Rip Van Wrinkle

I am sure many of you have considered the possibility that you missed my "services".  Truth be told,  my obituary is still forthcoming. Thankfully so.  Hopefully, that gives me  time to do something interesting enough so that  my final bio isn't a  total snooze-fest relating to it's limited content.  Don't let anyone tell you that it's quantity over quality as far as obituaries go.  I have already lived a lot of years and can't come up with any entertaining synopsis that would entertain those of you that read the obits for fun.

I could just fall on the general excuse "I've been busy." as to my ongoing neglect of my poor blog and that's not necessarily a lie.  I seem to blow through the hours of the day about as fast as e-coli laced chicken travels through intestines but that isn't to say that those hours are made up of fascinating or fun events that I can expect anyone to be entertained or amused by. 

I have come to the realization that this period of my life that is currently lingering between my calling my current employment status as being retired, being unemployed or being a slug isn't eliciting a plethora of fun anecdotes that I can share with you.  Of course,  I could be selling it short on how much you want to hear about how hot Kansas is this year. 

Anyway, as I was saying...I am trying to find balance in my life  just as all generations struggle to do.   Being in charge of all my time sans the dictates of a job leaves a lot of wandering around aimlessly while figuring out  how to keep busy and simultaneously adding things that are productive, fulfilling, engaging, life affirming etc. into the mix along side of  all the mundane chores that have to be done.  Sadly all those pesky things like hygiene, sleep, nourishment, taking care of our homes, etc. don't seem to go away.  Also, we don't get to retire from the obligations.  Now there is a big time suck of a word...obligation.  Another O word might come into play as well that is the word obstacles. Yeah, just when things appear to be smooth sailing some drama-laced crap storm blows in to humble you into realizing you really don't have control of your time at all.

For example....Within days of my last post I was temporarily sidetracked by finding my 17 year old cat laying sprawled on the kitchen floor  appearing lifeless.  As it's not typical for cats to play dead, I was pretty sure that something was "off".   (NOTE:  I totally recognize for you folks out there that aren't "cat people"  this doesn't sound like a bad thing but for us "OMG cats are the BEST" seeing a cat potentially lifeless is a bad thing.)

Anyway...After my initial hysteria, I scooped up my baby and took her to the local vet hospital and she was put into intensive care.  Seriously, I know some of you aren't even believing that is a real thing, but I assure you it is real. There are veterinary ICU units.   Not only are they real but I now realize that this is the most ingenious way to make a living.  Face it...the second a vet tells you that your sweet animal can make a full recovery if given IV's, antibiotics, and maybe some dialysis  (ka-ching) are you really going to say "NO,  let's just watch my kitty die." Well...OK some of you are will say that but the rest of us aren't prepared to pull the plug.  

My Chantel is back to being her pretty self if only in looks. She is not a people person outside of her family.

Needless to say, after my sweet baby got out of the ICU, she required private nursing care provided by "moi" for a couple of weeks and she did get back to her  feisty self.  In fact, she was pretty much back to her usual nastiness (as it applies to any person in our house that she doesn't know and/or approve of),  by the time that we were getting ready to start yet another remodeling project.

Yes, you read that correctly. We are flawed human beings that just can't leave well enough alone.  We invite obstacles into our house and serve them milk and cookies. We know in our heart of hearts that there has never been a problem-free renovation project in the entire span of human existence but still we decide to "just get a quote" to find out what it would take to tear out the old and put in something shiny and new. 

Needless to say that that quote manifested into an actual project...well projects really. Over the  last few months, we  have continued our quest to never be able to recoup the amount of money we have poured into our house.  Had I really died during my absence of blogging, I can only hope that my husband and children would of  turned our freshly updated abode into a mausoleum so I could have continued to stay here long enough to  feel secure in that I got my money's worth out of the new bathrooms and kitchen redo.  I am pretty sure that time span would broach eternity, so perhaps I should, in fact, find out what the zoning rules are to get a conditional use permit for changing our residence into our final resting place. 

I always try to remember that any and all home projects are NEVER going to be without headaches but just as in childbirth, you try to tell yourself somewhere in the future that it wasn't really all that bad and it was so worth the pain.

For future reference I will do my best to remember some profound truths. 

A.  No matter how good the reviews are for a company, assume the company owners paid random family members to be their references.

B.  Realize that at least a half of the workers probably  have no actual talent or knowledge of the job you are having done but the person in charge hired them off the street corner an hour before they strapped on that tool belt and showed up at your door. I am convinced that anyone can look professional given a great tool belt with DeWalt logos within view.  Sadly, looking like a tradesman isn't the same as being a tradesman.

C.  When the company you hire says all the right things, makes endless promises and gives you a speedy time line,  assume that they are telling you  a fairy tale.  It's so beautiful when there is a "happily ever after" at the end of the story but it is becoming my experience that the endings usually seem to be similar to a Tim Burton script.  We may hope that we are going to deal with a Prince Charming but you might have to deal with someone like Beetlejuice or Edward Scissorhands. 


