Tuesday, July 31, 2012

It's Not The Heat, It's the Humidity

This was my IPhone as 9:00 PM last Friday. I wish I would
of thought to take a picture earlier in the day when
it was showing 107. Also, that little teaser showing
rain for  Saturday and Sunday...total lie.
 Are you officially tired of hearing about how hot and dry it is in the middle of the country??  Well, you probably aren't nearly as sick of hearing about it as we are living in it.

Last year the southern states, especially Texas was sweltering in the heat and drought.  They were kind enough to send it up north for us this year.  While we are ever so  appreciative (sarcasm) we are more than willing to give it to any other state that would want some "dry time".

Today, actually is a bit cooler at 100 degrees but the drought continues.  There are  suggestions that we might get a half inch of rain later in the week.  HHMMM...could we get that lucky??

109 degrees...that's hot!!!
BTW the 129.1 is the miles
traveled not the miles per hour.

Thought Number One -  There is the old saying, "It's Not the Heat but the Humidity".

OH PULLEEZ!!! It is the heat AND the humidity.  Hot is hot and the humidity is 72 percent this morning.  There should be no "buts" in that sentence. 

Kansas has four seasons normally.....Drought, Flood, Blizzard and Tornado.  This past year we totally skipped Blizzard and concentrated on the Tornado, (Spring) Flood and now Drought.  Seems to be feast or famine around here.

My husband was traveling yesterday in central Kansas and sent me
a picture of the dashboard of his rental car. 

OK, I am done whining now about the weather as I realize the whole country is having unusual weather patterns. I am curious as to the effects of drought and heat on the human brain.

Thought Number Two...I keep thinking in cliches

Yesterday, while I was reading the paper I saw an interesting story and later heard it on the news. Instead of being all...OH that's so sad (OK it is, I admit it) I immediately thought of all the cliches that fit the story. 

There is a news release out of Florida where a guy feeding alligators got his hand bit off.
True story...Wallace Wetherholt, an airboat captain in Florida, was feeding the alligators by dangling fish over the side of his boat in the Everglades and a gator came up and bit his hand off. Just to show, I sick I am, the article said he was giving a tour to an Indiana family. My first thought was...there is a tour that family won't forget anytime soon. Then to make the story even MORE interesting, is the man gets arrested for feeding the alligators which is against the law in the Everglades.  He posted $1000.00 bond and will have to answer to the judicial system as well as the medical system for his total lack of common sense.

But, I digress...my other thoughts on the subject came in the form of old adages. As I am not a person that usually thinks in "cliches", this surprised (even) me a bit. 

There are just so many cliches that a person could use for this story. Things like "common sense isn't all that common", or "keep your hands to yourself", "living from hand-to-mouth" "having someone eating out of your hand"(in this case, including the hand), "caught red handed" are just a few.  I am sure there are others.

But the clear WINNER....

Isn't this story the best example EVER of "don't bite the hand that feeds you."

And then I think  "Adding Insult to Injury" he is facing misdemeanor charges. How cliche?

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Friday, July 27, 2012

Stranger than Fiction

Every week I look through all of the news outlets looking for the crazies that make most of us look sane...well let's say, saner. AND each week I tell myself "it just can't get any crazier than this" but then it does.  This week was no exception.

Have you all been following the Goat Man story out of Utah? 

