Have you ever wondered if comments that you made in passing or thoughts you posted online, were received in the manner you meant them?
It seems that this week, I am both the receiver and the deliverer of ill-conceived comments.
Thought Number One: You Might of Phrased that a Tad Better
Several times this past week, I have found myself irritated at what I know to be comments made in passing. The commenters in each case, didn't mean anything personal but, never the less, I felt a pinch.
|sweetest cat ever!!|
A month later, she had lost a pound. On a seven pound cat that is a lot of weight loss. More tests ensued... still nothing showed up. Another pound was lost.
My vet referred me to a specialist. An endoscopy, a CT scan and a biopsy later, we were told the sad news that Carmen has a very aggressive cancer in her nasal passages. Radiation would be far worse than the cancer, but there is a medicine available to inhibit the growth of the tumors in the short term. Carmen is now being pampered in our own little version of hospice until we deem other actions need to be taken.
Then... a friend who really was trying to console me, mentioned a member of her extended family had just lost a dog. She said she was sympathetic as she knew losing a pet is difficult. She said she was tempted to get her family member a cat but her family hates cats.
Now...I know neither of those people were trying to be cruel or insensitive but, of course, I am overly sensitive right now on the subject.
Which leads me back to the idea...there is such a fine line between what we deem innocuous comments and comments that possibly are hurtful or offensive.
Thought Number Two: Misinterpretations
BUT....a couple of days ago I left a comment on a blog that was "in part" misinterpreted and "in part" not written as concisely as I should have written it. It might not be apparent by my various posts, but I try my best not to be unkind. My comment wasn't meant to offend or be rude. I tend to think that is how it was received. After reading the blog author's response, I sincerely wished: 1. That I hadn't left a comment. 2. That I had written that comment differently.
(BTW...fellow, bloggers...I appreciate those of you that have contact emails available so if there are thoughts that we would share outside of wanting them to appear on the comment section. Some of my best comments come from those of you that email me directly.)
But in most cases of making "less than tactful" comments, usually there is no
|Everything is open to interpretation.|
I had a friend that had the unfortunate habit of every time she was upset by anyone or anything, she would immediately go home and shoot off an email to "state her case." This caused her immeasurable pain in the long run. Often she was remorseful about her ill-advised emails and lamented that she had to quit doing that.
Seven years ago, she and her daughter had a disagreement. In her usual manner, she sent off a volatile email bringing up every old wound she could think of. The daughter, responded by blocking her phone, emails and every other form of contact. Oh, my friend tried, hundreds of times to apologize through a myriad of ways....to no avail. Then my friend died last September. Her daughter did not come to the funeral.
I have to say, I saw the original email and while tactless, it wasn't the worst exchange I have ever seen between mothers and children, so I fault the daughter on being extremely overreationary. Still...how does anyone know how the other person perceived something without the sake of a two-way, face-to-face conversation?
Times are a' changin' as far as the bravado of commentary and the apparent over-reaction to those comments thanks in part to people being able to remain somewhat anonymous, the widespread availability of ways to instantly send your thoughts to someone, and the ease of use of electronic messaging...all allow for people to say exactly what they want to say with no filters.
Be aware though, those thoughts that you send out might in time cause you regret in some form. OR maybe you feel perfectly justified in saying whatever you feel like saying.....Just keep in mind, you may have wounded someone with your misguided barbs.
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