer technology?

OK...let's get right to the you think the ability to use the newer techie devices is dependant on your age? Is there a link between age and aptitude??

Why do I ask??? Well, I was reading a blog several weeks ago that was written by a "20 something"  year old, who was talking about her mother. Her mom had just  gotten her first smart phone and the blogger was getting a bunch of goofy text messages. Such as:

                            Is the sAle on saT orsunday?

 I don't mean to be coming across as critical of the blog...not in the least.  The blogger that I am referring to is hysterical.  Whether or not her mother actually typed that text or not, her post was a riot.  This is all good, as her blog is supposed to be humerous. (and it is) My problem began when I read all the comments. While the blogger had me laughing,  some of  her commenters didn't. In all fairness, to the commenters, it is not their job to be funny.  (and they succeeded)

There were 43 people that left comments  (not including me... that probably should of kept my comment to  myself) that were having an absolute laugh-fest implying that there mothers were morons.  Seems  all of their moms not only don't know how to text but they don't know  how to do a lot of other things as well. A few managed to throw their dads under the bus just for good measure. Turns out a few dads don't even own a cell phone. If that makes them lesser dads, I am not sure.

At that point,  I started feeling like I was in a dodgeball game with 43 throwers on one side and just little ole me on the other.  AND they throw hard. 

The impression I got from the comments was that being young is an automatic key to being proficient with electronic devices. There was a air of superiority directly linked to their youth, when in fact their proficiency has to do with factors that have nothing to do with the number of years they have been alive.

I am especially sensitive to age these days but I am relatively competent with computers and smart phones.  Anyway....for the last 3 weeks I have been covertly watching people 55 and older and taking note as to whether or not they know their sh** when it comes to using gadgets.

 After looking around for the better part of a month, here are some of my observations. I don't think this is an age thing. I think there are some people of  all ages  that are or can be proficient with  the newer technologies. Then, there are some  (again in all age groups) that  don't give a rat's ass about newer technology and therefore just don't engage in learning or using it.  AND... there are some people that are just  plain idiots.  But with that being said, there are also some genuine geniuses out there.  Some of these smarty-pants types are older than me. (which by some people's measure is really f!%$#&* OLD)

So my conclusion is that while those commenters are feeling pretty smug because they are young, they really should just be smug (if one should actually ever be smug) because they have a some level of knowledge and capabilities as far as using electronics.

Thought #2 - I can see where proficiency in using devices leads to tormenting others. (I am not condoning or endorsing...just pointing out that it might.)

As I went back and reread the comments, I can see where some of the "young ones"  anecdotes about the things their moms did or didn't do with their cell phones were pretty humorous. If it wasn't for the fact that the blame seemed to be inferred to the age of the moms as opposed to the actual lack of knowledge, I would have been enjoying their little stories a bit more.

In fact, I sometimes like to take the opportunity to tease some of my own family members in regards to their device deficiencies. One in one and only brother.    He actually is fairly proficient at using computers but continues to do the minimum on his cell phone. His phone has the capability to  receive texts but he rarely uses texting as he is one of "those people" that claim if he has something to say, he would just call the person.

BTW ....I can dish  out abuse out far better than I can take it.  Also, I am not screwing with him because he is a year older than me.  That would just be mean. I am screwing with him because he is just fun to screw with.

So on a day that I had nothing better to do, I sent a text to him.  (Note to anyone younger than.. say 50... yes, I know how to text.)

For you that need a tutorial the green messages are mine and the grey messages are "Brother".

This is the kind of thing that will keep him up for a few nights as I now have planted the seed that he bought a stupid smart phone. Actually, he probably had his cell phone provider's customer service rep on the line by the time I set my phone down on my desk. 

 Maybe I should call him and let him off the hook. OR..... Perhaps I will give him some "interesting" tips on how to give his phone some remedial education so it too can be SMARTER.

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Friday, June 15, 2012

Life in the Slow Lane

This week has been incredibly slow in the area of weird or unusual news.  Let's assume for the sake of argument that it isn't that I have gotten so jaded that nothing is striking me as weird.  Yet, that might be the case.