It's not that I don't like the finished product as it pertains to my kitchen,  but I am not entirely convinced the juice is worth the squeeze.  After every promised timeline that came and went unfinished, I became a little more agitated. THEN, when it finally looked like the kitchen was nearing completion, one of the workers dropped a saw that damaged two cabinet doors necessitating that they go back to the shop to be sanded down and re-finished.  Weeks later, after begging and pleading for my cabinet doors to be returned, I was starting to wonder if the doors were never to be seen again.  It's not that I had a particular attachment to those specific doors but the idea of trying to get yet another company that could match them seemed like a big pain in the butt. Not to mention, by this time I had already paid for the cabinets to the company that semi-completed the work and currently seemed OK with keeping both my money and my doors.

Up to that point I had been relying on using tact and politeness as my weapons.  Clearly that wasn't working. So I toyed with other options.

Option 1  ...  Go to the company's listed address and take back what is mine.  I decided against this tactic as I realize stealing back what is yours (allegedly) might land you in jail for 9 years before parole comes to your rescue.  Jail is for real and we have already talked about this in prior posts.  I am not equipped to use a toilet in front of other people.  It's what keeps me honest.

Option 2  ...  Start getting more forceful with my many, MANY text messages.  The last one that I ultimately did NOT send read, "Who must I f*** to get my cabinet doors back?"  I hesitated to send this particular message as I was a little on the fence whether a few of those workers might be into that idea.  Frankly, at least a couple of them didn't appear  like they would to be all that fussy who they  might "do". 

 Finally, I decided to let Hubby take up the gauntlet.  He had been working out of town during the whole kitchen redo debacle so I figured he hadn't become as jaded as I was. 

Basically, I think he made ONE phone call and demanded that they  get off their asses and bring my cabinet doors over ASAP.   Had I known it was just a matter of siccing Hubby on them, I would of done that weeks ago.

So, now I am temporarily back to having some control over my time and my activities before the next obstacle comes my way or before I lose my mind and figure out another activity that will stress and annoy me.


BTW...to all the bloggers that I have let down by not keeping up with you.  I am going to get to yours sites and see how your doing.  Hope all is well and obstacle free.

Nesters and Investors

A couple of weeks ago, I read a book with the title, House written my Michael Ruhlman. Not a nail-biting-page-turner-can't-put-it-down kind of book for the masses, I suspect.  I, however found it very interesting.   As I was saying in my previous post,  it is the love of houses that keeps me semi-attached to my job as a Realtor. Conversely, it is the dislike of working with crazed buyers and sellers that is accounting for the semi-disconnection to my job.  It would make sense for me to put my real estate licenses on hold in the various states to which I am professionally bound, if for no other reason than not having to deal with their yearly renewal processes.  BUT, the thing is I continue to love to research the market, see all that is for sale and visit homes.   Now you might just think this is me being nosy but it's more than that.  I am fascinated with all things dealing with houses and how people connect with them.

Was there a time that bad floor plans redefined cultures?

In the case of Mr. Ruhlman, he tells the story of why he moved back to his hometown of Cleveland from New York City to buy a 100 year old fixer-upper. The book basically is a memoir of how he, his wife, along with their two small children searched for an historic home, lived in the attic for the better part of a year during renovations and the reasons he yearned to do this and why his wife didn't.  He admits that he felt something akin to  a fish swimming upriver to it's native spawning grounds to get back to the place he grew up in.

Michael had grown up in one home for the 18 years before going off to school, while his wife had moved  numerous times with her parents growing up.   She hadn't really connected to a place that she considered as "her home town".  Clearly these two have different visions of what constitutes a home. In their case, he yearned for a feeling of inclusion to a community.  He needed to know the neighbors, be near extended family, and be part of the continuum of his history into the future.  His wife wanted a decent house that met their needs and she would of preferred it to be in New York City. She conceded that Cleveland would be a good place to raise their kids.

There often seems to be a huge divide between how people connect to a residence. Some people depend on their home to be their sanctuary, while others merely consider it a stop gap from being caught in the rain.  Being emotionally invested  to a home is inherently different that  residing in house where the scope of your commitment is calling it  your "current address".

Often, I can get a sense  of  how emotionally connected a buyer or seller is to their home within a very short span of time. There are times, however, that people are hard pressed to separate the nostalgia and sentiment of their house from the financial and the investment potential. Most buyers and sellers can claim they are being objective but nearly every sales/purchase transaction has at least some emotional component causing someone to emotionally implode.

Removing outwardly signs of emotional attachments from peoples homes seems to be a trend.  When I started real estate, for example, people cleaned their homes, put away the clutter, made some repairs and such to get their home ready to market.  Then a couple of decades ago, STAGING happened.  At that point people started redecorating their homes prior to selling them so they could get top dollar.  To accomplish this they were more concerned  with the aesthetics of their house than either the functionality or the preventative maintenance.  At that point the flow of the floor plan garnered the same amount of value at the quality of the countertops or the size of the master closet.  This process of making homes more impersonal added the extra level of removing personal belonging and any type of personal memorabilia.  Photos became verboten.

Yes..the pendulum swung even farther.  Now homes are being stripped down to the bones prior to sale because there is a trend that says that buyers need to imagine their own things in a home so the seller must clear out any sign of personalize.  Pictures on the wall...heaven forbid!  Rooms painted anything other that subtle, trendy colors, don't even think about it! Even furnishings are being sent to storage to make "rooms appear bigger".  All of this, of course, is subjective.

