Friday, September 13, 2013

Tattoos In the News it is Friday, and in place of an odd news roundup this week, I am just doing a short little post about tattoos. Unfortunately,  I am pressed for time this week.  It may or may not be that I am on my way to get inked with a message that is so profound that I feel the need to have it permanently displayed on my body. 

AND YES this was a BBBIIIGGG week in the world of tattoo enthusiasts. Huffington Post posted an article on Wednesday titled " Head-To-Toe Body Tattoos Make Clothing Optional. (click here to read the article in it's entirety)  

I am sure we can all agree that it is a major  inconvenience to have to put clothes on everyday.  In fact, it could be that there is no one out there even reading blogs today as you are all down at the local tattoo parlor deciding on your  own pictorial legacy.  However, I remain hopeful that some of you remain at your computer so TAOBC  can offer you some  inspiration to cover your body in art so that you, too, might enjoy the freedom that goes with not having to clothe yourself. 

Matt Gone, better known as the Checkered Man, has 98% of his body covered in tattoos. What originally started as getting a few tattoos to cover up some muscular anomalies caused by Poland Syndrome grew into a full blown tattoo addiction. "I would like to marry a heavily tattooed woman who works a real job," he said in an interview with Big Tattoo Planet.

I think maybe Matt has Gone too far.  What if checks go out of style? 

But...wait...if Matt isn't your tattoo inspiration...what about Isabel Varley?  Isobel Varley is a British woman who  has 93% of her body covered in tattoos, giving her the Guinness world record for the most tattooed senior citizen at 75 years old.

See.... even age isn't a deterrent for turning your body into a giant canvas?  Feel free to send me a thank you for planting that image in your brain.

And who doesn't aspire to look like Maria?  Maria Jose Cristerna, a 35-year-old former attorney from Guadalajara, Mexico, is better
known as the "Mexican Vampire Woman" thanks to her full-body tattoos and titanium horns implanted in her skull.

Cisterna was immortalized in a full body cast form thanks to Ripley's Believe It Or Not. "It's my vampire dream to be immortal!" she told HuffPost Weird News through a translator.

Poor, delusional Maria.  It's one thing to aspire to be a Vampire but the odds of her being immortal are about as likely as the odds of her tats aging well.  BTW, is being a Vampire a better gig than being a lawyer?

Not all the tattoo news this week was quite as "over the top" as those that no longer require clothing (although, let's request that they do).

Right here in Kansas, we are hearing about how our own Miss Kansas is going to compete in the Miss America contest.

As an active member of the military, Miss Kansas, Theresa Vail, that is.... Army National Guard Sgt. Vail - may just have a slightly different take on world peace than the typical Miss America pageant contestant.

 Ms. Vail is an expert marksman who apparently knows her way around an M-16. She raced motorcycles as a teen until she broke her fingers. She is fluent in Chinese (she has a 3.8 GPA at Kansas State University) and likes to skydive and bow-hunt for deer. She's working on a hunting series in production for the Outdoor Channel. (She will be the host.)

Also, Vail, 22, competing this week in the 2014 Miss America Pageant, is the first contestant ever to sport visible tattoos. Sure, other contestants have had tattoos - tiny, hidden ones, according to pageant officials.

But Vail's big bold tat, of the Serenity Prayer, flanks her entire right midriff. She also sports the insignia of the Army Dental Corps on her left shoulder. The university senior aspires to be an Army dentist.

So there it was, the big tattoo, when she competed Tuesday night in the swimsuit portion of the three-night preliminary competition. She didn't win, wearing a bright-red bikini and the tattoo, done in scrolly vintage lettering.

But she apparently scored one for the atypical beauty queen crowd.
click to enlarge
Oh and just to let you know...Rabat is the capital of Morocco.I didn't make up a town in my effort to put a classy tattoo on my little Crabby Pants' body.

Crabby is now officially prepared for the next pageant that comes her way.


Rusty said...

OMG I am laughing so tattoos fell if I'd get a tatoo. Wait til they are 70 years old and the tattoos won't look so great then!
Great post Cheryl- have a fabulous day!

Cheryl P. said...

