Friday, November 30, 2012

Who is Naughty?

You might of missed any and all news programming this week with all the fervor over the big lottery win.  Because one of the winners happens to be in the Kansas City area, we have an over-abundance of coverage complete with interviews from everyone that has ever had a connection to the winners.  I think it is a lovely thing for people to have fortuitous events come into their lives but at some point it takes on the feel of the golden ticket scenes in the movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

But let us move on to the stories that might of been overlooked this week.

Public Service Announcement..It's time to dig out your ugly Christmas sweater.

On the subject of  "whose naughty or nice", there seems to be a few people (other than Crabby Pants) that are currently on the naughty list.

Tuesday, November 27, 2012

Deck the Malls

Dear Readers, I am still breaking my posts up a bit with a page break in an effort for the emails to send out more efficiently to my readers. Be sure to hit the "READ MORE" for the rest of the story! For my email subscribers, please email me if you are still having problems receiving new posts.

Here in Kansas City, the holiday season kicks off on Thanksgiving evening with the lighting ceremony at Country Club Plaza.

There is just something magical about Christmas lights.

Thought Number One:
Over the past few years, it seems that a new holiday topic is making the headlines. 

The avalanche of sales and deals, 
the "never-been-cheaper",  the "must-haves",  and steals. thousands of lights are losing their luster, 
as our attention is fixated on which stores have "Door Busters". 

I, personally, didn't go shopping on Black Friday this year.  I'm becoming more and more annoyed by the sport of "extreme shopping.  Is is just me or are others thinking this craziness is...well...crazy?

Friday, November 23, 2012

A Bit Off

 Just a reminder...I have a new format in an effort for my posts to email properly to my readers.  Click on the "read more"  at the end of the first paragraph to see the entire post. Also, in some cases, if you are having problems reading the callout bubbles, you can click on the picture to enlarge it.

Is anyone out there???? With it being Black Friday, perhaps you are all shopping for "once in a lifetime" bargains..... Me? .... I am not setting one pinkie out of the house until I am sure the crowds have subsided.
My husband teasingly said early this morning that perhaps the shelves will be bare before I get started on my shopping.  Call me a risk-taker.

While the hoards are all shopping, I will bring you up to speed on a few of the stories that are a bit "off".

Thursday, November 22, 2012

Happy Thanksgiving

From our house to yours...
                     have a wonderful day!!!!!

Tuesday, November 20, 2012

Getting on the Christmas Bus

Note:  Dear Readers, 

In my on going effort to confuse everyone,  I have changed the format of my posts.  At the end of the first couple of paragraphs,  you will see the words "read more".  Click on the "read more" to open up the rest of the post.  This change was made in an effort to ensure the emailing of  my blog to my subscribers.  

When does the Christmas season start?   When I was a little girl it started on December 13th.  Nothing Christmasy  ( spelling purists...I know that isn't a word...get over it)  started prior to the "12 days of Christmas". Today it would seem, that the Christmas season officially kicks off at the Hobby Lobby in August. Christmas is well represented in September in all the big box stores.   Lest we forget,  Christmas and commercialism go hand and hand, these on the outside chance you aren't aware of it...THERE'S ONLY 44 SHOPPING DAYS UNTIL CHRISTMAS.

Why am I bringing up the subject of  "when does the Christmas season really start" you ask?  (If you aren't asking...too bad...I am going to tell you anyway.)

Friday, November 16, 2012

Organizing the Crazy

Perhaps, I should blame the confusion on my part as being a result of inattentiveness...or preoccupation..but it seems that there is some element of  "what the what" with this week's stories.
Crabby Pants believes that a little organiztion is required over here at TAOBC.  Call my a cynic but I doubt her organization skills will make these stories any more credible.  Let's just say, I don't want to upset Crabby Pants any more than necessary.

She is here to explain her new organizational tool for sorting out our Friday post.  The news stories are now divided into three distinct least as far as Crabby Pants is concerned.  I am not entirely convinced that these three categories will cover all the stupid and weird news we find.  Still she has labeled three file folders with little tabs.

First File:  Hell YES!

I sense a bad attitude here
Last Friday I talked about Shena Hardin, the Cleveland woman that drove on the sidewalk every morning to avoid stopping for the school bus.  She was sentenced to stand on the corner holding a sign. 

I am a bit conflicted how this story should be filed.  We (me and my crabby alter-ego, Crabby Pants) are super happy that the idiot...her words not mine.. got a ticket for her rock star move of driving on the sidewalk rather than stopping for the school bus BUT we are tempted to throw it in the "Hell No" file because she doesn't appear terribly remorseful.

Second File: Hell NO!

A Cincinnati judge must have been disappointed with the response she received when trying to work our a deal with Damaine Mitchell. Mitchell was in court Wednesday charged with trafficking marijuana.

