Friday, March 30, 2012

Cats, Bats, and Sex Kittens

Ahhh, my bloggee, friends...I thought this was going to be a light week for the  "lesser reported" news.  For those of you out there doing handstands, not so fast, I found a few....  besides chiropractors take a dim view of handstands. 

As there have been some big stories this week such as the continuing coverage of the Trayvon Martin killing,  I wasn't seeing much in the way of "stupid and less important" news, but, alas, a few things caught my eye. (just one, the other is lazy.)

Strippers Getting Off in Tennessee

Now you just get your mind out of the gutter! I am talking about the fact this week, the Tennessee House decided not to make strippers and other assorted sex "workers" pay a 20 percent sales tax on items sold in any sexually oriented business (what? what?) and require strippers to pay a "privilege" tax (their words, not mine) to work in Tennessee.

Well, as much as I am sure it is a privilege to work as a stripper in Tennessee, I am thinking the reasoning behind this tax is somewhat flawed.

The bill was sponsored by Rep. Joe Carr and he had a lot to say. Carr said the projected income from taxing the Tennessee "sexperts" ( just to clarify that is my word, not his) would bring in $8.5 MILLION.  (seems to be a lot of hanky-panky going on in Tennessee).  About $5 Million of that was to go toward removing the state's sales tax on gold, silver, or platinum coins.  (Is it just me or is there some confusion here? Coins and strippers.... that I am missing???)

Tracey O'Neall, a lobbyist for the "adult" industry of Tennessee. (OMG...can you believe there is a job like this?  Where do we send our resumes?) didn't think it was fair that mainstream theatres and bookstores would be exempt from this tax even if they sold explicit material.  (Good point, Tracey!)
Tracey went on to say " You're singling out one sector of entertainment and this will set the state up for unnecessary litigation at the incredible cost to the taxpayer. ...this will be challenged if it is passed."

Indeed, the bill failed as the question of enforcing and handling the disputes seemed to be an issue. Disputes? Are we to believe that the strippers are going to be less than honest with how many ones got shoved in their g-string? 

I just couldn't help but think how fun the tax audit would be.  The poor IRS guy that had to actually ask the hard questions as to how much income was generated and how by the "sex worker".  Really, aren't poll  pole taxes a thing of the past.

Speaking of Sex Workers

Shelley Lynn, a former prostitute and employee of the Las Vegas Chicken Ranch brothel, is suing McDonalds.  She is claiming it is McDonald's fault that she became a ho. She is suing the fast food chain AND her ex-husband AND his company, Ivernia, that owned the McDonald's franchise that she worked at more than 20 years ago. 

According to Shelly, it was the low wages, lack of benefits, and poor health care plans in part that made her turn to being a prostitute.   She goes on to say that her ex (who was her boss if you're following this) emotionally and psychologically coerced her into the sex trade. Her ex-husband, Keith Handley, still owns the franchises.

Lynn states that McDonalds is at fault for failing to protect her, having a person in charge without monitoring the situation and giving her a proper venue for grievances. 

Is this what puts the happy in the Happy Meals? 

Nice Car Dude

Police in Maryland pulled over a motorist last week.  Why is that news, you ask?  Because this particular motorist is none other...wait for it....BATMAN.  Yes, indeedy, our caped crusader was stopped by the popo for not having the proper tags displayed.  His plate did have a Batman logo for his license plate which isn't recognized in Maryland as a state issued and approved plate. (really?)

Our super hero escaped a ticket though as his Batmobile Lamborghini is properly licensed to Lenny B. Robinson who visits sick children at local hospitals.  After showing the police the proper plate and posing for a picture, our Dark Knight was off to do good deeds.  You just have to love a Superhero.

Holy Batman...kapow...that is just too much fun. 

Raining Cats and....NO, just cats

Rescuers are calling Sugar a miracle cat.  Sugar fell out of a 19th floor Boston highrise apartment window...yes, as in  ONE NINE.. and landed relatively unscathed. A little minor bruising on her chest but nothing major.