Oh, no tattoos can be laughed off?? Good thing I don't have any either as I laugh a lot.
The idea that tattoos don't age well may be an assumption on my part but given the fact that skin looses elasticity, I am thinking that like all other things related to our bodies...GRAVITY is not our friend. Plus,,,what about weight gain. That could be bad.

Cheryl said...

At frist glance, I thought the older woman was Betty White! Imagine my shock and awe in the instant. How deflating to find out it's a different crazy woman.

Did the article mention which body parts comprise the untattoed percentage? Puerile minds want to know.

Cheryl P. said...

Cheryl, your comment if way funnier than my post. I am laughing like a goof ball over here.

No the article didn't specify what the remaining unadorned 7 percent is. I am sure it is better than we stay ignorant of that tidbit of info. ***shiver***

babs (beetle) said...

I'm no fan of tattoos, but those horns make me shudder. I just don't get it. I never will.

Chubby Chatterbox said...

I have nothing against tattoos except they don't look all that good. What are people thinking when they brand themselves with this rubbish? The human body is a magnificent thing and when I see a design that actually improves the human form I'll consider having it tattooed on my body.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

I used to go to a dentist who was heavily tattooed. His white coat covered everything, of course, but you could see the tats showing at his wrists and up his neck. Not too often you see a professional sporting major tats like that. I suspect he was gay and into BDSM. But that's just my intuition. Either that or he liked the "biker look." Anyway, he's dead now. Heart attack.

Robyn Engel said...

Tattoos make me cringe, especially when they cover a good portion of a person's skin.

Have a good weekend, Cheryl.

Cheryl P. said...

I don't understand the horns, either. I suspect very few of us "non-horn" devotees, understand why that would appeal to anyone.

Cheryl P. said...

Another case, of moderation, moderation, moderation. I think a tatoo or two on some people looks OK. On a few, I would even go so far as to say "cool". Military guys that have insignias on their arm, impresses me. BUT that is a far cry from what is happening on "ink" reality shows or the examples Huffington Post showed. YIKES...They are taking a perfectly fine human body and turning it into a freak show.

Cheryl P. said...

I have seen some pretty extensive tattoos but I don't recall ever seeing that extent on a doctor. Probably an interesting story went with that guy and now it's too late to find out what it was. Wonder what he was doing when his heart gave out? (I know, I am wicked to think of such things)

Cheryl P. said...

Especially when you are talking like 90+ percent of a person's body. I don't even understand why some one would subject themselves to that amount of pain besides taking on a permanent marking on their body that is pretty hard to undo.

Wendy said...

Well, I actually know certain people personally who have rather obvious and large tattoos, so I must be ever so careful with my comments. I can not imagine the length of time these people sat there to have them put on. I can not imagine why oh why they would sit and suffer for them. Why not get creative with some body paint- that way you can change your 'tats' as the mood strikes. Frankly, I like the human body the way it comes- well, mostly :). I find tattoos heavily promoted in tv shoes, especially that men like it on women. Well, do they? I'd love to hear why. Perhaps,it makes them unusual?Or, if it is in a secret place, well, one only gets to see it if one is that special someone? At least that I could understand that.

Maria is/was former lawyer? Maria passed law school but thinks she is a vampire and will possibly live forever? Explain this to me.

Even though I sure appreciated and did laugh at that naughty limerick ( very excellent!) I'm sorry, Cheryl , I won't be getting your original piece of literature tattooed on my body!
Another crazy and fun post! Hope tattoo craziness isn't matched by any upcoming crazy weather for you.

AletaObrien said...

One of my friends has a cute fairy in rainbow colors on the back of her shoulder. It rarely shows and when it does, it is small and tastefully done. Those types of tats don't bother me. But men with tats - OMG, horrible stuff like skulls and snakes and dogs that look like they have rabies. Seriously? So NOT attractive!

During Mardi Gras people will paint their bodies and walk naked in the French Quarter. Anything goes for then. But those full body tats, how painful and ewwww... I had to look for the guy's eyes and what if a woman wanted to date him... she wouldn't know whether to kiss him or play checkers!!

Cheryl P. said...

