Let's Talk About Words That Start With C

Today let's talk about some C words. I am sure you all are thinking C is for Cookie but today we are talking about some other C words.   Typically, on Friday each week, we talk about the news stories that are found under the heading of weird or odd.  But you and I know that each week this brings forth some crazy. Once in awhile, I see some cute, some creative, some classy or classless,  but for the most part articles classified as "weird news" contains some "crazy".  This week is no different.

Let's start with the Word...CAR.

Well....to be more specific, we are talking about a crazy man carrying a gun in a car.

 Most of us have seen an erratic driver but have you ever pulled up along side of one, only to see a gun pointed at you.

David Kolloar was driving on Interstate 75 in  Madison County, Kentucky  on Monday and noticed a car driving in and out of the emergency lane. The car at one point  was appearing  to swerve into another car on it's left.   David pulled out his phone and started taping the situation.  He thought that he would have documentation available so he could call the police.

What he didn't expect was as he moved forward the erratic driver got next to him and lowered the window.
David hit his brakes to miss getting shot at. When he safely got off the road he called the authorities.

He said he wasn't trying to be a vigilante but he was worried about the safety of himself and others on the road.  His actions did lead the police to track down the gun toting driver.  Investigators found Dr. Perrin Dobyns in Indiana where he was arrested. 

Police credit Kollar for the quick arrest because of the video and his awareness to get the man's license plate. The rest, they said, fell into place after they were able to confirm the man's identity and vehicle with Indiana State Police.

 "We're not sure where he was coming from, and he had about another hour-and-a-half to two hour drive back home. So, there's no telling what actually could've happened after he left Madison County," said Trooper Robert Purdy of the Kentucky State Highway Patrol.

 Police tell us that Dobyns works at the Branchville Correctional Facility, in Branchville, Indiana. WKYT contacted a local Sheriff's office who told us that Dobyns is actually the prison's doctor.

(Update: On Tuesday the doctor was returned to Kentucky and charged. He was to appear in court on Wednesday.)

How ironic is that...the gun toting doctor worked for a prison.  BUT according to the reports, they fired him. Clearly going from being a prison doctor to being a prisoner, isn't the ideal career path.


Cleaning Up the Evidence

An Oklahoma man was arrested on burglary charges after police matched his DNA to used toilet paper found at the scene of the crime, police said.

Charles Marqull Williams was charged Wednesday with burglary in Oklahoma County District Court for

allegedly stealing from an area home, The (Oklahoma City) Oklahoman reported.

Police said the suspect broke into the home, took several items, and used the bathroom before taking off.

Unflushed feces and a used piece of toilet paper on the floor were found at the scene. (on the floor, really??...Oink, Oink)

Police matched DNA found in the messy bathroom to Williams


How embarrassing for Charles, to have to admit "not flushing" got him thrown in the can.  TSK TSK...but aren't we curious if when the cops told him how they found him did he say "OH CRAP!.

And Last but Not the Least (crazy that is) is the Word Cheating


A married man reported that he had been robbed during a sexual encounter with a prostitute.  She, allegedly, picked his pocket of $9000.00 during a sexual act.  Evidently his attention was diverted at the time.

According to the Brisbane Court documentation, Navnish Bansai was approached while he was eating

supper at an Indian restaurant by a woman who asked him "if he was up for some fun".

They chatted a bit, negotiated a price and then proceeded to get into Boansai's car and drove to New Farm Park.

According to the victim, he claims that while the hooker was providing him with a service, she stole the 9K from his jacket pocket. She then got out of the car and ran across the soccer fields.

Bansai, who represented himself in court said the reason he had so much cash is that he had taken the money out of his wife's checking account to buy himself a new car.  The prosecuting attorney in the case said it was a "doozie" of a story.

The woman was located and Bansai got most of his money back but then.... he was arrested and charged with public solicitation of a prostitute.

Isn't there an old saying that a person who represents himself in court has a fool for a client?  What a great example.  What a fool!! I wonder if he will represent himself in the divorce hearing as well?  (that's just a guess on my part.)

What Lesson Did You Learn?

