Monday, June 27, 2016

I'm Hot and Not in a Good Way

I'm taking a blog detour this morning.  Yes, I was on a path to tell you about a little 5 day va-cay I took to Chicago last week. Not that you are missing anything of interest, really by me abandoning my original post.

A sign I noticed while walking in Chicago

(Brief synopsis) Hubby left Canada and had some business in Chicago, so I decided to take advantage of joining him so I could  hang out in a company paid hotel and escape the heat wave currently hovering over Kansas. I have become a bit tired of and dare I say, "cranky" with the 100 degree temperatures that seem to be stuck over the plain states. OH, and let's not forget heat index of 110 degrees. Humidity is the devil.

It's never a good sign when  a person such as myself is watching the dangerous rescue of the two scientists in Antarctica and thinking that they might want to rethink leaving depending on where they were being taken.  Lack of empathy might be one of the symptoms of one's brain being "crock potted".

So instead of telling you 25 reasons why I think living in a one-bedroom king suite at Candlewood Suites is far superior to buying a "tiny house" or why walking in forest preserves in Chicago in 82 degrees is heaven-like compared to the current hell-like conditions in Kansas City, you will have to hear about the unpleasant turn of event upon my arrival home.

Now, if you haven't picked up on the subtle references thus far about me not liking to sweat, let's just let me state clearly...HEAT and HUMIDITY are not my friends.

Sooo...after 5 lovely days hanging around Chicago, we return to Kansas with the temperature hovering at 100 (YUCK) degrees.  I normally wouldn't care so much but as luck (and I mean bad luck) would have it, after catching up with some chores like yard work and laundry, we realize that house isn't cooling down even though it appears our central air is running full tilt.  This isn't a good sign.

No worries though...I am a sucker for "extend service warranties".  I know, I know, you are all rolling your eyes and making tsking sounds at me.  I don't blame you at this point.  BUT STILL...yearly, I am enticed by my heating and air company's promise that I will be the first in line in the event of air conditioner or furnace failure.  I have a lovely little certificate that comes in the mail after they receive my yearly payment that makes promises...lots and lots of promises.

I am still optimistic when I call them on a Friday night at 9:00 PM to explain that my upper floor is now registering 81 degrees and I would appreciate them honoring my GOLD STAR SERVICE WARRANTY PLAN for 24 hour emergency service on my AC unit.

The woman on the other end of the line, I think was laughing.  I am not entirely sure as she may of been coughing, crying, eating, drinking, or choking but after she composed herself she explained that I shouldn't be expecting even a call back until TUESDAY.

The fact, my head didn't spin full 360 degree rotations while I scream "ARE YOU F****** KIDDING ME??? gives you some indication of my level of restraint. I am saving my rage for someone that is not the call center girl.  I want to save my screaming for someone that has a position that counts.

Then.... much to my surprise, Sunday I did receive a call from  the "liar, liar, pant's on fire (probably because their AC crapped out) company, to say they will send someone over on Tuesday to (hopefully) repair my AC.  When I mentioned, that I was finding their GOLD STAR SERVICE WARRANTY more than lacking, I got a speech about this "unusual" weather pattern.  Let's just again notice my super-power like restraint for not pointing out that every summer in Kansas is like this and she's a dumb bitch.

Here's the thing's not like I couldn't go get a hotel room for 3 nights but then WHY should I?  I have more than the cost of 3 days in a hotel wrapped up in this stupid service plan. I prefer to I wait patiently and perfect my skill of sweating.  By Saturday night, the upper floor is 86 degrees. (NOTE: Now, I will tell you that this house has a finished lower level that remains comfortably cool, so it could be said that I am being a super-duper, spoiled brat about this non-functioning air conditioner.)

 I am not naive to the fact that for thousands of years people survived without central air.

Wonder if Cleopatra had trouble getting her service guys to show up.

 BUT...IT'S THE PRINCIPLE OF THE THING.  I paid hundreds of dollars for a service plan that seems to do the same thing as NOT having a service plan.

I recognize that it's always a pain when  someone pulls out the "it's the principle"  excuse for being stubborn and unyielding but in my current state of "wait", I am not being my sweetest self.  Today, I am prepared to believe that  my HVAC company uses the acronym for Hate and Venom All Consuming and they  are seriously pissing me off.

Maybe by Tuesday...if and when someone...ANYONE...fixes my air conditioner, then maybe a well return to my cooler, calmer self.

Yes, let's hope that Tuesday cooler heads will prevail.  If not you can safely assume that I will be even hotter...and not in a good way.



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