Friday, July 20, 2012

That's One Way to Go

Every week I look for interesting (?) unusual news releases for my Friday post. I struggle with which 3 or 4 make the cut depending on factors such as "is it too stupid to be credible?", is it too disgusting to put  in my post?" or " is it so dumb that it doesn't keep my interest  long enough to get through the article?"  Given my rather short attention span and the number of truly disgusting stories out there it all but a miracle that I have a post on Friday.

Still....this week I was able to find four "back-page" news stories to share.

WARNING: the first news story comes with a PG13 rating today. Feel free to adjust that age up or down depending on your level of comfort with a certain four letter word. 

The Billboard says WHAT??????

Seriously? This is a marketing plan????
Just when you thought that you have seen everything, something new presents itself. 
A giant risque billboard has gone up on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles that is sure to slow traffic along the Sunset Strip. describes itself as "the premier online dating service that pairs women in their prime with younger men and ends the double standard!"

Elissa Buchter, spokeswoman for Cougar Life and a cougar herself, told the media that the billboard is the first of more the company hopes to put up in Hollywood and West Hollywood. The company is targeting the area, Buchter said, because it is the national "cougar capital" -- with more Cougar Life members in the 90069 zip code than anywhere else in the U.S.

 Regarding the term "mother f*ckers," she commented, "The majority of cougars are single moms. And we thought it'd be a good way to get their attention and make a splash."

I don't know about the "making a splash" part, but definitely this is getting attention.  I think that maybe a few might disagree with the "good way" part of her statement.

Dancing in the Street...on a Pole

Prostitutes in New Zealand are being accused of destroying street signs by performing pole dancing routines on poles that can't support their weight.

The officials in  South Auckland, New Zealand are having an issue with their city's signs. The problem is that local prostitutes are being accused of destroying street signs by using them for pole dancing routines designed to attract customers.

In the last 18 months, more than 40 poles have been bent, buckled or broken in the past 18 months and the signs, which include notices of parking restrictions, cost taxpayers thousands of dollars to replace.
Elected officials such as Donna Lee say the culprits are local prostitutes who use them like stripper poles in a dance club. "The poles are part of their soliciting equipment and they often snap them," she told The Telegraph. "Some of the prostitutes are big, strong people."
I think they need to replace those street signs with a more quality product.  Do street signs come in "titanium"? There's probably a advertising opportunity there somewhere.  South Auckland has "big strong prostitutes"....surely, there is a way to make that work for them.

Quality Check Gone Bad 
Saturday was a bad day for Tavares Donnell Colbert. The Oklahoma man accidentally shot himself in the genitals, and then got arrested for it, The Weekly Vice reported.

Cops met up with Colbert -- a convicted drug dealer out of Watonga -- at a hospital at about 9 a.m. Colbert allegedly told officers that he found the gun somewhere in Kansas and had plans to sell it at a convenience store.

Prior to meeting up with the gun's purchaser at the 7 Eleven, he pulled his truck over to the side of the road, to make sure the gun worked. (how considerate that he didn't want to sell a defective gun.) 

The gun worked fine. Unfortunately for him he had the gun aimed at his private parts.  After shooting himself, he  panicked and drove to the hospital.

Colbert isn't allowed to carry a firearm because he's a convicted felon with a long rap sheet, so cops arrested him after he was treated, according to reports.

What makes this story even better is this guy has a bias....he hates dumb people.  On if Facebook page he posted  "Boy sum people aint shit!!!!!!!! They momma and daddy shouldnt of even named them shoulda just let them drop and bust they head when they were born."

Clearly this is a genius with exceptional skills in spelling and grammar.  He might want to work on his aim a bit.

The Purr-fect Mayor

His Honor the Mayor.  Looks better than other politicians
I've seen...although he is naked and lying down on the

Mayor Stubbs has been at the helm of the small town of Talkeetna, Alaska for 15 years - an impressive feat for any elected official, but even more so considering Stubbs is a cat.

The part-manx is popular among residents, who voted him into office in a write-in election a decade and a half ago when he was a kitten, after rejecting the human candidates on the ballot.

"Lo and behold, Stubbs the cat won the write-in that year," a local resident to the local NBC affiliate,  "And he's been our mayor ever since."

