Wednesday, March 30, 2011

There is NO NEWS in Kansas

 Yesterday, I was listening to the 5:00 local news as I usually do. It started in the normal manner. First a few headlines about traffic, then a little about weather, then things got weird.  The next FOUR news stories were all out of Florida.  This wouldn't be odd if I lived in Florida, I suppose.  The fact that I live in Kansas made it feel a little surreal. 

Did I accidentally step  into some space and time warp kind of thing and I am now in Florida?

Did Kansas run completely out of news of any kind and had to borrow?

Are Kansas and Florida playing tag and Kansas just yelled, YOUR IT?

I am not sure why we are running just Florida news but here are some news stories if you aren't lucky enough to have your state borrowing from FL. too.  (Sorry, to my Florida readers, as this probably isn't news to you. The next time Kansas acts up and has something to talk about you can borrow from us.  You shouldn't have to wait long.  We have people acting badly here pretty regularly)

The First Story-----Aide Locks Reporter in Closet During Fundraiser

  An aid to Joe Biden locked a reporter from the Orlando Sentinel into a closet  for hours during a fundraiser to keep him from interacting with the guests.  The fund raiser was a $500 a-head  dinner to raise money for the 2012 elections.

Spokeswoman Elizabeth Alexander said the decision to hold the local reporter, Scott Powers, was a mistake.

As the unaware  invitees dined on caprese crostini with oven-dried mozzarella and basil, rosemary flatbread with grapes honey and Gorgonzola cheese, grilled chicken Caesar and garden vegetable wraps, last week, the veteran reporter was locked away. They let him out to listen to Vice President Biden  and Sen. Bill Nelson speak and escorted him back into the closet for the duration of the event.

The event was held at the Winter Park, FL home of Alan Ginsburg, who was shocked when he found out of the reporter's situation. 

Note:  One of the interesting things about this is, while Scott was in the closet he emailed his office with
"It sounds like a nice party out there".  REALLY, how calm is this guy?  Most people would have been losing their minds. 

Read more:

The Second Story---- Teen Pistol Whips Mother to Get New Car

A teenaged girl, Rachel Anne Hachero, threatened to kill her mother after she refused to buy her a car.
Rachel had her eye on a 2004 Nissan 350Z that her mother wasn't willing to purchase, so the girl took a stronger tact.  She confronted her mother with a 9mm gun, pistol whipped her head, and then pointed the gun at her threatening to shoot if she didn't cooperate.   The daughter forced her mother to the Fort Myers, FL Nissan dealership to sign for the car.

The mother has been quoted as not wanting to press charges as her daughter is an Ivy League college, hopeful and this might hurt her future. (my guess is, oh yeah, it will be a deterrent for sure)

Police say that the mother had found the gun, drugs, and drug paraphernalia in her daughter's purse.  (Hey, mom, how many clues do you need to figure out you have a problem child on your hands?)

Third Story--- Bikini Brawl

A bikini clad spring breaker that had placed an order at the Panama City Burger King started a riot when she jumped onto the counter and started swinging at the food prep employees while yelling that her order was taking too long.

(I guess when you want fast food, you want the food FAST)

The restaurant quickly turned into a massive food fight with other spring breakers throwing objects all over the restaurant. 

The events were caught on someone's cell phone.  (cell phone cams are not  the best but you will get the gist of it)

Kemesia Smith, the impatient riot starter, was arrested and charged with battery.

The Forth Story... Woman Falls Into Sink Hole

A Plant City woman,  47-year-old Carla Chapman,  was walking in her backyard Monday when she fell after the ground caved in underneath her feet. The hole was about 24 inches wide.

Champman, luckily was carrying her cell phone and was able to call for help. In the on-camera news report, it was stated that she had some trouble getting a cellular signal which added to the time that  it took to free her.
Responding officers were able to pull her out of the hole and she was transported to an area hospital. She is listed in stable condition.

NOTE:  This is where that commercial "Can you hear me now?" takes on a whole new meaning.

There you have it.  The Kansas City, Kansas news. 

Florida, we owe you some news when you are having a slow news day. 

Thanks for sharing. 

PS   We love your winter weather.  Feel free to share that with us, also.

The Good for the Day....  the reporter accepted everyone's apology.  Doesn't this man sound really nice.

The Bad for the Day....Two very bad girls misbehaving.

The Weird for the day.... woman gets caught under a 300 pound Eagle Ray

Just to keep the Florida theme going here.

Miami (CNN) -- A Florida woman said she went into "survival mode" when a huge eagle ray weighing as much as 300 pounds landed on top of her on a boat in the Florida Keys, throwing her to the deck and pinning her underneath it. With the help of her husband and sons, she was able to slide out from under the massive creature that was about 8 feet across with a 10 foot tail.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Do You Not See a Problem Here?

Are you wondering where the white line to the right of my driver's side door is???? (as you face the front of my red SUV) What  line you say?  You know....the one that is supposed to define what parking space is "mine" versus what parking space is "yours".

Guess...go ahead and venture a guess....

The white line is under the tires of that Chevy Malibu.  You will just have to take my word for it, but that is where it is.

I came out of the hair salon to find my vehicle had developed a close up and personal relationship with a white Chevy.  HHMM
What to do, what to do???

There is no way to squeeze in the driver's door as the space between the mirrors is about 4 inches.  I can't crawl in the passenger side because the console of my vehicle is pretty high and if I get stuck that would be embarrassing.  Can't go through the back for a couple of reasons. A.  The headrests are way too high to allow me over the seats and the back seat has 2 baby seats strapped in.

Next course of action.  I am parked in front of a sandwich shop, a nail salon, a hair salon, and a Chinese restaurant, Which shall I go to first? 

Nail Salon...Anyone in here drive a white Malibu?  This is where people become idiots.
One women asks?  "What color is it?" (pay attention, I just said WHITE)
"White", I say. 
"I drive a beige Impala."
(Is she purposefully, trying to piss me off?)  No, I need the owner of a WHITE MALIBU.

Deli....Does anyone in here own a white Malibu?  I can assume not as everyone is looking at me like I have personally offended them by interrupting their fine dining experience at Lenny's Sub Shop

Hair Salon.....Wouldn't you know that this is one of those salons where each stylist has their own little room.
Damn, this is not going to be easy.  As luck would have it, I found the crappy parker person in the 2nd room I went to.  She seemed annoyed that I was interrupting her day of beauty.  (don't I feel bad about that? That would be a NO)

She follows me out to the car and says.  "I guess I got a little to close.  I suppose you can't get in, huh?"

In this particular situation, I tried to be kind because the woman was "older" and clearly she had no business driving.  The stylist followed her out and was extremely nervous about her client trying to back out without hitting my car.  So "older" lady got a pass as far as me saying anything to her about her total lack of parking skills. 