Beyond the point of buying or selling though...there seems to be the nesters, investors, and dissenters
, .  Sometimes people are both.  The nesters of the world, love their homes and continually make them "their own".  Now "making them their own" is unique to every person.  To a minimalist it may be barren looking to most of us or to a hoarder it may be suffocating to most of us but then it's not really OUR home is it?  They don't care if their home appeals to the masses.  The investors are more cautious and want their home to appeal to the majority of potential buyers.  They make improvements based on possible future buyers than doing whatever they REALLY would love to do to their home.  The dissenters don't care about whether their house is their sanctuary nor do they care what someone else thinks of their house either.

Of course, it really doesn't matter how emotionally invested or detached a person is to their residence unless it is colliding with the point of view of the other people that reside in that same residence.  OR if they need a Realtor to help them buy or sell their house.  In that case. let's try our best to start behaving like investors.

So, my readers...are you a nester, an investor, a dissenter or a combination of two or more of those.  Do you love and cherish your home or is it a place to lay your head for now?  

Is That Your Home or Is That Your House?

Shall I bore you with shop talk today?  I have been working on a few real estate transactions as of late. As most of my regular readers know, I have been a Realtor for a very long time. In fact, I have all but retired from it at this point.  However,  every once in awhile, I get a call and can't force myself to say NO.  I can only attribute this to, perhaps, the first signs of senility.

Every time I dip my toe into a real estate transaction, it reminds me why people should retire at some point from their jobs.  For me it's the blatant reminder how "unfun" the process of dealing with anything linked to banks, large amounts of money and people can be. It could be said that for most people the process of spending or trying to recoup large amounts of money doesn't bring out the best in their personalities.

Plus, a lot of things have changed since I got my first real estate agent's license in the mid-1980s.  Most of it "not for the better" as it relates to working in the real estate industry.  BUT, I have to say, I still find the topic of homes and how people live in them fairly interesting.  I am a sucker for those in our society that still put value in their home for it's sense of well being and security as opposed to just four walls and a roof.  After 35 years of doing this, I can quickly size up the "nesters" versus the "residers".   How these groups buy and sell homes is decidedly different. (More about that later...just a spoiler alert that will be another post)

Anyway, circling back to my current tasks in real estate, some dear friends are retiring and needed to sell their house to "downsize".  This deal was easy-peasy because our friends are sane.  I know one shouldn't have to make that distinction but given that most people lose their minds when selling or buying a house, the fact these folks didn't needs to garner your respect and admiration for them.  They priced their house well, it was spotlessly clean and they were agreeable, friendly people during the negotiations.  Hallelujah!

In one of the other deals  in play, the other agent involved called the sellers "salty dogs".  Does that give you an indicator how well that is going?  But this is the new normal, now.  In most deals there is a contentious environment. It's the buyers versus the sellers versus the agents versus the bankers.  With all that being said, there are sometimes ineffective real estate agents, (load of them, in fact!) crummy mortgage lenders, dishonest sellers, and naive buyers.  There are valid reasons for real estate transactions to be volatile.

As for all of the unnecessary animosity being so common today, it seems to be where society has landed in so many scenarios.   Negotiating just seems to have gotten more difficult for people over the years.  A common theme seems to be that expectations are set high and willingness to compromise is set low.  That  seems to be the current trend.

 In the dark ages when I began working in real estate, people buying homes were evaluating the  "bones" of a house.  Prospective buyers would walk through a house and look past any of the decor and contemplate things like the floor plan, number of bedrooms and bathrooms and (most importantly) if the price of the house reflected the quality and condition of the home. There was less emphasis on everything being exactly fine-tuned to the buyer's tastes.  Buyers weren't so quick to assume that they were being cheated and seller's didn't seem to be so fixated on getting more than the neighbor down the street because that house didn't have the beautiful custom mural of Augusta National Golf Course in the den. Who wouldn't love that?

 Sure there are still some buyers that are willing to take on a fixer upper for the right price. (thank you Chip and Joanna Gains and/or the Property Bros.) but for the most part people want what they want.  What they want currently is for  everything to be perfect  and it probably should include hardwood floors, granite, and stainless steel....oh and they want the house to be a steal of a deal.

Yes, there certainly been a lot of changes in the industry in the 30+ years that I have been involved, Probably two of the greatest impacts would be the Internet and HGTV.  It's changed people's expectations on how buying or selling a house should look and feel.  It's not quite as fun and entertaining as the house hunting TV shows might imply.

Ultimately, even removing my cynicism and the constant drip of nostalgia that reminds me of an easier time, I do LOVE when people find a home.  Not a HOUSE, mind you....but a home.  These are two very different things.


To Be Continued....

It Wasn't Curiosity that Killed the Cat

Brace yourselves!  I don't want the shock of seeing a new post from me to cause any cardiac events.  Honestly, steady yourselves because with healthcare insurance in a flux, you may or may not be covered.

After a non-stop deluge of activity around here (and none of it particularly exciting) I have a bit of time to chat.

Just to catch you up a bit....we have been on a never ending "remodel" of our house.  What started out with the intention of remodeling one bathroom but that quickly morphed into multiple rooms getting a major "redo". Clearly, we are insane.