Yes, I, too know people that have tattoos. Kiddo #2 got a couple tattoos some years ago, ....and I was initially prepared not to like it. I might of mentioned to him how perfect the little baby, I gave birth was AND how he didn't come into the world with ink on his perfect skin. But he is a good looking guy with tattoos in the appropriate places.

So...the reality of it is that some people can pull off some tattoos. I think the problem (at least for me) is that if a person's tattoos confuses me as to where any of their orifices are they might of crossed some sort of line into " the too much zone." For example: the checked guy...I had to do a double-take to spot where his eyes were. .

Right now it seems that tattoos are all the rage. I wonder if the trend scales back and it becomes outdated, what will become of all the people that have full sleeves of ink. Perhaps they will just wear long sleeve shirts year round.

Yes, Maria was an attorney that aspires to become a Vampire. Such lofty career goals for someone that has already put in an additional 3 years for that law degree. I guess she has time to figure out the logistics of becoming "undead" as she thinks she has immortality on her side. While, I typically try to support people's goals with a "you can be anything you want to be", I am pretty sure she is doomed to fail on this one.

Our weather here is actually decent for a change. The heat broke we are finally out of the 90s in into the 70's this morning. Hasn't rained in weeks so we are really dry but getting out of the heat is a blessing. Are you still getting rain up there?

Cheryl P. said...

I don't mind tattoos done in moderation. Some of the friends that have tattoos on their shoulder or ankle look fine. AND really, people like David Beckam...could anyone deny that he looks FINE?

Those types of tattoos you mentioned, don't bother me at all. I think that the scale of the tattoo in relationship to the person's body needs to be considered, as well. Some tiny people that have huge images covering their entire torso, look out of kilter. Kind of like putting a 12 piece sectional sofa in the 10 x 12 den. It just doesn't fit.

Life, Laughter and Paris said...

I'm guessing none of these people were, or are going to be, lawyers or doctors. No doctor with a snake on his face is going to operate on me! And I can't believe the amount of time I wasted trying to get ink off my arms when I was printmaking. I could have added eyes and ears and left the damn ink forever!

Cheryl P. said...

Oh I agree..Aleta and I were just talking about the size and placement of tattoos make the difference between good choices and the 3 pictures that I posted who didn't (IMHO) make the most cautious choices.

Our area has a lot of career military types because of Ft. Leavenworth. I can see being a dentist for the U.S Army makes sense. Government jobs are about the only ones that offer really good health insurance these days. Congress may screw up the private sector but government health plans are awesome. My relatives tend to work for the government as long as they can to get their pensions and get health insurance for life. I, however, didn't follow the pack and my brother can remind me regularly, how stupid I was/am.

While I didn't put "tits" the fact remains...Tits don't tend to age well. Unfortunate but true.

Wendy said...

Almost three weeks of glorious weather once again, wIth brief sprinklings to keep the air fresh. Lovely. Fall is coming next week and with it, our rain. But, I LIKE rain. Besides, all that lovely weather and I am enjoying the fruits of it all...literally the fruits, one has fruit tattoos it seems,Now why is that?

Cheryl P. said...

I think that is where someone like checker-board man is screwed. He better have a career path that is OK with him looking like a freak. I am not entirely sure what career path that might be other than owning a tattoo parlor...and even that might be dicey for someone just wanting a small heart tattoo on their ankle. Wouldn't they worry that he might get carried away and ink up their whole leg?

All those wasted hours of cleaning yourself. Just think how trendy you would be today with ink covering your arms. You could of made the Huffington Post list and stood next to the Vampire girl. Probably just as well...she might of talked you into putting in horns.

Cheryl P. said...

You weather sounds lovely going into fall. We are still showing now rain in sight but I am having a new patio put in so I guess I will be Ok with it holding off a bit longer.
As to the ommission of fruit tattoos...Because there are a good percentage of NUTS in the world. They would rather have skulls and snakes on their bodies than something healthy like fruit.

meleahrebeccah said...

"It may or may not be that I am on my way to get inked with a message that is so profound that I feel the need to have it permanently displayed on my body. "

Hmm --- now I want to know if you're REALLY getting a tattoo?

"Matt Gone, better known as the Checkered Man, has 98% of his body covered in tattoos."

I'm sorry --- but that is CREEPY as FUCK!