Here are my two thoughts for Tuesday.

A.  If you are going to drive a car, pay attention to your surroundings.  That is both when the car is moving and when it is not.
B.  If you can not get a grasp on where you and your car are, don't drive.

The Good for the Day.....No damage done.

The bad for the Day......I wasted about an hour that I needed to be else where, because someone was inconsiderate.

The Weird for the day....I was looking around at some of the web sites and blogs that just deal with bad drivers....well more specifically...bad parkers and came across (Sharenator guys, thanks for sharing) They had a bunch of pictures of notes left on peoples cars.  I guess it could have been worse. The lady could have hit my car and left a note like this.

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Monday, March 28, 2011

Were You Not Listening?

March 28th,

Dear Mother Nature,

I am sending this in hopes that you might be able to help me with a "situation" I am having with a couple of your seasons.  Specifically, Winter was supposed to vacate and allow Spring to move into my yard. However, that is not the case. 

I did send out a brief message last week to Spring.  I noted in that complaint  that March 20th has come and gone and yet there seems to be a problem with her showing us her "Springyness".  I am not trying to be unreasonable here. A couple of weeks ago, she sent out 70 and 80 degree weather, which caused my forsythia and my magnolia trees to bud and BLOOM.  They were ( did you get the past tense of the word were) covered in flowers.  Now, a full week later, she has let Winter come in here and wreak havoc.  I find their bait and switch tactics unacceptable. 

I have enclosed a picture of my poor magnolia tree.  Let me note that I took that picture several hours ago.  Since then, there have been a couple of inches of accumulated snow.  What are you prepared to do about this? Really, this needs to stop immediately. 

I feel like I have been a good sport in dealing with both you and Winter this year.  Your funny joke of dumping 43 inches of snow on Kansas City (when the average snowfall should be around 22 inches per season), did not go unnoticed.  I scooped and salted without saying a word but enough is enough.  I implore you to KNOCK IT OFF, ALREADY!

I am awaiting a prompt resolution to this matter.

More than a little irritated,

Cheryl P.

PS  If this is a problem with timing, I am totally prepared to send a complaint to Father Time.  Is this really necessary? 

cc  Spring

Sunday, March 27, 2011

Let's Cooperate

S.W.I.F.T Air  (anagram for, shit we're in flippin trouble)  has a plane approaching Major City, and is calling the tower to get clearance to land.

RIIIIINNNNGGGG...... voice mail picks up ..."Hello, you have reached Major City airport's control tower. We are unable to take your call right now.  However, your call is very important to us ....please, leave a message at the sound of the beep".....BBBEEEPPPP

It could happen....

This week's incident, two planes coming into Reagan National Airport in Washington DC were unable to reach the control tower to get a clearance for landing.  The first plane coming in was an American Flight 1012 which is a Boeing 737. It  had 91 passengers and 6 crew members  on board, but was unable to make contact with the  air traffic controller. 

The pilot radioed a nearby FAA facility in Warrenton, VA.  FAA, also, tried numerous times to contact the air traffic controller at the Reagan tower.  STILL NO ANSWER.

As, I am sure most of you have followed this story and  know that everything worked out fine in the end.  Both the American Flight 1012 and United Airlines Flight 628T, an Airbus, landed safely. After taking steps to make sure their air space was clear they landed without the help of the tower's controller.  It turns out that the traffic controller had fallen asleep.

I am a bit conflicted (as usual).   I think the pilots did exactly what they needed to do. Of course, the talk shows are having "experts" with alternate points of view weighing in on  how it "should" have been handled. Both planes landed safely, isn't that the important part?

The pilots were  trained professionals that took all the necessary precautions to land safely.  The first pilot going in (The AA pilot) was communicating with other planes in the area and the FAA so he knew there weren't other planes in his descent path.  The only problem is he had no way of knowing if anything was sitting on the runway.  Thank you very much, SLEEPY.

My problem is that I feel that the air traffic controllers that are up in the tower ALONE are put in an unsafe position.   There are a lot of "what ifs".   I can imagine sitting up in a quiet tower with long stretches of nothing happening, a person could fall asleep. (I am not saying that's right, or acceptable or anything along those lines.)   AND what about the little human inconveniences of  having to eat, drink and use the bathroom.  Maybe he wasn't asleep but had severe diarrhea.  Maybe, he is just saying he nodded off because it sounds better than "I had just crapped in my pants and was trying to clean myself up".

The thing is...had there been a second person there, whatever was going on wouldn't have mattered so much.

As I was researching the whole "air traffic control" issue, I ran across some interesting stuff.  Most of the articles cite facts and figures pertaining to issues such as controllers being over worked,  over stressed, working in under manned towers, and  the shortage of quality controllers.  I did happen to notice a few that were some what more entertaining though.

Conversations that have been recorded between the pilots and the air traffic controllers: I have no idea how true the first two are but I found them listed on several aviation themed web sites. Who knows?? Kind of funny though.

Here's one...

The tower at the small but busy airport in Sarasota, FL is open from 6AM until 10PM but most of the traffic is during the daylight hours.  In 1975 there was a National flight that came in every night at about 8:30PM. One of the regular pilots of this flight was a jokester.  On a particular night a controller that was in communication with the flight coming in from Tampa heard:

Pilot:  Sarasota Tower, National 123 with you..........guess where?"

The Controller: (presumably after making sure there was no other traffic) turned off the tower lights, then replied "National 123- Sarasota tower.....guess where?"

The Pilot:  (after a period of around 15 seconds) Sarasota Tower, this is National Flight 123 from Tampa we are exactly 10.3 DME on the 300 degree radial, inbound for landing."

The Controller (turning the lights back on)  You are clear to land.


Tower:   "TWA 2341, for noise abatement turn right 45 Degrees.”

Pilot:     “Centre, we are at 35,000 feet. How much noise can we make up here?”

Tower:  "Sir, have you ever heard the noise a 747 makes when it hits a 727?”

Here's a little video dealing with the more from a passengers point of view.

The Good...I have great faith in pilots.  I was in an emergency landing a few years ago and while it scared me sh******.the pilots, remained calm and told us what was happening.  Big thumbs up to the guys that can fly and LAND  a plane.

The Bad....The glitches.  All the things that occasionally go wrong. Especially when they result in death or injury.

The Weird..... I spotted an article in the Kansas City Star that the guy that got suspended last year (around March) for letting his 9 year old direct traffic at JFK is returning to work.  That isn't the weird part.  The paper says he is returning after a year of paid suspension.
Can that be right?  He got a year off with pay????

Friday, March 25, 2011

Let's Meet at the Water Cooler (again)

TGIF ...It's Friday, again, my blogee friends.

