Friday Around the Water Cooler

Time for us to meet at the water cooler and hash  over some of the week's most  chat worthy stories.

This week's news loop

Let's just get the big one put away.  I mean "the story"  not " the wiener"...but I understand  the confusion.   Anthony Weiner has resigned today so the story should start to lose some of it's momentum.  Still, the story made a strong presence in this week's news reports.

As you might remember from a previous post, I have this "theory" that the network news programs tape three or more big stories and just keep them on a  continual film loop.  They save a lot of money as they use the same videos over and over and over. Also, this gives the anchors time to go back in the green room and take a nap.  As a viewer it allows you to watch about 20 minutes of news any given day and pretty much keep you informed.  Well...maybe NOT  totally informed because you might have missed a few "under" reported stories.

That is where I come in every  Friday...errr  most Fridays...OK when I happen to be in the mood on Friday...to bring to light those little news worthy items you might have missed. 

This week the news loop was Weinergate, the trial of Casey Anthony and the flooding situation along the Missouri River.  (Does anyone find it odd that the two big stories this week involve an Anthony?...OK...it's just me that finds these little coincidences "strange")

Garden Gnomes, Beware!

There was the unfortunate shooting of a alligator in Independence, Missouri.  Independence is in the Kansas City metro so I had a front row seat to this one.

The Independence police received a call from a man saying his son had spotted a gator in a creek.  Police arrived on the scene and with the aid of the Missouri Conservation Dept. attempted to put down the alligator.  A local TV station reported after two shots were fired the officers realized they were dealing with a concrete gator.

Now the real fun of this story wasn't so much the fact that the officers mistook the gator for being real. That, actually was just a "bonus" of fun.  The real fun are the comments when Fox news interviewed the alligator's owner.

Rick Sheridan was on the news saying "The officer fired two rounds, and killed my concrete, ornamental alligator.  I'm a little shocked that the first option for handling a gator is to blast it with a shotgun. Still, if we're talking lawn gnomes, I wouldn't mind blasting one of those underwear-thieving fuc***. They have it coming."

That just cracks me up.  Killed??? And silly me, I wasn't aware of the tendency of Garden Gnomes to steal underwear.  I guess if I have occasion to walk by a Garden Gnome in the future, I will be holding tightly to my under garments.

Truly, I am not making this up.  Here is the link for you.  The story about the concrete gator


.

Another story in the news this week...

Texas Justice

A man in Texas, while on parole for sex crimes  (some which involved children), broke into a rural house armed with a knife and proceeded to attack a 77 year old woman.   During the course of raping her he complained he wasn't feeling well.  After he rolled off of her, she believed that the man had passed out from being drunk, she escaped and called the Corpus Christi Sheriff's office.  It turns out the 53 year old rapist, had died of a heart attack. 

I am thinking this is a wonderful example of Karma...and she didn't waste anytime getting this guy taken care of.

Wart Removal Method Guaranteed to Work 

A Security guard from South Yorkshire shot himself in the hand to try to remove a wart from his finger.

Sean Murphy, 38, lost most of his left middle finger after using the stolen 12-bore Beretta shotgun at a garden centre in Doncaster. (I am here to tell you he is really going to miss that particular finger.)

He was charged in the incident for using an illegal firearm and given a 16 week suspended prison sentence.
Murphy, who subsequently lost his job from Markham Grange Nurseries, said that the good news is that he got rid of the wart. He had tried a number of remedies to no avail and the wart was causing him pain. He said it never occurred to him that he would lose most of his finger and there wasn't enough of it left to reattach it.  There was some question as to whether he might of had something to drink that afternoon.

For more on that story you could click here.



One more for good measure, my blogee readers....

He was doing what??? while he was driving???

A lawsuit is going to trial this coming week in Fairfax County, Virginia.  The Defendant, a man from Woodbridge, was convicted in Fairfax district court of drunken driving on the Beltway last year which resulted in an accident.  Now he is being sued by one of the victims of the accident for $75,000.00.

The Washington Post did not give much information as to the pertinent facts of the collision but they are releasing some of the documentation.

Paragraph 10. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”

Paragraph 12. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.”

Paragraph13. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”

Paragraph 14. “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.”

A couple of things about this story I am finding interesting.  Driving 85 miles an hour,  while having sex, while drunk and half  or all the way in the back seat.  Either this guy is the greatest multitasker on the planet or the biggest idiot in the universe.   I am leaving it up to you to decide.