There were a couple of stories that I thought had some potential to report to you, but the media is being a little less than forthright in giving details.

For example:  There has been a video on You Tube of a car pulling into a parking garage.  So far that doesn't seem too far out of the ordinary, right???  Keep your eye on the guy looking from a least for a while.

I have tried to found out the specifics of where this came from and who the frighteningly bad driver is but there seems to be no details given ANYWHERE.  (if any of my readers have the pertinents, be sure to share)

 A Stunning Zombie

A Pennsylvania woman who allegedly zapped a man with a stun gun as she tried to flee the scene of a hit-and-run accident was subsequently apprehended thanks to her distinctive "ZOMBIE" vanity license plate, according to a criminal complaint.

Yardley Joy Frantz struck a man and a boy when she drove her 2008 Honda Civic into a crowd on an Allentown street Saturday evening. When a bystander confronted her as she sought to depart, Frantz removed a stun gun from the car’s glove compartment and zapped him in the chest.

Witnesses told police that the motorist, dressed in pajamas, was driving a car with "ZOMBIE" license plates. Cops quickly traced the vehicle to Frantz, who claimed she could not recall who was behind the wheel when the pedestrians were hit. A passenger in Frantz's Honda told investigators that she "carries a stun gun in the glove box of her car."

Frantz was arrested on a variety of charges, including aggravated assault, simple assault, harassment, and illegal use of an electronic incapacitation device. She was freed from custody after posting $20,000 bail.

I guess you never know when you might need to use a stun gun as you drive around town. It is a real shame she can't remember who was behind the wheel.

Do You Need A Wake Up Call?

Sold out for the summer
A room with a view isn’t hard to find, but a room with a view and a giant 100-year-old clock dominating the floor plan may exist in only one place on the planet.

You’ll have to travel to Ghent, Belgium, this summer to see the unusual rental perched 75 feet above ground and constructed around the top of the clock tower of the city’s Sint-Pieters train station – part inn, part art exhibit.
Welcome to the one-room Hotel Gent, open for business from only until September.
The temporary lodging is the creation of Japanese artist Tazu Rous who has made it his mission to transform public objects into something much more intimate by enclosing them in private settings.
The  summer rental was built around the clock that stands 75 feet above Ghent, Belgium.
Room comes with a clock for your convenience.
So much fascination, in fact, that overnight stays at Hotel Gent – at around $130 per night – sold out in 23 minutes. For that price, you get a studio apartment with hardwood floors, a spacious bed, a comfortable sitting area and a bath with a view of Ghent.
Ghent Mayor DaniĆ«l Termont was the first guest to spend the night and he told organizers that it was a very special experience. He’s used to putting his watch next to his bed to check the time, he told them, but it wasn’t necessary.

No reservation? No problem. Visitors who want to experience Hotel Gent can stop in from noon to 6 p.m. Tuesday through Sunday until it closes permanently on Sept. 16.

I know you all must be disappointed that there are no vacancies, but the upside is that the room is closed if the wind blows more than 37 miles an hour.  Evidently art-hotels aren't as sturdy as real hotels.

Robs same store three times in two days

Latasha Singletary is charged with robbing the same liquor store three times in less than twenty-four hours.  She was arrested at her home in Fall River, Mass after police received tips that led them to her.

Suggest reading for
Ms. Singletary
Singletary was already on probation from a robbery charge that was pending from April of 2011. That charge is also for a robbery of the same store.   Anna's Liquors seems to be the place of choice for Singletary's crime spree. 

Investigators say that Singletary went inside Anna's Liquors at 4 p.m. Tuesday with a knife and T-shirt pulled over her head and demanded that the 52-year-old clerk give her money. After that robbery, she did manage to escape and police were unable to find her.
Singletary then returned the next day at 10 a.m. to rob the store again, police said. This time in addition to money, cigarettes, lottery tickets and liquor bottles were also taken. While police were typing up the incident report for the morning robbery, they received a call at 2 p.m. that Singletary was robbing the store again.
She was being held on $25,000 bail before her arraignment Thursday.