Let's meet at the water cooler and take a much deserved break... (as you might remember from last Friday, it will be our on-going task to take "casual" Friday down to "slothful" Friday.  Anything more difficult than sitting, talking, eating or breathing is putting forth way too much effort.

What are this week's chit-chat worthy stories?  HHUUUMMM.....what shall we talk about today??

Well, there is the Denver medical marijuana dispensary that is giving a free pre-rolled marijuana cigarette to anyone that is qualified  and brings in 4 cans of food  for  the local food bank.

Urban Cannabis is going to be giving away a ton of joints for a ton of food.  This offer is going to run till April 20th or until they have reached their goal of 2000 pounds.  So far they have only collected 330 cans of food. (Well..really...they just started...let's give it a chance.)

Amy Dulullo, sales director of Urban Cannabis, said they aren't doing any advertising other than word of mouth but she expects the food drive to pick up momentum when the word gets out.  

I have no idea how the Colorado qualification process works but I am pretty sure that if  some of the other state's residents could qualify for some of those free joints, there would be people lined up  for miles to get some of Urban Cannabis' premium blend, Chem Dawg.  There would be 18 wheelers haulin can goods to Denver as we speak.  I wonder if they have a limit per customer?  If not,  one qualified person with a semi could land themselves all 2000 joints. 

Another something we could discuss:

Oh, also, in the news.....David Schubert, the Chief Deputy District Attorney of Las Vegas, was arrested after police witnessed an alleged drug transaction.  Seems that David picked up a drug dealer, Raymond Streeter,  who upon his arrest said he had been selling crack cocaine to Schubert for  7-8 months. 

Turns out the Chief Deputy DA Schubert, who got some media attention for prosecuting Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars for cocaine possession, has his own problems. (being a hypocrite, for one thing)  When David's car was searched, he not only had some rock cocaine, he also was in possession of  semi-automatic handgun,  2 boxes of bullets and 2 magazines of ammunition.

District Attorney, David Rogers said he thought this was a shame as this is the person he has had assigned to the Federal Drug Task Force for the last 2 years.   He went on to say "His future is bleak with the district attorney's office."  (no kidding, ya think this might hurt his chance for a promotion?)

Just a thought...he should hire David Chesnoff, the attorney that represented both Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars.  Mr. Chesnoff got both of his clients off with just  probation.  They didn't have all the guns and ammo though.  Not looking good for the Chief.

I know some of you are tired of this one, but a few new happenings in Charlie's world.

A few new updates in the Charlie Sheen antics.  I know you all say you are sick of him but he keeps adding sold out venues for his tour so obviously somebody out there is interested.. (I am just the messenger.  Don't want you not to be in the loop.)  He now has over 20 shows lined up.

This week he is moving out of Sober Valley Lodge and moving into a house he bought 2 doors down from Paris Hilton.  This should be interesting.  Charlie and the Goddesses can have rock parties...oh, I mean block parties, and borrow white powdery substances like sugar and "such" from each other.  I bet the neighbors in that community are  really excited about getting some new fun neighbors.

Also, CBS has come out with news that they are opening negotiations to get Charlie back on the set of "Two and a Half Men". When the figures came out how much money that show was hauling in, it inspired a whole new attitude.  That attitude is one of forgiveness and tolerance.    I guess that little video of Donald Trump telling us that you can behave any way you want if you have a hit show is turning out to be true.   Crap, I hate when Trump is proven right.

Last but not least for this week

The domain name sex (dot) com has sold.  It is being reported in some news releases it sold for $14 Million while others are saying $13 Million.  Either way  it sold for a WHOLE LOT OF DOUGH!  (notice I did not type it with the . because I know how some of you are.) Didn't want to lose you with a click. Stay focused!!!

OK, now we can all get back to our computers and waste some more of our work day. Let's find us some domain names that will sell for MILLIONS of dollars down the road.  Surely there are a few bad, nasty, interesting words that no one has thought to dot com yet. 

The good for the day.....Spring has arrived.

The bad for the day...... Spring, I am talking to's past March 20th...straighten up and act like SPRING.

The Weird for the Day......Chris Brown was sent to anger management classes as part of his sentencing after assaulting his "then" girlfriend, Rihanna.  This week he was upset with a Good Morning America interview and threw a chair into a window. The broken window splintered down onto a pedestrian sidewalk, although no one was injured.    I think, whoever Chris paid  for those anger management classes, needs to give him  a full refund.  They didn't work.

Speaking of Bruno Mars....He can be our entertainment today. 

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Who Needs a Suitcase?

I was listening to the world news the other evening and an interesting (in a sick, gross kind of way) story came on.  It was about a California man that had been arrested  and jailed on a narcotics conviction. It turns out that the man was hiding some contraband on his person.  Well....actually IN his person.  The investigating officers that did a strip search found a Kyocera cell phone, an MP3 player, ear bud headphones, marijuana, tobacco and $140 in cash.  

The strip search and cell inspection were done because a jailer detected the smell of marijuana.  Here's the interesting part.  The jailed man smuggled his illicit items into jail via his rectum.  Ouch!  When asked if he was in pain, he said no, but he did say that his a** was bleeding.  (no wonder, with it being made into a prison convenience store and all)

I found it equally interesting...well ...maybe not equally...that the personnel were quoted as "wondering how he planned to charge the cell phone".  Really, guys, that is what you are wondering???? Also, you might want to double check to make sure there isn't a missing charger up someone's hoo ha.

Now if that wasn't the most bizarre story I had heard of in a while when I get a "share" on Facebook from one of my "funniest ever" friends telling me about a women in Scranton, PA who was taken into custody after robbing the Dunnmore Inn then crashing her car.  (there are probably a ton of jokes to be made with the Dunnmore reference and this lady but I won't take the time today) Again, upon a search at the police station the officer found 54 bags of heroin, 31 empty bags used to package heroin, eight prescription pills, and $51.22 in cash  up her vagina.  I find this amazing!!! (kind of gives new meaning to the phrase "delivering a controlled substance" doesn't it?)

Two stories within two days, had me wondering .... "How common is this?"  More common than a person might think. After doing a little research, I found a virtual cornucopia of "smuggling" stories, although the sheer quantity of goods contributed to these two, kind of make them the super stars of "orifice packing" convicts.

I am thinking when these two get out of jail, they really need to meet each other.  Sounds like they might share some similar interests and hobbies.  They might really be "made for each other."  I, also, had the thought that they might be able to travel the world and add to their already accounted for $199.22.  Just think of all the baggage fees they could save if they continue their current packing habits.

If you are wanting to look this particular stories up here are some links for you.  If these links don't open, just copy and paste into your browser.

Just when you thought things couldn't get stranger, THEY DID.

The good for the day.... I am thankful not to be either of these two cell-ebrities.

The bad for the day.... The poor people that were the chosen  "strip searchers"

The Weird for the day....Self explanatory.  Just doesn't get any weirder than this.

