Around the Water Cooler 10/28/2011

This week I missed most of the news as I was traveling or sick or sick of traveling...anyway missed a lot of the big news.  Here in KC most of our news currently is the ongoing search for little Lisa Irwin, the missing 11 month old.  Tragic and very confusing story that continues to shift day by day.

As for some the the lesser reported news this week, as usual there are some odd albeit interesting happenings that made some of the back pages of news publications.


Here Comes the Judge


A former Creek County judge convicted of exposing himself and using a male enhancement device while seated at the bench is not eligible to receive judicial retirement benefits, the Oklahoma Supreme Court ruled on Tuesday.

Donald D. Thompson, a 23 year employee of the Oklahoma legal system was found to have violated his oath of office by using a penis pump while presiding over trials.  The high court upheld the Oklahoma Public Employees Retirement System Board of Trustees decision to quit paying Thompson the $7,789 a month pension that he would have otherwise been eligible for. The pension stopped when Thompson was sent to prison for 20 months after being found guilty in 2006.

During his trial, Thompson unsuccessfully argued that the criminal actions did not disrupt the proceedings in his courtroom, Tulsa World reported.

Wouldn't you just hate to lose $7,789 a month for some ill advised multi-tasking.   There is a judge that used some really poor judgement.


Can You SEE Me Now

This camouflage might work well in nature, but it really stands out in the police station. Oregon investigators believe Gregory Liascos, 36, was wearing this "ghillie" camouflage when he attempted to break into the Rice Northwest Museum of Rocks and Minerals last week. After setting off alarms, the suspect allegedly fled into a wooded area nearby. Officers only found Liascos when a police dog bit what appeared to be a patch of grass -- which yelped in pain. On Oct. 12, 2011, authorities said Liascos failed to show up for his trial. A warrant has been issued for his arrest.

Be on the look out for a wayward bush that has a warrant out for his arrest.  

She Didn't Draw the "Get Out of Jail" Card

A New Mexico woman repeatedly stabbed her boyfriend after accusing him of cheating during a Monopoly game early yesterday, according to police.

Laura Chavez, 60, and her boyfriend were playing the popular board game at her Santa Fe apartment when the dispute occurred. Chavez, pictured in the mug shot at right, allegedly admitted stabbing her beau, Clyde "Butch" Smith, with a kitchen knife.

Police reported that both Chavez and the 48-year-old Smith appeared to be intoxicated. The man, who cops found bleeding heavily from wounds on his head and right wrist, was hospitalized yesterday in stable condition. Smith told investigators that Chavez first hit him over the head with a glass bottle and then “grabbed a knife and began cutting him, causing injuries to the top of his head, neck, left eye brow and right wrist area."

When cops arrived at Chavez’s building, she was sitting under the porch “covered with suspected blood.” Asked if the blood was Smith’s, she answered, “Yes, I fu**** him up.”

Chavez went to jail, went directly to jail on a variety of charges, including aggravated battery on a household member with a deadly weapon and battery on a law enforcement officer. She is being held in the Santa Fe county lockup in lieu of $5000 bond (or until she rolls doubles).

Not that this story isn't entertaining enough, but it would have been a bit funnier if she would have used a "butcher" knife on Butch instead of a kitchen knife.  Guess she just wasn't thinking clearly.


There's an app for that.
New App Helps Track Your Straying Spouses...Last week Apple released an app that lets you track the whereabouts of your friends, family members and if need be cheating spouses.  Recently a suspicious husband used the app by a suspicious husband to check up on his wife. Someone by the name of ThomasMetz posted to an online forum MacRumors with the following post.

Divorcing wife. Thanks iPhone 4s and Find My Friends

---

I got my wife a new 4s and loaded up find my friends without her knowing. She told me she was at her friends house in the east village. I've had suspicions about her meeting this guy who live uptown. Lo and behold, Find my Friends has her right there.

I just texted her asking where she was and the dumb b!otch said she was on 10th Street!! Thank you Apple, thank you App Store, thank you all. These beautiful treasure trove of screen shots going to play well when I meet her a$$ at the lawyer's office in a few weeks.
thankfully, she's the rich one.

I guess there is no way of knowing if the comment referenced a factual event but  it does bring up a point, if you are prone to cheating you better make sure your smart phone is where you are supposed to be...even if you aren't.

