Crabby Pants and Cheryl P. are awfully busy today rounding up all those receipts and such to figure out how much "who owes who" so today, we are posting a post from a couple years ago. For those of you that have been long time readers, hope you aren't bored with old information.
Today is the day!. April 15th is here and I just wanted to help you out by offering up a couple of ideas for last minute deductions.
Disclaimer - these ideas are to be used at your own risk (risk of an audit and risk being thought of as an idiot). I got my information off of the ever reliable, never wrong on any subject, have to believe it because I read it and it looked accurate enough to have me repeat it, Internet. I am not an accountant, don't want to be an accountant, worry about why anyone would be an accountant and can hardly add simple numbers
together so would make a miserable accountant. Never the less here are my "last minute deductions" advice to you. Take them or leave them. I don't really care as I don't have to pay your tax bill. I am just out here trying to be helpful.
1. OK, the first deduction that you might want to go after is the "Get Yourself Some New Boobs" deduction.
Well, Chesty Love (I am not making that up) went on the Jerry Springer show a few years ago after she challenged the IRS and won. She claimed her breast implants were a business expense and that her chest size was impacting her ability to earn more money. The IRS agreed and the new boobs were deductible.
I am thinking if you want to try for this particular deduction be prepared to be audited. I would suggest that you bring a boom box and a g string to the audit.
2. If you happen to be a drug dealer and I am not saying you are, there are a few deductions you might want to take. According to publication 17 you are supposed to list money earned through criminal activity on your 1040 line 21. If you list it (that is if you are stupid enough to list it) by rights you could deduct things you purchased to do your business. Soooo ....If you had to buy guns, satchels, baggies, (heck, what all do you guys need to do your business?) you could deducts those. I caution you though if you are deducting your equipment for the meth lab and you blow up your house, I suspect that the damage can't be considered a loss. Do check with an accountant though. Since, I have never been a drug dealer or blown up my house, I am not 100 per cent on that.
3. For those of you that are self employed out there and have set up a corporation...what if...you hold your annual "convention" in the Bermuda. This island is more than just a scenic place to visit. It's also a great place to schedule a tax write-off. Other countries in the Caribbean region qualify, too, including Barbados, Costa Rica, Dominica, the Dominican Republic, Grenada, Guyana, Honduras, Jamaica, and Trinidad and Tobago. Meetings held in Canada, Mexico and all U.S. possessions also receive this favorable tax treatment. Now, again, I have to remind you I am an idiot so don't just take my word for it but I got this little bit of wisdom off of the Turbo Tax web site. Shouldn't they know this crap?
4. OK, my last little nugget of wisdom. This is for any of you out there that are in the middle of a nasty divorce. Before the nasty "thang" that you are dumping sends a truck over to retrieve his/her share of your worldly goods, load it all up....yeah, all of it...and bring it over to the Salvation Army or Goodwill or whoever your favorite charity is. Get yourself a receipt for it. You can deduct up to 50 percent of your adjusted gross income for charitable deductions. Be prepared to itemize all of your ex's stuff though. Quite a savings for you, don't you think? Better yet, quite an aggravation for the sh** you are dumping. Win, Win.
OK, there a just a few of the endless possibilities of tax deductions for you. Be sure you pay all you owe but take any deductions that are legitimately yours. Life isn't always fair but your taxes should be.