"What about Isabel Varley?" That is some crazy shit too - but at least she didn't tattoo HER FACE!

And I have been officially traumatized, FOR LIFE, after looking at Maria Jose Cristerna.

I don't mind, "Vail, 22, competing this week in the 2014 Miss America Pageant, is the first contestant ever to sport visible tattoos." That's not terrifying.

lisleman said...

I don't understand that 75 yr. old Brit. Why would she sport such NORMAL looking nails? Given the permanency of ink I would suggest people consider weird nails since you can change or break them when you want.

You wrote a great limerick. thanks for the laugh!

Cheryl P. said...

With my luck, I would go and get a tattoo of something that in the "moment" I would think profound but then in the light of day it was just something stupid.

I have no plans on getting a tattoo but if I did it would be something like the one Jayne (injaynesworld) got. Something small and in a less than obvious place. Still as I don't care for's not likely going to happen EVER.

Creepy as fuck is exactly what that is on checkered man.

Thank god Isabel left her face alone but she certainly didn't do herself any favors with the rest of her body. Ick or ouch ....take your pick.

I was impressed by Vail. She sounds totally awesome. What a kick ass she-woman. I would take a body like that any day of the week. With or without a tattoo.

Cheryl P. said...

What an eye for detail. I didn't notice her nails. Your right...why are they so normal when clearly she isn't anything about being normal.

Agent 54 said...

4 years in the United States Marine Corps - no tattoos.

No my thing.

meleahrebeccah said...


Cheryl P. said...

My husband is tattoos for him either. Also, not his thing.

Scarlett Wonderland said...

All over body tattoos are terrifying, I do like the odd one though. Miss Kansas's is nice if you ask me xx

Cheryl P. said...

Hi Scarlett, So fun seeing a new name here.

I agree, There are tattoos that are meaningful for people and I don't have a problem with, well-placed, well-sized tattoos. Typically, the ones on the face tend to be "too much" (at least for me). Some are just seriously stupid such as the people that feel the need to put things like Phycho, Genius, or one guy even had tatooed "I'm an idiot."

BTW...if you have a blog, let me know...I would love to read it as well.

abeerfortheshower said...

Wow, who wouldn't want a nickname like "the Mexican Vampire Woman"? Or maybe I should say "the Unemployable Vampire Woman"? Totally worth looking like something that stepped out of a nightmare!

Cheryl P. said...

Pretty lofty goal to want to become a Mexican Vampire Woman...especially for a lawyer. Maybe there is a way to mesh those 2 careers. I will have to think about how hiring a overly-tattooed, vampire, might help or harm a case. HMMM.
Yep, a nightmare for sure. Although, I can't even imagine dreaming something that awful.

Jayne said...

And I thought I was being daring this year when I got a hummingbird on my shoulder...

Cheryl P. said...

Hi, nice of you to stop by and weigh in. I don't think 3 sounds excessive unless, of course, your like the checkered guy who may count the one that covers his entire body as "one" tattoo. You aren't the checkered guy are you?

Dexter Klemperer said...

I believe Miss Kansas has set a wonderful precedent and hopefully more women will be inspired by her example and get tattoos of prayers. That way I can always excuse myself, "No, I'm not checking out your body. I'm reading the Bible."

Cheryl P. said...

And I am sure that no one noticed Ms Kansas' smokin' body because they were so busy reading the Serenety Prayer.
If this becomes poplular will St. Pauli Girl believe that you are strickly watching the girls to check out the prayer content? Nah...I bet not.

slyde said...

Busted. Yup that was me!

CaliforniaGirl500 said...

Aww gee. Checkered guy is so-so. Looks like an X Man. The old lady w/ the "Illustrated Woman" thiing that a tat on her coochie? Oi. As for Vampira, well, being a lawyer probably really sucks. She's probably atoning for her sins.

Cheryl P. said...

You are right about the X Man similarity. I hadn't thought about that. I wondered the same thing about the older lady but then was so grossed out at the thought buried it deep into my subconscious. (I hope, it's deeply buried)

I couldn't get over her lawyer background. How did she ever get from point A to point B. Did she represent "one to many" tattoo artists that paid in services?