Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Jaws Gone Wrong


What were you doing last Thursday evening?  Please tell me you weren't watching Sharknado? OK...if you were one of the million plus viewers,  let's assume you were just curious how Ian Ziering and Tara Reid could sink so low (and that's already accounting for the extremely low spot they were tenuously grasping to) that they would participate in what had to be part of a drunken bet between the writers over at Syfy. What bet?, I hear you say.  That would be a bet on who could make the worst  movie  "evah"..... OR maybe the bet was, how to make another shark movie with a mashup kind of name. They seem to have a propensity for  mashup shark movies over at Syfy.



I bet you are feeling really bad you missed these.
If you didn't miss these, I have loss further respect for you.



 Of course maybe those writers weren't drunk at all and there is a "process" over at Syfy on how they develop movie plots

Darts are considered  essential office supplies at Syfy
And....when Brontoquake comes out remember you heard it here first..



Thought Number One: Social  Media Is The New Movie Critic

I have my doubts that Roger Ebert would of given Sharknado a thumbs up but I guess I can't know that for sure. Which is a shame that he isn't here to guide me. It turns out, I might not have a natural talent for critiquing movies.  I was pretty sure that this was a complete piece of crap when the universe screamed "NOT SO FAST!"

Maybe...just maybe, I was a bit premature in my negative assessment.  Perhaps, the fact that I didn't stick with the whole movie resulted in me not fully recognizing it's finer points. After a short...really short segment, I was thinking it was too horrid to suffer through. Imagine my surprise when I read some of the reviews and tweets during and after the broadcast that said it was fun and campy. Several reviews referred to it as great entertainment. 

The Washington Post called it "your must see summer movie".

Entertainment Weekly said: " it's so wrong, it's all kinds of right." (in my defense that isn't an entirely glowing endorsement)

Time Entertainment used the title "Perfect Storm: The Genius of Sharknado."

Seems that I missed the fact of it's geniousness. OH, and let's not dismiss the 5000 tweets per minute on Twitter.  While Sharknado didn't break any records for the size of the audience, it may have set some records for the number of social media mentions that resulted. (some of the Twitter activity was better than the movie...click here for some celebrity tweets.)

click on image  to enlarge

   **Note to those that are wanting to do their own reviews...Syfy is re-broadcasting this July 18th**


Thought Number Two:  Tornadoes Belong to Us...."us" being those that live in Tornado Alley

I don't want to appear  overly selfish on the matter of tornadoes but tornadoes don't happen over water...well they can happen,  but then they are called  waterspouts.  Perhaps, Sharkspouts doesn't have the same ring as Sharknado.





 ***Spoiler Alert****

I don't mean to spoil it for you.... but to fully appreciate the reason Crabby Pants has a chainsaw here is a little sneak peak at a scene from the move.  I know it's scary huh?  Totally life-like and  note the amazing special effects.  (choke, choke)

I wonder if you taste like chicken????








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54 comments:

Just Keepin' It Real Folks said...

Well, Ian has redeemed himself. He is now a Chippendale dancer!!!

Cheryl P. said...

When I was reading various articles about the making of Sharknado, they said he was only supposed to be filling in for 4 weeks with the Chippendales yet it has been going on longer than that. Maybe he is a better Chippendale than he is a shark fighter.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Sharknado is the new Shakespeare. Deal with it. Yes, that's how low civilization has sunk.

Chubby Chatterbox said...

I've been terrified of sharks my entire life but now I agree with the late Peter Benchley that it's time to leave them alone. The oceans need them.

Wendy said...

You will be happy to know that I was not watching sharknado last Thursday. Of course, you will not find me watching anything at any time because I do not watch at all ( gosh, shouldn't I have made that a rhyme?) Since I am continually arguing with my hubby about his love of his chainsaw, but not having enough hedge work around here that I can LET him chainsaw, maybe I should tell him there is a Super Hero career he can get into with it? Well, as long as he doesn't marry all those sweet young things he rescues! As always Cheryl, I'm sitting here sitting now.

Cheryl P. said...

Oh please, say it isn't so. Speaking of Shakespeare...do you think that Shakespeare had an inkling that Skarknado was going to happen in the future? Maybe that was what he had on his mind when he wrote "Lord, what fools these mortals. be."

