Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Why NOT have a baby after 50

Clearly there are reasons not to become new mommy over the age of 50.  I know, I know, ....I have already offended a whole bunch of you mommies-to-be that are jonesing to add to  your brood at 53 or 54 or whatever.  I am just here to offer up an opinion or two, as to why you might want to rethink the whole "what fun it could be to have a new baby in the house...even though you should be thinking about retirement" idea. 

I happened to come across an  older article this week written by Karen Day, an NBC reporter who decided along with her husband to have a baby at the age of 53.  At the time she had older children but felt the time was right to expand her family.  If you are wanting to read this article to support any notions of procreating you might be having, you can click here for your reading pleasure. I noticed that the original article was written in 2007 and I can't find any newer, more recently written articles telling us how everything is going.  My best guess is, she is taking a lot of naps now and doesn't have time to write.  Then, as my curiosity was up and running rampant, I did a little research and women over 50 are have babies fairly regularly. With all the medical advances to help the cause, it would appear that women's biological clocks keep on ticking...at least a lot longer.  In fact, I was able to find a number of articles about 60  year old "new" mommies and YES even a couple  of women in their 70s giving birth.  Did you hear me???...GIVING BIRTH!!!!

Anyway, the whole idea of me having a baby in my late 50s...OMG the very thought has me ready to vomit...left me with the realization that I am not capable of being a mommy (of little ones, that is)  anymore.  I think that there aren't enough energy drinks in all of Kansas to help me keep pace with a new baby from birth to college at my age.

The reason I have come to this declaration of "I am too flipping old is this.......

Last week I was feeling rather spry...youngish even.  I work out, I eat right...the 50s are the new 40s right??? WRRRROOOONNNNG.

The truth is...
I am a GRANDPARENT. This was clearly proven, beyond a shadow of a doubt,  last week when I took my two adorable grandsons for a week so mommy and daddy could take a romantic trip sans their little boys.   My grandsons are really nice, well-behaved little guys at the ages of 1.5 and 4.  They are adorable.  I know you think I am bias and all...but really they are ADORABLE.

The basic problem, as I see it is my lack of stamina to keep up with a one year old and a 4 year old.
It should have been easy-peasy, right?  No problem.  I managed two children full time when my own kids were kids.  The missing link seems to be I was in my 20's.  My very early 20's. Now I am not.

Thought #1.... There are Reasons 50+ year olds were never intended to be new mommies.

Thought #2--- Grandparenting is easier and way more fun

I take the role of being Grandma very seriously.  It is my JOB to make sure they have fun all the time.  It is, also, my job to let them eat total crap.  Sugar..sure..no limits.  That is what I am here for.

Hugs, kisses, lots of sugar, lots of mac and cheese, grilled cheese and ....french toast with syrup and powdered sugar sprinkled on top.  These are the rules.  I don't make this stuff up.  

Typically, when the two little guys come over and I load them up with sugar and shower them with fun and very few "NOs", I get the glory of handing them back to their parents.  At that point,  my daughter and her hubby can oversee them  while they come down off the sugar high while assuring them that there are limits.  (BTW...the response to that is "not at Grandma's house.")

 This  little setup works perfectly fine for me and Grandpa.

Note-At Grandma's house, the binky (pacifier) can be used as needed.
The bouncing baby does not have a blue smile.

Usually, by the time mommy and daddy come and pick up the G-Boys, this is what they look like.

So anyway, last week after having them for a week, I have discovered that I love having them around, they are adorable but clearly I don't have the energy that I once had.  By the end of the week this is what I looked like. 

Notice that the footwear no longer alludes to "high energy and

So my grand-sweeties are back home and are none the worse for wear after having put up with me for the week.  Gosh, my house is so quiet.  Crazy, how quiet.

Oh, BTW here is the real grandboys... They are adorable aren't they???

Just so you know..due to copyright restrictions, I need to tell you this photo was taken by Captures In Time ....so here is the link to their studio. 

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Liggybee said...

I have to agree, Cheryl...at some point, a woman has just got to give up on having a baby. Really...I've heard of some embarrassing moments when an "older" mother is asked, "Oh is that your grandchild?"

And think of how hard it would be to keep your young ones active when your own body might be going the opposite direction strength-wise. It just wouldn't be fair to the young one...but that's just my opinion.

Clicks! I enjoyed your post :)

Cheryl P. said...

You're right...from a strength and stamina point of view having babies late in life would be a challenge. I don't really understand why a 50 year old acts all bent out of shape when a person dares to think that they are the grandparent. Most 50 year olds are THE grandparent. I had an aquaintance that had her last child at 54 and she expected people to be confused.

Thechubbychatterbox said...

I enjoyed your post all the way to the end. Mrs. Chatterbox and I don't have any grandchildren, and it's unlikely we will unless our thirty-one year old gets his act together. Your post was entertaining and funny. Beautiful children.

Cheryl P. said...

I am glad you enjoyed the post. Actually, as I was drawing my pathetic little pictures, I was concerned that your artistic eye's retinas would catch on fire from the sheer remedial level of my artwork.

As far as grandchildren. We were very slow in getting them as well. We have already established I am older than Mrs. Chatterbox. My daughter was in her mid 30s for her first and now later 30s for our little guy with the binky attached. We, too have a son and he isn't showing any signs of giving us more Gkids. He is very much single in his thirties.

It could be that our children will in time have kids but now they are waiting so long, it may be we won't still be living...or lucid...enought to appreciate them.

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Wow those little chaps are beyond adorable!! I am totally with you though ... I am 41 with a 6 year old, and I am pretty much knackered most of the time! I loved this post .... it summed up being a Grandmother (albeit it young one) perfectly!

Cheryl P. said...