Goat Nuts

Utah authorities are working to identify a man spotted dressed in a goat suit among a herd of wild goats in the mountains of northern Utah.
The photographer who snapped blurry photos of the individual, dubbed "goat man," told Fox affiliate KSTU-TV that he spotted the man Sunday as he was descending Ben Lomond peak, about 40 miles north of Salt Lake City.
"He was clumsy, working his way down the cliff trying to catch up with the rest of the herd," photographer Coty Creighton told the station. "With the binoculars, I could clearly see it was a guy dressed up in a homemade goat suit. The man appeared to be acting like a goat while wearing the crudely made costume, which had fake horns and a cloth mask with cut-out eye holes. It was real creepy."
Creighton said the man appeared to be wearing heavy gloves so he could crawl on his hands and knees. He also said that at one point, the man lifted his mask and looked up at him for several minutes.
"He kind of slouched down, like was getting nervous or was feeling really self-conscious," Creighton added. "He actually got off his hands and knees and sat on the hill for several minutes until he thought I was gone."
Phil Douglass of the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources said Friday that the person wearing the goat suit is doing nothing illegal, but he worries the man is unaware of the dangers.
"My very first concern is the person doesn't understand the risks," Douglass said. "Who's to say what could happen." He worries the goat man might be accidentally shot or could be attacked by a real goat.
Douglass said wildlife officials received an anonymous call Thursday from an "agitated man" after the sighting was reported in local media. The caller simply said, "Leave goat man alone. He's done nothing wrong." (who might that caller be, I wonder???)

Then...this week, the Goat Man is identified....sort of.

Phil Douglass of the Utah Division of Wildlife Resources said he received a call Monday from a 57-year-old Southern California hunter who explained he was merely trying out his goat suit in preparation for a mountain goat hunt in Canada next year.

"In talking to him, I felt he was very knowledgeable, a very experienced hunter. He's hunted internationally," Douglass added. "My concern all along was that this person needed to understand the risks, and certainly after talking to him, I felt he was doing the best he could to understand and mitigate those risks ... He was simply preparing for a hunt."
The man did not identify himself, Douglass said, noting the hunter was concerned for his safety after widespread media coverage of the sighting, first reported by the Standard-Examiner of Ogden.

Preparing for the hunt??? Really, how does dressing up as a goat and climbing around on a mountain constitute "preparing".  Can we all say "crazy as bat crap"...or goat crap...but crazy for sure.

Mummies Make the Very Best Roommates

Last Friday, a 911 call to the Jackson County (Michigan) Sheriff's office started an investigation that led to an unfortunate discovery.

Barb Ziglar called the sheriff's office to ask them to check on the welfare of her uncle Charlie.

We’ve been trying to get a hold of him. My aunt is being put in hospice – that’s his sister – and my cousin’s been trying to get a hold of him for quite a while, and my brother even stopped in about a month ago and his girlfriend’s always saying that he’s gone. But he’s on oxygen, he can barely get around by himself. Nobody’s heard from him in quite a while. We’re concerned about him.”

It turns out the Charles Ziglar was gone...like in dead but not missing...gone.  His mummified body was discovered in his recliner, in his living room, in his home with his long time companion, Linda Lou Chase.

It appears that Charlie died sometime around Christmas of 2010 in his chair and Linda Lou just let him be.  Well..not entirely, I guess...she put a blanket over him.

Chase went on to say that Charlie just went to sleep and she didn't want to part with her dear friend. "It's not that I am heartless. I didn't want to be alone." She  said she liked watching NASCAR races with her deceased friend. She went on to say that he never smelled bad as she cleaned and dressed him regularly.  (EEEEWWWWW)

The 72 year old BFF had the presence of mind, however, to endorse and cash his social security and pension checks for the last 18 months.

It is unclear if Lucy Lou broke any laws other than the forgery of the checks. There doesn't seem to be any other laws on the books that would apply to this situation.  Jackson police Lt. Chris Simpson said the police are still trying to determine the actual amount but it is believed to be more than $28,000.00. Simpson doesn't believe Lucy Lou will serve any real time in prison due to her age although the charges could warrant about 14 years in prison. Michigan doesn't have any specific laws concerning mummified boyfriends left in their recliners watching NASCAR. 

An autopsy showed that Charlie died of chronic obstructive pulmonary disease (COPD).

Michigan doesn't have any specific laws concerning mummified boyfriends left in their recliners watching NASCAR.  I think maybe Michigan better work on being more detailed when writing their laws.

Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Fair Time Again

Every year in July, my husband and I take a few days to travel back to our farm.  Yes, we are city dwellers that bought a farm.  A long complicated story how we arrived at being farm owners .....but part-time farmers we are. I am sure that some people would think we were quite insane to spend the money to buy  into such an "iffy" proposition.

 My husband's family settled in the northeast part of Illinois in the late 1800's and the area is "home" for him.  We are quite fortunate that while he opted not to be a full time farmer, his brother not only loves farming but agreed to "farm" our farm as well. We get the luxury of visiting from time to time without having to actually do the work. (NOTE: my brother-in-law is not only a wonderful guy is is an AWESOME farmer.)

Thought Number One:  I drive the men who work on the farm nuts.

Every year I find something new to stick my nose in.  This year was no different.  We arrived just in time to see the crop dusting.  Now to my husband and brother-in-law, this doesn't seem overly exciting.  I, on the other hand, think this is so cool. 

This year, thanks to the extreme heat and dry conditions the corn crops are prone to fungus problems.  Additionally, the beans are being dusted for spidermites.  Again this dry, hot year is fostering pests. 

The men, despite trying to get their work done, humored me and answered my multitude of questions on how the helicopter refueled and reloaded chemicals.  So far this summer the three men dusting these crops have dusted more that 15,000 acres. 

I asked him how long it took to land on the truck to reload.  The turn around time is less than 40 seconds.

Thought Number Two -  Meet Me at The Fair

For my long time readers, you might remember that Hubby and I always time one of our farm trips to coincide with the county fair.  This allows us to meet up with all of our relatives in one place.  It also, allows us to eat junk food for a couple of days and rationalize it by telling ourselves that we will walk off the calories hanging out at the fair.

Additionally, I love watching my two little grandkids enjoying  the rural atmosphere. (They, also, are city dwellers.)

Little G-boy #2 eating ice cream.  He is getting as much
on his clothes as in his mouth but that isn't bothering

Little G-boy #1 is pretend driving one of the antique tractors
while little brother is adjusting a light.
Fishing for prizes.  They both caught a fish.
Baby ducks are so cute.

G-boy #1 (in the blue shirt)  got to count down the start of
the demolition derby.  5-4-3-2-1 GO
Little brother didn't mind the ice cream all over
him but doesn't like the dust
from the demolition derby.

With the help of my nephew Shawn (orange shirt) and my Son-in-law, both little boys get to come down the big slide.

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Friday, July 20, 2012

That's One Way to Go

Every week I look for interesting (?) unusual news releases for my Friday post. I struggle with which 3 or 4 make the cut depending on factors such as "is it too stupid to be credible?", is it too disgusting to put  in my post?" or " is it so dumb that it doesn't keep my interest  long enough to get through the article?"  Given my rather short attention span and the number of truly disgusting stories out there it all but a miracle that I have a post on Friday.

Still....this week I was able to find four "back-page" news stories to share.

WARNING: the first news story comes with a PG13 rating today. Feel free to adjust that age up or down depending on your level of comfort with a certain four letter word. 

The Billboard says WHAT??????

Seriously? This is a marketing plan????
Just when you thought that you have seen everything, something new presents itself. 
A giant risque billboard has gone up on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles that is sure to slow traffic along the Sunset Strip.

CougarLife.com describes itself as "the premier online dating service that pairs women in their prime with younger men and ends the double standard!"

Elissa Buchter, spokeswoman for Cougar Life and a cougar herself, told the media that the billboard is the first of more the company hopes to put up in Hollywood and West Hollywood. The company is targeting the area, Buchter said, because it is the national "cougar capital" -- with more Cougar Life members in the 90069 zip code than anywhere else in the U.S.

 Regarding the term "mother f*ckers," she commented, "The majority of cougars are single moms. And we thought it'd be a good way to get their attention and make a splash."

I don't know about the "making a splash" part, but definitely this is getting attention.  I think that maybe a few might disagree with the "good way" part of her statement.