Today's video asks the question as posed by our "locked (into a cell) and loaded" losers to the jail personnel....

Question:    Do You Want to Touch Me?
Answer:     That would be NO. NOT THERE!!!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

It's a Figure of Speech

While reading the Sunday edition of the Kansas City Star, I noticed an article about an unfortunate accident involving a person accidentally shooting himself. 

If you are unable to read the text:  Basically it is about a man taking a class to get a concealed gun permit.  He inadvertently tried to unholster his weapon with his left hand (being right handed) and shot himself.  He died from the injury.

Note:  I removed the actual names of the people from the articles in a modest attempt to protect their identity. I, personally, feel bad for the guy to have this act of stupidity be part of his eulogy.  I tend to worry that I will do something really stupid that is going to result in a really bad obit.

Anyway, back to the point of today's post....
The reason this story stood out to me was that directly opposite it on the next page (pretty much even with it horizontally) was another article.

Note:   If you are unable to read this one, let me give you a synopsis.  This person is writing to the editorial page that encourages people to get concealed weapons in an effort to insure their safety.  His thought is that you can't rely 
on the police or security to act quickly
 enough to help.

At this point the title: Guns Ensure Safety doesn't seem right.

Today's post isn't about taking a stand on concealed weapons.   I have already established in past posts that I don't have a gun and probably shouldn't be allowed to have one as clutzy as I am.  Besides, my house is armed with dust and cat hair. With any luck at all my intruders will have asthma or at the very least allergies.  Even if they don't have a severe asthma attack, (but let's hope they do) perhaps the fit of sneezing will give me ample warning to get out of the house.

Today's post is, "has there ever been a better example of irony?"

I would suspect that when the writer of the "editorial" letter, saw it's placement in the paper, he was less than pleased. I would guess he wasn't debating whether it fits the definition of irony as much as it certainly fits the definition of unfortunate. (at least as far as him making a case for concealed weapons ensuring personal safety)

For me I was left wondering if this really is an example of irony?

Or is it a paradox???

Or is it an antithesis???

Or is it satire???

The actual definition and proper use for irony seems to have everyone confused. In fact, one of the web sites that has examples of  an ironic phrase used this one:

Irony is the fact that most people don't understand the definition of irony. 

One more figure of speech for today. Here is a hyperbole for you.

This momma kitty is working her kitty butt off.

The Good for the day.....Spring is getting nearer. 

The Bad for the Day....The sad things that are happening in the world.

The Weird for the day...This weird for the day has absolutely nothing to do with today's topic. But I can't believe I am just now hearing about the Chris Farley look alike baby??  I try to keep informed on important current events.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

Crack in a Can

While I am not going out on tour with my "coming off of an addiction" antics, I am none the less feeling a bit deprived right now as I am trying to wean my body off of a substance my body CRAVES.   Besides, how could I top a tour name like "My Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour"?  That just doesn't leave much room for improvement.

You might have noticed in an earlier post, I mentioned that I was sitting watching TV with a CAFFEINATED beverage.  My current AM "get me goin"  beverage is tea but that is ONLY  because I am trying to kick the diet soda addiction that I have.   I hesitate to say I am drinking a diet soda at 6:00 AM as it tends to make some people nauseated....especially you coffee snobs that think coffee is the only legitimate morning beverage.

It seems over the last decade or so, every food or beverage item that I absolutely can not resist has some sort of health warning attached to it.  The tasty few that don't actually have warnings seem to have calories. A lot of calories.  Either way, I need to stay away from them.

So last March, after reading "yet" another article about how diet colas aren't good for us, I decided to wean myself off of them.  In theory, it shouldn't be that difficult.  I mean it's not like I can't drink water, tea, or something else if I am thirsty.  Franky, there is just something special about diet sodas.   One brand in particular is like "crack in  a can" for me. 

Because, I am disparaging the use of diet sodas, I won't throw it "out there" my brand of choice.  I would wager that the company would be less than thrilled with me talking negatively about their calcium leaching, esophagus corroding  phosphoric acid,  or their questionable  cancer causing,  insulin spiking artificial sweeteners.  But,  if it is any consolation, my dear cola manufacturers, I find your product YUMMY. If you could do some sort of study that shows some undiscovered health benefits, I am prepared to drink your product in lieu of meals. 

I haven't quite figured out what is in there to cause this "must have" dependency but everyone that I have talked to that is a multi-can user, agrees this is an addiction. 

I know the last remnants of cocaine were removed from cola drinks in 1929 (or were they?) but I am not absolutely sure what other ingredients in there might have an addictive effect. Perhaps caffeine is the culprit or maybe it's the salt.

I am sure you (especially some of you non-soda imbibers) think I am exaggerating the "must have" effect of this. I assure you, I am not!!!

 A number of years ago, I tried to kick the habit and after three days of hell decided it wasn't worth it. Also, at that point in my life, I had far fewer concerns as to the "leaching of calcium from my bones" issue.   Hubby and I went to Germany in the late 1980s  for a couple of weeks.  We were staying in Munich at an American hotel chain that did have soda machines.  However, they only contained sweetened soda.  No diet products. Once you are hooked on the diet variety, there is no going back.   I didn't want to come across as "difficult"  so I decide, I'll just drink water.  (in most places in Germany that would be tepid water) I gave it a shot but  that was not doing it for me.  By day three, I had a headache from which I was ready to die. 

We had already lined up a rental car to drive to Austria for the day, so I took a few headache remedies and off we go.  Unfortunately, I was getting sicker by the minute.  Head pounding, stomach queasy...BUT as luck would have it.....  As we approached the Austrian border, I see an ALDI store. 
ALDI is based out of Germany but they sell a lot of American products. Kudos to ALDI! 

Hubby being the white knight he is, makes a gallant gesture to buy me a diet soda.  I wish this blog interface supported a picture of me doing cartwheels.  WEEEEEEE

After purchasing a case of diet cola (my favorite brand no less) a Styrofoam cooler and some ice. The only thing can could have been better than having that case of cola, would have been if ALDI had beer bongs for sale (well...technically cola bongs). None the less, I made do.  After inhaling a few cans, I was good to go. 

Now, for all you nay-sayers that arent' thinking that it was cola deprivation making me ill, I am here to tell you are very wrong. By the time we hit Salzburg, I had added a new verse to "These are a Few of My Favorite Things".   I would take diet cola over blue satin sashes any day of the week. Really Julie A. what were you thinking?

All the same, as of last March (2010) I have made a point to limit my sodas to just a couple each week.  (compared to the 4 or 5 daily) So after suffering through the initial withdrawal symptoms (neither fun nor pretty) I managed to get to the point a 12 pack can last a 6 weeks.  Now that I am a  "user" that is in semi-recovery, I continue to try to reach for healthier options. Who knows, there may be a day that I can drive by a Sonic drive through and not feel the pull. The only thing better than a can of diet cola is 44 OUNCES of diet cola. 