Britanny Kirk, the 32 year old nurse,  that owns Sugar, said she cracked the window open a bit so her kitty wouldn't get hot. Somehow, Sugar managed to fall.  Several things aided her in surviving such a dangerous fall.  She landed on a small pile of mulch instead of concrete.  Also, she stayed close to the building instead of running into the street.  All considered she is a very lucky cat.

As I really like cats, I am thinking this was a planned, well thought out, stunt...nothing to do with a cat being stupid.  Perhaps, Sugar is going to perfect the sport of kitty-diving with the rest of her 8 lives.

Monday, March 26, 2012

Lines that are not so Fine

Two Thoughts for Tuesday

Thought #1 - What is this "Fine Line" that people refer to as  being crossed...

Yesterday on my post  Over the Line I was talking about crossing the "invisible line" of what is acceptable for certain age groups to wear.  Not that we would melt into a puddle of goo, if we chose to put on too short of skirt or too high of heels (I know... even from here, I hear you screaming "what, what" ...are you insane?... there is no such thing as too high of heels".)  But here I am, thinking about all the "fine lines" that come into play in our lifetime.

There are those "damn lines" that some commercials call "fine" lines.  There isn't anything fine about nothing at all.  Those are actually the opposite of fine. UNFINE LINES

And there is the line that we cross without even being aware of it day you are a MISS...the next day you are a MA'AM.

Then there is the "fine line" where the "powers-that-be" no longer ask you for this....

Now they want to see this:

Thought Number Two...Some possible lines you may want to tread cautiously over.

How many cats does it take you from being a  CAT LOVER to being a  CAT LADY?

How many extra pounds does it take to take you from being BIG BONED  to being FAT?

How much skin is exposed before SEXY becomes SLUTTY?

How much "couch surfing" do you do before your buds quit calling you a FRIEND  and now refer to you as a  FREELOADER?

How many CHILDREN can you have before you are a REALITY SHOW?  (at least 19 it would seem)

How many TRAFFIC TICKETS does it take before the local police force refer to your car as the DEATH-MOBILE?

How many times did you color your hair before people quit asking "DOES SHE OR DOESN'T SHE?" and went right to  "SHE DEFINITELY DOES"?

How many times do you offer "CONSTRUCTIVE CRITICISM" before you are known as a 'TOTAL BITCH?

How many cosmetic procedures did you have done before it went from "OMG, YOU LOOK FABULOUS!" to "HAVE WE MET?"

So my blogee, friends, I ask you....what lines have you crossed??????

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Sunday, March 25, 2012

Over the Line

Today, I was clicking around on the Internet looking at all the current fashion styles.

click, click, click.....oh yeah,... click, click,.... [time is a' wasting], click, click....

This was more of an exercise on keeping up with what's going on in the world, not actually thinking I was going to buy any of the Fashion Attrocities Currently Trending.  (FACTs).  I am aware that I have crossed some type of invisible line that puts me in a "NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE" zone of fashion. In case, you are not understanding due to my poor's not that I am no longer acceptable as being a human,  but certain fashions are no longer acceptable for me to wear because I am on the far side of 30.  The very, very, very, far side of thirty.

 I guess the point is moot as there isn't any way  that I can actually pull off, without looking ridiculous, any of the FACT stuff, anyway.  It's not that I wouldn't love to be able to wear pants that have the word "Juicy" across my ass but at my age it would be perceived more creepy than cool. 

Which leads me to where was the line that I crossed that made yoga pants that looked like this, totally inappropriate?

Oddly, enough...when I was clicking my little fingers to the bone, looking for what is deemed appropriate for my age group...there is NOT ONE....NONE...NARY A... picture on the Internet to be found...... of a person past the age of 30 in any type of track suit, warm up suit, sweatpants,  NOTHING, NADA...

I am pretty confident that all 50+ year
olds have an abdomen that looks like this,
ours are just harder to locate.