Judge Melba Marsh stressed that she was willing to work with Mitchell by offering him a treatment program in lieu of going to jail.  She, offered that his record would be expunged as well, if he completed the program and gave up smoking pot.

Mitchell responded, "That's going to be hard for me to do, to be honest with you. I like smoking weed.  ( have to admire his honesty)  After further discussion with the judge about the requirements of his quitting, Mitchell made an unusual request...if she would allow him time to smoke one a joint before being returned to jail.

Judge Marsh, said that she had never been asked for marijuana in her court before.  She hasn't determined how she will handle his case.  Mitchell is due back in court on Monday.

Asking the judge...while she is considering your fate...for weed, might not be be a tactical maneuver. While it may not aide Mitchell as far as his sentencing goes,  it probably provided the judge with a fun story about her work day. 

Third File: What the Hell Were They Thinking

A Bangkok man was admitted to hospital after injecting his penis with unlicensed olive oil (olive oil needs a license in Thailand ???) The purpose of the injections were to enlarge his penis but as a result he had developed an infection causing his testicles to swell to the size of grapefruits.

To be fair, the article did point out that there was some that doubted the infection was caused by the injections. But olive oil penis injections have been problematic in other men. In 1995 a death was blamed on the procedure. (What? This is a trend or something?)

Notice that I didn't get carried away with pictures on this one.  Count on me to be super classy with my stories.  Seems there is a great debate on the procedure of shooting up olive oil...well at least into your penis.  Here's a thought...don't. 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

Blogs and Bunnies

Thought Number One: Updating Aesop

Remember when you were little, all the stories that you read or  that were read to you that had a "moral" message.

Some of those might have been written by Aesop. Do any of you remember Aesop Fables?

Aesop was a slave and a story teller that lived in Greece between 620 and 560 BC.  He is credited with writing hundreds of stories for the purpose of teaching moral lessons.  Exactly how many stories he wrote is unclear but some sources cite 337.

Apollonius, a 1st century philosopher, said of Aesop:

" those that dine well off the plainest dishes, he made use of humble incidents to teach great truths, and after serving up a story he adds to it the advice to do a thing or not to do it.  Then, too, he was really more attached to the truth than the poets are; for the latter do violence to their own stories in order to make them probable; but he by announcing a story which everyone knows not to be true, told the truth by the very fact that he did not claim to be relating real events."

That little semi-colon infused bit of wisdom was taken out of Life of Apollonius of Tyara Book V:14 As fun as reading about Apollonius' life might be, I can only hope that means Verse 14 and not Volume 14.

While the story I am focusing on for today's post is the Tortoise and the Hare, you might remember others as well.  The Lion and the Mouse, City Mouse County Mouse, The Grasshopper and the Ant...pretty much name any two animals and there is a story on the list.  I am very curious how Aesop could work in all this writing while doing his day job...being a slave and all. I was saying... For over 2000 years we have been telling and retelling stories for the sole purpose of teaching values. 

BUT...for all the versions and creative change-ups, it is apparent that the message no longer applies as it was originally written.  

It would seem by today's standards that winning is everything and there are no "morals" built into the story.

Revisions to The Tortoise and the Hare

Right out of the box, we would have to change the name to Bunnies and Turtles. If the story is to be geared for young kids, they are sure to question the word Hare.  Can you blame them? No...I didn't think so.

Secondly, there isn't a prayer we would be writing about some bunny in the vein of telling it  not to take an early lead.  What is wrong with Bunny's coach?   If that rabbit is pooping out, he isn't training hard enough or drinking his 5 Hour Energy Drink, eating the right proportion of carbs to protein, ...and has he not been using his P90X.   Something is terribly wrong with Bunny if he can't keep up the pace to the finish line. Perhaps, there is a performance supplement (wink, wink) that Bunny could get from a "friend".

As for Turtle's coach... When is his contract due and what is it going to cost the organization to replace him?  The only reason a coach would tell a racer to take it slow is if  he has a bet on the outcome.... with his guy losing. Note to coach: You are not seriously telling your guy to take it slow in a race. Clearly you are insane. IT'S A RACE!  

Thought Number Two:  Too Much Bunny, Not Enough Turtle

As I look back and look at the progression of "the lengths people have taken to be #1, I would suggest that everyone on the planet should have a certain amount of Bunny.  There is something to be said for being assertive and determined.  Sure...if you are a all means...RACE.

BUT, let's not get over zealous and lose track of a pesky little thing like ethics.  Yes, winning is nice but be strategic and smart.  Steady-eddy sure and play by the rules.   Bring out your inner Turtle!

It could be said that I am a Bunny.

No, I don't have the required attributes to be that sort of  Bunny but I am the sort of Bunny that believes in "getting things done". If I were in a race with a Turtle, I would of shot out of the gate and I would have judged him harshly as being a slacker.

