Too Much of a Bad Thing

Perhaps, they should of made posters.

 A man in southern Germany has been reunited with his car two years after forgetting where he parked, Bavarian police said on Thursday.

After a night of drinking in December 2010 and an unsuccessful search the next day, the vehicle's owner reported his car as missing to the Munich police.

Authorities discovered it by chance last month after a traffic warden noticed that its inspection stickers had expired - 4 km from the spot where the now 33-year-old craftsman originally thought he had parked.

"The weird thing is that it turned up so far away, although the owner was pretty sure of where he had left it," said police spokesman Alexander Lorenz.

In the trunk were 40,000 euros ($51,600) worth of tools including power drills and electric screwdrivers, Lorenz said.


Fifty-one thousand dollars worth of tools in the trunk and he couldn't located it for over two years??? Seriously, this person should never drink another drop. 


He said, she said and then the Judge Said

 A German court has ordered a dominatrix to pay 200 euros ($260) to a local charity as a penance after a client accused her of hurting and robbing him.

Cologne district court spokesman Dirk Esser said the plaintiff had accused the woman he hired for sex last month of holding a kitchen knife to his throat before demanding his debit card and PIN number.The plaintiff told the court,  "I just wanted some erotic role-play, not to be dominated," the man said. (does the plaintiff not get the correlation between dominatrix and domination?)

The dominatrix countered with "My clients pay me to hurt them."  She did tell the court, however, that she wasn't overly rough with the man.

The plaintiff, a 49 year old undertaker, also said the woman had detained him against his will for five hours.

The court decided that it was impossible to know for sure what really happened because both parties had consumed too much cocaine during their encounter. The judge dropped the charges but ordered the prostitute to pay the "penance money" to a charity that supports crime victims.

The 35 year old mother of four has been in pre-trial custody for the past five weeks, but declined to be compensated for time spent in jail, Esser said. (does dominatrixing pay well?)

 

Speaking of Innocent and Naive

 What could be more innocent than a nice elderly couple purchasing a replacement shrub for their garden, nurture it into a lovely specimen and get a visit from the local police.

What's up with the cop visit?  It turns out that the elderly Bedfordshire couple had unwittingly bought a cannabis plant at a boot sale.(for all of you American readers, a  car boot sale is a small version of a tag or garage sale. The items are sold out of a car trunk.)

A police spokeswoman told CNN: "The plant was mistakenly bought by the elderly couple. We will not be pressing any charges. Cannabis is classified as a Class B drug in Britain under the Misuse of Drugs Act. The maximum penalty for supplying or producing cannabis is 14 years imprisonment and/or unlimited fine.

Officers had been called to the house by an observant neighbor spotting it over the back garden fence.

These people really have a green thumb. It is quite a pretty shrub, don't you think?

The True Test of a Successful Bachelor Party is the Amount of the Lawsuits That Are Filed.

Unless, it needs to go to the hospital.

 A Pennsylvania man is suing a strip club after a rough pole dance ruptured his bladder during his bachelor party. 

A lawsuit filed last week says that in late November 2010 Patrick Gallagher, a resident of Lansdale, Pa., had been invited to lie on the stage at the Penthouse Club in Port Richmond, Pa., as part of its “Bachelor’s Package.” (when one is invited to lay down at the bottom of a stripper pole, one should decline.)

That’s when one dancer shimmied up the pole, and “from a great height, she launched herself down onto his abdomen” with such force that she ruptured his bladder, Gallagher’s attorney Neil Murray told the Philadelphia Daily News. 

The suit said the move resulted in severe pain for Gallagher that did not subside by the next morning. He went to the emergency room, and doctors discovered he had internal bleeding and a ruptured bladder that required surgery to correct. Murray said that Gallagher also suffered nerve damage in his back and hip, the Daily News reported.

The lawsuit accuses the club of negligence and seeks at least $50,000 for medical costs, pain, humiliation and mental anguish. Gallagher’s lawsuit is one of several filed in recent years against the club, according to court records. The other lawsuits allege a beating by bouncers, a slip-and-fall injury, over-serving of alcohol and the unauthorized use of a woman’s photographs in club advertisements.

Could we assume that there might of been some "over serving of alcohol" in this case as well?