Friday, April 6, 2012

Let It B, Let It B

Friday is here again and this week there were some interesting Front page stories.  The pictures from the tornadoes that hit Texas were unbelievable.  Eighteen wheelers flying through the air...who can imagine that kind of wind force?  Amazing!

However, the "back page" news stories are not up to their usual numbers.  Why, I wonder?? Are people giving up stupid crime and outrageous behavior for Lent? Is the nicer weather keeping would-be felons otherwise occupied with their gardening or taking walks in the park?  Still there were a few stories that had a little merit and seemingly a lot of the stories had B words in them.  Yes, a very strange phenomenon this week that all the stories were heavy on B words.   Strange week, indeed!

Bank Robber is Told to Come Back

The FBI said an attempted bank robber in Chicago was foiled by a teller who told her the bank was closed and she should come back the following day. (Yes, it was a SHE bank robber, the glass ceiling has been broken in the bank thievery occupation)

The criminal complaint filed Tuesday in U.S. District Court said Olga Perdomo walked into the Albany Bank and Trust on West Lawrence Avenue around 5 p.m. on March 29 and handed a teller a note demanding "all of your money, no cops, no dye pack," the Chicago Tribune reported Wednesday.

However, after reading the note, the teller told the woman the bank was closed and told her to come back the next day.
"The female then left the bank," the complaint said.
The woman, who was seen by a surveillance camera, was spotted by a bank employee walking outside of the establishment with a man around 3:20 p.m. Monday.

Perdomo was arrested and police caught the man she was walking with after a short chase. The man was identified as Willie Weathersby, who officers recognized as a suspect in the robbery of $2,589 from the same bank March 23, the FBI said.

 No cops, no dye pack and no service if you have the audacity to come in right at closing time. Who knew foiling bank robbers was this easy.  I hope the teller stuck the little "this window is closed" sign to really prove her point. 

Girlfriend is Busted for Breaking Boyfriend's Balls

Christina Reber, was freed from jail yesterday after posting $10,000 bond in connection with her bust for the alleged attack last Friday at the Muncie house of her ex-beau.

Reber, the victim told cops, first struck him repeatedly in the head before latching onto his scrotum and "squeezing as hard as she could."

The victim recalled that Reber "refused to let go of his scrotum," but that he was "finally able to pry his scrotum from Reber’s hand" after they fell to the ground during the scuffle. The man then called an ambulance, which transported him to Ball Memorial Hospital. (REALLY? Ball Memorial???)

A cop reported that the man had blood on his shirt and "a long wide tear on his scrotum," which had been "completely torn loose from his body." (OUCH!)

Reber was charged with aggravated battery and illegally entering the victim’s home, both felonies. She was also charged with a misdemeanor domestic battery.

According to the news report, upon entering the victims house the ex-girlfriend was screaming "You had better call the f******  police."  I think that might have been great advice.

There's a Baby in the Bag

U.S. Virgin Islands police say a woman was allegedly driving with her newborn baby zipped up in her purse. ( have what?  Where?)

A police statement says an officer pulled over a woman driving a pickup during a routine traffic stop Tuesday. While asking for the St. Croix woman's license, the officer reported hearing a baby crying but did not see a baby seat in the vehicle.

The motorist then allegedly unzipped a purse sitting on the seat next to her and revealed a  newborn.
The woman said the baby had been born at home the prior week and she was taking it to the doctor's office for a checkup. 

Authorities rushed the newborn to a hospital. The mother may face criminal charges. Her name was not disclosed.

There really should be a test given to prospective parents.  Bizarre for sure. 

Off-duty Bunny Busted

Police in Ohio said a man arrested after finishing a shift as the Easter Bunny pleaded guilty to stealing $1,600 worth of DVDs from a store.

Lt. Dan Molnar with the Mentor Police Department said investigators were seeking Justin Medema of Painesville, on a felony theft charge for allegedly stealing more than $1,600 worth of DVDs from the Mentor Sam's Club store.