Now one would think that one could find a picture of a more mature model (notice my avoidance of using the word "older") wearing a velour track suit. While I am very atypical in my aversion to velour tracksuits, as most of my age group loves them, I don't find fuzzy bright colored clothes rock my world.   Maybe not my taste, but on a good afternoon in suburbia, you could play a drinking game using velour track suits as your target.  I have to warn you Overland Park, Kansas you would be too drunk to drive after about 20 minutes.  If you remove the word "velour" and just turn the game into getting to drink each time you spot a woman in "sweats" you are going to need  to be scraped up off the pavement in less than 10 minutes.
Sweats and jeans, sweats and jeans,

But I point today is....where is the line that makes certain styles off limits based on age.

There was a time, not so long ago that women weren't supposed to wear sleeveless tops if they were of a certain age.  This "age" wasn't clearly defined but the inference was "if you were past the age of "total firmness", you were too old.   If there was any of the hangy" under arm stuff, it was strictly verboten to be donning anything that didn't cover up at that area of your flab.  Lately, everyone is feeling justified to wear sleeveless tops as Michelle Obama has set the bar high as age goes. That is to say, over 30 at least.  Thank, god her signature design choice isn't the "fascinator" as Kate Middleton Windsor's is (while I can appreciate how good they look on Kate) or we would all be looking like this:

Sorry, sleeveless is "off limits".

For you men that are currently rolling your eyes and muttering under your breath, "how stupid is this?" and "what the hell does it matter?".  You have a point...stupid it is... BUT...if I were to tell you after 30 you no longer can wear denim jeans because only young men are supposed to wear denim jeans, you would be a bit more empathetic. 


Women's jeans come in a lot of versions such as boot cut, jeggings, slim cut, straight leg, high waist, low rise....and the infinite mix of those such as "tall, bootcut, acid washed, low rise jeans for juniors adds up to a lot of decisions to be made.    It's like ordering Starbucks but the penalty of getting the order wrong is your butt is going to look really bad for the whole world to see. 

Clearly you have to decide the cut, the fit, the cost, the quality and the most important consideration is DO THEY LOOK LIKE "MOM JEANS"?????? If women just can't figure out the difference, there is a line of jeans named "It's Not Your Daughters Jeans" that sell in major department stores.  They are a little pricey but they are supposed to make us feel all trendy like our daughters are, (I guess it is presumptive that our daughters are fashionistas)  and the bonus (beside being all trendy) is our hoo haa isn't hanging out.

Again, I hear the collective "WTH...from you men out there.  I know, I are thinking " What difference does that make?"   Just go ask your, wives, your  girlfriends, and/or the girls that are friends, and they will tell you this is important. It is the fashion law that women "of a certain age" no longer  are "supposed" (highly advised not to)  wear something that looks like this:

If this was gender equality, there really should be "tall, low rise, young macho jeans" for the young guys and everyone over 30ish should be "suggested" to wear "daddy jeans".

As it is, you guys just seem to buy jeans...not age specified jeans, or "pre or post" parenting jeans...just jeans.

How you look in jeans, might be another story.

Which might require some honesty from those around you.

So off I go to find age appropriate clothing and put my feet in my Keds... while  I strive to be trendy and cool.

Thursday, March 22, 2012

Driven to Distraction

This week the "back-page and lesser reported" news items seem to have a transportion theme going on.   Rocks falling onto cars, drunks crashing cars into rehab centers and drug dealers turning SUVs into huge "come and get me" signs. Also, this week the trial is winding down for John Goodman, the founder of Polo Club Palm  Beach.  As you might remember, John is accused of driving drunk and hitting a car in which Scott Wilson was killed.  The thing that made this story unique was that John legally adopted his girlfriend so he could protect more of his money from possible  lawsuit settlements. I wrote about this strange  "daddy's girlfriend/daddy's daughter/ stepmommy/ step-sister" story in Around the Water Cooler, Feb. 2nd.

Discretion is Not in My Vocabulary

Homeland Security agents received a tip in mid December about the likelihood of a cocaine deal going on in Bellingham, Washington.  After setting up surveillance, the authorities watched as a GMC Yukon pulled into the Pizza Hut parking lot with a driver and passenger inside the vehicle.

