Wednesday, September 28, 2011
Do You Agree?
I am sure that most of you just clicked the "I agree" box on those websites without much thought or hesitancy. How often do you actually read what you are agreeing to? Surely, you don't read most of them in their entirety because of the length of them. Itunes Terms and Conditions for example is 18 pages long. Yep, EIGHTEEN.
So take heart, my blogees. I have created my own terms and conditions agreement to stay competative and mine is only 1 page. Feel free to ignore all the fine print and just hit the agree button just like you would with the important people's products. Oh, so you are treating me differently! I see how you are.
So here it is.....The Art of Being Conflicted Agreement of Service
THE FACT THAT THERE IS NOTHING LEGAL AND BINDING IN THIS DOCUMENT DOES NOT ALTER THE EFFECTIVENESS OF THIS AGREEMENT. IT IS THE RIGHT OF THE ART OF BEING CONFLICTED TO GOVERN THE READING, LAUGHING, SWEARING, CRINGING, EYEROLLING AND BEING TOTALLY CONFUSED BY ANY SUBJECT MATTER HEREBY WITHIN. IF YOU CHOOSE NOT TO NOT AGREE WITH THE TERMS THAT ARE STATED WITHIN THIS DOCUMENT, DO NOT CHECK THE AGREE BOX AND GO ON ABOUT YOUR BUSINESS.
HEREAFTER THE ART OF BEING CONFLICTED WILL BE REFERRED TO AS TAOBC TO SAVE THE AUTHOR THE EFFORT OF TYPING AND ASSURING HER STATUS AS THE LAZIEST AUTHOR ON THE PLANET.
ALL CONTENT IS USED AT THE DISCRETION OF CHERYL P. AND SHALL NOT BE COPIED FOR THE USE OF MAKING MONEY UNLESS YOU ARE WILLING TO FORK OVER ALL SAID PROFITS TO TAOBC AND IT'S AUTHOR. PAYMENTS WILL BE ACCEPTED IN THE FORM OF COIN, CURRENCY, GOLD, JEWELRY, VISA GIFT CARDS, AMERICAN EXPRESS IN THE GIVER'S NAME WITH AN UNLIMITED CREDIT LINE, NON PERISHABLE FOOD ITEMS, AND GENTLY USED CLOTHING.
SAFETY ISSUES AND CONCERNS
TAOBC IS NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANY INJURIES PROCURED DURING THE READING OF THIS BLOG. TO AVOID MUSCLE, JOINT, OR EYE STRAIN TAKE FREQUENT BREAKS. IF YOU EXPERIENCE FATIGUE: TAKE A NAP, IF YOU HALLUCINATE: GIVE UP THE DRUGS, IF YOUR SPEECH BECOMES SLURRED, YOU SEE DOUBLE, OR BECOME DISORIENTED: PUT DOWN THE BOOZE AND IF YOU BLACKOUT: GET BACK ONLINE WHEN YOU BECOME CONSCIOUS.
PARENTS MONITOR YOUR CHILDREN AS TO ANY CONTENT THAT YOU DEEM INAPPROPRIATE ON TAOBC. THE AUTHOR TAKES NO RESPONSIBILITY FOR THE DELINQUENCY OF YOUR OFFSPRING. CHILDREN MUST BE AT LEAST ONE YEAR OLD, BE ACCOMPANIED BY AN ADULT AND HAVE AT LEAST A SEMBLANCE OF A SENSE OF HUMOR.
IN NO INSTANCE SHALL TAOBC, IT'S DIRECTOR, WRITER, AUTHOR, GATEKEEPER, CHIEF, COOK, AND BOTTLE-WASHER BE HELD LIABLE IN ANY WAY, SHAPE OR FORM FOR ANYTHING UNDER THE SUN, MOON, OR STARS.
ALL ISSUES SHOULD BE DIRECTED TO THE LAW OFFICES OF PHUCKETT, STICKIT, AND SHOVEIT LLC, ATTORNEYS-AT-LAW, 123 MIDDLE DIGIT LANE, SUE CITY, IA
EASY ENOUGH...DON'T STEAL ANYTHING AS NOTHING I HAVE TO SAY IS WORTH STEALING. THE ACTUAL WORD INTELLECTUAL HAS NO PLACE IN RELATIONSHIP TO TAOBC.
ERRORS AND OMISSIONS
BE PREPARED FOR PLENTY OF ERRORS AND BEAU COUP OMISSIONS. THE QUALITY OF WRITING IS DEEMED TO BE LESS THAN RELIABLE AND THE MOTTO QUANTITY IS VALUED OVER QUALITY HAS BEEN APPLIED.
The Good for the Day...now we are all nice and legal and done in only 1 page.
The Bad for the Day... When I was looking on line for a prototype of these types of agreements most of them are rather lengthy. Itunes was 18 pages.
The Weird for the day...some of the content is directly taken from waivers provided by the big players. The muscle, joint and eye strain is in the Itunes waiver. Most of you probably have already agreed to that one.
Whether you decide to agree or decline...I'm leaving it up to you