Ya Snooze Ya Lose!

The Early Bird Catches the Worm

He who hesitates is lost.

click to enlarge

Ultimately having too much Bunny and no Turtle leads to a really sad ending.

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Friday, November 9, 2012

Are You Confused? I Am!

Dear Readers:

Just a quick note to you about your email subscriptions.  As of late, my email subscribers have not been receiving my new posts.  I take this very seriously as most of you have been loyal readers.  Today, I have reset my email options, in order to try to reset the functionality of this service.  Hopefully, you got an email with a synopsis of the last few posts that might not of made it your way.

Feel free to email me directly, if you continue not to receive my emails and I will try some other changes to see if I can't get my posts to you.

There, also, seems to be a problem with people not being able to leave comments.  If you aren't able to comment on the bottom of my blog....please feel free to email me to let me know and I will continue my efforts to get that corrected.

Still the very conflicted and now very annoyed,

Cheryl P.

Learning from Our Mistakes

Before, I get started today...a little blog glitch has come to light here at The Art of Being Conflicted.  For those of you that subscribe to my blog via email, there seems to be a problem with new posts being sent out. I have been working all week to try to figure out the problem but as of's still a problem.
I appreciate all my readers and hope until this is corrected soon In the meantime, I hope that you will bookmark me or put me on your favorites to manually check for new posts. I have reset the gadget to launch emails. You might try re-entering your email address, just to see if that helps. OR... Maybe the blog fairy will come and fix it in the middle of the night like she sometimes does. 

Anyway...on to today's topic.

"Experience is the name every one gives to their mistakes."   Oscar Wilde

"A man's errors are his portals of discovery."    James Joyce

 Driven to Distraction

You might remember last month the video that was on all the news programs, showing Shena Hardin, driving on the sidewalk to avoid a stopped school bus.  She had been doing this every morning, much to the annoyance of the driver and students. The driver of the bus called the cops to have them waiting and watching in the event she continued to do her little off-street maneuver.  The following morning the bus driver and students were sitting, filming and waiting for the "gotcha" moment.

On Monday of this week, a Cleveland Municipal Judge handed down the consequences of her actions with sentencing her to holding a sign on two consecutive mornings for one hour each day, at an intersection near where she took her "self-directed" detour.

The sign read: Only an idiot drives on a sidewalk to avoid a school bus"

In addition, Hardin's license was suspended for 30 days and she was ordered to pay $250.00 in court costs.

Is is just me, or do you think she got off easy?  I don't know what the appropriate punishment should be but I am still thinking about it.  I am not thinking that the 2 hours of sign holding is opening her discovery portal quite enough to suit me.

Doing a Public Service

Earlier this week, an Indiana man, Edward Kirk III,  was stopped by officials as he ran down the street screaming that he was being chased by dinosaurs. Upon further investigation, the 19 year old told the Greenfield Police that after taking some hits of LSD that the aliens at his apartment along with the dinosaurs were perusing him.  He took the officers back to his apartment to show them the aliens.

Edward was very cooperative as drug dealers go, showing the police his stash of drugs which included over 1000 hits of LSD and  his makeshift lab.

During the time the police spent with Edward, he filled them in on how he makes his money.  He explained that by making LSD he is really "doing the people's work" and that the whole world should trip as it is really great.

Edward was charged with several felonies and misdemeanor drug charges.

I found it interesting that several of the news write ups included the added information that neither aliens nor dinosaurs were found in the apartment.  Good to know!

 Lessons Learned From the Recent Election

Relax...I am not talking about left or right, this party or that...I am talking about the two winners that had the unique qualification of being dead.  Yes,  there were two candidates that have the distinction of having won their races and being deceased.  Florida Democrat Earl K. Wood and Alabama Republican Charles Beasley both won their races by comfortable margins.

Wood died at 96 during his campaign for a 12th term as Orange County Tax Collector in Orlando, FL.
He died of natural causes.

Beasley, 77 died on October 12th, possibly due to an aneurysm, while trying to win a seat on the Bibb County Commission in central Alabama. He won with 52 percent of the vote. His opponent, Walter Sansing, is said to be taking the loss hard.  Mr. Sansing said "It's a touchy situation.  When you are running against a dead man, you are somewhat limited about what you can say."

Ask me! Ask Me! I know what he could of said.  "Don't Vote For the DEAD guy!" While the reason this happened is that people voted straight tickets and didn't pay attention about not voting for the deceased perhaps this might of helped:

Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Sum of All Wisdom

Quotes...those little ideas written out in the form of a sentence of two that convey a bit of philosophy or wisdom.  Has anyone other than me noticed the PROLIFERATION of quotes. Who knew that great wisdom was so readily available?