So far, you might not think anything is amiss.  BUT wait for it...the plate on the SUV looked something like this: (OK this isn't the real plate...but it is what the real plate had on it)

You would think a drug runner would know better than to get into a car with a personalized license plate with the letters S-M-U-G-L-E-R.

If that wasn't already "a red flag" the agents followed the alleged drug dealers vehicle to the Smuggler's Inn where they proceeded to pull it over.  They found nine bricks of cocaine weighing just under 24 pounds.

One of the SUV's passenger's, Jasmin Klair, told authorities that the drugs were hers and she agreed to cooperate with their investigation.  She explained she had been given directions to book a bottom-floor room facing the Canadian border at the Smuggler's Inn.  She was to use the aliases Al Capone and DB Cooper.

Another fortuitous turn was that while Klair was being interviewed by the agents, she received a text message from two men that were the master-minds (and I use that term loosely) of the plan.  The authorities had Klair text back to meet her at the Smuggler's Inn.  Both were arrested upon their arrival.

One of the two men, Marminder Kaler, allegedly told agents that he would have received $2,000 for his part in the drug deal.  He said he really needed the money to help pay off a $325,000 debt he has due to the fact he lost 115 pounds of marijuana on a deal that he was involved with a year and a half ago.

Our hapless druggies, just made this one too easy.  Short of putting a  sign on the back window that said, "Junky on Board",  could they have done anything more to get caught?

Riding High in Aspen

Aspen resident, Jay Maytin, is happy to have his bike back after having had it stolen and MIA for one day last week. He doesn't care who took it and has no animosity toward the thief.  He was quoted as saying "I would never press charges.  All I wanted was my bike back."

Maytin got his bike returned after he noticed an article in the Aspen Times that reported that a bicycle had been left at the courthouse along with a note that said:

Sorry. I stole this bike. I rode it home. Please give it back.   - Drunk

 At first Maytin didn't make the connection.  It was only after the article described the bike in not-so-flattering terms and referred to a couple of stickers on the bike.  One of the stickers was from the Widespread Panic lyrics "Feels good to watch a big man dance".  Had to be his.


I Would Follow You Anywhere

At least three Japanese tourist would follow their GPS anywhere and proved it when they drove into a bay.  On March 15th, Yusu Noda, Tomonari Saiki and Keita Osada were vacationing in Australia when they decided to take a day trip to North Stadbroke Island. The three followed their GPS devices instructions to drive "directly" to the island across Moreton Bay foregoing the use of a road.

The three men maintained that it appeared that the bay looked passable (really???? passable???)
and defended their decision. Noda went on to say "the GPS said we could drive there." (well...OK...if the GPS said you can.)

The men, all students, had rented a Hyundai for the trip and were force to leave the car in the bay after not being able to turn the car back to shore.

Tomonari Saeki said (joking, I hope) that the car failed making it to the island because it was made in Korea. "Maybe if it was Japanese," he told the Brisbane Times, "it would have been OK."

"Just floating along in my automobile"  I see huge marketing opportunities for the newly created  Hyundai boat division.

What is Better than a Field Sobriety Test?
How do you know you have had too much to drink?  One of the sure-fire signs is when you lose control of your car on the premises of  a rehab facility.

Allegedly, Eugene, Oregon resident, Damien Bittar did just that 90 minutes after turning 21 years old.

The mishap happened at about 1:30 a.m. and luckily limited property damage to the substance abuse center Serenity Lane.  Eugene police say Bittar tried to ran away before they arrested him, KPIC reported.

Bittar was lodged at the Lane County Jail on charges of driving under the influence of intoxicants, reckless driving and second-degree criminal mischief and his 1997 Chevy Malibu was impounded.

Providing he can remember the events of the might just be the most memorable birthday Damien will ever have. 

Die Hard Bikers

A German man says people are dying for a ride in the sidecar of one of his Harleys – literally.
Joerg Grossmann said Friday that his prototype hearse for die-hard bikers who want to ride until the very end – a special sidecar fitted to his motorcycle – made its first funeral run last month.

