Catching Up With Friends

I was having breakfast this week with a new neighbor.  She and I are going to be great friends.

You might not think of that sentence as being a profound statement.  YET it is.

After all the moving around I have done in my life. (36 times as a kid and 21 times as an adult), I have made a lot of friends...of varying degrees.   I have, also, left a lot of friends behind.  One of my greatest weaknesses is "moving on" at the expense of losing touch with old friends.  This is one of the many things I count as "regrets".

BUT as I was saying,  my new neighbor and I click.  I like the way she thinks.  I like her personality.  I like her value system and how she looks at the world.  This had me thinking about the topic of  friendships.

Wasn't it amazingly easy when you were little to latch onto other kids in the neighborhood and become BEST FRIENDS FOREVER.   I lived in a lot of places and had a slough of  FOREVER friends.  While I certainly was poor at the FOREVER part, I still think of them all fondly and every time I hear something through the grapevine about them, my heart feels great joy for their successes and breaks for their losses.

It's amazing I ever had friends.

The thing about my childhood or teenage friends is that even though I haven't talked to most of them in decades, I still consider them friends.  The older I got the less I reached out to most of  my  childhood "friends.  Not all, mind you.    As for the friends I made as an adult, it became very apparent that many of the friends we met along the way, fell into the category of acquaintances and there wasn't enough of a connection to maintain a life long bond.  (Again, this has exceptions.  Some will remain FOREVER in my life.)

I blame my tendency to  form fewer strong friendships on several key factors.

Maybe it's JUST me, but aging didn't bring about inherent "wisdom" as the old saying suggests.  What is brings is "self-awareness".    There are things that I know apply to me.

1.  My family time is precious and I love spending time with them,  This results in me not reaching out as much as I once did.  As my family grew....husband, children, grandchildren...my circle of special people grew.  My social needs have morphed into more family interaction.

2.  My circle of friends that are outside of my family, now get more attention and time than past casual friends would have received.   There was a time that people that I casually described as a  "friend" word to  were in actuality,  relegated to "work friends",  "church friends",  "neighbor friends"  or whatever the connection was. My good friends today are more constant in my life.    For example:  my walking partner and I have now walked every weekday morning for 17 years.  Rain or shine, at 5:35 AM we walk for an hour.  Even though she lives in a different state for the last 10 of those years, we connect our Bluetooths and walk simultaneously while catching up on what is happening in the world. 

3.   Finding people that share your view of the world becomes harder as you get older, I think.  Perhaps, it is the Crabby Pants part of me is just getting less tolerant of people that I don't share some similar opinions with. There has to be a least a little common ground.   If being with a person leads to a constant sparring of different opinions, it doesn't make for a positive, worthwhile use of the   time spent with them.  (Just so there is no misunderstanding, I don't expect people to share every opinion with me, but there has to be SOME common thoughts.)

4. Digital friends....Now this subject is a slippery slope.   I love seeing my previous FOREVER friends from my youth on social media.  I suck at using social media sites but still...I love seeing their participation and seeing what they are up to.  I have to believe that as sites like Facebook became more popular, it has encroached on people actually socializing with people face-to-face.   I don't think this is necessarily a bad thing.  Old friendships are renewed and people reconnect.  Sounds good enough, right?

 Well.....I, also, don't think it's necessarily a great thing either. I can tell you that even in my limited pool of  FOREVER friends, there seems to be a lot of angst over "who said what" and how they (the reader)  interpreted something.  I think there is a greater  likelihood for misunderstandings when something is printed versus spoken face-to-face.  Plus, the very high probability of saying too much or comments being visible to people that aren't the intended target.

While I am on the subject, though.  I do feel that as far as digital friends go...people can connect in a type of true friendship via the Internet.  I would say that I have connected with people that I am 100 percent sure that if we lived near each other,  we would be FOREVER friends.  In reality we have never met in person but have formed a bond.  YAY bloggers!!!  I treasure your friendship. 

It might be a good thing that I fail at being a Facebook friend.

Resolve Dissolved

Another year has come and the realization of how inattentive I have become to my blog has smacked me upside the head.   ***sigh***

Six months ago I vaguely remember making an effort to revive my much neglected blog, but clearly it was a false start.  Given the fact that the rest of the world is making promises to themselves in the form New Year's Resolutions, has me thinking about some of the things that I hope to accomplish in 2016. 