 

The Good for the Week... The Texas rapist get zapped with a heart attack might be considered good in a very slanted perspective.

Interstate 29 is closed at the Crescent Exit in Iowa

The Bad for the Week... The flooding that is impacting all the areas around the Missouri River.  My son-in-law #1 sent some pictures today.  Here is one that shows the rising waters closing down Interstate 29.

The Weird for the Week...Pretty much any of this week's stories



Seems Chuck Berry didn't have the same skills that the Woodbridge driver had. He was just leaning over to whisper in her ear.   I guess Chuck wasn't aware you could get in the backseat and drive at the same time.

Are We Making Progess?

Lindsay Lohan does it while she is in jewelry stores. Newt Gingrich does it.  Ashton Kutcher and Demi Moore do it a lot.  Chris Lee and Anthony Weiner did it and caused a ruckus. 

I have done it but frankly, I just don't get the point of it. I am, of course, talking about the  ugly little half-sister to Facebook, TWITTER.

Would someone, please explain the enjoyment of Twitter to me?   Why do people want to put the limitation on their communication at 140 characters?  Who even came up with that number?

Did the developer say something to the effect " Gosh, I think anything over 140 letters and spaces  is just tooo much information.  Shut up already! Really, man, if you can't say what needs to be said in about 20 words, just keep your mouth shut."

Periodically, I go over to my Twitter account  (@veryconflicted) to see what funny one liners have come my way.  I follow 7 people.  Most of those 7 are famous comedians.  Now that in it self, pretty much would limit me from wanting to tweet anything.  Who am I to go up against the professionals?

As for just being one of the lemmings that hang out over at Twitter,  looking around, I have noticed things that do make me smile...occasionally make me laugh. 

Sometimes there are tweets that touch on current events. In this category there are tweets, which I might add is not for the faint of heart and  are not particularly funny.

(**For disclosure:  This is a fictitious Twitter feed as I didn't want to dirty up my site with the likes of you-know-who and are sick-of-hearing-his-name.)

One of my biggest objections, behind the whole 140 character restriction, is the "subtle" but very real rejection...exclusion  being perpetrated  by the "big time" Twitter accounts holders.  The poor rejected followers don't even realize that they are summarily being kicked to the curb.

Think of it this way....Some accounts have millions of followers  but they only follow a very few of their followers.  (This might be confusing so here are some examples)  Conan O'Brien has 3,259, 555 followers, he on the other hand follows...one person.  Well now, over 3 million people are interested in what quick little short bits of inspired thoughts he is thinking and he is interested in what one person might have on his/her mind. (who would that be??? His wife? Jay Leno?? hmmm)

Even Lady Gaga, who currently holds the top spot with 10,875,986 followers, is currently following 143,157 of her closest pals. Still, for you nearly 11 million friends that are hanging out to see her tweets, most of you aren't really part of her inner circle.  You do get that, right??? If this was a Dodge Ball game, she is not picking you to be on her team!!!!


After numerous stories of the stupid things people do on the Internet that get them into serious trouble, I was thinking "What would  things  have looked like if all of this Tweeting and Facebook friending had started in the middle of the 19th Century.  What if, people like Poe, Wadsworth or Frost were limited to 140 characters when they had a thought?  Would they want to share these little epiphanies with their pals?  Would they ever have finished one of their poems, if they had to write them in 140 character increments? Would there be crotch shots, or maybe ankle shots of the hussies?  Would there be shocking statements dealing with bloomers or petticoats? 


Is this what Twitter would have look like in the mid 1800's for a few creative friends, just thinking some interesting thoughts and tweeting them to their friends....

So, I welcome your comments to explain, why you use Twitter and why you enjoy it.  Why isn't this the same thing as emails and texting that wouldn't limit you to 140 characters.  Feel free to tweet me at @veryconflicted as it may be the one and only time anyone actually tweets to that account.  Or just comment or email me...whatever is your thing.

The Good for the Day...Social media can be fun and seemingly a lot of people understand it better than I do.

The Bad....Overuse, using rudely, sending offensive crap that can get you in trouble, morons that don't use it correctly,  and the list goes on and on and on.

The Weird of the Day...The ladies over at the View were talking about the tweeted pictures of Anthony Weiner and Barbara Walters said and "the pictures of the Congressman were very flattering...you're saying ...uh uh ...no she dihn't...yes she did.  You can watch this on Youtube or ABC. It is the Hot Topics section of the program aired on June 7th.   Flattering??? Really Barbara?? You are losing it!!!



When Did That Become a Bad Thing?

