Friday, September 6, 2013

After the Fact

This week while going through the odd news of the week, there were a number of reports that added a few lines as to how the person handled their situation.  As luck would have it least as far as my theme today goes....some didn't handle the situation well.

Who Ya Goin' Call?
If you are this car-less, careless, clueless guy, that person would me MOM.

Authorities in Florida said a man called his mother and confessed to buying drugs and possessing a crack pipe while a deputy stood nearby.

The Manatee County Sheriff's Office said the deputy spotted a man riding a bike without any lights around 11:30 p.m. Tuesday and the man seemed to ride faster when he spotted the deputy, the South Florida Sun Sentinel reported Tuesday.

The deputy activated the flashing lights on his patrol car and the man appeared to drop something onto the grass, the arrest report said.

The man, identified as James Leo House, of Bradenton, was ordered to sit on the ground and deputy found a burnt glass crack pipe in the area where the man seemed to drop an object.

House asked to call his mother while the deputy was waiting for backup, the sheriff's office said.

"I'm in trouble for buying dope and I had a crack pipe on me," House allegedly told his mother on the phone.

The sheriff's office said House has been arrested 15 times since 2005.

This might not be the first time his mom has heard from her boy...late at night...concerning drugs. Cautionary note:  If you must tell your mother EVERYTHING, don't do it in front of people that have the power to arrest you. 

Bad Date

A first date ended in a dramatic police chase when a man snatched a woman's phone as compensation after she refused to go Dutch on drinks.

Southwark crown court heard that Kishore Nimmala, spent a total of about $84.00 on drinks and was furious when Fakhara Sultana told him she thought men should pay on a first date.

The Daily Mail reports that Nimmala then continued to follow her and pester her for money as the first date which was arranged online went sour.

 When she tried to make a call on her BlackBerry, he snatched it and ran off.

 Prosecutor Helen Thomas said: "Ms Sultana screamed and ran after him. Two passing policemen joined the chase and eventually caught him."  Nimmala, who threw the phone away during the chase, claims he took it thinking Ms Sultana would then pay her share of the bill at the bar in London's Leicester Square.

Are we pretty safe in assuming there won't be a second date?

Don't Call...Tweet

The collegian who provided a giddy Twitter tick-tock of her arrest for drunkenly trying to rush the field during Saturday’s University of Iowa football game, wasn’t so ebullient when posing earlier for her mug shot.

After bonding out of custody, Samantha Goudie, used her Twitter account--@Vodka_samm--to trumpet
details of her public intoxication collar, including her blood alcohol level, which was more than four times the legal limit.

“Just went to jail #yolo” and “I'm going to get .341 tattooed on me because its so epic,” were two of Goudie’s tweets Saturday. She also reported, “Girl waiting for court with me goes ‘I wish I knew the girl who blew a .341’ I said hi.”

However, as seen in the above mug shot, a teary Goudie appeared less boastful when posing for a University of Iowa Police booking photo.

Goudie’s Twitter account, which included a profile photo of her flashing two middle fingers, appears to have been deleted.

Sounds like she loves being a celebrity of the drunken jail bait crowd. 

Cat Burglar

Apparently someone is having some remorse after waking up to find he has a new room mate.  A man in Chico, CA posted an ad on Craigslist that says in part:

If anyone is missing a cat named Django (pronounced Jango, the D is silent) I stole him last night. Not on purpose.  I was extremely intoxicated and thought he was just some random stray I was rescuing. It was not until this morning when I was haphazardly going for a glass of water that I remembered I took the cat and noticed his collar.  .....So please feel free to get back to me and get your cat back.  Thanks! And sorry for stealing him (on accident).

To read the entire ad you can click this link.

Don't you love a drunk thief that is concerned about you mispronouncing the name of his capture?


babs (beetle) said...

I won't pretend to know what blowing a 341 means. Poor cat! Mine would be going mad if they found themselves locked in an unfamiliar place. Hope the owner sees the ad :)

Riot Kitty said...

Where do you find these?! Laughing my ass off on a break at work...they will probably think they need our (mental health) services.

Maybe the .341 and the accidental cat thief should get together.

Just Keepin' It Real Folks said...

Ms. Goudie is going to enjoy explaining that tattoo on job interviews in the future. Guess that .341 blood alcohol level is better than saying it's her grade point average.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

Stole a cat while drunk? Hey, that's how I got HRH!