If my mind and house weren't in enough chaos, we had out-of-town guests for a few days last week.  Now...don't misunderstand me!  I love having guests.  Truly, I do!  Just come and visit me and I will prove it to you.  BUT...and this is a fairly hefty BUT....it is often hard to entertain people that are very different in their interests and/or tastes than you are. No criticism, you understand.  It's just a case of different strokes for different folks.

This became painfully clear last week while trying to entertain people that live very differently in every aspect than we do.  That is not to say that their life is any better or worse than ours... but just different than ours.  Living in a large metropolitan city of over 3 million people is not everyone's lifestyle choice.  I get it!!  Traffic, congestion, lack of personal space seems to make people crazy if they are used to rural living.  I totally understand that.  I have lived in rural areas and small towns and find the peaceful, wide-open spaces wonderful.  Unfortunately, if you are staying in my guest room, I can't remove it from the geographical area of Kansas City.

Which is leading me to today's subject.  If you were in a new location (even if it was for a few days) aren't you even a least bit curious about "what's things are interesting?", "what is there to do?" or "what is there to eat?"  Are you a curious person????

Hubby and I are both major players on team "curiosity".  We are the type of people that drive the back roads to wherever we go, pull off the road to read historical markers, and visit museums that no one would actually consider to be a "real" museum. In cities that we are unfamiliar with, we seek out the local points of interest with the same fervor that the FBI tracks down one of the most wanted.

The subject of how different people's level of participation in "things to do and see" became evident recently when we were visiting a local museum here in KC in the River Market part of town.  There is a museum here that houses a pre-Civil War steamboat,  paddle wheeler (Steamboat Arabia) that was dug up from 45 foot under the Missouri River.  It sunk in 1856 while hauling 222 TONS of pre-Civil War goods to towns along the Missouri River.  Thanks to the glorious mud that sealed off all manner of air and light, the cargo came up not showing a bit of wear and tear.  Well...except for a mule that went down with the ship....he doesn't look quite as good as he did when the boat sank.

Anyhow...as I was saying about people with regards to their level of curiosity...there were a couple of people from New York in the tour that were totally fascinated by the artifacts and asked a lot of questions. (LOVED THEM!) and they mentioned that they had dragged their Kansas City relatives whom they were visiting to see the museum.  The Kansas kin folk had never visited the museum and it was apparent to me and anyone that saw them there was a definite lack of enthusiasm on their part for the sight of an enormous paddlewheel that was hauled out of the muck of the Missouri River.

Two days later while we continued to  force-feed our guests more KC tourist attractions, we signed up for the Boulevard Brewery tour.  AGAIN... I see different levels of enthusiasm among the crowd for drinking free beer.  OK...even if Boulevard Wheat or Pale Ale isn't your alcoholic cup of tea...IT's FREE!!!  Let's show some enthusiasm, folks.

I realize this need to see all that is to be seen stems from a long line of curious kin folk.  You might remember in long ago written posts,  that even as a small child riding around on the rear deck of my dad's old car (safety be damned in the 50's and 60's) we stopped to see every Civil War site, haunted house, cave, or "odd" museum that was in the continental U.S.  If there was a point of interest to be seen off of some random state highway, it beckoned us to stop and savor it's greatness.  There hardly exists a state that I haven't traveled the back roads to see some funky and unusual "claim to fame".

So, my blogger friends...I invite you to come to visit any ole time you want but beware that you will be wrangled into eating at old dive barbecue joints, visit random museums,  traipse around Country Club Plaza  and  you may possibly be forced to drink free beer.  Don't say I haven't warned you.  I hope you like adventures.

Valentine's Day

I am a big fan of romance.  I swoon over tales of true love and adore tales of happy endings. I delight in  hearing people's stories of how they found each other and formed a mutual love.  (Sadly...I am also pragmatic and realize that  some of those anticipated happy endings didn't  always come out the way one would of hoped.)    Still....I tend to be a sap for stories of love.

I find it fascinating how miraculous it is that among the thousands of people we have met (or will meet) that we manage to find a person to love and be lucky enough to have them love us back.   To be fair, I guess it's not so much luck as it is choosing well.   Of course, there might be a bit of luck needed to recognize the person we are choosing,  for who they really are. 

 
This morning I was driving to the gym and heard the radio announcer proclaim that today was the most romantic day of the year.   Yes, today....  February 14th, ....the pressure is on.  We are to dig deep into our hearts (and possibly our wallets) to express our devotion for our mate, partner, husband, wife ....someone???...anyone??????

If you follow all the advertising and marketing...today is the day for a grand gesture.  Flowers, candy, jewelry seemingly is the way we are supposed to recognize the amount we are loved.  One jewelry store chain comes right out and says that the quality of a diamond is an indicator of your level of devotion.  Forty-six (ish)  years ago when I chose my engagement ring I was going for beautiful while being "affordable" more than a measuring tool but I might of not been enlighten to how that was supposed to work.  My then boyfriend now husband, who was home on leave from the Army probably would of sprung for whatever I chose as his mood was pretty happy to be "home on leave."
Even then, I just wasn't into needing grand gestures.

As with all things.. some of this leaves me a bit conflicted about Valentine's Day.  (I'll bet you sensed that already, right???) The romantic side of me likes to think that loving gestures of the "non-purchased" kind are exchanged within couples 365 days a year and that not too much emphasis is put on a person to come up with a  "purchased" gesture for a single day.