The original's a Kawasaki but the 48-year-old from near Frankfurt says 10 of his patented Harley hearses, each costing about $78,000, are currently being assembled and will be ready later this year.
He's counting on 1,000 bookings per year in Germany alone at $1600.00, and already has a contract in Switzerland and is in talks elsewhere.

He says people are really excited about the Harley hearse: "It's something special."

How excited are we talking?  Do you want to ride badly enough to die?  Something special for sure...only the dead get to ride in it.  I think I'll pass. 

The Sky is Falling

This week in Ohio, a 25 ton boulder came loose and landed on two cars and part of a house.  Not a good start to the day.

Tuesday, March 20, 2012

Repeats and Do-Overs

Recently, an acquaintance of mine made the statement, "If I had  "it" to do all over again I would do everything exactly the same."  HHHMMMM...could that be true?  OR do they mean given the same knowledge that they had at the time they did "it ....whatever it the first place, that they would most likely repeat "it" again.

I was just over at We Work For Cheese and Nicky was weighing in on what she might say to her 16 year old self.  If you haven't ever read her blog, you should as she is super funny.

Thought #1.. The things I would tell my young self

I would have a lot to say to my 16 year old self but first I would have to convince her that I was, indeed....HER.  I just didn't become a skeptic, yesterday.  I have been perfecting my suspicious, "look at it from all angles" persona since birth.  I am sure 16 year old Cheryl is incredulous that she could have gotten THAT OLD!

Here are some of the things I would suggest to my 16 year old self as she is suspiciously eyeballing my wrinkles and thinking to herself that I could have done a much better job with moisturizers.

Ten things I would tell the 16 year old Cheryl P.  (there would of course be a gazillion things but for the sake of expediency let's just pick out a few)       

drummmmm  rooollllllll ....and ....IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER

1.  (Sidebar: At 16, I was one year away from getting engaged and 2 years away from getting married)  I would tell my 16 year old self " Go ahead and get married.  Ignore the naysayers that tell you it can't work because you are too young. They are right of are WAY too young but it will work out fine. You might want to spend less on the wedding.  You could buy a house with that same amount of money. That won't always be true.

2.  Have more fun.  Don't worry all the time and try not to be so serious.

3.  There is a little 24  store chain located only in Arkansas called Wal-Mart that has been around for about 6 years. I know that you  probably haven't even heard about yet.  When you do, buy some stock as soon as it is available.  Same goes for Apple, Google and Yahoo.  You won't hear about them for awhile as they haven't been created  yet but when they, buy, much as you can.  Oh...and buy some gold.  At around $39.00 an oz. it may not seem like a bargain, but it is.

4.  Don't take your young healthy body for granted.  You are going to get older and with age comes changes.   Get an early start on eating right and exercising. The days that you are able to wear  mini skirts and hip huggers are numbered.  You might still fit into them but they won't look good.  Gravity is not your friend.

5.  Recognize that you are going to live through thousands of trends.  Most of them amount to zip. Today's fashion is tomorrow's garbage.  Buy smart, classic and well made. 

6.  Cherish the important things like your family, friends. AND be are going to have losses. Heart breaking losses.... You aren't immortal and neither are the people you care about.

7.  Young self, you are going to have a good life...a really good life.   Be grateful for it. It could have gone the other way.  You are, also,  going to have a wonderful family...look forward to it.

8.  Pay closer attention to things.  You will have trouble remembering a lot things, both big and small,  that you will want to remember. While some of it might be chucked to a bad memory, some of it is was you weren't 100% paying attention.

9. Spend less time trying to please other people and spend more time trying to please yourself.  Worry less about what other people think of you and try to act in a manner that you can respect yourself.

10.  Recognize you are going to become the person that you now think of as ancient. You will become a  cynic, overly cautious, and have a tendency to be a bit pessimistic.  But even with those qualities in play, you are going to be happy.  You will be content with the way things are going at least up to the point of your 2012 self.   Your life will be  way less WHAAA WHAAAA

AND way more WOOT WOOT!!!!

