The Truth Comes Out

Thought Number One:  The Ties to the Tin Man

For my regular readers, you are aware that I am currently living in Kansas.  It isn't as bad as many of you might imagine.  OR...depending on the quality of your imagination, maybe it is. Either way, after 21 moves, this is where I landed (for now) and I rather like it here.

Is this how people  think Kansas looks?

A picture of Kansas without a tornado in the sky.

I think a certain movie and it's implications on how people view Kansas is interesting (bizarre).  The Chamber of Commerce reports that the NUMBER ONE question they are asked by people not familiar with Kansas is "Is it anything like the Wizard of Oz?"  I find this incredulous that people are that...I am struggling for a word...but stupid comes to mind.

The  original book written by L. Frank Baum, came off the presses on May 17th, 1900.  Over the years it was mostly equated as a children's book but  there have been numerous theories that take alternate views.
One of the more prevalent theories being that the book was a satirical writing taking aim at the politics of the time. L. Frank Baum's mother-in-law, a suffragette of the era, Matilda Joslyn Gage, encouraged him to write his stories down.  In every one of Baum's stories the protagonist was female. There are a number of veiled references in the books to the author's views on feminism.


As for me, I think it is a cute story. Upon a recent visit to the OZ Museum,...yes, there is one and ...yes I went there,....I am sure there were under lying messages within the books but for me...they are just fun stories.

Which...or should I say "witch" brings me to the point of my post today....having some fun with the "Wizard of Oz:.  Frankly, it's my duty, as a Kansan, to work the Oz theme into my blog on a regular basis. So far I have done a pretty good job of it.


My latest "pull out an Oz theme"....came as a result of me following a blog challenge.  Nickey and Mike over at the blog We Work For Cheese, started a 30 Day Photography Challenge.  I don't tend to join in photography challenges as I prefer to use clip art and drawings to illustrate most of my posts.  I do, however, post various graphics in their comment section from time to time,  to tie into "whatever they are photographing that day".

A few days ago, the theme was "Steel".  After giving it some thought...very little actually, I came up with the idea of this:


Thought Number Two: My version of "When Dorothy Met the Tin Man".

As Dorothy approached the forest clearing,
The faintest squeaking, she kept hearing.
Following the barely whispered "squeeaakk", 
She left her path to take a peek.

At the base of a ponderous tree,
a rusting man she came to see, 
I kid you not!..I do not lie*
a rusting metal-man, she spied.

*OK, just to be clear..I do lie.  I lie like a rug but in this case...I am, totally, telling the truth.

Dorothy, being extremely bright,
quickly sized up the Tin Man's plight.
Within her purse, she had oils and potions.
Kansas girls carry tons of lotions.*

*Sorry, again, I have to clarify.  We carry a crap load of skin cream as Kansas girls hands are like sandpaper.  

Within moments of Dorothy's care,
 the Tin Man's words spewed into the air.
"What the HELL?" The metal man cried.
"What kind of idiot altered my hide???"

A much better choice over  tin would be brass!
The tinsmith obviously had his head up his ass.
Even monkeys get brass for their balls, so I'm told.*
Getting less than monkey balls seems rather cold.

*Cold as in the old adage, Freezing the balls off a brass monkey.


He could of used steel, if he he had half a brain.
The galvanized type would have withstood the rain.
The stainless type would have remained ever shiny.
The joker that did this, had his head up his hiney!

I know you are doubting this version, I'm telling.
But it's the truth...the Tin Man was yelling.
Yelling obscenities and words that were BAD.
Years standing rusted had left him quite mad.

The movie cleaned it up nicely, to make it PG.
It's all about ratings, I am sure you can see.
The smithy got sued for his poor choice of tin.
The Gold Man is now sporting the results of his win.*


*The current skin he is in....is 24 carat...Tin/Gold Man's Personal Injury lawyer did a great job.


If you don't believe my version of this be sure to contact the Gold Man.

I would tell you to have the witch verify it but alas, she can't take your calls.