Chubby Chatterbox said...

Was it the stolen cat who explained to him that the "D" in Django was silent?

Cheryl P. said...

Oh, babs...I love that you don't know that much about alcohol. .341 is about 4.3 times the legal limit of alcohol in the U.S. There is a chart that tells the effects at various levels and at .35 the body feels the same effect as being under general anesthesia. It goes on to say the body may at that point quick breathing.

As far as cats...even a drunk man wouldn't steal my cat. She only likes me and my husband. I don't have a picture of my cat when she is made but this is how she would look right before the scratching and biting started.

Cheryl P. said...

Ahhh...the Internet never has a shortage of stupid people tricks available. Probably your co-workers hearing you laugh just are amazed at how much you love your job. Let's go with that.

That is a great idea. In addition to our T-shirt company...let's start a match making site that matches people up according to their bad habits. Drunks meeting other drunks would be a great place to start. I think you are on to something.

Cheryl P. said...

Surely this chick isn't carrying a .341....with her twitter hash tag including the word Vodka, I would be surprised if she has a 2.0 grade point average. (I am going with the idea that the University of Iowa has a 4.0 grade point system.)

Actually other than the fact she is taking the phrase "party school" a little too literal, she is a pretty cute girl.

Cheryl P. said... that you let the "cat out of the bag" so to speak,, someone may come looking to take HRH back. I am assuming you didn't place an ad on Craigslist.

Cheryl P. said...

I thought the same exact thing. Did the cat communicate with this guy in his drunken state? I also found it odd that he threw in the word haphazardly. Who says, I was haphazardly going for a glass of water?

babs (beetle) said...

Ha ha! I know nothing about alcohol any more, Cheryl. I stopped drinking when I was in my thirties. I just went off it, for no apparent reason. Thankfully, it had no effect on how much I enjoy myself though.

Cheryl P. said...

Same here, I developed alcohol intolerance in my 20's and don't drink. It's not anything that I miss.

babs (beetle) said...

Well that's funny, because I tried, a couple of times, to have a little drink at Christmas and I got pains in my tummy and down my legs. My sister is the same. I thought we were weird :)

Nicky said...

Considering my cat Lola continually tries to kill me, I wouldn't mind if someone accidentally drunk stole her. Also, the fact that the thief explained the name pronunciation tells me that he hadn't completely sobered up yet.

Hey, maybe the thief is actually .341 girl?

And yeah, I'm thinking that first date was also their last date. 'Cause that's not even remotely one of those "funny stories we'll tell the grandkids!"

Cheryl P. said...

If Lola goes missing be sure NOT to check Craigslist. (is Craigslist even in Canada?) If the cat thief isn't still drunk, then he is just weird. I am thinking drunk is better as at least that would be temporary.

I would say you might have great idea but I think the drunk girl got put in jail without a cat so she probably has an least for being cleared of cat-napping goes.

You are right about that date never becoming funny. What a freak. She's lucky the only thing he did to her was take her phone. UGH.

Jo-Anne said...

Why or why is the world full of so many we will have something to blog

Stealing a cat is a new one on me I have heard of people stealing dogs but cats no.............not so much, hope the cat goes home to it's owner...........

Ok is .341 high I don't know our breath tests are different over here you have to be under .05...........05 or higher is over the limit.

AletaObrien said...

"blew a .341" - I am NOT going to share that story with my husband. I don't want to even think about what his comment would be! LOL Sorry, but he has a gutter mind at times and it filters to me from time to time.

Awww, but, but but... he DID apologize for STEALING the cat. Unlike the guy who stole the cell phone. Where has the word "gentleman" gone to?

Cheryl P. said...

Most cats would make it difficult for a person to catch them. Django must be a pretty passive cat. Then again, I don't think many people want an extra cat enough to steal one. They are readily available at the animal shelters.

In most places here the limit for alcohol is .o8 so this girl was more than 4 times over the legal limit. That amount of alcohol is the same as being under surgical anesthesia.

Cheryl P. said...

He might not be the only guy who's mind would wander when the word blew came into a sentence.

There seems to be a vacuum as far as "gentlemen" in my weird news reports. While it is true that the cat-napper did use the word sorry, I doubt his sincerity. My guess is that in the light of day, he realized he didn't want a cat.

Linda R. said...