Dancing in the Street...on a Pole

Prostitutes in New Zealand are being accused of destroying street signs by performing pole dancing routines on poles that can't support their weight.

The officials in  South Auckland, New Zealand are having an issue with their city's signs. The problem is that local prostitutes are being accused of destroying street signs by using them for pole dancing routines designed to attract customers.

In the last 18 months, more than 40 poles have been bent, buckled or broken in the past 18 months and the signs, which include notices of parking restrictions, cost taxpayers thousands of dollars to replace.
Elected officials such as Donna Lee say the culprits are local prostitutes who use them like stripper poles in a dance club. "The poles are part of their soliciting equipment and they often snap them," she told The Telegraph. "Some of the prostitutes are big, strong people."
I think they need to replace those street signs with a more quality product.  Do street signs come in "titanium"? There's probably a advertising opportunity there somewhere.  South Auckland has "big strong prostitutes"....surely, there is a way to make that work for them.

Quality Check Gone Bad 
Saturday was a bad day for Tavares Donnell Colbert. The Oklahoma man accidentally shot himself in the genitals, and then got arrested for it, The Weekly Vice reported.

Cops met up with Colbert -- a convicted drug dealer out of Watonga -- at a hospital at about 9 a.m. Colbert allegedly told officers that he found the gun somewhere in Kansas and had plans to sell it at a convenience store.

Prior to meeting up with the gun's purchaser at the 7 Eleven, he pulled his truck over to the side of the road, to make sure the gun worked. (how considerate that he didn't want to sell a defective gun.) 

The gun worked fine. Unfortunately for him he had the gun aimed at his private parts.  After shooting himself, he  panicked and drove to the hospital.

Colbert isn't allowed to carry a firearm because he's a convicted felon with a long rap sheet, so cops arrested him after he was treated, according to reports.

What makes this story even better is this guy has a bias....he hates dumb people.  On if Facebook page he posted  "Boy sum people aint shit!!!!!!!! They momma and daddy shouldnt of even named them shoulda just let them drop and bust they head when they were born."

Clearly this is a genius with exceptional skills in spelling and grammar.  He might want to work on his aim a bit.

The Purr-fect Mayor

His Honor the Mayor.  Looks better than other politicians
I've seen...although he is naked and lying down on the

Mayor Stubbs has been at the helm of the small town of Talkeetna, Alaska for 15 years - an impressive feat for any elected official, but even more so considering Stubbs is a cat.

The part-manx is popular among residents, who voted him into office in a write-in election a decade and a half ago when he was a kitten, after rejecting the human candidates on the ballot.

"Lo and behold, Stubbs the cat won the write-in that year," a local resident to the local NBC affiliate,  "And he's been our mayor ever since."

Chamber of Commerce president Andi Manning explained to CNN. "Town residents are perfectly happy with their choice, and had nothing but praise for his record in office. "He's good. Probably the best we've had," Laurie Stec told WBBH.

It would appear that there are no term limits in Talkeetna.  The fact that Mayor Stubbs is "the best mayor they ever have had" doesn't bode well for past mayors.  They must of really been bad.

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

The Hatfield and McCoys

Thought Number One...The Hatfields and the McCoys weren't familiar with concept of compromise.

Did anyone...other than me...catch the mini-series on the History Channel about the Hatfields and the McCoys?  NO...really??? No one?  OK..so we have established I am a dork. 

I have to tell you I thought it was an interesting bit of history.  I knew zilch about the actual feud before watching the movie. Then I had to stop and do Internet searches on  everything to get the whole story and make sure Bill Paxton and Kevin Costner weren't taking creative liberties with the story.  Some of the story line just seemed too brutal to be fact.  Turns out the movie was pretty true (with a few minor exceptions) to the real story.

Thought Number Two...The Hatfield and McCoy women had a lot of reasons to be angry.