Either Latasha really loves Anna's Liquor store or she really hates it. 

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

Is That What You Call Art?

Business is blooming and booming at the Overland Park, KS Arboretum and Botanical Gardens this week but not for the reasons you might think.  This  public garden on the south side of Johnson County is a beautiful 300 acre oasis in the metro area of Kansas City. It also is the topic of conversation resulting from a skirmish over the appropriateness of a statue that has been placed there.

Recently, the Arboretum was gifted 11 life-sized sculptures gifted to the garden by Chinese sculptors.  The long term goal by the arboretum is to place these sculptures into a International  Sculpture Garden that will be built to expand the Arboretum.

Thought Number One 

Art takes nature as its model.    ...... Aristotle

the Arboretum is an educational, recreational and
 cultural resource for the Kansas City region.

Thought Number Two

“Art without emotion its like chocolate cake without sugar. It makes you gag.”
― Laurie Halse Anderson

Well, then one of the donated sculptures that was placed at the Arboretum must be truly "art" as it seems to be making some people gag and it is certainly stirring up a whole lot of emotion.  The up- side to this flap about the questionable art,  is the attendance at the arboretum is up.  No firm figures have been released but a spokesperson has said the gardens are far busier than normal.

The controversy over one of the gifted statues started May 9th when  a young mother, Joanne Hughs,  accompanied by her husband and two small children were walking on one of the parks nature  trails when they happened by a sculpture that Hughs felt was inappropriate for a public garden..  To be clear on this point, Mrs.  Hughes believes the sculpture needs to be relocated somewhere that is less visited by young families.  She feels the art is too mature for young children and sends a "wrong" message.  She feels   that a naked, dismembered body is taking pictures of itself, lends it inappropriate for small kids.  She found it a vulgar depiction of sexting.

Of course, the people that think Mrs. Hughs is being narrow minded, are quick to point out that the works of Rodin or Michelangelo were nude and there are numerous ancient works of antiquity that were as well.  Mrs. Hughs counters with "I have seen the statue of David in person.  It is beautiful. He is also not taking a picture of his penis. There is a difference there.  The message is different."

Sarah Van Landuyt, executive director of the Arts Council of Johnson County, said she thinks the arboretum sculpture is doing what art is supposed to do.  "The artwork is not meant to be pornographic. It is meant to spark this kind of conversation."

 Mrs. Hughs initially tried to discuss what she perceived as an inappropriate sculpture for a venue  that is open to the public with various city officials.  After getting no satisfaction from Overland Park's mayor, city manager, council members, nor any of the  arboretum officials, she has now started a campaign that includes an on-line petition.    At this point she has almost 3000 signatures from all over the United States.

The city and the arboretum have both made statements essentially stating that they do not consider the sculpture to be offensive, obscene and have no plans on relocating it.  There have been signs posted, however,  that say:

Some pieces included a display of the human body and parental guidance is encouraged.

The signs have not appeased Mrs. Hughs and she is now working with Kansas and Missouri chapters of the American Family Association, whose national organization is hoping to get enough signatures compel a Johnson County District Court to convene  grand jury impaneled to decide whether the arboretum can be indicted on obscenity charges.

The statue named appropriately enough "Accept or Reject" by
Yu Chang

So what are your thoughts?  Does Mrs. Hughs have valid points?  But does the County and City officials have the right to incorporate all types of art in the community?

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Sunday, June 10, 2012

I Must Seem Like an Ingrate

Three long weeks ago, Gina Gao  at Modern World  gave me the Kreativ Blogger Award.  I am just now getting down to the business of fullfilling the requirements.  The requirements for the Kreativ Blogger are a little more in depth than most....seriously?...they are asking me questions.   These wouldn't be tough questions for a "normal" person but alas, we are dealing with ME.  A lot of questions require multiple answers....yes...there could be an infinite number of possible answers.  When I named my blog The Art of Being Conflicted" I wasn't kidding.