I guess in Elizabethan times they didn't use the words dumb ass.

Cheryl P. said...

Well, I hope for your sake, that you don't look up and see a Sharknado headed your way. I suppose the odds are greatly in your favor being in the Pacific Northwest.

Cheryl P. said...

You always are so nice, Wendy!!!

I was actually thinking that this might be a new LOW for television programming but then it occurs to me that there are tons of programs that are so low-brow there is no way to quantify which is the "worst of the worst".


As far as your husband and his chainsaw. I think maybe I should develop a cartoon of a superhero that uses his chainsaw for good. You need to be thinking of a good name for our hero.



I am sure that you have nothing to worry about the sweet young things that he might rescue. No one looks good covered in Shark innards.

Leah said...

I didn't watch it and wouldn't watch it. I hate crap like that. Don't get me wrong, there's some other crap that I do like, like Big Brother, and Small Town Security. There is something about that show (STS) that keeps me looking on. It's not the poop stick. Blah! I think it's the raw honesty of it. Don't get me wrong, I know a lot of the situations are staged, but looking beyond the situations you can still see the unkept rumbled train wrecks of their humanity. I like chit like that. LOL!

Leah said...

Don't get me wrong I know I say don't get me wrong too much. LOLOL!

Robyn Engel said...

Ever day, I'm more and more proud to have given up watching TV five years ago. You got a good picture of Jaws. I've seen him at Universal Studios. He was scarier on the big screen.


Be well, Cheryl.
xoRobyn

Robyn Engel said...

PS I meant "every day". =)

meleahrebeccah said...

I've never even heard of Sharknado - but - considering we are so much alike - I am going to listen to YOU and believe that it was totally horrible and NOT waste my time watching any of it!

lisleman said...

I dated a girl named Allisaurus Cane once.
Did any of the reviewers use the overused phrase "jumped the shark" on this one?

Cheryl P. said...

Yah, I am with you which is why I saw about a 10 minute clip that I thought would cause me to poke my eyes out with a stick. What got me off on this tangent is the sudden spike of Twitter usage and the over all positive feedback, Sort of had me wondering if the apocalypse was really at hand. If the term WTF wasn't already invented, I would have invented it just for the purpose of this stupid movie.


I rarely watch reality TV. I am already worried about the future of our civilization and reality TV is not helping.

Cheryl P. said...

hahahaha...I would never get you wrong....you are so RIGHT!

Cheryl P. said...

I always admire people that have given up TV and appreciate that there isn't all that much that would be missed, but I am thoroughly attached to the History Channel, HGTV and a slew of other things.



In 1975 when Jaws came out the special effects were pretty amazing. Certainly not by today's standards but it was enough that my husband and I weren't planning on going to the beach for awhile after watching it.

Cheryl P. said...

I knew what you meant...I hold the world's record for mistakes in comments so I don't even notice them.

Cheryl P. said...

I think this movie was probably meant to be enjoyed drunk. I bet it would be hysterical if a person had been drinking all afternoon. It's that crazy. The twitter comments were actually hilarious. I swear if I could talk hubby into renewing our vows, I might have him promise he would chainsaw me out of a shark.

meleahrebeccah said...

BAhahHAhHAhHAHHAHhhHA!

Cheryl P. said...

You are kidding right??? Allisaurus???? Were her parents comedians or whackadoos??? OR both???

Yes, in fact more than a few articles talking about this movie did use the "jumping the shark" phrase. Surprisingly though...most of those articles found a lot of humor in this movie and didn't lamblaste it.

lisleman said...

Oh they were paleontologists. Just kidding. Hey this movie reinforces our decision to drop cable. But I find a two minute summary of the movie on Huffpost TV.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2013/07/12/sharknado-highlights-video_n_3588251.html

Cheryl P. said...

I had the wrong girl in the shark. I should of remembered that as I thought it was so gross that Tara Reid kiss Ian while he was covered in fish guts.

lisleman said...

I'll throw out a prediction - You'll never need to write these words again, "I had the wrong girl in the shark". Ha, I would have never known.

CaliforniaGirl500 said...