 I am trying to stay optimistic though. Studies are being conducted all the time. Green tea with it's EGCG is being touted as the super beverage.   Too bad it tastes like dirt. We found out the antioxidants in  red wine is good for our hearts and there is even a case being made for beer because of Xanthhohumol and vitamin B6 will lessen the likelihood of strokes. (of course having alcohol intolerance, pretty much makes those useless to me)  OK, I am back to drinking water, how dull. I can only hope that some morning I will turn on the news and hear:

"A new study has found an amazing health benefit  related to drinking diet cola: Diet Colas make you immortal."

The Good for the Day....Iced tea is a fairly decent substitute (too bad, I like those little pink packets of sweetener)

The Bad for the day....Still it doesn't have the fizz. 

The Weird for the day....I hate the books that talk about using cola for cleaning drains or for kicks dropping a nail in a cup of cola and watching is disintegrate.  They really know how to hurt a girl.

It is NOT the sugar...It's the FIZZZZZZZ

Friday, March 18, 2011

Meet Me at the Water Cooler on Friday

Let's all pretend we are working together today the same office.  It's casual Friday. The boss is out of the office.  We collectively have decided we are not going to accomplish anything productive.

In fact, we are going to perfect "screwing around".  This, too, can become an art form.

What shall we talk about??

Well, there's the third release of Vanessa Hudgen's nudey pictures.  This time she is nude and making out with a girl co-star.  As of yesterday, she is saying she is shocked.  She doesn't know where these pictures are coming from.  I may be conflicted but I am not stupid.  How shocked can she be?  She had to of known when you are taking pictures naked with a co-star, they will get "out".  (by the way, let's put her on our "bus heading for the cliff" for being less than forthright.)

Then there is the Gilbert Godfrey fallout.  For his "over the line" tweets that were highly inappropriate during a tragic event, there seems to be some controversy.  There are a number of comedians that are coming to his defense, saying that this is what comedians do.  That Godfrey's form of comedy always was offensive and therefore expected. (guess if you are in the habit of being an ass it allows you to get a pass for being an ass)  Never the less, Bob Saget, Joan Rivers,  and Whoopi Golberg to name a few, felt that it wasn't fair for AFLEC to fire the man for being exactly who he has always been.  I did find it interesting that when Whoopi was on the View discussing how she felt that being AFLEC knew when they hired him he was a putz (my word, not hers)  why did they expect that he wouldn't be inappropriate. she read the offensive tweets some of the audience laughed.  Some people are NUTS.

While these comedians can discuss how it was Godfey's schtick to be this inappropriate, I guess that AFLEC has the right to employ or not someone who is not representing them in the way they want to be represented.

Then there is the "he who I won't name" (but his initials are CS).  I got a couple  rather harsh "tongue lashing"  comments from a couple of blogees, saying they "WERE SICK TO DEATH" of hearing about you-know-who.  But you-know-who sold out, not one, but two venues (Chicago and Detroit)  for a tour called the Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour. Then went on to add  "performances" in Cleveland, Columbus,  two shows in New York City, Wallington, CT, Atlantic City and Boston.  These ticket go between $79.50 and $519 or you can get a Meet and Greet ticket for $750.    There may be a few blogees that don't ever want to hear his name but there are some ticket buyers with deep pockets that are fine with it.

Last and certainly the least  this week, we are hearing about how poor Michaele Salahi who is  making the rounds,  feels betrayed and humiliated after being booted out of Celebrity Rehab.  Dr. Drew kicked her off of the next cast as he made the determination that she isn't an addict but she is a drama queen.  Yes, that is pretty much what he said.  She is on various media venues crying (literally) that she feels betrayed.  WTF !! Did it not occur to her that Celebrity Rehab requires that she be addicted to something.  Well...besides stupidity ...and trying to climb up the fame ladder in hooker heels.  One last thought.  Isn't appearing on Celebrity Rehab just basic training for being humiliated. 

OK, that should keep us from getting any work done for awhile.  Besides it's almost lunch time.  Let's take a long lunch today.

Talk to you later blogees.

Oh, if you think of any other frivolous stuff  we can talk about at the water cooler today tweet me @veryconflicted or email me at

The good for the day...Hopefully, tomorrow is a day off for most of us.

The bad for the day...insensitive people

The Weird for the day...Did you catch Jay Leno last night.  He had the YouTube clip with the cheerleader going ape sh** over the win.  Do you suppose he is reading my blog???? Let's hope so. If you need to see it again click the They Got It From Me post on the sidebar to the right.

Let's waste a little more time watching Simon the Cat.  It's better than working.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

We're Discussing Cussing....again

After my post from a few days ago "What Makes Bad Words Bad?"  You are probably going to think I have a preoccupation with swear words.  Just to clear the air,  I absolutely do. 

Just kidding. I wouldn't say preoccupied....   I do find the progression of what we consider acceptable words kind of interesting.   Words that were NEVER, EVER, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCE  spoken  are now in the titles and lyrics of songs, in movies (even animated) on television,...well.... practically every where.

The reason, I am even bringing this up again is that I was reading (of course, you say) a blog written by a mother of a couple of tweens that was discussing  how she has to research all forms of media to evaluate if the content is appropriate for her girls.  It's more than looking at a rating.  How did it get that rating????

Seems the mom was going to take the girls to see the King's Speech and wanted to do her homework as to the appropriateness of it for her girls.  Makes sense.  She was CONFLICTED as to what  is the standard for the lowest/highest (depending which way you look at this) acceptable limits of sex, violence and/or bad language in the content of a movie based on the age of her kids.  After doing her research it turns out the R rating that The Kings Speech has, is due to the fact there is some swearing.  Not that that isn't a bit of a worry, but it least it didn't have the trifecta of "off limitedness".  That of course, would be graphic violence, sex and profanity.

 I didn't realize until reading her article that the King's Speech has an R rating.  I went to this movie.  (Loved it by the way and my guess would have been PG 13) Without having to consider ratings at this point in my life, I guess I give very little thought to what may or may not be age appropriate.   Turns out that during one the scenes where George VI is stuttering, he gets frustrated and says FFFFuuu******* several times. Stuttered but still. 

Well, back to the mom.  She figures if that is all that is wrong with this movie she is good to go.  She has some theories too.  Her kids hear this word at home on a semi-regular basis evidently so it's use has already been explained. As with all parents, I am guessing, her explanation goes "It's a bad word  that mommy and daddy shouldn't use.  Don't do as we do, do as we say. Never, ever use that word."  That should cover it, right?