After the first half hour of the first episode, it became extremely clear to me, that I would have lasted about a minute before it was obvious to the world that I had no business being a housewife of that era.   I can't emphasize this enough.  I am doing figurative cartwheels that I didn't have to live in a log cabin with 16 or 13 children depending which family you are talking about.

I could barely take my eyes off the characters of of the two wives. In every scene these women were cleaning, cooking, farming, mending, tending, sweating, crying...ok, maybe they weren't crying but they should have been.

Think about it.  No bathrooms, no running water, no electricity.  A cabin with lots and lots of children and  again... just so we are clear here...no bathrooms. West Virginia and Kentucky in the summer with no running water and no air conditioner. AND if all of that wasn't making their lives perfect enough, the men were busy killing each other at every available turn. Really, all of it seems fairly close to  Hell on earth.

Clearly, these women had to be strong and fearless to survive the times.

  Reproduction of the home that belonged to Rev. Anderson Hatfield, who presided as the judge in the "hog trial"
 Sarah "Sally" McCoy had 16 children with Randall McCoy, the lead figure on the side of the McCoy family.  Sally was Randall's first cousin so she was a McCoy on both sides as it were.  Talk about family loyalty.  There seems to be some confusion as to what happened to Sally.  In most historical accounts she ran out of her house that had been set fire by the Hatfields and was hit in the head with the butt of a rifle by Johse Hatfield and then nearly beat to death by his uncle, "Bad Jim" Vance.  What happened to her after that differs a bit.  According to the movie,  she went to an asylum and later died. According to some history books, she and Randall moved from the area and she died at home several years after the attack on their home.

Note: I am currently reading Blood Feud by Lisa Alther who is native of the Appalachian area where the feud took place and is a descendant of the McCoys.  She says in the book that Sarah was weakened by the beating and lived a few years in a house in Pikeville, KY before dying at the age of 65.

Levicy Hatfield had 13 children with Anderson  "Devil Anse" Hatfield.  Now don't you just have to wonder about a woman that would marry a man named Devil. Supposedly, Devil Anse got the name from his mother for his somewhat "contrary" personality.  His first cousin who was much more pleasant got the name Preacher Hatfield.  Anyway Levicy Chafin married a Hatfield and her sister Sarah Chafin married a McCoy.  There seems to be a lot of branches on this family tree that don't fork. Levicy died on pneumonia in 1929 and was buried next to Devil Anse in the Hatfield Cemetery.

The Hatfields
There are no pictures of the McCoy clan. Here is a picture of Randolf "Randall" McCoy.
There are no know photos of Sarah McCoy.

The bulk of the feud lasted from 1863 until 1891 but trials relating to the feud didn't end until 1901.
The two families signed a truce that officially ended the feud in 2003.

If I would have had 16 kids in a small cabin with no modern appliances,
it wouldn't of taken a chunk to my head with a butt of a rifle
to make me crazy.

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Monday, July 16, 2012

Time Moves quickly

I know every young person has heard phrases like "how time flies" but part of being young is that you can't believe that is true.  Our perspective on the passage of time changes a great deal over the course of a lifetime.  I suspect time will seem even more fleeting as I get EVEN older.

Today, I was flipping through an old book.  The book, A Light In the Attic by Shel Silverstein was a book that I must have read a hundred times to my kids when they were little.  All of Silverstein's books were favorites of ours.  Along with Dr. Seuss....really any sing songy rhyming books were hits at our house.

Perhaps, some of you have read Shel Silverstein's poems to your kids. 

OR from Where the Sidewalk Ends

Occasionally, I would write sing-songy poems for my kids.  These poems were fun to write and fun to read but clearly, I am not a poet so they hit the trash fairly quickly. As far as I knew all my little poems were long gone.

But today...as I was flipping through The Light In the Attic I found an old poem that I had written and shoved it into a book unread to anyone.   It was aimed toward my son. I am sure, had I read it, he would of thought me crazy.  This would have been over 20 years ago. It was probably his job, at that point, to think of me as crazy. I wrote it on a day that I was frustrated over his messy room but wasn't wanting to fight about it with him.