I call foul!!! These government scandals  are  hogging the news programs.  All week there has been a drought of funny "can you believe they did that?" kind of news.  Seriously,  didn't we all  know that despite their campaign telling us they were the new and friendlier IRS that they aren't really all that friendly. AND as far as the government monitoring all the Verizon phone records...you already knew that our privacy isn't private.  

Crabby Pants was trying to create a scandal...well perhaps more that she wanted to participate in a scandal but she fell short.

That's One Way to Go

Every week I look for interesting (?) unusual news releases for my Friday post. I struggle with which 3 or 4 make the cut depending on factors such as "is it too stupid to be credible?", is it too disgusting to put  in my post?" or " is it so dumb that it doesn't keep my interest  long enough to get through the article?"  Given my rather short attention span and the number of truly disgusting stories out there it all but a miracle that I have a post on Friday.

Still....this week I was able to find four "back-page" news stories to share.

WARNING: the first news story comes with a PG13 rating today. Feel free to adjust that age up or down depending on your level of comfort with a certain four letter word. 

The Billboard says WHAT??????



Seriously? This is a marketing plan????

Just when you thought that you have seen everything, something new presents itself. 
A giant risque billboard has gone up on Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles that is sure to slow traffic along the Sunset Strip.

CougarLife.com describes itself as "the premier online dating service that pairs women in their prime with younger men and ends the double standard!"

Elissa Buchter, spokeswoman for Cougar Life and a cougar herself, told the media that the billboard is the first of more the company hopes to put up in Hollywood and West Hollywood. The company is targeting the area, Buchter said, because it is the national "cougar capital" -- with more Cougar Life members in the 90069 zip code than anywhere else in the U.S.

 Regarding the term "mother f*ckers," she commented, "The majority of cougars are single moms. And we thought it'd be a good way to get their attention and make a splash."

I don't know about the "making a splash" part, but definitely this is getting attention.  I think that maybe a few might disagree with the "good way" part of her statement.


Dancing in the Street...on a Pole

Prostitutes in New Zealand are being accused of destroying street signs by performing pole dancing routines on poles that can't support their weight.

The officials in  South Auckland, New Zealand are having an issue with their city's signs. The problem is that local prostitutes are being accused of destroying street signs by using them for pole dancing routines designed to attract customers.

In the last 18 months, more than 40 poles have been bent, buckled or broken in the past 18 months and the signs, which include notices of parking restrictions, cost taxpayers thousands of dollars to replace.

Elected officials such as Donna Lee say the culprits are local prostitutes who use them like stripper poles in a dance club. "The poles are part of their soliciting equipment and they often snap them," she told The Telegraph. "Some of the prostitutes are big, strong people."

I think they need to replace those street signs with a more quality product.  Do street signs come in "titanium"? There's probably a advertising opportunity there somewhere.  South Auckland has "big strong prostitutes"....surely, there is a way to make that work for them.

Quality Check Gone Bad 

Saturday was a bad day for Tavares Donnell Colbert. The Oklahoma man accidentally shot himself in the genitals, and then got arrested for it, The Weekly Vice reported.

Cops met up with Colbert -- a convicted drug dealer out of Watonga -- at a hospital at about 9 a.m. Colbert allegedly told officers that he found the gun somewhere in Kansas and had plans to sell it at a convenience store.

Prior to meeting up with the gun's purchaser at the 7 Eleven, he pulled his truck over to the side of the road, to make sure the gun worked. (how considerate that he didn't want to sell a defective gun.) 

The gun worked fine. Unfortunately for him he had the gun aimed at his private parts.  After shooting himself, he  panicked and drove to the hospital.

Colbert isn't allowed to carry a firearm because he's a convicted felon with a long rap sheet, so cops arrested him after he was treated, according to reports.

What makes this story even better is this guy has a bias....he hates dumb people.  On if Facebook page he posted  "Boy sum people aint shit!!!!!!!! They momma and daddy shouldnt of even named them shoulda just let them drop and bust they head when they were born."

Clearly this is a genius with exceptional skills in spelling and grammar.  He might want to work on his aim a bit.

The Purr-fect Mayor



His Honor the Mayor.  Looks better than other politicians
I've seen...although he is naked and lying down on the
job.



Mayor Stubbs has been at the helm of the small town of Talkeetna, Alaska for 15 years - an impressive feat for any elected official, but even more so considering Stubbs is a cat.