My co -worker insisted I watch the trailer. That was enough for me. I don't find anything that vilifies a living creature (except humans) funny. " Jaws" endangered the shark population for years because movie -going morons found it necessary to exterminate them. I hope the fallout (forgive the obvious pun) doesn't do the same.

Trina said...

Sharknado? Really? That just sounds aweful. What are the guys at Syfy (still hate that spelling, it's Scifi people) thinking to create such a cooky movie? A nd is that shrk flying around or being hurled from a tornado, I'm confused.
Clicks!
--Trina

Wolfbernz said...

Hi Cheryl,
I feel like I've seen it all now. Really? It's hard to believe that money was spent making such a weird film. Thanks for the heads up about it's existence!
Click for you!
Wolf

Cheryl P. said...

I would think that this movie is so cartoonish that no one with an ounce of brain cells would take the movie seriously enough to carry it over to real life. Did your co-worker watch this hideous film? I actually was more amazed by the fact that there were enough people watching and feeling the need to communicate about it. The fact, that a lot of people think that this disaster (the movie was a disaster not the disaster of a tornado full of man eating sharks) was entertaining is absolutely shocking to me.

Cheryl P. said...

II find it interesting that the Scifi channel explains the name change because the Scifi spelling couldn't be trademarked. Sci-fi is a genre of movies and the phrase was already in play. They could, however, trademark the Syfy name as a logo specifically to their company.



The crux of the movie is a tornado is picking up they hybrid sharks and raining them down on LA. I didn't stick with it long enough to find out how they could go around eating people when they were on dry land.



It is confusing and stupid.


BTW..I left a comment on the Blogdumps site again this week. On your posts I get an error message from Captcha saying (EMPTY Captcha) even though I have the box filled in.

Cheryl P. said...

Yes it is amazing and not in a good way. They probably have made all the money back from all the publicity gleaned off of the Twitter comments, Our world just keeps getting crazier.

Cheryl P. said...

My bet is you are right about me ever needing to use that phrase again.

Riot Kitty said...

When Mr. RK told me about this, I thought he was joking. Then he said "Tara Reid," and I thought, "Oh no, he has to be serious!" The Wash. Post though? Really? I knew print journalism was going down the tubes but I expect more from them, even in the entertainment section! Then again, when we saw the preview for Snakes on a Plane, the audience cracked up, because we thought it was a spoof.

oldereyes said...

I clicked you first note on blogdumps and got "website not found" ... panicked for a second until I read on. I'm beginning to think there is some sort of mental worm hole between us. Jaws was the last shark movie I put up with ... even the Jaws sequels were awful ... and I don't do bad movies under the premise that they are campy. As I've said before, my sole test using the critics is if the critics like it better than the peeps on the Tomotometer, it's going to suck. Recently, some friends got me to violate my rule to see a little gem called Frances Ha. Terrible, even though the critics fawned over it. Now, the Cownado movie I might watch. Maybe you could make a production deal with Chick-Fil-A. Would Crabby Pants star?

Cheryl P. said...

Riot Kitty, you are a riot.. I suppose I am being redundant, huh? Yes, anytime someones says movie and Tara Reid in the same sentence there is an implied "suck" in there as well. Although, I see she has a new TV series coming up so evidently she is still employable.



I thought EXACTLY the same thing about the Washington Post. Here I was doing all this eye-rolling, along with more than one exclamation of "you have to be shi**** me", when I saw the Washington Post comment. For a second, I thought I was in an alternate universe or possibly I was I possibly being punked on a cosmic level? It will be interesting if next Thursday's re-broadcast has the same semi-positive Twitter buzz.

Cheryl P. said...

Even after all these years of typing, I still add e's and t's to the end of words for no apparent reason. When the artofbeingconflicted.come becomes a valid site, there is going to be some confusion.



Worm hole would explain a lot, Bud. Crazy how often you post what I am thinking about.



Not watching movies that are being called campy should be added to my ever growing list of "things to avoid". I hadn't gotten around to seeing Frances Ha but I had thought about it because of some of the positive reviews. I won't bother.



I am leaving for our farm today for a week. Perhaps I will talk to area farmers about the Cownado film. Beef prices are lower than low...maybe this is the answer...put cows in movies. I think Crabby Pants would enjoy being a celeb. She certainly has the capacity for being "difficult".