Chamber of Commerce president Andi Manning explained to CNN. "Town residents are perfectly happy with their choice, and had nothing but praise for his record in office. "He's good. Probably the best we've had," Laurie Stec told WBBH.

It would appear that there are no term limits in Talkeetna.  The fact that Mayor Stubbs is "the best mayor they ever have had" doesn't bode well for past mayors.  They must of really been bad.


Linda R. said...

Mayor Stubbs definitely gets my vote. Does he want to run for president? ;)

Kimberly said...

Just want to point out that Rabbit Hash, Kentucky has had multiple four-legged mayors. Kentucky isn't known for much, but we do have that.

And something about that prostitute story made me really giggle.

Chubby Chatterbox said...

Let's hear it for Mayor Stubbs! Meeeeow!

Nicky said...

Well, I suppose the Cougar ad will get people's attention. If not, they could always have their members do pole dance routines on street signs... oh, wait...

I agree 100% with Colbert about dumb people. And it's great that he'll be able to understand why his parents want to tear up his birth certificate, drop him and "bust his head".

Please don't let Mike see this report!!! The next thing you know, he'll be campaigning for Dobson as mayor of Montreal!!!!!

Cheryl P. said...

I think he might get my vote as well. He probably is too smart to want to get into that mess.

Cheryl P. said...

I love your posts about Rabbit I am not surprised that they have four-legged mayors. I think that might be the answer to all the in-fighting in politics. More dogs and cats.
I giggled at the prostitute story as well. The spokeman saying their prostitutes are big and that is a selling point.

Cheryl P. said...

I would have voted for him.

Linda R. said...

Those who would make the best presidents usually are!

Cheryl P. said...

Being cougars and all they might not be able to do a pole dance. I am not sure exactly how old one has to be to be a cougar.
Colbert is just a hot mess. He is minus a brain and a know. I am sure his parents are telling people they never had children.
The sad part is there is a good chance that Dobson could win. He is pretty cute and not likely to say anything to offend anyone.

Mike said...

Too late! Dobson is now registered as a municipal candidate. The party will win and replace the current "Vision Montreal" party with the more popular "Cat Vision Montreal" party.

meleahrebeccah said...

I am HYSTERICAL laughing, I literally have tears running down my face.
" - for Mother Fuckers" = HILARIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!

I also think it's total comedy that hookers are using street signs for pole dancing and breaking them!

And I am SO going to hell, because the story about the dude who shot off his peepers and got arrested for it, is also HILARIOUS!

Girl. you find THE BEST news stories!

Bupu2 said...

It's only fair that Cougars get equal billing with the Sugar Daddies. Hookers using street signs--ingenious! Is the cat a Republican? He could run for President. The poor guy with the gun--obviously shot himself in the brains. Great post.

Cheryl P. said...

See...this is why you are one of my "bestest" commentors EVER. You totally get the humor of this kind of shit. I thought that was HILARIOUS as well.
And I love the idea of hookers working the signs like stripper poles.
If you are going to hell so am I but I suspect that we will go to heaven. There are just so many crazy mean people that deserve having us laugh at them. We probably get bonus points for finding humor in the weirdos of the world.

Cheryl P. said...

I sugar daddies have a website? If so they probably need to come up with a snappy slogan. I can think of several but they might be a tad controversial.
Again, I agree. The city needs buy stronger poles for their street signs.
The cat definitely has more charisma than most politicians.
If that was his brains, people can officially say he is short on brains.
I am so glad you found some humor in these stories.

Cheryl P. said...

Too bad I can't vote in Canada.

meleahrebeccah said...

Yes!! I love this:

"We probably get bonus points for finding humor in the weirdos of the world."


babs (beetle) said...

Where DO you find these stories? I am trying to imagine coming across that Cougar sign in the UK. Never say never though.

Pole dancing prostitutes? Hilarious!

Cheryl P. said...

I find them usually in news outlets such as Reuters and UPI but everyonce in awhile I just happen to see something on AOL home page or Huffington Post.
I have to think that some areas wouldn't want that particular billboard in their town. I found it pretty funny but then I have a pretty wide tolerance for "funny".
I think that it might be fun to watch the working girls working it.