Passing Notes Can Get You In Trouble

Especially if you are a TSA agent that is leaving the following note in a suitcase.  A US airport security agent who found a vibrator in the baggage of a transatlantic traveler, and then advised her in writing what to do with it, is facing disciplinary action.

The US Transportation Security Administration (TSA) said Wednesday that a handwritten note that lawyer and blogger Jill Filipovic found in her checked luggage was "highly inappropriate and unprofessional."

Filipovic tweeted a picture of the note, which read: "Get your freak on girl." Under the image, she added: "Just unpacked my suitcase and found this note from TSA. Guess they discovered a 'personal item' in my bag. Wow."

"TSA quickly launched an investigation and identified the employee responsible," the federal agency said on its blog.

"That individual was immediately removed from screening operations and appropriate disciplinary action has been initiated."

Note to TSA agents...You can think it but don't write it down.

Just in Time For Halloween

BELLINGHAM, Wash. (AP) — Police in Bellingham, Wash., say a man who walked into a medical clinic with his right arm severed has indicated he cut his own limb off with a homemade guillotine.

Officers who checked a wooded area near the urology clinic Thursday found the severed arm and the guillotine. The victim and the arm were taken first to St. Joseph Hospital in Bellingham.

Police spokesman Mark Young says the man was later airlifted to Harborview Medical Center in Seattle in hopes the limb could be reattached. Young tells The Bellingham Herald the arm was severed above the elbow.

The victim was not identified and his condition was not immediately known.

Young says police will dismantle the guillotine.

If he was trying to check to see if his guillotine worked...he got his answer, YES.

The Good for the Day...If you are a St. Louis Cardinal fan...you are still in the game.

The Bad for the Day...A truck load of spilled pumpkins spilled onto the Freeway and slowed down the rush hour traffic near Farmington Hills.  Snowplows were brought in to clear the highway.

The Weird for the Day....Medical news!!! Not intended for underage viewers....

Mrs. Pumpkin delivered healthy baby

Our Lives by the Numbers

Thought I would jot down a quick post so you all know I am still among the living.  The dearth of my posts most likely will continue into the middle of next week. 

In the last week or so,  I was traveling for 4 days, being down with a nasty cold 4 days and generally being aggravated about some things which I will be bitching about in a post next week.

This week our grown son is visiting and I don't want to be sitting for extended periods of time in front of the computer.  It's not that I don't love you all, blogees but I rarely get to see my youngest and want to devote my time to him.  

Which brings me to today's post.  This is going to be an example of plagiarism at its finest.  I happened upon a website that has a lot of interesting graphs.  As you might remember in some of my past posts, my own graphs that I created to quantify the important **cough cough** aspects of our lives have appeared from time to time.  I am a very visual person and love to see the black and white of all things.  Of course, this makes no sense as I am known to disagree, analyze, dispute, ridicule and overall, find fault with every poll, survey and opinion that was ever put forth.  Still, there is nothing better than a colorful graph to try to entice me to think a certain way.

So thanks to a friend that recognizes my adoration for "life by the numbers" and   GraphJam for making those numbers so creatively visual,  here are a few "expert"  generate graphs of life as we know it.

So...my friends, until I get back on schedule have a great day!!!

Around the Water Cooler 10/21/2011

Busy week for the news broadcasters.  Dr. Murray's trial for involuntary manslaughter continues, exotic wild animals are released from sanctuary in Zanesville, OH and last and LEAST is the re-arrest of Lindsay Lohan for parole violations. I use the term "arrest" in the loosest of connotations, as she made bail before ever being taken to jail. 

With the big news out of the way, let's see what the lesser reported stories for the week are.


OK Children, What Rhymes with Corn? 

Computer hackers took control of the Sesame Street You Tube page yesterday and replaced 20 minutes of child friendly footage with pornographic content before the site was taken down.

A contact told the Huffington Post joked that "between  the Bert and Ernie coming out petition and this is yet another sex controversy for the program....seems everyone wants "the Street" to teach sex ed.

As of Monday, the site was still down with an apology from the non-profit organization behind Sesame Street saying, " "Our channel was compromised and we are presently working with YouTube/Google to restore our original content. We always strive to provide age-appropriate content for our viewers and hope to resolve this problem quickly."

If the same parents that had the video of Katy Perry yanked because they felt that it was to "sexualized" for their little ones,  20 minutes of porn must have had them imploding.





Honey, I Left the Kids During a Heist

LOUISVILLE, Ky. (Associated Press) -- Authorities say a couple shoplifted a cellphone and makeup from a Walmart, but forgot two children as they fled the store.