Thought Number One:  Words of Wisdom

I was reading an article in the New York Times recently that the Quotes Catagory that was started in July on Pinterest has now garnered more than 10 per cent of Pinterest's total traffic. In the article, it went on to say that all these little inspirational items that we are picking up on the big three: Twitter, Facebook, and Pinterest, are the modern day equivalent to philosophizing. It actually has a name: Pop Philosophy.

Cherylocrates stands among the great philosophers

So for today, Cheryocrates is going to send some profound philosophy your way.

Off to a good start, aren't I?    Are you awed and amazed at how profound I can be.

Turns out that Facebook and Cherylocrates make a great team.  Are you feeling  awash with wisdom?

Oh, so children's rhyming can be philosophical, huh?

Oopsie...seems some inspiration comes with four letter words. Which brings us to the next great tidbit of
"brain food" to feast upon.

I see that maybe Cherylocrates is spiraling down the drain in the quality of great philosophical thoughts.

Oh, wait, first I have you swearing and now I have you in jail.  This isn't going as well as I thought it would.

Thought Number Two: A Word to the Wise: Don't Quote Me On That

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Friday, November 2, 2012

Odd Twists

This week as I looked around my usual places to see what odd or unusual happenings have transpired in the last 7 days, I noticed a lot of "same old" crazy.  However, there are always a few little quirky details that set some stories apart.  So today I am offering up "Crazy with a twist."

Surprise, Surprise!

Jay Conolly, a 29 year old that was serving a jail sentence in the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office Jail, was taken pity on by a 69 year old female (her name is being withheld).  The woman had been doing volunteer work in the facility where Jay was incarcerated.

Surprise! A crook that's not honest???
The woman paid the bail for Connelly and agreed to let him stay at her home in a gated community in Surprise, AZ.  According to a report at Fox news, the woman said she thought the two would get married.

On Thursday, however, Connolly and a lady friend, Candy Dean, overpowered the woman, bound her, stole her cell phone, gun, purse and car.  Connolly and Dean were apprehended the next morning and charged with kidnapping, aggravated robbery, theft, and theft of means of transportation. 

It could be said that I am a cynic....and often is.  When I read the part about  a 69 year old bailing out a 29 year old and taking him home, I had my doubts.  I wasn't at all surprised that things didn't turn out quite like she expected.  What did surprise me, that it happened in Surprise, AZ. 

Speaking of Jails

After 10 AM and  Kierran is still snoozing.
A man from the UK, Kierran Batchelor, was caught burglarizing homes last February. After being tried, he was sentenced to a suspended sentence and probation.  On his release from jail in April he posted to Facebook "IV JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL, IM F**KIN BUZZIN!!!"   Evidently his buzz didn't last very long as he didn't bother to check in with his probation officer.

According to Batchehlor, the 10 AM meetings weren't agreeing with his sleep patterns.  When he was brought back into court he asked the judge to put him in he could sleep in.

Batchelor was sentenced to 40 weeks in jail.  He thanked the judge on the way out.

Either Keirran has a Vitamin B shortage or he is very confused about the purpose of jails.

Would Your Life Make a Great Movie?

On "My Life Is a Lifetime Movie" viewers met Barbara Reifel.  Her husband is serving time for stealing body parts.  Yeh,....body parts.

I considered Lop N many choices for a "parts" store.

After becoming addicted to pain killers, Michael Mastromarino,  started his entrepreneurial venture to sell body parts, bones  and tissue.  Not only did Micheal choose  rather unconventional products but some of his merchandise was diseased with Hepatitis, HIV and cancer.  Still he managed to make over  4 million dollars in 4 years. He was eventually  caught and sentenced to 58 years in prison.

According to one of the investigators in the case,  it was stated that he stole parts from more than 1000  bodies and neglected to get permission from any of them.  (I am serious...that is what the investigator was quoted as saying)

I don't know if I am more shocked at the fact that the 1000 or so bodies failed to give their permission or if a person can peddle 4 million dollars worth of body parts for 4 years and no one noticed something was amiss. I might be wrong, but I think  if Lifetime Movies reaches out to you, you might have a problem.

What a Clown

Ronald McDonald has admitted to following his ex- wife into a McDonalds.  A 50 year old man from Britain, that has the same name as the fast food icon,  had been served with a retraining order last September after assaulting his wife and another woman.

However, Ronald wasn't to be deterred by some restraint and decided to  follow her around. On one of his little stalk-abouts,  he followed her into the Westwood Cross McDonalds. He, also sent her a text. Both actions violated the restraining order.

Ronald received an 86 day sentence for failing to adhere to the order and is forbidden from contacting his wife for the next three years. (this, of course, remains to be seen as he seems to follow orders so well.)

Poor Ronald McDonald, now has the reputation for being a wife beater and probably isn't welcome at the local McDonalds.