A tip was given to the police that the thief was the Easter Bunny at Heartland of Mentor Retirement Home.

Molnar said Medema was arrested at home after finishing his shift.
Medema, who pleaded guilty Monday, is due back in court the day after Easter.

Bad, bad, Bunny! Who can you trust if you can't trust the Easter Bunny?


MOV said...


great post! hilarious!


Thechubbychatterbox said...

The guy missing his balls should have listened to her and called for an ambulance right away.

meleahrebeccah said...

* I was glued to the news when those tornadoes his Texas. My dear friend lives there and I was sooooo worried for her.

* I am laughing at the teller saying the bank is closed, come back tomorrow. And how stupid Olga was for actually listening to her.


* Wait… um… a newborn baby in a purse? WTF.

* Very bad bunny, indeed!

Cheryl P. said...

Why, thank you very much!!!

Cheryl P. said...

My bet is the next time he hears the line "you had better call the f****** police", he will be holding his remaining ball with one hand and dialing the phone with the other. AM I WRONG????

Cheryl P. said...

I was rivited to the news that day as well. That is very close to where we lived prior to our move to KS and I have a lot of close friends there. Scarey stuff, tornadoes. Do you ever get them in NJ? I live in KS so need I say more?

Olga, deserved to go to jail just for the fact she is stupid. Oh, wait if that was against the law there would be prisons on every street corner.

WTF is right about the baby in the bag. Is there no lower limit to being a moron?

Bad bunny but funny bunny. I wonder if he was in costume at Sam's when he lifted the DVDs?

Jayne said...

Did they report what kind of handbag it was? I think that would make all the difference. A nice, roomy tote -- what's the problem?

As for the scrotum grabber -- gives a whole new meaning to the term "ball buster," doesn't it?

And I can only hope those bank robbers aren't registered to vote.

Cheryl P. said...

No mention was made of the brand but the baby mama was quoted as saying she had the baby at home the prior week and hadn't gone to the doctor yet, so I suspect she isn't the type that buys quality merchandise. I would guess the purse came from somewhere with a name something like "Big Bubba's Bargain Barn".

I thought the same exact thing. I think I even typed the title as " Batty Broad Busted Boyfriend's Balls" in keeping with my B theme. I backed off on it thinking maybe that was a bit much. Sometimes my post edits aren't nearly as funny as the original content.

Sadly, I think a lot of our population is coo coo, so you just have to know that she might cast a vote...or not. Do prisoners get to vote prior to conviction?

meleahrebeccah said...

Thankfully, I have never had to deal with weather like that in NJ!

Super Earthling said...

I really do need to pay more attention to the news. I'm clearly missing all the good stuff! LOL Loved this post and love learning about all these people who make me look positively brilliant by comparison. :)

Cheryl P. said...

Oh, if we are talking about comparing ourselves to others....there are so many imbeciles out there that we could use as our base example, therefore we can proclaim,

Your and I are both Super-Duper, Thomas Edison Equivilant, Genius, Brilliant

Actually, you might actually be a genius without the need of a base comparison idiot, I think by me including ME into the equation, I am bringing you down.

Cheryl P. said...

Oh, it would happen, I am one of those imbeciles. Two major typos in my comment - The word "Your" should say YOU and I repeated the word actually. HHHMMMM consider yourself a genius and me "not so much".

Susan, Super Earthling said...

LOL! Cheryl, you're cracking me up! Actually, your typo is a mark of genius. :D I know this because I am, of course, a genius.

We geniuses have brains that are so full of brilliant ideas that we simply can't be bothered with such trivial things as typos. So you just go ahead and celebrate your brilliance today, my friend! :D

Pearl said...

The fun never stops. :-) Aren't human beings fascinating?!!


Cheryl P. said...

You are so right!! Fascinating both in a good and not-so-good way. :-D