Not that an occasional grand gesture isn't a great thing  but for me when I tell hubby that it really isn't necessary to buy me flowers, (which he is prone to do) candy, gifts  or any token of affection...I MEAN it.   Seriously, I am not one of those people that say don't and then get pissy because "someone" didn't.

On the subject of Valentine's Day....there is an anti-Valentine's Day contest going on over at  Life By Chocolate: Robyn Alana Engel's Blog.  It appears that I am not the only one that has some alternative/conflicting thoughts about this holiday.     I entered a few cartoons that leaned towards the lesser romantic leanings of the holiday. 

Crabby is trying to cut down on her use of bad words. 

Soooo...my wonderful readers, I hope you have someone that is worthy of doing a grand gesture for EVEN if it isn't needed or expected.  Have a great Valentine's Day.

This is how my other house mate would convey a sweet sentiment.

It's Kind of a Big Deal

A few weeks ago I was reading an article in USA Today about a survey conducted by the Sesame Street Workshop organization.  As I have a vested interest in Sesame Street by the virtue of parking my two children in front of their program pretty much non-stop for the bulk of their pre-school years. (Don't judge me). In my defense, moms in the 1970's were brainwashed into thinking that Mr. Rogers, the Electric Company crew and the cast of Sesame Street would turn our uneducated 3 year olds into reading and spelling prodigies. Who knows??...  Maybe my children's later successes are in large part due to the efforts of Big Bird.  Sadly, I never sent him a thank you note.  Bad manners on my part I suspect. Regret is an evil emotion.

Well...Back to the subject of the survey.  Sesame Street is now in it's 47th year and tackling the subject of kindness with an emphasis on empathy. According to the article both teachers and parents are worried that today's kids are growing up in an unkind, unempathetic world. Sesame Street creators are going to try to enlighten the little heathens among us by teaching them  how to recognize kindness, emulate it and  how they might look at something from another person's point of view.

I have to think that this is a complicated mission.  The survey included the opinions of  2000 parents and 500 teachers and there seemed to be a lot of confusion between those surveyed as to what is constitutes kindness. Kindness means different things to different people. There is a lot of gray area between using good manners and truly possessing a generous spirit toward others.   If this  murky, undefined  concept of "what exactly constitutes kindness?" wasn't enough of a hurdle for their survey, there were many that questioned "what is the difference between empathy and sympathy?"

After the survey result were in, Jeffery D. Dunn, the CEO of Sesame Workshop said "This survey confirms our concerns. It is time for a national conversation about kindness."

Jennifer Kotler Clark, a researcher at Sesame Workshop said both parents and teachers overwhelmingly felt that being kind was more important than being academically successful. (Note: Hey kids...try using that line on your parents when you get a bad grade.  "Sure I got a D in Algebra but I sure treat my fellow classmates with the utmost respect.")


Kotler Clark went on to say that during the survey they substituted words to represent kindness including empathy, helpfulness, thoughtfulness, politeness, and manners.  When asked which is more important manners or empathy, 58 percent of the parents said manners. Katler Clark suggested that maybe parents assume if a child is mannerly that they are also empathetic. Not so fast, she cautioned.  Bullies are great at using good manners around adults.

While  the parents thought that manners were more important than empathy,  63 percent of the  teachers  ranked empathy as more important than manners.  Only 30 percent of the teachers said that parents are raising their children with values consistent with their teachers.  OUCH!!  Fifty percent of the teachers surveyed said they felt that being kind is not a top priority.  (Did they mean from the perspective of the children, the parents or themselves?  Hey teachers!...use complete sentences.)

According to the article, research has proven that self-regulation, and pro-social behaviors in children are a predictor for future health, financial stability, and academic success.  Supposedly, kids not only need to see and recognize examples of these types of behaviors but they need to practice them.

Rosemary Truglio said that this year Sesame Street is making kindness a top priority. She said they want to make it more explicit. (I am assuming she means that in a good way.) The show wants to get beyond the niceness of manners. (Although....let's not gloss over that too much...manners matter.)


So what's your thoughts, readers?  Is empathy being taken over by narcissism?  Are children not seeing and recognizing behaviors that teach them to be kind?  Collectively, are we becoming a civilization of  people that choose not to care how others feel?

Off to a Slow Start

New Years Day has come and gone and I have yet to scream and shout at the top of my lungs...how much I want you all to have the BEST YEAR EVER!!!!

So let me do it now.  I am screaming it out at this very minute.  Can you hear me???? 

I know a few of my regular readers have mentioned various illnesses, broken bones, ongoing hangovers, incarceration (OK...I might not be entirely clear on that person's excuse).... but all in all... other bloggers seem to have  really valid reasons why they haven't posted or read blogs as of late.  I, on the other hand, will go with the general "catch all" excuse of being busy.  I realize that it's rather vague, unimaginative, and lacking of any detail but it also sounds far better than the words lazy and preoccupied.   

Our last house guest left 3 days ago and I no longer get  to sit around and talk someone's ear off, ply them with baked goods and haul them around Kansas City in search of the best barbecue  joints therefore, I should be getting caught up soon...real soon.