She took them to the movie which they, too, loved.  During the part of that stuttered curse they laughed. No shock, no grimace or no covering the ears going la la la la.

Now according to the article she figures this one bad word is a drop in the bucket of what her girls are exposed to on a regular basis. The fact that they listen to pop and especially rap music will provide them with a  steady stream of swearing, sexual innuendo, violence and lyrics  that objectify mostly women but some men.

A few years ago, I was driving to do a training class when a song came on the radio that contained the F word.  Me, being from the old school,  am shocked.  How in the hell did that get by the censor?  I think the song was James Blunt's "You're So Beautiful", obviously the unedited version.   Are you humming it???hhhmmmm...she caught my eye, as I walked on by...she could see on my face I was flying high....hhhmmm He was only flying  in the clean version, though.

In order to evaluate how far we've come since Jame's Blunt's 2005 song, I decide to Google the top 40 hits of today.  Well, we have made strides as far as dirty words go.  Just in the top 10 there are 2 songs that have the F word right in the title.  I guess their thought is to take the direct  approach and remove any doubt  if this song is appropriate for the tween set.

There seems to be such a total acceptance of this trend of word promiscuity. Let's just check out the metamorphosis of the ways people could express their approval since the 1930's or so til  now.
 Cat's  Meow...Coolsville....Cool......Groovey...Hot....Sic....Bitchin'....  This might not be entirely accurate as I am not very cool and get confused as to how often the words cool and hot have come and gone in all of this.  I am pretty sure though that as far as appropriate words versus inappropriate words, most parents would take either hot or cool over bitchin'. Am I wrong???

Turns out we have made great advances  in "pushing the limits" in movies, music and television.

In this time of my life, I rarely have to give any thought to programming or content.  I find a lot of things interesting and amusing on cable TV and movies.   I am entertained by the catchy lyrics of Pink's F****** Perfect song.  You might remember that I posted the edited version on Feb. 28th in the post titled Monday, Need I Say More.

  I just wouldn't want it quite so readily available if I was starting over having  children.  OMG, I just threw up a little bit!!!  (To hubby, if you are reading this, I will go right now and wash my mouth out with soap.)

The Good....Parents that work hard to teach their kids value

The Bad....Kids are exposed to so much it makes parenting that much more difficult

The Weird.... I was looking looking at some of those Top Ten videos to see if there was anything the 10 and 12 year old set could or should be watching.  Gosh, I am glad I don't have tweens in the house.

 However, while browsing around on YouTube looking at videos,  I did run across a South Park video called Kyle's Mom is a Big Fat Bi*** which I found  funny in a very inappropriate way (and it  has a  really catchy tune).  I didn't add it as I know some of my regular readers don't go in for that kind of humor. So in my effort to keep this more on a PG13 rating the rest of you will have to  go to YouTube and look for it. 

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Red is in the Eye of the Beholder....

This morning, while sitting in my comfy chair drinking some form of caffeine, thinking deep thoughts about how long it might take me to adjust to my misplaced DST hour, I was brought to attention with a new commercial.

It is actually a plea of sorts.  Three people that have been in devastating car accidents are asking people to "TEXT RED".  The context of the campaign is to have Missourians text the word red to a  given number to show their endorsement for cameras to be put up at intersections.  These cameras are to capture  pictures of the red light runners.

The three speakers in the commercial all have poignant, heart breaking stories, and I would be texting like a mad woman except, I am not a Missourian.  I live on the Kansas side of this city.  My vote doesn't count over there. 

I am amazed at the ongoing debate over this issue here in Metro KC, though.  Hardly a day goes by that some group isn't campaigning for or against the cameras.  As always, I am a bit conflicted.  The battle within my brain however is clearly stronger on the "I AM FOR IT" side.

Both Kansas Cities (Kansas City, KS and Kansas City, MO.) already have beau coup cameras in place. This is SO ticking  a whole bunch of people off.  I don't understand how it is against their right to privacy, as they claim.  I also, don't see how it infringes on their civil liberties which they also claim.  The fact, that there are traffic laws that say "STOP ON RED, GO ON GREEN", seem pretty forthright.   It is the law.  So STOP your damn car already when the light is red. 


The one little niggling of a problem I have is this.  A couple of  months ago, I got a letter from the state of Missouri complete with a $113.00 ticket in it.  There were all kinds of directions as to who to make the check out to, where to mail it, and if I choose to contest it who to call within the KC court system.  I, of course, am not loving this letter.  I look to see where I supposedly ran a light.  Frankly, I am even shocked that I would have run through a red light,  because I am that person that tries to always follow the rules.  That is part of my LACK of charm.  I am stuffy by some peoples standards.  Back to the letter... It tells me I ran a light in a section of town here known as Red Bridge.  I am suspicious.... I haven't been to Red Bridge in ... heck, I don't even remember when.  Maybe two years ago.

So, I immediately start yelling at hubby, (so unfair, I know) saying did you use my car and run a red light????
He is vigorously denying running a light while he is yanking the pages of ticket-giving documentation out of my hands.

Of course, he quickly gets to the incriminating proof  that lies on the last page of this ticket o'mine to find the  picture of my car and license plate. (alleged car and license plate) 

Here's the deal....Car in picture IS NOT MINE.  Not even close.  Under the picture there is a web address that says I can go online, using my  ticket number as a password, and  view the incriminating footage of my act of  recklessness.

Which, of course, I do.  What I see on the web site is a dirty (as in needs washed)  law breaking Volvo that blatantly ran the red without so much as a pause. The video is as clear as day in the picture, while the license number is not so clear..  The dirt on the dirty little Volvo is obstructing the robotic reader that is taking a picture of this crappy driver and his vehicle.  Evidently in Missouri, they make a guess and my license plate was close enough.

The black Volvo sedan is now causing my Radiant Red SUV a big ole problem.  Not to mention it is making me cranky.  I follow the directions on the ticket to contest it.   All this bureaucracy because some dirty car and it's driver doesn't get the concept of STOP ON RED, GO ON GREEN.

I fax in the appropriate paperwork and follow up with a phone call to the company that is anxiously waiting for  my $113.00 to arrive in the near future. (which by the way is in Arizona) The person on the phone is clearly thinking I just don't want to pay up but I am insisting that I drive a mid-size red SUV and I didn't run a light.  She wants pictures of my vehicle with  a clear picture of my plates along with my registration that shows the make and model of my car.

OK, this is what the real glory of the Internet is.  I take pictures with my IPhone, download to my computer, email the "less than friendly" person in Arizona all the required information.

She says....We will review your case and get back with you in a couple of weeks.

What?? I have a ticket that is to be paid and according to your paperwork if I don't pay it there are consequences. (the word warrant was in there somewhere).   This is the kind of crap that makes me crazy.