The room was a dark and dangerous place.
From the floor to the ceiling, it's just a disgrace,
As I adapt to the light and my eyes become clear,
it's apparent this dump hasn't been cleaned for a year.

There's half eaten pizzas, the order-in kind. A petrified burger and fries left behind.
There's bicycle parts shoved under the bed.
The smell is suggestive that something is dead.

There's trash on the floor, wet towels in a heap,
Dirty laundry galore is piled knee deep.
Skateboards and skates from my little boy's play,
The TV,  and CDs, go with my teen of today.

My anger quickly subsides as a thought comes to mind
The day will come when this room's left behind.
In the future this mess will be a part of my past,
My gosh, the time he is with us is moving too fast.

Then this room that annoys me, will always stay clean,
No clutter, no litter,  a housekeeper's dream,
This mother  will despair as she remembers the day
When his hugs and his kisses were but an arm's length away.

So today there's no cleaning, my work here is done,
I am ignoring his room to spend time with my son.
No time today to spend dealing with messes
Time with my kids, seems suddenly precious.

I don't remember the specific day that I jotted this poem down and shoved it into the book. I must have been having a moment of sentimental attachment to my kid. Perhaps, we did go do something fun and forgot about the messy room.  OR.... maybe all that sentimentality quickly wore off and I started screaming at the little slob, and threatening bodily harm if he didn't do some serious housekeeping.

On some days, it really did make  me sad to think about the day my kids would grow up and leave. Then there were other days, that I would have helped them pack.

Note: My son grew up to be quite an organized and neat person.  We both survived his childhood...uninjured. See.... miracles do happen.

Friday, July 13, 2012

Lost, Found and Please, Take Down

What Would a Woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck something?

Hudson, NY- For the third time in a week, American flags were ripped from their staffs at the Republic Civil War section of the Cedar Park Cemetery.  Now the police believe they have collared the perpetrators.

Last Saturday, after another 15 flags went missing bring the total to around 75, the Hudson police installed three surveillance cameras.

Caught in the act..woodchuck vandal

It turned out there is a gang of vandalizing woodchucks have been taking the flags down into their burrows. 

Is That Yard Art?

A Michigan woman said police showed up at her house after her stepfather carved a part of the male anatomy into a tree stump in her yard.

Mariah Cordes, who recently moved into a home on Clyde Park Avenue in Wyoming, Mich., said her stepfather carved the male organ into the stump as a prank and her neighbors were not entertained, WOOD-TV, Grand Rapids, Mich., reported Thursday.

"Cops came a couple of times," Cordes said. "We decided to take it down."

Cordes said her stepfather removed the stump bearing the offending image. Police said they would have contacted the city attorney's office about possible disorderly conduct charges if the stump had not been removed.

While I can't imagine why a person would want to carve a tree into that particular shape, especially given the fact, they are the "new people"  in the neighborhood but I find it ironic that the TV station that came to do the story was WOOD TV. Is it possible to be the "bad neighbor" on day one?

Where the Chips Fall

Police followed a “trail of chips” to arrest a Pennsylvania man who allegedly broke into a Subway restaurant early yesterday and only made off with nine bags of the savory potato crisps.
Investigators charge that Benjamin Sickles, 21, broke out three glass windows at a Subway in Washington, a city 20 miles southwest of Pittsburgh. He then broke a glass door and entered the store around 2:23 AM.
Sickles approached the cash register, but apparently was unable to secure some loot. So he “threw cups at cash register, grabbed two hand full of chips (9 bags)” and exited the Subway with the stolen snacks.
When Washington City Police Department cops arrived, “a trail of chips lead to suspect who was on steps of Washington High School,” according to the complaint. The Subway eatery is only a couple of blocks away from the school, from which Sickles graduated in 2009.
Charged with burglary, criminal trespass, theft, and criminal mischief, Sickles is in the Washington County jail, where he is being held in lieu of $30,000 bond.

