Thursday, October 11, 2012

Too Much of a Bad Thing

Perhaps, they should of made posters.
 A man in southern Germany has been reunited with his car two years after forgetting where he parked, Bavarian police said on Thursday.

After a night of drinking in December 2010 and an unsuccessful search the next day, the vehicle's owner reported his car as missing to the Munich police.

Authorities discovered it by chance last month after a traffic warden noticed that its inspection stickers had expired - 4 km from the spot where the now 33-year-old craftsman originally thought he had parked.

"The weird thing is that it turned up so far away, although the owner was pretty sure of where he had left it," said police spokesman Alexander Lorenz.

In the trunk were 40,000 euros ($51,600) worth of tools including power drills and electric screwdrivers, Lorenz said.

Fifty-one thousand dollars worth of tools in the trunk and he couldn't located it for over two years??? Seriously, this person should never drink another drop. 

He said, she said and then the Judge Said

 A German court has ordered a dominatrix to pay 200 euros ($260) to a local charity as a penance after a client accused her of hurting and robbing him.

Cologne district court spokesman Dirk Esser said the plaintiff had accused the woman he hired for sex last month of holding a kitchen knife to his throat before demanding his debit card and PIN number.The plaintiff told the court, 
"I just wanted some erotic role-play, not to be dominated," the man said. (does the plaintiff not get the correlation between dominatrix and domination?)

The dominatrix countered with "
My clients pay me to hurt them."  She did tell the court, however, that she wasn't overly rough with the man.

The plaintiff, a 49 year old undertaker, also said the woman had detained him against his will for five hours.

The court decided that it was impossible to know for sure what really happened because both parties had consumed too much cocaine during their encounter. The judge dropped the charges but ordered the prostitute to pay the "penance money" to a charity that supports crime victims.

The 35 year old mother of four has been in pre-trial custody for the past five weeks, but declined to be compensated for time spent in jail, Esser said. (does dominatrixing pay well?)


Speaking of Innocent and Naive

 What could be more innocent than a nice elderly couple purchasing a replacement shrub for their garden, nurture it into a lovely specimen and get a visit from the local police.

What's up with the cop visit?  It turns out that the elderly Bedfordshire couple had unwittingly bought a cannabis plant at a boot sale.(for all of you American readers, a  car boot sale is a small version of a tag or garage sale. The items are sold out of a car trunk.)

A police spokeswoman told CNN: "The plant was mistakenly bought by the elderly couple. We will not be pressing any charges. Cannabis is classified as a Class B drug in Britain under the Misuse of Drugs Act. The maximum penalty for supplying or producing cannabis is 14 years imprisonment and/or unlimited fine.

Officers had been called to the house by an observant neighbor spotting it over the back garden fence.

These people really have a green thumb. It is quite a pretty shrub, don't you think?

The True Test of a Successful Bachelor Party is the Amount of the Lawsuits That Are Filed.

Unless, it needs to go to the hospital.
 A Pennsylvania man is suing a strip club after a rough pole dance ruptured his bladder during his bachelor party. 

A lawsuit filed last week says that in late November 2010 Patrick Gallagher, a resident of Lansdale, Pa., had been invited to lie on the stage at the Penthouse Club in Port Richmond, Pa., as part of its “Bachelor’s Package.” (when one is invited to lay down at the bottom of a stripper pole, one should decline.)

That’s when one dancer shimmied up the pole, and “from a great height, she launched herself down onto his abdomen” with such force that she ruptured his bladder, Gallagher’s attorney Neil Murray told the Philadelphia Daily News. 

The suit said the move resulted in severe pain for Gallagher that did not subside by the next morning. He went to the emergency room, and doctors discovered he had internal bleeding and a ruptured bladder that required surgery to correct. Murray said that Gallagher also suffered nerve damage in his back and hip, the Daily News reported.

The lawsuit accuses the club of negligence and seeks at least $50,000 for medical costs, pain, humiliation and mental anguish. Gallagher’s lawsuit is one of several filed in recent years against the club, according to court records. The other lawsuits allege a beating by bouncers, a slip-and-fall injury, over-serving of alcohol and the unauthorized use of a woman’s photographs in club advertisements.

Could we assume that there might of been some "over serving of alcohol" in this case as well?


Chubby Chatterbox said...

Yes, we can assume alcohol was over served.

Cheryl P. said...

Can we, also assume that alcohol was over consumed?

meleahrebeccah said...

Holy shit. Um… who loses their car for TWO years, with $50,000 worth of equipment in the trunk? That guy needs to lay off the sauce!

Wait….that dominatrix is a 35 year old woman, with 4 kids, and a cocaine habit? No wonder why she doesn't have any money!

Wow. That's one GIANT pot plant! Sheesh!

I kinda hope ruptured bladder guy does win his lawsuit.

Cheryl P. said...

Totally agree with you. I can't imagine why he couldn't find it unless he has been on a two year bender.
Makes you wonder doesn't it. 35 year old dominatrix with kids and an addiction. I bet her kids have some stories to tell.
I felt sorry for those elderly people. They thought they had a great foundation planting only to to have the cops come and haul it away. Don't you wonder what actually became of the pot plant?
I am pretty sure the guy won. As stupid as it was to lay on the floor under a stripper pole, I have to think a jury would side with a young guy about to be married over a club that has been sued multiple times for other infractions. How mad do you think his bride-to-be was when she got the call that a stripper had squished her guy's bladder?

meleahrebeccah said...

I'm sure she was pissed! I know I would have been!

Cheryl P. said...

Piss would be an issue in "busted bladder" boyfriend. Sorry I couldn't resist.

meleahrebeccah said...


Jo-Anne said...

Ok if you couldn't find your car after a couple of days wouldn't you report it stolen........
Next old people can get away with so much they just act like they are clueless...........
Grog, pole dancers and indiots don't mix....................

Cheryl P. said...

The guy with the lost car...there just has to be more to the story. I can't understand how a car could be missing for 2 years when it's just 4 km away from where he thought it was.

I sort of felt sorry for the old people. They thought they had a pretty shrub for their yard and the cops come along and take it.

Grog and idiots don't mix...with or without a pole.

momto8blog said...

oh my gosh..these crazy stories! if they were not true no one would ever believe them!
the power tools, the stripper, the pot plant..unbelievable..but I guess not really!!

Cheryl P. said...

Sadly, they are true or at least as true as the accuracy of the media that reported them. Nothing surprises me anymore.

abeerfortheshower said...

Wow, the idea of a sweet little old couple growing a huge pot plant is just hilarious to me. "Oh no, Mildred, this is all wrong. There are no flowers at all; it's just growing these little fruity clumps and they smell like a dead skunk!"

Cheryl P. said...

I would have liked to hear the exchange between the old couple and the cops.
There would be something comical about watching two old people trying to convince the police that they aren't junkies. Seems a shame that they took it away...esp. if these two had glaucoma.