Thought # 2 Realize you can't really go back and undo the things you did wrong and try to make peace with that.

I have made more than my share of mistakes. I don't think most of  my blunders were life changing for me or for the people around me. But who knows?  Maybe something I did, changed the course for someone else in a negative way. 

So to my adult self, I would like to think in the future, that my blunders are small.  As for the things that I shouldn't of said or done, I can't go back but I can be remorseful for my lack of sensitivity, my lack of respect or my poor judgement. 

Here's a video that is talking about serious regrets.

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Sunday, March 18, 2012

Need a Kidney, Take Mine

Thursday, we met with friends at a local Cajun "kitchen" restaurant. These 2 people (married couple) have been in our lives for nearly as long as hubby and I have been married. Even after, 40ish years, we have the absolute best time together.  

 These are the kind of friends that really are just a smidgen removed from being my  family.  The only thing that differentiates this category of friends from  being  related to me...well other than DNA, is:

A.  I might not be a perfect match if either of them needed a kidney. Still, if they needed one,  I would go get tested. I would not give them both kidneys even though I would want to.

B.  They don't have all the collective baggage resulting from the in-family fights and who-said -what-to-whom, so they can hold a long term grudge.

C. They laugh at my jokes. (safe to say my family thinks I am more weird than funny)

D. They are open to the fact that I walk "kind-of-sort-of"  in the middle as far as politics go. (which is to say socially liberal, fiscally conservative) (Note: if any of my "faithful-to-their-party" relatives are reading this...relax, take a deep breath)

E. These friends don't have to attend family events but they would be welcome.

F. They are supportive of my habit of using 4 letter words.

The reason, I am even talking about FRIENDS this morning is that I am a tad concerned that the  word "friend" is being made more and more insignificant as it is routinely applied to everyone you come into contact with.  It is diminished by it's over use.

Let's start with Facebook.  Oh no...don't you jump to the conclusion that I am a hater.  I AM NOT!!!! I think Facebook has it's place.  I do.  Reconnecting with old friends and following the "out of area" people that are in your life...great. Trying to re-establish a connection with the friends that you should have done a better job staying connected to....PERFECT.  I am all for it.  But...and you knew there would be a BUT in here....

Facebook's use, in a lot of cases, is  less about connecting with true friends and is more about
networking, advertising, posting personal preferences on what you think every one else should believe, and all manner of "less than friendly" purposes.

Still, for those of you that use it to support and console others, put funny clever little things on status updates (that would be of interest to anyone other than yourself), send out holiday and birthday wishes and the like...rah, rah for you. No harm in any of that.  The harm is when you put all your energy into thinking every person that you ask to be your friend is in the same group that would give you the aforementioned kidney.

I have heard from a number of people concerning all the angst they feel because someone de-friended them or didn't comment on one of their status updates. Are you KIDDING ME???? You are getting depressed and angry because someone didn't respond with a LOL or LMAO or some other frivolous endorsement of compliance.  If you are taking social networking  so seriously that you are fretting about "updates" or "tweets" from  people that are less connected to you than a spouse, partner or child, you need to stop. Really,  Stop, Step back and Walk away.  However, if you are depending on Facebook as your sole communication with your immediate family and they fail to respond to your status update..indeed there is a problem. (Husband, I am at the desk next to you, I assume if you need me you will talk, not tweet or poke. Am I wrong?)

Which leads me to another matter of great importance.  As I do like to see what clever little jokes, posters, anecdotes are posted on Facebook AND I find those clever one-liner Tweets on Twitter a absolute hoot...perhaps I have been  negligent by not responding often enough. Are there people out there that are losing sleep over un-acknowledged comments on my wall.  I wouldn't want to force someone into seeking a psychiatrist because I am not being a good friend or follower.

Same goes for my blog friends...when I get busy and get behind reading blogs, does that mean I get assigned  to the "BAD FRIEND" crowd?  I hope not.  If I don't agree with every thing you post, do you mentally unfriend me?  Again, I hope not.