As I am now left to my solo endeavors in a amazingly empty house, I could/should  get crackin' on my list of things I resolve to accomplish this year.

I am not a resolution maker per se.  BUT....every January I feel the need to reevaluate, reorganize, and continue my quest to find balance in my life and home.  Oh yeah..  and let's not forget the all but obligatory.....I resolve to eat healthier and exercise more just like  99 percent of the population will resolve to do. 

I don't know why but every New Year I feel a pull within my soul to clean every closet and drawer within the confines of this house and decide what can stay and what must go.  It is only after the local charity drop off facility bans me from returning due to their space constraints that I  start to feel like I am accomplishing something.  Somewhere in my subconscious,  it seems, requires that having things tidy at the start of the year gives me a  boost for getting  the year off to a strong start.  I have no proof that it matters but still,.... we annually  spend the necessary time to get everything clean and organized in January.

I wish that I could clean up the other messes of the world as easily as a person can clean out a closet and divest it of the old and worn items.  I am wanting  generous amounts of "shiny and bright" to be infused in all things this year. Did any one else feel like 2016 was lack luster?

Here's hoping for a New Year that has more civility, less violence, more consideration and less contentiousness.


Hope your year is off to a wonderful start! I wish for you shiny and bright!

Maybe Santa Wasn't Watching

Considering the Christmas season now starts about the time Halloween rolls around, you would think that I have had time to get ready for it, wouldn't you? This point was hit home yesterday when I was talking to a person on the treadmill next to me at the gym.  She innocently asked if I was finished getting ready for Christmas.  Then she said she was finished in October.   In the moment I sort of hated her.  

It's not that I haven't been in a flurry of activity for most of November and December but I still have a few things to accomplish.  This is the part where I could give you lame excuses about my continued absences of posting to TAOBC.   I will spare you the long version and just say that the halls have been decked and the stockings have been hung at this point.  It pretty much resembles an explosion of Christmas around here in anticipation of the big day. All but a few gifts are ready and waiting.  There will be a mad dash for gift cards for the couple of people that I just can't think of ANYTHING to get them.  NOTHING IS COMING TO MIND! For all of you that are judging me harshly, I can live with your scorn. 

Aside from my struggles with buying the "perfect" gift, there have been a couple other setbacks.  Is anyone else on the verge of a diabetic coma without the component of actually being diabetic?  I have been baking up a storm of goodies and have pretty much eaten my weight in English toffee.  This is not a good thing.  Luckily for everyone involved, family members are due to start arriving tomorrow so I will have to start sharing.

 Despite some of the problems, I have made strides this year as far as shopping goes.  I have been out and about in the shopping centers and have actually (for the most part) enjoyed it.  You might recall that in years past my inner Crabby Pants didn't find the crowds to be one of the great joys of my life.

You long time readers might remember a poem from a couple of years ago that sums up my joy of mall shopping during the holidays. (Isn't nostalgia heartwarming?)

If you are unable to read the print, you should be able to enlarge it by clicking on it.

AND another nice thing that I have noticed. Could it be that  this year more people are shopping on line?   At least in our area,  the traffic is just  "medium" crazy not "over the top" crazy. While there is certainly more traffic than usual the closest I have come to a problem is that I about killed Santa Claus.  Yes, Santa ran a four way stop in front of me yesterday.   He looked to be the real one so I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt that he has a lot on his mind.  The fact that he is driving a little smart car made me kind of feel sorry for him.  He looked fairly jolly given the fact he looked "stuffed" into the vehicle. Still...I would hate to have to been the responsible party for running over Santa 4 days before Christmas.  I suspect that would really put me on the naughty list.

Besides...I really have to try to be nice to Santa. Leaving him in a smooshed smart car probably isn't the most expedient way to get the things I have asked for this year.  (Coordination, increased optimism and the ability to eat non-stop without ever gaining weight are a few of my requests.)   I am working very hard to be a more positive person in 2017.

Hope you all are getting close to being ready for whatever festivities you are planning for. OR were you ready in October? 

That Time of Year

Has it really been 3 weeks since I last posted?  Shame on me.   All I can say for myself is that it is "that time of year".

You know the time of which I speak.  In theory it seems that everything should be slowing down a bit as the weather gets colder and the days get shorter.  Of course, that is not reality.  The reality is that while the days may, indeed, be getting shorter as in "less daylight" but the demands on our time seem to remain ever vigilant.   PLUS...holiday preparation rears it's demanding little head, nagging us to be strategically planning for Thanksgiving/Christmas/Hanuka/Kwanzaa and/or whatever holidays you have going for you.

Currently I am sporting a bit of a cynical attitude.  ( I know...shocking isn't it?) I am feeling a bit saddened that Thanksgiving got over shadowed by Christmas decorations and the anticipation of Black Friday and Cyber Monday.  While this has been going on for several years, it appeared to me that Black Friday is now usurping the whole meaning of Thanksgiving and hogging the month with weeks and weeks of  PRE-Black Friday deals and steals.

With all that being said, I am clearly in the minority here with my negativity on the subject.  A early analysis of the numbers tells us that 154 million people were out shopping over the weekend.  The fact that since all the pre-black Friday advertising began (supposedly) people have spent around 36 Billion (yea...billion with a B) dollars.   