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The Good Witch

Normally, when I talk to you about Witchy Cheryl P., we are talking about the bitchy witchy side of my personality. But...today I am going to tell you about a wondrous thing that most assuredly qualifies me for a resounding "thumbs up".

Way to go, Cheryl P.

Thought Number One:   The Tides Have Turned

For the last six months or so, Kansas has been in the clenches of a horrible drought. You might remember some of my earlier posts this year concerning the effects of the high heat and no rain.

A few weeks ago, things were looking dire.  Someone had to do something.  I did.

A couple of weeks ago, it appeared that we may never see rain again in the middle of the country.

Kansas City was sitting high and dry with the label of Exceptional Drought.
I am not sure I like the word "exceptional" applied to the lack of water being available. If that is how we are going to use the word "exceptional" perhaps, it could be said that my exceptional efforts to keep an exceptionally green lawn resulted in an exceptionally expensive water bill.

I, however, am a giver. I rallied with my neighbors and came up with a plan to save our lawns.

Don't I live in such a cute neighborhood?

I took both my cars in to have them detailed.  Yes, I decided the most effective, sure-fire way to bring rain into Kansas was to take my 2 SUVs in to have them detailed.  Not just washed...not just waxed...I mean the whole package...THE MAX, "make your car new again" detailing.


Picture me taking bows.   My two clean...more than clean, really...DETAILED cars has brought Kansas to its knees.  Now we are just a severe drought.  Uh-huh, that's right, I single-handedly caused the clouds to open up and rain.   This was so effective, I actually moved two counties out of the "exceptional" category into the "severe" category.   I think the people of both Johnson County, KS and Miami County, Kansas need to  send me flowers...or candy...or money.  I am willing to take any and all expressions of your gratitude providing they have a cash value.

Johnson County and Miami County, KS are the winners!!!

It appears that someone down in Kingman County, Kansas had the same idea but frankly it is hard to top the 6 and a half inch rainfall that I personally am responsible for. 



Thought Number Two.. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Did you not see the possibility of a down side to this story?  My dear readers...have you learned nothing in the 274 posts that I have written.  There is always another side to the story.  ALWAYS

As it turns out, the rain did make a "exceptional" appearance two days after the detailing of the cars.  Had I known that this would be the case I would of forked over the money for the detailing last June but it didn't occur to me at the time.  

It also, turns out that a wood framed house that sits through 3 months of drought in 100 degree weather might have some of the grout crack around the windows.  Frankly, this just brings out the Bad Witchy side of me in spades.  I replaced 28 windows in my house a couple of years ago and I have had the trim painted several times  since then. Also, I have had re-caulking done on a couple of occasions as well.  Call me surprised when the torrential rain moved in and water came in around my windows destroying some of the sheet rock.  As luck (bad)  would have it,  the company that I bought the windows from has gone out of business.  

WTF...That company had an A rating, ton of glorious recommendations and now they seemed to have gone MIA.  I called the manufacturer of the windows that are, by the way,  a "name branded" window maker and ask who they recommend to come out here and find out what the %^$&  is going on.  They give me a name of a company that is booked through next year.  Now that won't do.  

The "too busy to do crap" company gives me the name of another company that gives me the name of another company that doesn't return my call.  

I shouldn't be surprised that I now am a pariah because none of these companies installed these windows so therefore "It Isn't Their Problem." 

After beau-coup phone calls, I did track down a company to come out and they tell me that these very nice windows were installed incorrectly.  "No sh%&? I say. That company knows a guy that specializes in re-doing bad installs...for a price.  ***choke, choke, gag***

So...after 4 days of uninstalling windows, pulling out wet insulation, replacing compromised wood, and rebuilding frames...oh and let's not forget re-caulking and painting, we may or may not have things right. 

Who knows as we are still in a severe drought and I am waiting for another rain.  As my cars are detailed, I am waiting for someone else with my type of luck to go get their cars done.  

The Good Witchy Cheryl P. is a part-time rainmaker.

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