This isn't exactly
what I look like
in person.
One of the things about the world we live in today is there are a number of friends (see there is that word again) that we meet on-line.  We wouldn't know them if we bumped into them on the street but still there is a connection.  I can tell you after 200+ blog posts and reading thousand of  other writer's blog posts, there are a number of people that I feel a real fondness..yes, fondness for.  I would hope that if we met in real life we would be friends...friends in the real sense.  The kind of friend that I would give that kidney to.  It is, unfortunately, possible that a real life meeting would torpedo the fondness, blow the imagined connection to smithereens.

So here it is my friends....

For my Facebook friends...I like you.

For my blogging friends, I may or may not always agree with you but love reading your point of view just the same.  I would like to think we would remain friends if we met in person.

To my face-to-face friends, do you need my kidney?

Just a little poem about the little nuances of being a friend:

It's just the little homey things,
The unobtrusive, friendly things,
The won't-you-let-me-help-you things
That make our pathway light,
It's just the jolly, joking things,
"The-never-mind-the-trouble things,
The laugh-with-me, it's funny" things,
That make the world seem bright.

For all the countless famous things,
The wondrous, record-breaking things,
Those "never-can-be-equalled" things
That all the papers cite,
Aren't like the little human things,
The everyday-encounter things,
The "just-because-I-like-you" things,
That make us happy quite.

So here's to all the simple things,
The dear "all-in-a-day's-work" things,
The "smile-and-face-your-troubles" things,
Trust God to put them right!
The "done-and-then-forgotten" things,
The "can't-you-see-I-love-you" things,
The hearty "I-am-with-you" things,
That make life worth the fight.


Thursday, March 15, 2012

Weekly Shenanigans

This week was a bumper crop of "chat worthy" news.  In fact, this week some of the front page news,  had tongues wagging.  Executive Director, Greg Smith posted a very public resignation letter that said that his employer, Goldman Sachs, put profit before people.  Who would of guessed????? (you get the dripping sarcasm here, huh???)  I am shocked to think that any financial institution is putting profits above the welfare of their investors.  (Still sarcasm, in case you're not following along.)  In part of his letter he said:

'To put the problem in the simplest terms, the interests of the client continue to be sidelined in the way the firm operates and thinks about making money.'.....How did we get here? The firm changed the way it thought about leadership. Leadership used to be about ideas, setting an example and doing the right thing. Today, if you make enough money for the firm (and are not currently an ax murderer) you will be promoted into a position of influence.

Well, see aren't you feeling murders don't work there.


Ohio Student Is in Hot Water

Technically, I guess, I should say he is NOT going to be in hot water as the University of Ohio is making him remove his 211 gallon, heated, jetted,  hot tub from his dorm room.  Kevin Lenahan, OU senior installed a hot tub in his  second story dorm room but after the administration got wind of it, they have told him to remove it.

For more than a month,(or 31 pool parties) Kevin and his fellow dorm mates have been enjoying the benefits of having an on-site spa but all of that is coming to an end. Not entirely without a fight, however.

Kevin maintains he did the necessary research prior to installing the tub.  He read the housing handbook and talked his resident assistant.  While the handbook does limit the size of small appliances, the heater of the offending tub is no larger than that of a coffee maker.

The university did give Kevin a list of  safety and health related reasons why they won't allow the hot tub to stay.  Things such as water leaks, heater malfunction that could result in a fire, humidity damage to the room, and the cost of the electricity to run the tub were given as some of the issues.

Kevin did comply and removed the tub...for now.  He is filing an appeal.

I am shocked....really, shocked that anyone would actually read the housing handbook.  Housing Handbook, The Sequel is being printed as we speak. 

No Child Left Behind...Well, maybe a couple

A person is left to wonder if the Chuck E. Cheese has something equivalent to the Bermuda Triangle. 
In less than a week, not one but two children have been accidentally left at Chuck's pizzeria.
The first incident happened in Maryland when a 3 year old named Harmony  was attending a birthday party.  Her parents were in both in attendance and have shared custody of the little girl. 