She tells me if it would make me feel better, I could just pay it.  NO THAT WOULD NOT MAKE ME FEEL BETTER. 

I decide to wait it out.  Low and behold a couple weeks later I get another letter.  My case has been dismissed. No explanation (could have said because it wasn't you) no apology (because it wasn't me) not anything except the "case is dismissed."


Of the more than 18,000 tickets issued in KC for red light runners only about 8,000 actually paid the fines.  Surely not all of those ten thousand were mistakes.  What is wrong with this system??? KCTV5 said in a recent broadcast that 57 percent of the time there are no consequence to running through a red light here.

The Good for the Day.... Efforts made to keep people safer.

The Bad for the Day...Bureaucratic glitches that cause people time and effort to get messes straightened out. Oh, and ineffectual programs that don't do what they are designed to do.

The Weird for the day... Why are we all in such a hurry???

Sunday, March 13, 2011

Here's to You George.......

What exactly does "get your Hoe Ready" mean?
This year, like every other year on the first morning of DST spring time shift, I am (figuratively) giving George Vernon Hudson the finger.  For those of you who aren't familiar with George, he is the genius that introduced the idea of Daylight Savings Time.  For what ungodly reason, you ask??  Because he was an entomologist that worked a day job and wanted more daylight time after work to look for BUGS.

As far as me giving George the bird, I suspect he could care less. (specifically due to the fact he has been dead since 1946) I guess he wouldn't care about my anti-time changing stance even if he was still living.  It served his purposes. He got the time he needed for the bug collection and all.

What kind of a narcissistic geek, makes the whole world screw with their clocks twice a year so he can work on his bug collection.  I am not a fan, George.

A. We don't live in a world anymore in which there is a clock or two in each house. The clocks we do have, aren't  as simple as moving the hour hand up one hour by nudging it with our finger.  Today we have dozens of clocks. They are on are stoves, microwave ovens, computers, phones, our cable boxes, our home theaters, our alarm clocks and our wrists. As in the case of one of my clocks that is supposed to self adjust, it went on strike this morning.  I fight this fight twice a year.  That particular clock has been banished to the guest bedroom.

B.  For every survey that is done to support the advantages of DST, there is a counter point survey that says it is a deterrent in some way.  Let's call it a tie.

C.  The National Golf Foundation says the extra daylight gives them a $200-$300 million dollar boost while Dept. of Agriculture says farmers suffer because they are losing valuable morning light to work by.  I guess you have to pick your team.  Who are you rooting for the golfers or the farmers?  Hey, think before you answer this.  Which team provides you with steak and potatoes??? Huh... how about the wheat flour that makes all the yummy things we can't get enough of???  Still not convinced... OK, how about the farmers that grow barley and hops?  Just sayin'....

D. A 2008 Swedish study found that heart attacks were significantly more common the first three weekdays after the spring transition but less in the fall transition.  Did they really need a study for this?  If we wake up in the spring at our habitual wake time we are "OMG, I'm late!!!!" where as in the fall we wake up at our habitual time we say "I can screw around for an extra hour. Now thats what I'm talkin' about."
(interesting note: the government of Kazakhstan cited this as the reason for abolishing DST in 2005. Must of been a few high ranking Kazakhstans that were having trouble getting up.)

E. Some of those studies research the effects on traffic.  Another big surprise (note the sarcasm) is that traffic accidents climb for the days and weeks after the spring adjustment.  DUH, again.  Everyone overslept and now they are running late. Late to work drivers make crappy drivers.

OK.  I think the answer is clear.  Leave the damn clocks alone.  (At least for the twice annual screwing with trying how to change the digital clock on my nightstand)  Let's just rework "how we tell time" once.  For one time only we need to change EVERY clock in world to a 15 hour clock.  We will have 30 hour days. 
We can use the extra hours by adding an hour and a half to our mornings and an hour and a half to our evenings.  You can sleep a little longer in the morning and play a little longer in the evening.  Cautionary note to employers, you can not add any of this time to any one's work day.  Did you hear me!!! I am serious, this is strictly to make more time to sleep and play.

Noon will now be 15:00.  Our work day will be something like 10:00-6:00 but you will not be going to bed till 13:00 o'clock so you have plenty of time to golf or go to happy hour.  Happy hour is now, happy hours.
Let's make happy hours from 5:00-7:00.  Now with not having to be to work till ten, you really have no excuse not to get up at about 7ish and get a little exercise in.  The beauty of this plan is that the world will now start losing some of the poundage.

Again, keep in mind, this plan will take some getting used to BUT it is a ONE TIME pain in the ass as opposed to twice every year.  

Well unfortunately, I am running late for church this morning so I gotta run.

The Good....I remembered to adjust my clock so I won't be the person walking into church as it is ending.

The Bad....For the next couple of weeks I will feel like I am getting out of bed at 4:20 instead of 5:20. Hate it.

The weird....The fact we are all being inconvenienced because some entomologist  wanted more daylight to look for bugs.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Adult Version of Hide and Seek.....

Before, I start with my nonsense for the day, I just want to say how much I appreciate those readers that are following me regularly.  Your readership is greatly appreciated.  I am probably going to post new material a little slower, so as new readers join us they will have a chance to get caught up a bit.  Always feel free to email me with comments  ( or add them under the post.  I love hearing from you. This form of communication is the new substitute for us all to meeting for coffee every day.  Well, minus the meeting part and the coffee part but I would like you to have your turn to talk too.  .....Cheryl

As some of you know, my actual profession is a real estate agent.  I am somewhat hesitant to refer to myself as a real estate agent at this point, as I have been referring much of my business to other agents.  I am taking a bit of a break to pursue some other interests.  Besides the market is a mess right now and that makes me my mood nuckin' fugly. (I make up new words all the time, get used to it)

I won't bore you with all the details as it would take an entire book to explain how complicated it is to get something negotiated, appraised, a lender to underwrite a mortgage, and get both the buyers and sellers to the table without anybody sustaining bodily harm.  I could be a negotiator for the FBI and need less skill.  Maybe I should send in my resume.  At this point, I went back and got yet another certification to help me step through the mine field that is real estate.  My piece of paper with the big CREN (certified real estate negotiator) symbol on it would be more impressive to today's buyers and sellers if it had a big HGTV logo on it.  

 So during my "slow down" I decided to joins some type of fun and interesting "group" and sign up for some volunteerism.

I suppose that at some point I will have to make a decision as to what I need to do for a job, but for today I am needing a break.  One of the things I learned with those 21 moves is that looking for a new job is the modern version of being tarred and feathered.  You will survive it but it isn't pleasant.

I have been looking around Olathe, KS  for clubs or group to which I might want to affiliate with.