You will see what I mean shortly.

1. First Question.... What is your favorite song?

Already, I am in trouble.  What genre?? I have tons of favorites in all kinds of genres.  I like pop, rock, hip hop, gospel, country pop and country crossover, movie soundtracks, alternative.. oh...and I adore children's music.   OK, just to pick one, My Father's World, an old-time gospel song.

2.  Favorite Dessert....Any dessert is delicious.  I rarely eat dessert but if you offer me something with sugar in's going to get eaten. 

3.  What ticks you off?  Rudeness for one thing. I could name others but you are now seeing that nothing is a one answer proposition with me?

4.   What do you do when you are upset?  I get irritable and quiet.  I stew about things.  Then I usually put in behind me or try to resolve the problem.

5. What is your favorite pet?  Even tie between dogs and cats.  Currently my two cats are the cutest pets on the planet.  (although a few of my blogger friends have really cute pets)

6. Which do you prefer black or white?? Seriously, you are expecting me to decide between black and white??? In clothing...Black.  In teeth...white.

7. What is your biggest fear? I worry nonstop but I don't have any specific fears.  If a mouse ran across my foot while I was typing this, perhaps I would have a different answer.

8.   What is your attitude?   This is an incomplete sentence.  My attitude towards what??? Life?  Optimistic.  My attitude towards crime?  Very negative.

9. What is perfection?  I am not convinced that anything is perfect but I am fine with most things being less than perfect...but then there are limitations as to how "less" we are talking about.

10. What is your guilty pleasure?  Diet Coke, I know it is not good for me and I am hopelessly addicted to it.

I am supposed to give you ten random facts about myself.....

1.  Female

2. Married

3. Mother

4. Clean Freak

5. Very Organized

6.  Lose patience with bad customer service esp. electronic menus that don't have the prompt I need.

7.  Have infinite patience with little kids and people that need help.

8. Love to hear other people's points of view.

9.  Not crazy about people that believe their point of view is the only correct way of looking at things.

10. Love techy things.

Are those random enough??

Five others that deserve this award

Clearly there are thousands that deserve this award but here are 5 that you should click on and read because they are interesting.

1.  Crack You Whip Very funny humor with very clever drawings.

2.  Super Earthling  Another person that has the ability to draw really fun cartoons and she is   super funny.

3. Older Eyes --- Bud writes from the perspective of a 60 something year old, semi retired man, I find his topics are always enlightening and entertaining.  He is an awesome writer.

4.  The Wyatt Zoo --- Kelly has recently had her third baby. She blogs about her adorable family and posts the most precious pictures of her family. 

5. The Chubby Chatterbox  --- This nomination  is sincere although one might suspect that I am doing this as he just sent an award my way as well.  The fact is, that Chatterbox writes super interesting posts and always has some interesting topics.   And he is an AMAZING illustrator.

With that being said...Thanks Chatterbox for the award. Luckily for me the requirements for this award were covered by the Kreative Blogger requirements.  Two-fer-one...yay!!!

So to the above mentioned bloggers, feel free to grab the Illuminated Blogger award (not you Chatterbox, obviously).   The requirements are simple:

State a random fact about yourself and list 3 other bloggers that deserve the award and why.
(I realize that I have four listed...but I know for a fact, that one of those rarely takes these awards...but on the outside chance all four take it...YAY...they all deserve it)

Friday, June 8, 2012

And the Award Goes To

Another week and another group of  "lesser reported" news stories.  This week I have decided to have an awards show of sorts.  Best in category if you will....

Award for the Most Unusual Pharmacy

If you can't go to the pharmacy, bring the pharmacy with you.  At least that is what a New York woman tried to do.

