The Good Witch

Normally, when I talk to you about Witchy Cheryl P., we are talking about the bitchy witchy side of my personality. But...today I am going to tell you about a wondrous thing that most assuredly qualifies me for a resounding "thumbs up".

Way to go, Cheryl P.

Thought Number One:   The Tides Have Turned

For the last six months or so, Kansas has been in the clenches of a horrible drought. You might remember some of my earlier posts this year concerning the effects of the high heat and no rain.

A few weeks ago, things were looking dire.  Someone had to do something.  I did.

A couple of weeks ago, it appeared that we may never see rain again in the middle of the country.

Kansas City was sitting high and dry with the label of Exceptional Drought.
I am not sure I like the word "exceptional" applied to the lack of water being available. If that is how we are going to use the word "exceptional" perhaps, it could be said that my exceptional efforts to keep an exceptionally green lawn resulted in an exceptionally expensive water bill.

I, however, am a giver. I rallied with my neighbors and came up with a plan to save our lawns.

Don't I live in such a cute neighborhood?

I took both my cars in to have them detailed.  Yes, I decided the most effective, sure-fire way to bring rain into Kansas was to take my 2 SUVs in to have them detailed.  Not just washed...not just waxed...I mean the whole package...THE MAX, "make your car new again" detailing.


Picture me taking bows.   My two clean...more than clean, really...DETAILED cars has brought Kansas to its knees.  Now we are just a severe drought.  Uh-huh, that's right, I single-handedly caused the clouds to open up and rain.   This was so effective, I actually moved two counties out of the "exceptional" category into the "severe" category.   I think the people of both Johnson County, KS and Miami County, Kansas need to  send me flowers...or candy...or money.  I am willing to take any and all expressions of your gratitude providing they have a cash value.

Johnson County and Miami County, KS are the winners!!!

It appears that someone down in Kingman County, Kansas had the same idea but frankly it is hard to top the 6 and a half inch rainfall that I personally am responsible for. 



Thought Number Two.. No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

Did you not see the possibility of a down side to this story?  My dear readers...have you learned nothing in the 274 posts that I have written.  There is always another side to the story.  ALWAYS

As it turns out, the rain did make a "exceptional" appearance two days after the detailing of the cars.  Had I known that this would be the case I would of forked over the money for the detailing last June but it didn't occur to me at the time.  

It also, turns out that a wood framed house that sits through 3 months of drought in 100 degree weather might have some of the grout crack around the windows.  Frankly, this just brings out the Bad Witchy side of me in spades.  I replaced 28 windows in my house a couple of years ago and I have had the trim painted several times  since then. Also, I have had re-caulking done on a couple of occasions as well.  Call me surprised when the torrential rain moved in and water came in around my windows destroying some of the sheet rock.  As luck (bad)  would have it,  the company that I bought the windows from has gone out of business.  

WTF...That company had an A rating, ton of glorious recommendations and now they seemed to have gone MIA.  I called the manufacturer of the windows that are, by the way,  a "name branded" window maker and ask who they recommend to come out here and find out what the %^$&  is going on.  They give me a name of a company that is booked through next year.  Now that won't do.  

The "too busy to do crap" company gives me the name of another company that gives me the name of another company that doesn't return my call.  

I shouldn't be surprised that I now am a pariah because none of these companies installed these windows so therefore "It Isn't Their Problem." 

After beau-coup phone calls, I did track down a company to come out and they tell me that these very nice windows were installed incorrectly.  "No sh%&? I say. That company knows a guy that specializes in re-doing bad installs...for a price.  ***choke, choke, gag***

So...after 4 days of uninstalling windows, pulling out wet insulation, replacing compromised wood, and rebuilding frames...oh and let's not forget re-caulking and painting, we may or may not have things right. 

Who knows as we are still in a severe drought and I am waiting for another rain.  As my cars are detailed, I am waiting for someone else with my type of luck to go get their cars done.  

The Good Witchy Cheryl P. is a part-time rainmaker.

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Bored Times a Gazillion

I suspect this might turn into several posts as I am pretty sure most of you aren't up for a manifesto on the subject of what will go down in history as the record breaker of all boring weekends.

If there was a way to quantify boredom, my weekend would be in the next volume of the Guinness Book of World Records.

OK, so all of you are out there saying "If you are so bored, why didn't you just do something?" 

