Tuesday, February 21, 2012

It's Not What You Said But How You Said It


A couple of weeks ago, I did a post about Travel + Leisure magazine's poll of the rudest cities in America.  Not to keep kicking a dead horse, I have a few more things to say in reference to rude people and how I perceive them.

Today  I was reading a blog written by a fellow Kansas Citian,  about the rude fans that surrounded her and her family at a Comets Soccer game.  Two thoughts came out of this. BTW You can check out that blog I was reading if you care to, it is  People I Want to Punch In the Throat. It is the post from Monday called "People we met at the Soccer game.

Thought # 1   Even though, I am conflicted, I am 100% clear on the fact that rude people suck.

As we have talked about in the past, I have a personality of constantly being "conflicted".  No matter what the topic is introduced to my wayward mind, I will start the "pros and cons" list.  The wrong or right...the in and outs of all subjects.  This is not to be confused with you  thinking I don't have my own opinions.  I do.  Just as Dirty Harry said in the movie Dead Pool, "Opinions are like A**holes, everyone has one".  (Didn't Dirty Harry have a way with words?)

Normally, I am open to the tenor of what people say but not necessarily open to the tone in which they deliver the message.  HHHMMMM ....how can I clarify this a bit.  Say whatever trash talk, ill conceived, stupid crap to me that you want and my analytical brain will be searching for the logic to substantiate your point of view.  That is if you are speaking to me politely.  I will promptly dismiss any notion of your point of view...deem it total crap...kick it to the curb...if you are in my face being a jerk.

Here's the deal.  I tend to be both left brained and right brained equally. I tend to be very analytical, logical while being very creative and thinking "outside the box".  NOT only am I both right and left brained, I don't seem to have a dominant personality trait.

 True....no matter how often I take DISC or Brigg Meyers or any other test that is supposed to reveal my personality, I will always come out nearly equal in  all possible categories.  In the DISC test, for example I am equal parts  Dominant, Influential, Steady or Compliant.

Even in my motor skills,  I am ambidextrous.  Both left and right handed.    Unlike most brains that have a dominant side, my brain is up there being all friendly.  Both sides are BFFs.

If you have an opinion, (and we have already established that you do) on any given subject, I am open to hearing it.  That is not to say I will agree with you but I will respectfully listen to you.  As I listen, I will be finding reasons to substantiate why your point of view might be right. Of course, simultaneously,  I will also be checking off the column in my head that is telling me why your opinion is a total load of crap. Still, I will politely listen, offer alternate ideas, listen some more.  It will be really friendly.  (Unless, of course, you tell me something like your are going to kill your Mother-in-law.  Then I will be checking off all the boxes that says that is WRONG, WRONG, ABORT ABORT.   The bitch might need to die but it isn't your place to do it.  That really is being rude on your part.)

The operative word here  to make the world a better place is being POLITE.  When did the world get so very combative?  Not just in opposing opinions but even in social graces.  When did people become so insensitive to the feelings of others?

But I digress....I usually don't take offense at whatever you say to me or how you live your life.  Live and let live is my motto but after reading the post from the blogger dealing with rude sporting events fans, COUPLED WITH A TRIP TO THE WALMART  that has me considering never shopping again, I am feeling the need for civility.

# Thought #2  How is it I didn't know there were two major soccer teams in Kansas City?

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Thechubbychatterbox said...

Cheryl: I just found your blog thanks to The Blog Farm and I think it's great. I really enjoyed "Twp Thoughts for Tuesday." You are funny and a good writer. I also like to entertain with words and I hope you'll visit my blog Chubby Chatterbox. I think we might have a few things in common. When (if) you visit, press the join button and I'll do the same for you. I hope to hear from you.


Cheryl P. said...

Thank you for visiting my blog. I definitely will go over and check out your site. The great thing about the comments area, is that it is a great way to discover new blogs. I think it is getting really hard to find each other in the hundreds of thousands that are out there. I am so glad you let me know about yours. See you over there.

Liggybee said...

I'm kinda lost myself as far as what happened to manners. I agree...there is a lot of rudeness. I wanna blame it on the popular TV shows and reality shows that glamorize bad behavior. People keep watching them and producers keep making them. Aaarrrrgggghhh!!!!