This is part of the inventory that was taken from Andrea's stash.
Who knew hoohas were so roomy?
Before Andrea Amanatides was set to begin a six-month sentence for a probation violation, she allegedly filled a condom with 256 prescription pills including 90 pills of Lyrica, 37 Adderall tablets, 50 Valiums, 43 Trazadones, 10 Ambiens and 26 Oxycontins, added four bags of heroin and put the condom in her vagina. (I don't believe that is a prescribed use for vaginas)

While she was waiting in an Albany County Jail holding cell, the contraband-filled condom apparently broke and one of the pills fell onto the floor. A surveillance video of Amanatides seems to show that when she tried to adjust her pill-filled groin, more pills fell out and rolled to floor from her pants leg.

Amanatides was charged with five misdemeanor counts of criminal possession of a controlled substance and felony promotion of prison contraband. She was arraigned in Colonie Town Court and sent back to county jail.

I have to believe the police did her a big favor by relieving her of her stash.  If she was put into the general population jail with her pharmacy still in place, I think the other prisoners would be entering illegally to get some of the drugs.

Award for the Most Irate Ex-Girlfriend

A North Carolina woman is facing a malicious castration charge (there is a charge you don't hear of everyday)  after she allegedly squeezed the scrotum of a 59-year-old acquaintance so vigorously that one of the victim’s testicles was dislodged, according to police.
The victim told Shelby Police Department officers that he was attacked early Saturday morning by Joyce Maxine Gregory, with whom he had been arguing in his apartment.  According to cops, Gregory and the man had previously been in “some sort of a romantic relationship.”
As detailed in a wince-inducing police report, the victim told cops that Gregory “grabbed him by his scrotum” in a vise-like grip. While he was able to “jerk away from her grip,” the man freed himself after Gregory had succeeded in squeezing a testicle out of his scrotum.
Officer M. L. McPherson reported that the victim’s “scrotum had been split open,” adding that, “I was also able to observe one of the subject’s testicles protruding from the scrotum area.”
Along with malicious castration, Gregory was charged with assault causing serious bodily injury (both counts are felonies). Now locked up in the county jail in lieu of $20,000 bond, Gregory is scheduled for a June 18 court hearing.

  On the way to jail, she removed her pants and urinated on the back seat of the patrol car.  She is also, receiving awards in the category of most "Unlady-Like Behavior" and an honorable mention in the category of "Vicious Bitches".

It's a Tie...Awards for Being the Worst Parents of the Week.

First Award in this Category for the Week....

Chicago police received a surprise this week when they reportedly found a three-year-old girl holding a handgun during a routine traffic stop.

An officer in Chicago pulled a car of six people over in East Garfield Park, a  community on the west side of Chicago, last Wednesday. Two children were seated in the vehicle sans any type of car seat or restraints. 

As the police approach the car, they noticed that the driver, Queshawn King was frantically making movement towards a three year old girl while yelling out her name, "Fatty",  multiple times.

A police sergeant approached the little girl who was seated on the front passenger side of the car and saw that she was holding a 9 mm handgun. The sergeant tried to retrieve the weapon but the little girl tossed the gun onto the floor. Luckily the gun didn't discharge, although the car was loaded with 8 rounds.

King was charged with felony unlawful use of a weapon for having a loaded weapon inside the vehicle, misdemeanor endangering the life and health of a child, and misdemeanor possession of a firearm without a valid license.

I would add multiple charges for the fact, he called a little girl Fatty.  Really???  It's bad enough to make your three year old a gun moll but naming a child Fatty....he should get life.

Second Award For Bad Parent of the Week
 A marijuana-smoking woman was arrested on Saturday in Phoenix after she accidentally drove away with her five-week-old son in a child safety seat on the roof of her vehicle, police said.
The baby fell off the car in the middle of an intersection, albeit unnoticed by the driver/mother.  The baby was found unharmed and  still strapped into the seat, said Phoenix police spokesman James Holmes.
The mother Catalina Clouser was booked into jail on child abuse and aggravated assault charges, he said. The infant was taken to a local hospital as a precaution and is in the custody of state Child Protective Services.
According to the report, earlier in the day, Clouser and her boyfriend had been smoking marijuana in a park when they decided to go for a beer run taking the infant with them.  They, however, got stopped and the boyfriend was arrested for driving under the influence.
Clouser was so upset that she went over to a friend's house smoke some more marijuana. At about midnight she got into her car to leave.  The problem, however, is that she had placed the baby still in the car seat up on top of the car before driving off.
Clouser apparently did not realize that the baby was missing until she arrived home.