Here are some of my  choices:

The Greater Kansas City Skeptics Club  or
Midwest Skeptics Club  or
KC Women's Skeptics Club.......
I suppose if I would decide to go to one of these, I would pick the Women's Skeptic Club. It sounds smaller and cozier but ...I don't know...I'm skeptical

The Pagan Temple for Families and Solitaires or
Opal Moon Coven (Wicca group) 
I doubt that these groups are quite my style but if I would ever run into Christine O'Donnell and she would say "I am not a witch, I am just like you"  THEN I could say "Guess, what? YOU'RE A WITCH!!!

Oh and the other good thing about the Pagan Temple is they encourage Druids to join in. (who knew that there were Druids in KC???) See how educational my blog is.  You learned something new didn't you??
Perhaps, I need to find out the qualifications of becoming a Druid.

KC Big Losers
There are a lot of weight lose related clubs but I don't qualify now.  They should of reached out to me when I lived in Nebraska. (see post Fat Bigot) There is a certain appeal though, for me to be able to tell everyone I'm a Big Loser. I would even do the thumb/finger thing in front of my forehead. 

Kansas City Drum Tribe- 
again, I don't qualify but I love the fact that they are a tribe. That appeals to me.  In my next Christmas letter I could say: This is the year Cheryl joined a tribe.  Sounds catchy, don't you think???

KC Freethinkers
I read the write up for this one and was greatly disappointed.  They aren't really freethinkers so much. You have to be agnostic or atheist to get in this group.  From my point of view they are being a little narrow minded. If they were REALLY freethinkers, everyone would be welcome.

Drinking Liberally Club
The Army of the Beerlords
I think the fact that I suffer from Alcohol Intolerance  (see post They Got It From Me) might get in the way of these clubs.  There is the fact that I am always ready to be the designated driver. Maybe they could make me their mascot. There would be the added bonus that if I joined the Beerlords group, I could send emails to everyone I know saying "I joined the army!!

KC Tough Mudder
This one sounds like fun. The intro says: This is not your average lame-ass mud run.. it's Ironman meets Burning Man.  Does this mean after we are done running in the mud we get to start a big fire?

Provocateurs and Peacemakers
This one sound interesting.  In this group the agnostics, atheists, Christians, and secular humanists debate and discuss their ideologies.  I wonder which of those categories are the provocateurs and which are the peacemakers.  I am relatively sure that there would be some new things for me to be conflicted about.
Better not take the chance.

Kansas City Extreme Sports
This one doesn' give much information.  I am curious what the extreme sports might be though.
Trying to cross Interstate 35 at rush hour????  Getting through Nebraska Furniture Mart in under a half hour??? Trying to get an accurate count of the self-serve yogurt stores that have opened in the last year????
(for you that don't live in KC, you might not appreciate how daunting of a task that would be....big numbers involved)

Knotty Knitters, Happy Hookers and Salacious Spinsters ..
I am sure you think I made this up.  I didn' it.
This group might be fun just so I could tell hubby I joined a club that has happy hookers in it.

The BFF Women's Club- 
This one sounds harmless enough but as usual I have a story that relates to BFFs.  I am very cautious these days.  (maybe I should reconsider one of those groups for skeptics)

Five years ago upon moving here,  I joined a "newcomers" type of group so I could meet some other women that were new to the area.  I jumped in with both feet. The group needed a website so I volunteered to create  one and maintain it.  That seemed like a good way to get involved and learn something new at the same time.

A few months after I had the site up and running, I was contacted by another web administrator  that maintains  a similar site  for a different  club.  She suggested we meet for coffee.  OK, seemed like a good idea.  Perhaps we would have something in common. 

The first time I met ...let's call her Julie...all seemed pleasant.  She seemed "normal" enough. We had a nice conversation and went our separate ways.  WELL...a couple of days later I see she has joined the group that I maintain the website for.  Perhaps she just thought it sounded like a nice group.  Not long after that, she shows up at another group I was involved in.  This is where I noticed WEIRD coming into play.

The second group that Julie showed up for was a morning meeting for  "positive minded" professional women that meet for upbeat conversation and coffee on Tuesday mornings at 7:00 AM. (For those of you out there wondering how they possibly let me in their group,  my response to you is,  I come across very cheerful while analyze all that is right and wrong in the world.) 

At some point, I figured out I had picked up a stalker.  It never occurred to me that stalkers came in the "just wanting to be a best friend" form.  According to Julie, she  thought we would make the best of friends.
Now you are thinking, what is wrong with me that I am not open to a new friend.  Here is the deal!!

Julie is a Freakin' NUT.  I am not dramatizing this for effect. I am not using poetic license. Really, she is a nut.

I am going to narrow it down to one example and even on that one I have to clean it up for the sake of maintaining a post that won't get tagged "for mature audiences only". 

Julie tells me that her 16 year old son is sexy.  Inherently there is something creepy when a mom is describing how sexy her kid is.  According to her he is  really attractive to the ladies.  To substantiate how much charisma this kid supposedly has she tell me he is having an affair with a co-worker at his part time place of employment. He works at a big box home improvement store and the co-worker is older than he is. Again, according to her, her kid is just so appealing and so mature for his age it would only make sense. To her this is an affirmation that her child is special.  The uncondensed version of the  story she told would make your hair curl and your stomach hurl.

I come back with something to the intended effect of "You do realise that you are demented  and have you considered what if he gets her pregnant?"  Julie is offended that I am throwing negatives at the whole romantic notion she has swimming in the vacant cavity that is her skull.  She comes back with a "He's too smart for that?"  I could be jumping to conclusions here but the fact that Julie is this kid's mother,  might lead me to the assumption that he isn't all that smart. No matter if we are talking genetics or environment, this kid is screwed. (figuratively and literally) Just for the record, she told a host of other little anecdotes that were equally disturbing. This was the most extreme case of TMI that I have ever dealt with.  Did I mention she is a nut?

I was hopeful that after our drastically different points of view on proper decorum for 16 year olds, that Julie and I would be circulating in different circles.  Seemingly, she wants us to just agree to disagree on some subjects and continues to show up at activities that I participate in. Additionally, she feels the need to tell everyone she speaks with that she and I are BFFs. 

I continue to go to my groups and try to play nice as I can from a distance.  Again, I find myself conflicted.  If and when I join another group in the future I am hopeful to find a group that Julie isn't part of and hope against all hope that she doesn't track me down and join.

So, I will quit blogging today and ponder the big mysteries of where I belong. 

Talk to you later.

The Good for the Day.... Finding good friends that share your values

The Bad for the Day....Stalkers

The Weird for the day....Strange moms with strange values  If you are wanting to interact with Julie,  she sells used bras on the KC Craigslist.  (I am serious!) She says her 13 year old daughter has a great rack (her words) and goes through a lot of under garments.  ??? NUTS ???

Here is a song about a different Julie.  Sounds like this one is a good one.