Cheryl P. said...

Those shows are certainly exacerbating the problem. All that bad behavior is being glorified and making the "less than talented" participants into celebrities.

The other part of it is people have just gotten so self centered. I don't expect people to hold a door open for me but I don't expect it slammed in my face either. It makes me crazy.

Wolfbernz said...

Hi Cheryl,

In my opinion...

Drinking a bottle of red wine while munching a chocolate bar and reading your post was a great idea!

You're right, rude people suck!

Nicky said...

So I can't tell you that I want to kill my mother-in-law? Can I tell you that I spent all of Sunday with ALL of my in-laws taking family portrait pictures and let you just use your imagination for the rest of this comment? Please don't abandon me... I'll need a penpal when I'm in jail.

Brahm (alfred lives here) said...

Agree on all counts... rude people suck, and id id to know there were two soccer teams in Kansas city... or any at all... and actually not that certain where Kansas city is, except of course it is presumably within Kansas.

I recently took a personality profile thingy at work, turns out I am very strong on dominance and enthusiasm, low on empathy and compassion. Those morons are off their rockers. Case closed...

Cheryl P. said...

I am here for penpal service if the need arises. You sound like such a trooper getting family portraits done. I did that once with my in-laws years ago. Brutal. I have long hidden the pictures away. No one was killed but a few people in the picture are now EX family members.

Cheryl P. said...

You are not alone with being unfamiliar with Kansas City. Even people in the US are confused. For the most part Kansas City is in Missouri. The Missouri/Kansas state line runs right through the 2.3 million population of metro KC but the big urban core of the city is Missouri. The largest and fastest growing suburbs are in Kansas. So our city has two governments in two different states and two very different city governments. By the way, Kansas City is in the geographical center of the US. Smack dab in the middle.

As for soccer teams, we have an awesome team called Sporting KC that just moved into a 200 Million dollar facility. Yeah 200 mil. As I live in Kansas, I am very familiar with them and the new stadium. Not so far from my house.

I wasn't aware of the Comets. They are on the Missouri side of town.

I know you have no need to know any of this but maybe you will be on a trivia show at some point and win big money because the question will be about KC.

Bodaciousboomer said...

I fear that common courtesy among the masses has gone the way of the dodo bird and dinosaur. And that's a sad thing indeed.

Cheryl P. said...

Oh, about that personality profile. I hate those things. I used to administer those in some classes my company did and they are only as good as the mood you were in when you took the test. Different day, different results. My results are always split between 4 personality types but my level of patience, tolerance and such varies. Aren't we all more patient, compassionate etc. on some days more than others. Kind of dependent on what pissed me off on the morning news.

Cheryl P. said...

It does seem to be an outdated concept. You're right....sad it is.

BobS said...

Boy, I couldn't agree more with what you said. And I certainly share your attitude about how something is presented as well as what is said. Even if I agree with the point someone is trying to make, I get a real resentment when they feel they have to shout it out as if I am too stupid to listen. That just turns me away from their point of view.

There was a time when we wanted to be "one people" and "one culture" and seemed (at least in my mind) to be moving toward that goal with an appreciation for our fellow citizen. Now we seem to be focused on relishing our differences and losing our cohesiveness. That doesn't seem to be working. Then, too, there seems to be this great sense of entitlement sweeping our country. Who knows where that comes from. UGH!

But, like you, rude is rude and I have no qualms about ignoring rude people's ideas. Great post.

Cheryl P. said...

You and I are sooooo on the same page on this one. It makes me really sad and mad (more of my conflictedness) that our society has diverted from a common goal toward a better future to something that seems as "each man for himself/herself nd be damned with anyone in my way" is the trending way of thinking and behaving.

As usual, Bob, I love you taking the time to comment. Thanks

meleahrebeccah said...

"The operative word here  to make the world a better place is being POLITE.  When did the world get so very combative?  Not just in opposing opinions but even in social graces.  When did people become so insensitive to the feelings of others?"


I am all for listening to anyone's opinions, ideas, ect whether or not I agree with them. But if they convey their message rudily or disrespectfully? Conversation OVER.