I have to think that perhaps I am not alone in my inner conflicts.  It seems to me that the whole country talks about the season of love and thankfulness in the same breath as they are spending hours scrutinizing the Internet and paper ads looking for the big bargains that they are hoping to get on more STUFF.

Not to be a total party-pooper, I typically find my holiday spirit in holiday baking, Christmas music, and all the pretty holiday decorations. OH and I do love a lot of the Hallmark Christmas movies.  Sure you can say they are sappy, but I think they are sweet.  I am prepared to immerse myself into holiday movies to remind me that everything about the holidays is about love and joy and has the added bonus of a happy ending.  Not reality you say???

Reality is a thing of the past according to the rise of virtual reality head gear.  I was reading an article about the newest techy devices on the market to stream VR programming.  Let me be the first to say that I would totally embrace a virtual world where children are awestruck by the lights and sounds of the holidays.  I suspect though that just as with many other things, young children are so inundated with the commercialism of Christmas that they no longer even notice how special the decorations are let alone the meaning of it all. The added component of decorations coming out in August (or is it now July?) doesn't help foster awe.

I know this picture is grainy as it is 60 plus years old but this is a picture taken in Kankakee, Illinois.  It was, in fact, taken nearly a year prior to my birth but Schuyler Avenue remained pretty much the same through my childhood.   I LOVED going Christmas shopping and seeing all the Christmas lights.  Sadly, the wreaths that were put on every light pole are not terribly pretty in a black and white photo but to my little child eyes they were magical. It was looking not so differently 17 years later when I got my engagement ring at Edward's Jewelry...also at Christmas time. 

Anyway as I was saying...where is the magic?  If we  now require head gear to live in alternate, virtual reality shouldn't THAT be magical and wonderful???

In the same paper that was talking about the choices we now have for virtual reality head gear there was a separate article about  a virtual reality program that allows you to actually feel what it is like to die in a traffic accident.  Yeah, how much fun is that?  I can hardly wait to ask Santa for some of that escapism....well that is if I can't find it online in a POST Black Friday give away. 

The placement of Black Friday being the day after Thanksgiving seems questionable.

Hope you all had a lovely Thanksgiving and have plenty to be grateful for. 

Don't Scratch That Itch

I was reading the USA Today and it said that 52 percent of the US population is experiencing stress related to the election. Really?  Only 52 percent?  I would of guessed more but then they didn't ask me my opinion.  Will anyone other than me, be glad when the election is over?

Although...if I weren't being irritated by the landslide of political ads, articles and junk mail telling me why or why not I should vote for or against someone or something, I don't know what I would fill my time with.  I am currently playing on a pretty flat field of "boring".  Autumn lull, I guess.  I am sure that this post will reflect on just how little is going on in my life right now. Yes,  I defy anyone to ask me what I am  currently doing  for fun and expect an answer anytime soon.  If being dull was classified a sport, I am good for the gold.
 

Autumn around here usually has me working out in the garden getting things pruned, mulched and prepared for the cold weather. The first "freeze"  usually arrives around late October.  This year, however, the cold isn't anywhere to be seen or felt, as the case may be.  Despite the fact,  it has been feeling a lot more like summer than fall,  the leaves are doing what leaves do this time of year. They are falling by the bushel into never ending piles that regenerate as quickly as I rake them up.   In years past, I might say that I enjoy tending to my gardens in the Fall and find a measure of serenity in tidying things up for the winter but this year there is a rub. Actually, it's an itch.   A beyond human endurance kind of itch thanks to an infestation of a nasty pests that go by the name oak leaf mites.  Often they are called itch mites for obvious reasons.

Over the years, I have come to a certain understanding that Kansas is intent on driving gardeners mad in a number of ways.  There are four seasons that are respectively: tornado, flood, drought and blizzard that make growing things a bid tricky here but on top of that, we have a climate where cool weather grasses can't take the summers and the warm weather grasses can't stand the winters.  Are you starting to see a bit of a problem with gardening here yet?

Well...there's more.  Just when good gardeners have done all they can to to add cubic yards of compost to the clay so they might be able to break ground without the aid of a jackhammer and backhoe, and have planted the short list of plants that can survive,  we now are the recipients of an unexpected (and dare I say?...unwelcome) guest....the aforementioned oak leaf mite.

Daily...and I do mean daily..there are articles in the local papers talking about the infestation of these microscopic pests that float through the air and land on people without their knowledge.  Four or more hours later the person (or landing strip  if you prefer), will find a lot of  blistery welts that itch like a mosquito bite times a billion.  Yeah, like that.

According to the articles we should cover up our arms and legs, limit our time outdoors, use DEET products liberally  and shower immediately after coming indoors.  As much fun as all that sounds, none of it is working all that spectacularly.  Of course, it's hard to say if the numerous bites that made their way onto our spot-riddled, itchy hides are just from mites or is it a combo pack of chigger bites, mosquito bites and the oak tree mites.  They all seem to have had a banner year here.

SOOO..with all that being said, these pests are sucking the joy (and body fluids) out of gardening. The up-tick is that the first hard freeze is supposedly going to take care of them.  Should I be happy about their impending demise?  Maybe that makes me heartless.  It most assuredly makes me less itchy though. 