Two Thoughts for Tuesday










First thought for the Day...I have upon occasion been referred to as a "Gym Rat".  Frankly, among the things I have been called.... not so bad.  Until yesterday that is. In the past, I haven't been particularly offended by being called a gym rat and overall find gyms to be a pretty interesting place.
 I have gone to quite a few and while I  find each to have a slightly different atmosphere about them there are certainly some similarities as well.

Most gyms have some or all of these groups

The Serious Body Builders...They check themselves out in front of the mirror often, they hog the overhead cables and the Smith Machine, they aren't really ever rude because they don't notice anyone else in the room. (well unless it is one of the Beauty Queens) They usually wear muscle shirts and gym shorts, but they look so great you might not really be paying attention to their outfits.  Their upper arms are the size of a normal woman's thigh and sometimes sport a tattoo. The ones that compete (body building competitions) are completely hairless.  They have been waxed more than any hairy woman at a day spa.

The Beauty Queens ....This is pretty self explanatory, they are pretty, they always just wear sports bras (and they are spectacular, if you know what I mean) and spandex shorts.  Usually they are tan and their shoes look like they are brand new...always.


The "Used to be Beauty Queens and Football Heroes"...This is the older version of the Super Body Builders and Beauty Queens...Both the men and women still are good looking and fit. Now the women  no longer come in just sport bras and spandex but they are in matching warm up suits (sometimes velour).  The men, also have warm up suits with logos.  The Nike swoosh is abundant as well as the Addidas logo.  Their shoes still always look new.

The Coffee Clique minus the coffee...They are there to meet  their buds and have a chat fest. They usually surround  a piece of equipment.  They especially like the incline benches as it is sorta, kinda like sitting on a chaise lounge.

The "I've Let Myself Go and I am on a Mission" Group-  I have been in this group more than once myself, so I have great respect for this crowd. You can tell them by the fact they look like they are ready to die, but they keep on going.

The Fit and Feisty Group...They are there to workout, not socialize. They are in usually in very good shape physically but they invariably look like crap.  They crawled out of bed and made their way to the gym prior to cleaning up.  Their shoes look well used and their T-shirts say things like "I walked for the March of Dimes". (in other words whatever free Tee they could get their hands on)  Although this week I saw a woman that had a black Tee with large letters that said "Don't talk to Me" which I suspect wasn't a free one.

The Clueless Group..They are foreigners in gym land and are totally lost.  You can tell this group because they are using the equipment in some novel way that no one had discovered prior to their doing it that way. The great thing about this group is they reappear at some point in the Fit and Feisty group..well if they can stick with it long enough. 

The Trainers.. You can tell the trainer by looking at their rockin bodies and plus they will be with a client. They normally carry clipboards and they are usually (99 out of 100 times) fun and nice.

And last but not least The Older Crowd....There are usually a group of elderly people there for the sake of keeping active or sometimes rehab for injuries or illnesses.  I consider them the cute group.  Especially the older couples that walk the track together.  I love to see them.

(Note...what I consider the older crowd are the people in their late 70's and upward, the teenagers consider the 50+ year olds the older crowd.)

All of these groups that hit the gym every day or every other day could have been called a Gym Rat...until yesterday when things changed a bit.

This is Thought number TWO if you are making sure that I am on theme today.

Yesterday on the 5:00 news, there was a picture of a certain Congressman who was censored in the appropriate places with the big logo over him AND the words  Gym Rat  plastered over the bottom of the photo.    HEY, when did gym rat become another name for pervert with absolutely no self control??

Did the 5:00 news just disparage and the body builders, beauty queens, the ex-beauty queens and jocks,  the fit and feisty, the coffee clique, the clueless, the trainers, the older crowd and ME??

At my gym they have a thing called the lunk alarm:  Basically it is a huge button on the wall that you can push if someone is a jerk. It also, goes off by itself if someone drops a really heavy weight. This is what the Lunk Alarm looks like:

I am pushing the Lunk Alarm on anyone who feels the need to take crotch shot photography at their gym. 

Here is another kind of jerk at the gym.  Notice at the very beginning the lunk alarm is sounding already.

The Good for the Day...Usually the people are pretty nice at most gyms

The Bad for the Day...The butt heads that are rude, hog the equipment and have temper tantrums

The Weird for the Day...The guy in the video



Have you had any problems with rude people at the gym?  Or other kinds of problems with the gym?
Send a comment and you will lose all the weight you want or gain if need be. (promises, promises)






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