I typically don't make New Year's resolutions per se.  I tend to make a multitude of promises to myself on a monthly, daily, hourly basis. It's not so much that I can't stick with a particular resolution as much as I continually alter the direction of where I want to go. Life's journey is a very crooked path for me.

 In theory, it makes perfect sense to me that people want to start a fresh new year with an idea of what they would like to accomplish.  For me personally, however,my goals are more like a moving target.  They would have to be reevaluated and changed from time to time.  

Crabby Pants and her trusty steed are taking aim at this year's goals.

BUT...back to the subject at hand.   Resurrecting the blog and committing to doing a better job staying in touch with all of you.   Did I mention how much I have missed you all.   I truly have missed interacting with my blog followers and  fellow bloggers.  Still...when I have sat down to write, my words seem inconsequential and uninteresting.  I don't imagine this post will break that trend but I will muddle on.

What have I been doing with my time??  Nothing of great importance to the masses but my life in all its mundane routine is a very nice life. Even as my writing has been in the dumper, my time seems to be consistently filled.  Not necessarily with matters of great importance mind you...but filled,  none the less. Initially, my intent was to take a short break from blogging in an effort to resurrect my reading of BOOKS. (yes, real hard-bound books...you do remember those, right???), meet and interact with real human beings, and spend more time on activities that were being routinely ignored.  It seems the time that I had previously spent on the computer was quickly replaced with other activities.  Finding balance in my life continues to plague me.

One of the more notable activities that has taken up residence in my time allotment is that I started teaching computer classes at a local retirement community.  This has been a real eye-opener. Even though,  I am now considered a "senior" (not sure that I am a huge fan of that distinction) it has been a very positive experience interacting with people that have 20 or 30 years on me. 

When I was approached to do these classes, I was told that the residents needed basic information on using computers, smart phones and tablets.  Sounded easy enough.  Turns out that most of this group is extraordinarily savvy when it comes to all things tech. Those that weren't "connected" have caught on quickly as they WANT to learn new things.   I have to tell you that whatever meager amount of information that I have taught them has come back 10 fold, in the things that I have learned about the grace in aging. 

As most of my regular readers know, I remain conflicted on just about every issue.  Most subjects have a  "good news", "bad news" component.  If that isn't confusing enough, there is often a mushy middle-of -the-road component as well. 

This is certainly the case in aging. 

I look forward  to catching up with all of you in 2016.  Let's collectively hope that our lives are filled with health, happiness and humor  this year..... ESPECIALLY HUMOR.


 

Bear With Me

You might remember that about a year ago....yes, a YEAR ago (don't judge!) we decided to take a break here at The Art of Being Conflicted.  I had come to the realization that I have a  personality that takes the "Go Big or Go Home" approach to all things I enjoy doing. This often translates to nothing else getting done.  You realize, of course, this tendency to let an activity take over my life is limited only to things I enjoy.  (usually these activities don't require much exertion.) It did apply to blogging. That led me to the point of taking some time off to readjust my time and priorities. 

Remember this? 

 

BUT here we are....Crabby is ready to get off the bench and is officially done with the whole "smelling the roses" thing. 




blogs don't write themselves

As for the year off...you might be curious about all the wonderful, exciting things I managed to accomplished with all that time I saved by NOT immersing  myself in blog reading and writing.

In theory, I should of had "oodles" (technical term) of time that I could now reinvest in the pursuit of other activities.
With all that being said....I can't think of anything that stands out as being NEW and EXCITING. My life continues to be a very  good life and nothing has really changed.  Sure, I have been  spending less time in front of a computer which has allowed far more time with family and friends and that point can't be diminished in it's importance but still... I didn't take on the any amazing feats.

 I can't think of anything really that rates as "truly astounding" or affords me  material for a major best seller extolling my amazing accomplishments.  I have more material pertaining to the things I DIDN'T do.

 

I didn't end up in (or under) any of the Kansas floods.  My house DIDN'T wash away. (knock on soggy wood) although I shouldn't count that out yet.  The rain is continuing to pour in the Midwest.

 

 

 

I, also didn't BLOW away.  I realize that many of you think...

 

                                       Kansas = Tornadoes

 

Not necessarily. 

 

In the past year, I  haven't climbed Mount Everest or any other mountain for that matter.

AND, while this one might shock you...I didn't receive any major writing awards.

So as you can surmise, my friends, life is going along fine, if not a bit uneventful. 

I will wean myself back onto blog (both writing and reading) and try to use a bit of discretion in the amount of time I spend doing it.