Police in Louisville, Ky., say 20-year-old Michael S. Kaufman took a cellphone and tried to take a tablet computer, destroying the attached display in the process. Police say 19-year-old Kelsey Grobmeier hid makeup under a baby car seat. When confronted, the couple fled, leaving a 3-year-old and 18-month-old behind in the store around 7 p.m. EDT Wednesday.

Police say Grobmeier returned to the store about an hour later to retrieve the children.

Kaufman and Grobmeier are each charged with theft, criminal trespassing, endangering the welfare of a minor and tampering with physical evidence.

I can only imagine the conversation when these two, got home and realized they forgot their children at the Walmart.  




Not a Good Plan

Miami, FL-  A South Florida woman got a really big surprise when she opened her cell phone bill and found that she owed $201,000. 

It wasn't a mistake.  Celine Aaron's owed the $201,000 to T-Mobile for overages not covered by her plan.

Celina has two brothers on her plan that are deaf and mute.  They communicate by texting and watching videos on their phones.  Normally, that isn't a problem. Her current data plan covers them and typically her bill is around $175.00.

The problem arose, when her brothers went to Canada and Celina failed to switch her plan to the International Plan. Her brothers sent over 2000 texts and downloaded videos that weren't covered by her plan.  When Celina called T-Mobil they told her the bill was correct. 

Celina, contacted a Miami TV station, who in turn contacted T-Mobile and the bill was reduced to $2,500. The cell provider has given her 6 months to pay. 

This might be one of the few examples that being deaf would be an advantage.  Celina probably had some really bad words coming out of her mouth...I suspect that she was also using some serious sign language in their direction.


Keep the Car, I Don't Want It Back
New Jersey police may have cracked the case of a thief that breaks into cars to burglarize them and leave a little "surprise" in the back seat.

Hadith Caesar was nabbed Saturday after a witness called the authorities to report that they saw a suspicious person inside a car on their neighbor's driveway.  This is the third incident of cars being broken into with feces being left behind on the backseat.

As, New Jersey statutes do not specifically cover deficating in cars, Caesar is being held on theft and harassment with a bond of $15,000.

I think they need to add another $10,000 to the bond for being "disgusting".  I guess New Jersey is going to have to write a new law to prohibit using the backseat of cars as toilets.


Don't Come Knocking When the Buick is Rocking

The 71-year-old Michigan woman arrested last month after police found her naked and having sex with a younger male companion in the back seat of her Buick was fined $585 and sentenced to a probationary term after she pleaded no contest today to a misdemeanor charge.

Rita looks very happy while Tim...not so much.

Rita Daniels entered her plea to a disorderly intoxication count this morning in District Court in Farmington Hills. Prosecutors dismissed an indecent exposure charge that had been filed against the septuagenarian following her September 3 arrest with Tim Adams.
Adams, 54, today also entered a no contest plea to disorderly intoxication (and had an indecent exposure charge dropped by prosecutors). He was placed on a year’s probation (like Daniels), fined $785, and ordered to perform 50 hours of community service.  
As detailed in a City of Farmington Police report, Daniels and Adams (who was also nude) were discovered trysting inside the vehicle (license plate: DIVA 145), which was parked in front of a pair of restaurants. The car was rocking gently and its windows had steamed over, noted Officer Andrew Morche.
After opening the Buick’s passenger door to break up the Saturday evening clinch, Morche asked the naked pair what they were doing. Adams provided a succinct reply: “I’m fu***** this chick."
Cops subsequently learned that Daniels and Adams, pictured in the above mug shots, had met for drinks at a nearby bar “before moving to the back seat of the Buick.”

There is just so many question to ask about this one.  Exactly how drunk was Tim to get naked in the backseat of the Buick with a 71 year old that has Diva 145 on her license plate?   Why did Rita only get fined $585 and Tim got fined $785 and given community service?  Did he get a harsher sentence for telling the cop that he was Fu***** this chick.


The Good for the Day...That so many weird stories are out there to give us something to talk about.


The Bad for the Day...Lindsay Lohan was late today for her first day of mandated community service.  She was 40 minutes late to report to the LA Morgue where the judge from yesterday hearing told her to report.


The Weird for the Day....Chicago woman was charged with domestic battery (or is that batter-y) for throwing cupcakes at her husband during a dispute.  He said he was fearful for his safety.  She was charged and levied with a $10,000 bond.