Why thank you, Anne! I will say from my limited perspective of reading about you on your blog you look like you handle motherhood exceptionally well. That Izzy is a doll and you are always on the move doing interesting things with her. If your knackered it's because you keep busy. Kudos to you.

Grandpa said...

Are you kidding me...Adorable is exactly what I would say about your "G"boys. And I know that they think quite highly of their grandma.....(and grandpa) when he is around. Neat post....Neat Family....get some rest and then take a road trip!!!!!!

Cheryl P. said...

Yes, Grandpa...they are sooo very cute. And I have totally recouped. I am thinking Wed. the G-boys and I need to go to the park.

Trina said...

First, I have to tell you how wonderful your Grandsons look! They've got gorgeous blue eyes!

Now, 70's? Really? That just wrong. I'm sorry, more power to those that want to have children at all, but after 50 it just doesn't seem fair to the kid. Sports are pretty much out the window, unless they're spectator sports. Who want their 71 year old parent joining them for their first drink at the bar?

I say spoil the grandkids, nieces, and nephews. It's lots more fun!

Wolfbernz said...

Hi Cheryl,

I personally think it's just wrong to have a child that late in life. Not only for the health issues for the bearer of the child, but it's just unnatural for a child to have a parent of that age.

I am a firm believer in spoiling the grandson. Lots of sugar, toys, and lots of fun! Then give him back to his parents.


Bodaciousboomer said...

You sound like a fab grandma to me.When our kids went to Gma's for the weekend she'd load them up on as much sugar, chocolate and caffeine as she could on Sunday then send them home with us.

They adored her.

Cheryl P. said...

Thank you Trina! I, guess I am like all grandparents and think they are too cute for words. I totally agree about the 70 year olds. There were two women in their 70s both from India that gave birth a few years ago. There were a number of articles about women in the 60's. Holy crap...who wants to start with an infant in their 60s or for that matter 50s. Craziness.

Cheryl P. said...

I know that you know how this works as you have a younger grandchild as well. It is our job to spoil them and have fun, for sure. I think that the grandchild/grandparent relationship is a really important component to a kid's life. Not everyone is lucky enough to have extended family. How lucky are we?

Cheryl P. said...

That is so nice that your kids had a relationship with their grandparents. Our kids never lived very close to my or hubby's parents (and a couple of them were wackadoodles anyway) but still they have some good memories, I think. I would wish that everyone was lucky enough to have a real bond with grandparents. I think it enriches a child's life.

oldereyes said...

Very cute grandsons. I can't agree more, though. On a few occasions Muri and I babysat our three for a couple of days and by the time the day is over, we can hardly walk. It is true that we invest more continuous attention than their parents do, but still ...
The thought that always got to me when I heard of fifty somethings was the thought of being seventy with a teenager. Yikes. No thank you. Grandkids are definitely better and more fun ... because when you're exhausted, you can send them home

Cheryl P. said...

When you're exhausted you send them home unless mommy and daddy are in the Carribean on a vacation. haha. All kidding aside, I love having the g-boys around. They are pretty fun to watch. The downside of last week was that hubby was called away on a business trip the day before they were due to come and stay. I was solo for all 6.5 days. One grandma and two little guys = fatigue for grandma. Hence the whole idea of why the hell anyone past 55 would ever want to actually have a baby.

Susan, Super Earthling said...

Love your drawings--they're such a great addition to your post. I think the "time expired" one is my favorite :) And your grandsons are adorable! I had my daughter when I was 24 and still full of energy (back when nothing was sagging yet--LOL). I know for sure I'd never have the stamina today to do everything necessary to be mom to a baby. :-o

meleahrebeccah said...

Um.... fuck that noise.

I had one child at the age of 21, and THAT was exhausting enough. I would NEVER have another baby at 37, let alone at 50. Not for a million dollars and NOT even with a live-in nanny.


Cheryl P. said...

I take that as high praise coming from you. Your cartoons are the most charming, creative...and let's not forget funny cartoons EVER. I am still trying to figure out the process. I sketch them by hand but color them on Gimp. (I tried MS Paint and Photoshop as well...Gimp seems easier) Still they don't show up vibrant on my blog as they do on the Gimp screen.

As for having babies..I was 21 and 23 and still was tired chasing them. I can't even imagine having a full-time baby to care for. I would have to hire an army of helpers, including a psychiatrist.

Cheryl P. said...

I love that!!! Although...as attractive as your gene pool is, I think babies would be a good thing.

meleahrebeccah said...


Nicky said...

See, now if I had written this, the title would have been "Why NOT to have a baby after 50. Or 40. Or 30. Or 20. Or ever. Please someone, just take my kids away before I lose my mind completely."

Catchy, right?

My son was about 5 the first time my mom told him "No". Actually, she didn't even say no. He was playing with the electric window button in the car and she asked him very nicely to please stop. He looked at her and burst into tears as if she had just smacked him!

Your grandbabies are so incredibly gorgeous! Really sweet photo of them. :-)

Cheryl P. said...

That is a catchy title. While I concede, I had far healthier brain cells prior to having kids, what do childless people do for amusement? Oh I know they have extra cash, time and ...oh yeah...fun.... but who keeps them entertained with all manner of bizarre antics. I think it would be boring. Besides, kids grow up, become adults that share a lot of your behaviors so you get to see your "oddities" being played out by a version of yourself. Too much fun.

AND the really big pay off is the grandkids. You just can't believe you are capable of loving someone that isn't your husband/child/partner that much.

momto8blog said...

you were right...your grandchildren ARE adorable!

Cheryl P. said...

I was thinking of you as I was writing this one. Don't I sound like a whiny, whiny person...I mean really 2, just two compared to your 8. I did find as the week went on it got easier. By the 5th day, I was in a routine of sorts...still, I don't know how you do it full time. You have my admiration.