"Do you people not get the very nature of boredom...nothing sounds fun or appealing when you are mind-numbingly bored!"  Even the youngest of children know this when they whine,  "I'm BORED."
Nothing...I repeat...NOTHING..is going to sound fun.


So...let's start with REASONS for my extreme boredom.


A.  Husband is now on his 11th week out of town.  I have made enough trips to Nebraska that I see no advantage of being bored there as compared to here...well short of seeing my sweet husband..but he is there working, after all....and my cell phone and computer hardly work there...so there is that.

B.  It is so witheringly hot...... it has all but sapped the life's blood out of me.  Now...before all of you people that live in places that are routinely hot start judging me for being a whiner...let's just clarify a few points. 

•   Most of you that live in places that are routinely over 100 degrees in the summer are (more)  prepared for it.  You have zoned air conditioners.  You have grass that is equipped to survive the heat. You get a break in the winter by enjoying beautifully  mild, "never-need-a-parka-and-snow-boots-lucky-us-we-aren't-freezing-our-asses-off" kind of winters.  I, on the other hand,  live in Kansas and we are currently in the middle of a drought.  None of those things I just mentioned above apply to us. It has been over a hundred for a week or so but seems much longer...let's not split hairs here.... with humidity over 70% lets just call it infinitesimally long.  AND there is no end in sight!

• I will not get a break in the winter.  I will be shoveling 20-40 inches of snow and freezing my ass off so, I really don't appreciate Mother Nature double dipping her extreme weather patterns on the middle part of the U.S. BUT...I will not be sending another letter to Mother Nature relaying my concerns, as the previous three caused me a great deal of angst and expense.  For you, my  more recent readers, this is a precautionary warning.  Mother Nature doesn't take kindly to complaint letters.  (for a review you can click back to read  my two latest letters Were You Not Listening and Now That's Just Playing Dirty)

C.   If the heat wasn't enough to keep me home, the crowds of people and traffic that have resulted from the free Blake Shelton concert on the mall parking lot and the casting call for America's Biggest Loser being in town has my desire to fight the the crowds at  about 0%.


Now in my attempt to keep busy on a ...did I mention the 105 degree temperature?...hot day without my husband to hang around with and my kids at the lake...here are just a couple of the things I have done.

• Cleaned an already clean house
• Load some new fonts onto my computer, that you will never get to see as Blogger let's me choose from about 7 or something.
• Read..Currently reading Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson
• Watch TV ....one notable show that I will talk about in a different post
• Work on my garden in an effort to resuscitate it. It's currently in ICU and not expected to live.

Oh and there is this...As I was killing an inordinate amount of time just cruising down the Information Highway (old school for Internet, kiddies)...I came upon a new (to me) blog that is going to have a very negative influence on me...at least for wasting time.  An older post on  A Beer for the Shower was talking about cell phone music.  No...not downloading music to a cell phone but PLAYING music on a cell phone.

 Which brings me to a bit of time spent perfecting Happy Birthday on my IPhone keyboard. Seems I came across this info just in time as  most my family members having August birthdays. I need this to be spot-on.

For those of you that aren't already proficient at playing music on your cell  phone keyboards, let me point out to you "non-smart phone users"...you do understand I am saying your phone is non-smart...I am sure you are a genius...,  that your older phone is far superior for playing keyboard music on. This can be your reason for not getting with the current technology aka a smart phone.

In all fairness, maybe Android phones are superior to Apple in the capacity of playing Happy Birthday.  As I have an IPhone, I can  tell you that a couple of notes could be better. The number 9 I think should be a sharp, but I could be wrong. Anyway,  as I was saying, it is really hard to make the music sound right on an Iphone. 

I have every confidence in your musical cell phone ability, no matter what your instrument (cell phone) is. Are we ready ???? Play...

112163 
112196
11# 9632
## 9696

Did that sound like Happy Birthday??? If it didn't...you didn't do it right.

Try..Frere Jacques...you just can't fail on this one...

1231 1231
369 369
9# 9631
9# 9631
191 191

Really, if that doesn't work for you...just load the app Tiny Piano...It's free.

OR if you have an old school phone try this...I know all of you are going to want to dig out a Nokia phone.









I will stop for now, and go water my "soon to be deceased" plants.  I have some other exciting activities to share with you later.