That is a really bad day on the job when all you get are nine bags of potato chips. I would have gone for at least a couple of tasty subs before leaving. Who would of thought being a messy eater would land you in jail.

The Good News and The Bad News

The Oregon Court of Appeals has ruled that a southwestern Orgeon city's police department can collect a ONE MILLION DOLLAR  cash prize originally awarded to a woman who authorities say bought the winning lottery ticket in 2005 with a stolen credit card.

The Mail Tribune reported that 45 year old, Christina Goodenow argued that stripping her of the winnings was excessive punishment.

In 2005 Goodenow stole the identity of her boyfriend's dead mother and used the deceased woman's Visa  credit card to purchase $12,000.00 worth of goods which included the lottery ticket.
She pleaded no contest to the crimes and was sentenced to probation.

As part of her sentence, the lottery money was forfeited to the Medford Police Department. In Oregon, police departments can collect money that is seized through criminal activity. Goodenow, filed the appeal in 2007, as an attempt to retain the winning money.

Seems that Ms. Goodenow was bad and now she doesn't feel  good...Isn't there some old adage about " Losers Never Win and Winners Never Lose"     Seems that would be wrong on both counts.

Tuesday, July 10, 2012

Just In Case...You Will Want Me as Your Friend

Thought Number One

Hardly a day goes by without someone talking about the upcoming (speculative) Zombie Apocalypse.  Really???  Didn't we have enough to worry about, like global warming, unemployment, the housing crisis, just general injustice and day-to-day mayhem? Now we have to worry about the undead coming after us to eat our body parts and most specifically our brains.  Just when you think that crazy has bottomed out, you realize that there "is no bottom".

Now that the word "zombie" is the 3rd most searched word on Google, there is a wealth (???)  of information out there.  It would seem that there are a lot of differing points of view on the possibility of our future "undeadedness". (Who would of ever thought, I would be using that particular word in a post.)

The rash of violent crimes during the months of May and June,  that involved eating body parts seems to be fueling the "believers". (I started to refresh your memory by posting the details of a few incidents, but by the time I got to the second one, I was loosing my desire to "catch you up to speed" at the same rate of speed that I was loosing my lunch. So just Google it and help the word "zombie" get the Number 2 spot. Go Zombie!) 

Just as all good stories that are fueled by the media along with it's BFF, the Internet, all sorts of theories have emerged.  One theory being there are airborne viruses released into the atmosphere by NATO that are causing people to become aggressive to the point of attacking other people. (Do I need to add the eating them as well...or is that implied?) There are the theorist that believe that  the Toxoplasma gondii parasite is responsible.  (Sure..let's blame it on the sweet little kitties of the world.)

 Then Bangor, Maine had the Zombie Apocalypse Preparedness Drill.  I would like to think that Bangor was looking for a creative way to have a fun theme party but,,, "Hey, you....Bangor... yes, I am talking to you...You aren't helping to keep the lids on crackpots."
I am not exactly sure what one is to learn from this. Do you want
to be standing in a crowd if your body parts are on
someones menu?

It would appear that zombies take no responsibility for
personal hygiene.

Well, you can all rest easy as the Center for Disease Control, better known as the CDC has issued a statement.  

CDC spokesman David Daigle said the agency “does not know of a virus or condition that would reanimate the dead (or one that would present zombie-like symptoms)”.

The CDC is denying the upcoming apocalypse,  but if you are wanting some free posters go to their website and download away.

For those of you that want to check out the Zombie Preparedness info and get your free stuff off of  the CDC's website, just click here.  http://www.cdc.gov/phpr/zombies.htm  I just love government agencies with a sense of humor...they are joking right???

Thought Number Two

Have I ever mentioned, how great I am in emergencies.

It's true.  Little things like, when you (well..not YOU specifically..you in general) cut me off in traffic will have me losing my  f&#*@*!  mind.  There is seriously going to be some four letter words flying and if words could hurt, you are in serious trouble.