Dumb druggies and bragging drunk chicks...what's the world coming to? I love the cat story. At least he realized his error, apologized and is trying to return him. He may get more than $#% on the floor if he keeps feeding him cheese.

meleahrebeccah said...

Oh dear lord. Fucking Floridians! I swear all of the craziest people live in that state!

Sorry - but I am totally on team Fakhara Sultana. The man SHOULD pay for everything. Especially on a first date.

I'm surprised Samantha Goudie isn't from Florida!! Now that's a HOT MESS right there!

And I am seriously laughing at the man who stole a cat while drunk. That's hilarious to me!

Cheryl P. said...

I was rather surprised by that. I don't think either of my cats would eat cheese but then I think they would of been hard to catch as well. I hope Django's family finds him.

Cheryl P. said...

I could just do every Friday's odd news from the Sun Sentinel newspaper and never have to look any farther. I think it is interesting that they have so many of the really stupid criminal types in their state.

I agree that on a first date the guy pays...but maybe I am old school. Back in the olden days when I was dating the guy always paid. Maybe not fair but that was the way it was.

Samatha Goudie is a HOT MESS. Maybe when she get's into trouble in Iowa, she will consider going to the University of Florida.

Agree..pretty funny story about the cat. Every once in awhile there is a really funny entry on Craigslist.

meleahrebeccah said...

"I agree that on a first date the guy pays...but maybe I am old school. Back in the olden days when I was dating the guy always paid."

Yeah. And I totally stand behind it STAYING that way.

Sorry, but I am not dating ANYONE unless THEY pay.

lisleman said...

Once again your collection of misfits would probably enjoy hooking up with each other. The last two are two interesting drinkers who make an evening of pronouncing odd names to each other.
I've never spent any time thinking of a tattoo. The whole permanent signage thing just doesn't make sense when you can make your own t-shirt or bumper sticker. Now a bumper sticker with "blew a .341" would be really stupid but would appeal to these idiots, I suspect.

lisleman said...

He certainly didn't want the cat because the ad shown on the link you gave reads, "...feeding him cheese all morning and I don't really want him to shit all over..."
I think this guy is a jerk.

Cheryl P. said...

Probably the single greatest deterrent for the last two not to accidently meet in a bar is proximity. One being in Iowa and one is California.

As for the bumper sticker of "I blew .341"...I think maybe Samantha Goudie (do you suppose that is pronounced Goody?) would love to brag about her ability to survive being that drunk by putting a bumper sticker on her car but it probably would get her stopped by the local cops. It may be that she would be incapable of passing a DUI stop.

Cheryl P. said...

I questioned all of the didn't sound entirely legit but then on Friday's odd news goes...I thought the guy was odd.

abeerfortheshower said...

And this is why you don't order $84 worth of drinks without first discussing who's going to pay.

Also, anyone who uses the hashtag 'yolo' deserves to rot in prison. And she's crying now, but just wait until some TV network offers her her own reality show because she's so 'wacky' and 'outlandish.' Then we'll see who's laughing.

We live in a country where any publicity is good publicity. Sadly, you just have to know how to market it.

Cheryl P. said...

Well while she may be prone to say she only lives once, perhaps she should add "you only die once and it might be due to a drunken binge. (YODO + MBDTADB)

I especially like the part where she is bragging about the other arrestee "wanting to know her" and "she said hi."

Yes, this person is probably receiving calls as we speak, with offers for a variety of things.

Dexter Klemperer said...

As stupid as the drug guy was for confessing to mom, I find it disturbing that they went after him because he seemed to be riding faster when he saw the deputy. Maybe it's illegal to ride without lights or maybe there was some other factor not reported.
And it's really amazing the cat thief mentioned how to pronounce Django. How did he know the cat's name anyway? I guess it was on the collar. But it sure makes me think he actually renamed the cat Django himself. But then who would recognize the cat by name? Now I'm confused.

Cheryl P. said...

A couple of thoughts on the bike rider guy...I saw a picture of the guy and any strenuous exercise might of been more dangerous to his health than all the drugs that he consumes. Let's just say he is a big boy. ....OR after 15 previous arrests, the cops might of said "Hey James, what's the rush?"

As for the cat's name...the article did say that it was on the collar. How odd that the cat finder, felt the need to clarify the pronunciation. Maybe he was still drinking when he did his Craigslist ad.