***Shaking my head**** Really, could this chick have made any more bad decisions in a one day period? Smoking weed and needing a beer chaser, letting boyfriend drive under the influence with your kid "in" the car, (as opposed to on the roof),  setting baby on  the roof of car, driving under the influence,  and not noticing a baby falling off the roof of a car.  Is it wrong that the only positive thing I see in the story is that she at least uses a car seat?

Wednesday, June 6, 2012

You Might Be Surprised

Would you be surprised if I told you that the word "unlimited" means "you have definite limits and you need to watch out closely to keep within those limits".   That's not what you thought it meant??? As it happens, until last Friday, I too, was confused.  I am clear on the new and improved definition of "unlimited".  So as a PSA, let me clear things up for you as well.

A little side note: Did I happen to mention that Witchy Cheryl is back and undergoing some type of transformation?  I have noticed that my witchy persona turns more green as I get more aggravated IE more witchy.

The reason I bring up Witchy Cheryl is that last Friday, I got a text message from my cellular service provider.  (I use the term "service" loosely, in this scenario) and it brought out the worst in my alter ego.

The text said:  You have currently used 4 times your allotment of roaming.  You need to call us IMMEDIATELY, to resolve this.  (something to the effect..1-800-URN-TRBL)

HUH???? Roaming???? Allotment?????

I have no roaming constraints (or so I thought) from the company I have been doing business with for the past 16 years. I hesitate to name them at this point, but I have mentioned them plenty of other times, so I am pretty sure  you can figure it out, if you would be so inclined. This particular company offers an "UNLIMITED ONE RATE PLAN".   On top of the "unlimited one rate plan" (which refers to cellular phone calls) I also have "unlimited media" and "unlimited texting".  All of this "no need to ever worry because it is unlimited" usage comes with a price.   $$$$$$....indeed a hefty price that we have been paying  for quite a long time. 

So...imagine my surprise that I went over my allotment of "unlimited".

This little debacle started when  I was coming out of the gym, and I noticed the offending text. Needless to say, I drove directly to the store where I bought my latest incarnation of the IPhone (hint, hint) and asked Stuart,  the guy that hubby and I bought our phones from, "Hey, how is it possible that I am 4 times over my allotment??? AND .... How much is this going to cost me???? 

Stuart looked puzzled.  Partly, I suppose because of my deepening green coloring and partly because he too thought "unlimited" meant "unlimited".  (poor delusional Stuart) So, Stuart tells me that I have a one rate plan and as far as he knows they can't charge me but he thinks to be on the safe side I had better call the 1-800 number that was contained in the text message.

Another surprising twist to this...last week when all my service  (phones, Internet, and TV) was on the fritz, I had to wait my turn for about 30 minutes each time on the dozen or so calls that it took to get the problem resolved.  Now that I am hogging media bytes, I go right to the front of the line. 

I explain to the CSR that I was under the impression that the "unlimited one rate  plan" meant I could use it unlimitedly.   That is not the case. As it happens, we haven't abused the number of phone calls or the number of text messages.  We have, however, been abusing the "connecting or trying to connect to the Internet".   Because, hubby is working in  the dead zone of Nebraska (remember last week I was talking about having "next to no" connection to service in Nebraska) he is using the tower of another company ( be totally accurate on that point..hubby is TRYING to use the tower of another company) So, it is hubby that is racking up media useage because his smartphone has a Facebook app that is constantly trying to update. Whether it is successful isn't the point.  It is TRYING all  the time.  So CRS person says, turn off the apps, ESPECIALLY FACEBOOK,  set the fetch setting to manual, and turn the WIFI on so that if we are brazen enough to try to use the Internet on our phones in Nebraska, we had better be in a hot spot to latch on to someone else's server.  Turning off the phone isn't the answer, in case you are wondering.  The apps work even when the phone is off.