But if you slam you're hand in a door and loose a finger, I am the girl you want standing next to you.
I have already proved myself on this one and I can tell you that, I am good.  Whatever body part you lose, I promise I will retrieve it and get you to the ER lickety split.  I have references.

AND as far as the zombie apocalypse goes, I not only will stay calm and retrieve any of your body parts that are dislodged...I am pretty confident in saying that no one wants my brain.  No ONE. I will be "good to go" in the event of a zombie apocalypse.

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Thursday, July 5, 2012

Another Week of Mixed Nuts

Some weeks, when I am searching for my "odd" lesser-reported news, there seems to be some type of common thread.  Not this week.  I was off to a strong start with stories about boobs though...

Is This Appropriate Attire for a Robbery?

Somewhere in Australia there's a "buxom bandit" on the run. That's what Australian media has dubbed a gas station robber with an affinity for deadly weapons and low-cut shirts.

The local authorities aren't having quite as much fun making sport of the busty thief.  (Surely, one of those cops is dying to say "Let's bust her!")  She did commit crime with a deadly weapon, after all. She held up a Gold Coast gas station of about $200.00 before taking off with a male accomplice.

Clearly, she isn't a master-mind as criminals go, she had only one gloved hand and touch several objects with the ungloved hand.  Plus, she didn't cover her face.

Really, did she need to cover her face when she was wearing that outfit?  Who is looking at her face?

Teenager Not "Big" on Family Tradition

As I am always looking for "the classiest" of stories, this one didn't escape me. 

A story of out Britain, introduces us the the Marshall family.  Mom of nine, Chantal Marshall is in a number of newspapers this week talking about her 14 year old daughter,  Britney.  Mom is being quotes saying "Britney is going through a funny phase at the moment and saying she doesn't want to get her boobs done."

It seems the family has a tradition that the girls all get breast enhancement surgery.  Despite the urging of mom and her four sisters, Britney is not leaning toward "going under the knife" anytime soon.

Her mother, who is a professional psychic,  is holding out hope, though.  Chantal went on to say," I really love the fake look of my girls and I know Britney will go that way when she is a bit older.  I love the idea of us all looking similar and glamorous.

In total, the busty five-some had nearly three litres of silicone put in their breasts in 13 ops.

Only three litres??? I would have guessed more.  I am skeptical of Chantal's psychic ability.  If she really could see into the future she would have given a couple of her girls the heads up on "how big is too big?

Speaking of Big and Sad

Did all of you hear about the theft of the large fiberglass dinosaur last week up in Montana.  If not...let me catch you up.

On June 21st, Dino the  Sinclair dinosaur was stolen from the Hi-Noon Crossroads Travel Center in Missoula, Montana.
They were offering a $250 gas card for information leading to the safe return of the 12-foot-long fiberglass  dinosaur.
"We just wonder what happened to him," Hi-Noon marketing manager Earl Allen said Friday. "It's a little odd for him to just walk away." He went on to say, "It's not like you can just throw him in the back of a pickup."
Initially, when I heard of this story, I thought it was a prank and we would all see a cute pictures of Dino showing up at various places much like the frog or gnome pranks done in the past.  (Tell me you aren't aware of these.  Seriously??? That is how Travelocity came up with the traveling gnome idea.)

Although, I will admit that hauling around a 12 ft., 100 pound dinosaur might have been a bit trickier than a garden gnome.

But, this is another example of my optimism not being rewarded.  The dismembered body of Dino was found in some nearby woods and a decapitated head was found a couple of days later. All of Dino's pieces have been returned and according to the Hi-Noon spokesman, they believe he can be reassembled.

So many questions ....What kind of person steals a 12 ft. dinosaur and how can that go unnoticed??? And what was the point of the decapitating it??? Does this person have dinosaur rage issues?   Is this some type of hate crime???