It wasn't until the little girl's parents, saw Harmony on the 11 o'clock news, that they realized that the girl was left behind at the Bel Air, Md. restaurant.  Both parents had been under the mistaken impression that the OTHER parent was taking Harmony home.  (Lesson one in parenting: Never assume anything)

Yet just days later, a 5 year old in Pearland, TX is left behind by a mother with 10 children. In this case the "forgotten child" is also the "birthday girl".  Not likely a birthday that will be forgotten anytime soon. The mother didn't notice the girl's absence until the following morning when she was getting the other children up to get ready for school.   A full nine hours after the party, the mother called 911 to report her missing child.

The explanation (is there, truly, an explanation?) was that there was a crowd of people at the party. There were 19 children and 9 adults which accounted for a lot of chaos. 

WOW...never say never...I am trying to figure out any instance that I wouldn't do a head count on my kids, but then counting to two, I guess is different than counting to ten.  Still...even with the distraction of the Whack-a-Mole game calling my name, I just can't imagine not missing a kid for 9 hours. 

It hurt, it really, really hurt

A cop who was arrested for assaulting his live-in girlfriend claimed that the victim had attacked him with a Justin Bieber doll during a confrontation in the couple’s Colorado home. Michael Nuanes described his girlfriend as the aggressor in the incident.  Nuanes, a Denver Police Department officer, told deputies that his girlfriend had “thrown things, pushed him, shoved him, grabbed him, bit him, slapped him with an open hand, attempted to strangle him and beat him up.” (wordy guy, don't you think?)

According to the report, Nuanes  pointed out a Justin Bieber doll that he claimed was the item used to injure him.” He claimed  that a thrown Bieber doll--the size of a standard Barbie doll--left him with a “bruise on the outside middle part” of his left foot.  According to him "It hurt".  (not so wordy, more concise).

the perpetrator

the weapon

When cops interviewed the 42-year-old victim, she reported that Nuanes picked a fight with her over “ultimatums” that included her changing her Facebook status to indicate that she was in a relationship with Nuanes.

During a subsequent tussle, the woman told deputies, Nuanes grabber her by the hair, threw her to the ground, and punched her in the ribs. A deputy photographed the victim’s injuries, which included bruises on her head, back, arm, and chest.

 Can I just say that this guy is a big ole cry baby...but I have to wonder about the girl friend as well.  What is up with the Bieber doll???

Bibbity Bobbity Boo or something close

This back page story caught my eye this week although I gather that Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop has been in the news before.  How I could have missed it with my nose for the bizarre, I do not know. 
Beezow Doo-Doo Zopittybop-Bop-Bop,  was arrested on charges of carrying a concealed weapon, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana and a violation of probation in Madison, Wisc. His arrest was prompted by a call to authorities by his neighbors that complained of his excessive drinking and drug use.

 Zopittybop-Bop-Bop was born Jeffrey Drew Wilschke, according to court records.  He legally changed his name to Beezow Doo-Doo Zoopittybop-Bop-Bop in October. (who wouldn't want the name Beezow Doo-Doo Zoppitybop-Bop Bop?)

Doesn't he look vaguely familiar???

According to Zopittybop-Bop-Bop's apparent Facebook account, when he's not in trouble with the law he enjoys activities including "eating," "standing," walking," "thinking," and "diamond." He's also single... so there's that.

 I have no words...speechless....I think Beezow used up all the possible letters.

When Time Is On Your Side

 It took 100 years for one B.C. man to tarnish his perfect driving record.

The centenarian was stopped for speeding in a school zone Tuesday, a shock to a traffic officer in the Victoria suburb of Saanich when she saw the 1911 birthdate on a driver’s licence, which was good for another five years.

The traffic officer pulled over the 100-year-old driver in a Buick Century when he was spotted going 50 kilometres an hour in a school zone, where the limit is 30 kilometres an hour.

The man had a flawless driving record, so the traffic officer gave him a warning ticket.

“I was shocked, not only at the 100 years of age, but the brand new five-year renewal driver licence,” said Const. Janice Carmena.

I wonder if the cop asked "What's your hurry?"  Lot's of possible answers when your 100, I would think.