AletaObrien said...

EWWWW. Gross. I think I would throw up if someone did a Hurricane Shark show. Just SICK.

CaliforniaGirl500 said...

Oh come now. Have you seen the summer horror fare coming to a theater near you? Lots of yucky stupid stuff.

Cheryl P. said...

You are right about that, CaliforniaGirl. There are more stupid flicks coming our way. I have seen a few of the upcoming summer movie trailers and it looks like people will have a lot of choices between watching the undead or attacks by aliens.

Cheryl P. said...

Hi, Aleta! I didn't watch too much of this stupid movie but the parts I did see were gross. Total waste of time. I can't believe The Washington Post said it "is a must see." Seriously? Someone at the Post has lost their mind.

Jo-Anne said...

I have never heard of Sharknado maybe that is a good thing...........lol

Cheryl P. said...

Jo-Anne, consider that a good thing. I was just having some fun with this because it is SO BAD. So awful that it comes across funny.

abeerfortheshower said...

I will probably watch this just so I can laugh my head off. These movies are truly so bad they're just downright hilarious. Like Megashark vs Giant Octopus, which I'm convinced still has the most hilariously terrible action scene in movie history.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I16_8l0yS-g

Cheryl P. said...

OMG, OMG, OMG (sorry, that I stole that line from Mia Farrow's tweet while watching Sharknado..OK, maybe I am not ALL that sorry)

You may be right about that being the worst scene EVAH in a movie....BUT then you haven't yet seen Sharknado.

Thank you so much for sending that video my way as it is super funny/sick/demented/awful in an entertaining sort of way. The first shot of the guy passenger tells you he can't act his way of of a paper sack.

PLEASE, I beg you to watch the rebroadcast tonight on Syfy of Sharknado and tell me if it really is worse than Mega Shark vs. Giant Octopus. I really think it may be. I am traveling today or I would rewatch it in it's entirety.

I am not exaggerating at it's level of awfulness.

lisleman said...

some one got a shout out in my most recent post

Margaret said...

Yep, totally intentional and campy on purpose. I think I read somewhere a while back how SyFy has these weekly movies where it's a total campfest. I think they broke out with a really bad one starring has-beens Tiffany and Debbie Somebody - you know which one I'm talking about? Anyway, you have to go into these with the right mindset and then it's all OK.

Cheryl P. said...

I will be right over there!!!

Cheryl P. said...

You are right...it's their new "thing" to develope these types of movies more as a spoof. No one in their right mind could take them seriously. It is so funny that the social media venues are getting involved though, and a lot of the comment imply that maybe the audience doesn't get that it is supposed to be a joke.
Yes, I had heard that Debbie Gibson and Tiffany had been in one or more of them.
I really don't get the comments by some of the news outlets though. Especially the Washington Post.

Rock Chef said...

I saw both of these - and I am glad someone told you about Giant Octopus and Mega Shark - I have that on DVD...

Cheryl P. said...

Hi Rock Chef, It's so nice of you to stop by. I can see you have excellent taste in films. I must admit that I am rather limited on my knowledge of campy shark films but who knows...I might get a chance to watch some of the Syfy's primo offerings. Supposedly they have already started work on Sharknado II.


Thanks for coming by!!!

Rock Chef said...

Hm, I am starting to think that I will have to write a shark story - but I need to finish my zombie book first. Yes, I am really writing a zombie book.

Cheryl P. said...

Zombies are really "in" these days...maybe you don't need a shark book because the zombie book will be a huge hit and turn into a movie on the Syfy channel.

Agent 54 said...

I went to see Sharknado with some friends and wrote my own review.

http://agent54nsa.blogspot.com/2013/07/sharknado-review.html



I believe this is the definitive review of the film.

Cheryl P. said...

Gosh, I hope you didn't force yourself or your friends to sit through this entire piece of crud. Funny group of friends you keep, Agent 54. I would be really careful if I were you, if they start referring to you as "Chum".

Agent 54 said...

Well, we all have to make sacrifices for the good of all Earthlings.


You know I keep an eye on Shamu. He's not mean, he's just hungry.