Hope you all are itch free and having fun.

Conversation, May You Rest In Peace

There seems to be an abundance of talking, texting, and tweeting going on as of late but I can't help but notice how little conversation there is.  Frankly, I find it troubling.

As a little girl I spent a lot of time with my paternal grandparents who resided in the South. It was an era when the men would gather at the "filling" station to sit on the bench, drink their Yoohoos and Dr. Peppers and visit...at length.  Their conversations were usually pleasant with a lot of head nodding but even when they disagreed, it all seemed friendly enough.  Their chats consisted of stories of the past as well as all the current local news. These men stayed friends for life. Maybe all that sharing bonded them in some way. Those that were still living shuffled their way into his funeral.

The act of getting together to visit wasn't solely a male activity back then.  This was true for the women as well.  Women in that area met for "quilting bees" which was done around a big wooden frame while women hand stitched quilt blocks onto fabric but as they worked they were catching up on all the local stories.  I learned a lot about life listening to the chatter.

 For example: At one point when I was eavesdropping the conversation was about a lady named Sally that lived down the road. Sally had started a little side business "visiting" with men during the day when her husband was working out in the fields. From the tone of the conversation, I gathered that the women weren't enthusiastically supporting Sally's entrepreneurial exploits.  I later asked my grandma why men would want to visit with Miss Sally as she was really scary looking and was minus a lot of her teeth.  My grandma assured me that the men weren't paying to look at her face. 

Anyway....I come from a long line of people that enjoy just sitting around talking. That would be  the long-winded, storytelling, killing time, kind of talking.  I am saddened that it is disappearing. 

Every now and then I see glimpses of this style of conversation but it's becoming rarer.  Usually, I find that conversation, even when spoken out loud as opposed to communicating via devices, it tends to be more likened to a volleying of quips.  Not so much expounding on facts or ideas as much as pitching short thoughts at someone while they try to punt their ideas back at you, often while you are still talking.

If you ever have watched the television program,  The View, you know what I mean.  OR if you watched any of the current political debates, you can see what I am talking about.  Basically, it's an auditory assault more than a two way conversation.

Last week was a busy week for me as I had to spend some extra time preparing for the computer class I teach to "senior" seniors.  We are currently working on how to use our smartphones and tablets.  Part of the struggle of teaching 80 and 90 year olds about this type of technology is trying to explain "why" at their age any of this technology is even worth the effort to learn.

The reason they want to learn it is to stay connected to their families.  One gentleman in the class was saying about the time he had developed a great way to communicate with his grandson through emails, his grandson had moved onto texting.  The boy now has stated he would prefer chat via text messaging.  So  Chuck (name changed as he may not want me talking about him) bought an iPhone and now  is eager to learn the ins and outs of texting.

My heart breaks. I suggested he trade in his grandson but he seems very attached to the one he has and is willing to become a proficient texter.  I asked him the age of this particular grandson and he replied the child is now 18.  I hope against hope that this child will grow into a man and sit down with his grandfather to talk.  I, of course want for them to have  REAL lengthy conversations that grandson can reflect on when he is in his 80s.  Is that too much to ask?

Frankly, I am tired of the art of talking being reduced to status updates.   I am prepared to blame both Facebook and Twitter for  their part in turning the tide on the old relaxed give-and-take style of talking to this "one sided" launching of words into the territory of someone else's "one side" launching of words.  One could always hope that at some point the ideas land together in some meaningful  way to form a conversation.

BUT...technology conspires against those of us that long for lengthy, wordy, descriptive talk fests. Just as Chuck's grandson many people have embraced a text only lifestyle that is reduced to shorthand, abbreviated words or even worse.... communicating with emojis.  Take for example: Recently a car company conducted a customer satisfaction survey but asked the participants to answer only in emojis. They have a commercial that shows  a portion of this survey as well.   Visualize me having a sad face.

If I wasn't already a bit peeved at the current lack of expansive and civil conversation, yesterday I received an email from Twitter. It asked me if I know how to Tweet.  I could think that their comment sounded a bit accusatory but they aren't entirely wrong.  While I am surprised that they have missed  seeing my tweets among their millions of users, they seem to have grasped part of the problem with me and Twitter.  I just don't "get" it.

I must not be alone in this, though, because I was just reading an article that said 60 percent of people that signed up for Twitter  never used it past trying a tweet or two.  I initially thought I would be great at Twitter as I am somewhat a twit but it didn't take me long to realize that I am not great a keeping within the bounds of 140 characters.  Nor am I particularly great at coming up with hilarious one liners at a moment's notice.  I am failing at Twitter.  I may never actually accomplish a Twoosh  (a perfect 140 character Tweet but remain secure in my belief  that it doesn't make me less of a person.)
I am willing to confess that I am challenged to say what I want to say when given a mandated character count.

A Twoosh is a Tweet that is exactly 140 characters long.

But that brings me back to my class of seniors that want to board the Facebook and Twitter train thinking that it's taking them someplace fun and relevant.   In my heart of hearts, I think that they have far more to teach the techies than the techies have to teach them.

I hold out hope that lengthy conversations where people share thoughts without getting indignant, offended or feel the need to over-talk each other makes a comeback.   Imagine my happy face.