Also, it turns out that because they can't charge us for our excessive use, they have told us that we need to make the aforementioned changes and if not...they will cancel us. 

REEEEAAAALLYYY....We have been paying them on time every month for 16 years....mega dollars a month and because hubby is working in a state that they don't have coverage, they are threatening us with suspension or cancellation.  From what I understood we have 30 days to repent and mend our ways.

The one question, I forgot to ask CRS person is "if they cancel there a cancellation fee????"  I know if I cancel them it is $325.00 per phone (2 phones in our case)  but if they cancel us do we get a fee from them for $650.00. 

As for me not having their company name splashed all over this post.....I noticed when I was talking to the CRS person, they seem to know a lot about our Internet usage.  I probably don't want to tick them off any more than I already have by them seeing me bitch about their company.  (although, maybe another person reading my blog would be a good thing)

 Currently they are just mad because we have been using our smart phones (now that the apps are turned off they technically they are dumb phones) to access the Internet.  I better not give them additional reasons to text me.  But of course, in Nebraska, I probably wouldn't receive it.

Tuesday, June 5, 2012

Polls, Studies and Other Fairy Tales

Thought Number One .. Do these Polls Have It Right Or Wrong?

Do you happen to live in St. Louis, Missouri? If you do, you might have placed NUMBER ONE on a recent poll by Men's Health magazine. Of course, it is possible that you wouldn't want to be #1 as this particular list. That would mean you live in the city that has the worst drivers in America.

 Perhaps, you think that Men's Health got it wrong and the worst drivers are where you live.  OK, you still have a fighting chance at the title.   According to Travel + Leisure magazine, that honor goes to Miami, Florida.   Still not where you live???   No worries... you  have yet another shot at the prize (?)....You could have been the winner by living in Washington DC if you listen to Allstate Insurance's Best Driver Report (or worst depending on which end of the list you are on).

So what is the take away from all of this?????


Or maybe... another take-away is that there are a lot of really crappy drivers in  a lot of cities and no one can figure out who is the worst of the worst.

Thought Number Two:  A Lot of Disparity In the Numbers

To examine the differences between the polls dealing with America's worst drivers, I looked to see how my city's ranking fared.

The Allstate's Best Driver Report has Kansas City, Kansas listed as 37th best in a field on 100 for being safe drivers and Kansas City, Missouri as being the 22nd on the list.  So according to Allstate, we're bad drivers but clearly not the worst.

Then we get (nearly) vindicated by  Travel + Leisure.  They have Kansas City ranked as the second SAFEST city in America with only Portland, Oregon beating us out.  Yay us!!!

But wait...not so fast in taking our bows.... Men's Health has us as number 95th out of 100 on the WORST list.  There seems to be 5 other cities that have drivers that are worse than Kansas Citians. 

In all fairness to the various poll takers, perhaps the reason we are both 2nd from the top of the best drivers and fifth from the bottom of the worst drivers is that people are horribly confused about which state's DMV to check with.  There is an never-ending confusion on where we are and what state we are in.

First of all to locate us....we are in the middle...nearly the exact middle of  the United States. 

I did find it interesting as I looked at the cities listed on these various polls, most cities had a state listed behind it.  For example on all the lists Dallas, was listed as Dallas, Texas.  (BTW...for those of you that live in Dallas, your city did very well and ranked high for being the worst drivers in America.  You were #2 on the Men's Health Poll.  So close...but not quite the winner.  Better luck next year.) But conspicuously, there was not a state listed behind Kansas City.  I think given the fact that people were probably arguing back and forth..."it's it's Kansas" they opted not to take a chance and get it wrong.

I have to give praise where it's due though.  Allstate not only figured out that KC has a presence in two states but even ranked both sides of the city as noted above.  (Missouri 22 and Kansas this was listing cities with safe drivers.....number one being the safest and 100 being Washington DC)

Maybe in the future I will confine my bad driving to the Missouri side of town, so I can try to help even up the score.

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