The part-manx is popular among residents, who voted him into office in a write-in election a decade and a half ago when he was a kitten, after rejecting the human candidates on the ballot.

"Lo and behold, Stubbs the cat won the write-in that year," a local resident to the local NBC affiliate,  "And he's been our mayor ever since."

Chamber of Commerce president Andi Manning explained to CNN. "Town residents are perfectly happy with their choice, and had nothing but praise for his record in office. "He's good. Probably the best we've had," Laurie Stec told WBBH.

It would appear that there are no term limits in Talkeetna.  The fact that Mayor Stubbs is "the best mayor they ever have had" doesn't bode well for past mayors.  They must of really been bad.

Wieners, Weapons and Weirdos

For those of you that aren't familiar with my Friday posts, I try to keep an eye out for news that is under-reported due to the over-reporting of the "big story" of the moment.    This week there have been several stories that have taken over the lion's share of the news programming,  so you might not have realized anything else that was happening in the world.  John Edward's trial is under way and it would seem that John has some explaining to do. Also, how could anyone not be aware of the ongoing investigation of the Secret Service employees caught with their pants down (in a manner of speaking) in Columbia.  I am thinking some valuable lessons have been learned from that incident.   One of those lessons being... pay your hooker if you want her not to report you to the people that employ you.

I have rounded up a few other news items, just on the outside chance you might have missed these odd,... hhhmmmm weird...let's go with stupid stories.

Dirty Dogs

No, I am not still talking about the John Edward's trial or the SS guys.  I am talking about the hot dog vendor in New Mexico that rammed his cart into a rival hot dog vendor in front of the Metro Court.

According to the report, the hot dog biz is very competitive in Albuquerque and the animosity boiled over on Monday.  Police report that Eric Kilmer ran over the legs and feet of fellow dog dealer, Vincent Montoya.  Kilmer is being charged with aggravated battery with a deadly weapon...the weapon being his hot dog cart.  This, by the way,  is a felony.



Maybe this isn't the exact likeness of the "deadly
weapon" but I think it shows a little
more grit than a regular hot dog cart.

 While Eric was MIA from work on Wednesday, the local news did interview an employee to try to ascertain what the cause of the skirmish was and the employee said:


"See, I respect him, dude, I respect him a lot and I don't care what anyone says, dude, that's how I feel, dude," the employee said, adding that what happened was really an accident that got blown out of proportion. "Like you know I'm a family man, dude, you know, I got a little girl and I'm trying to make my money, dude, and it's just an accident that came out of proportion, dude. That's all I'm gonna say."  (Really, dude? Can we use the word dude a couple more times for good measure?)

Other vendors said they are mortified about the attack, and worried about the impact on their businesses. "It just makes it scary for a vendor like myself," said Julieta Chavez, owner of a gourmet coffee cart called La Vida Mocha. "I'm out here by myself and I don't want something like that to happen to me as well. You don't want violence."

Kilmer's charge is a third degree felony. If he's convicted, he could be facing up to three years in prison.

Vendor violence, wiener wars...poor Julieta is at risk...put down your weapons, Albuquerque..or at least set the parking brakes.


Panda Poo Tea

You probably think I am making up this next story but....I AM NOT!!!

Reuters reported this week that this week An Yashi, a  lecturer at Sinchuan University, is collecting excrement from pandas to make the worlds most expensive tea. Yashi is using the panda feces as a fertilizer to grow an organic green tea.   (This story, leads me to think that Reuters is running out of real news.)

Wouldn't you buy some $200.00 a cup Panda Poo
tea from this guy?

 Yashi says that panda poo is rich in fiber and nutrients and has a unique aroma...yep, that is the word he used... which imparts a special something to his tea blend.

An (An's name seems funny when used in a sentence) donned a panda suit to promote his tea and he believes that it will rake in around $36,000 per pound. 


The problem with Panda Poo tea, isn't so much the fact this guy is using panda manure for growing his tea, as I suspect, we wouldn't be quite as grossed-out had he used compost (cow or horse manure).  The problem is that he estimates a cup of this elixir is going to cost over $200.  Really, that is some expensive SH**.  He does say that you will feel warm and fuzzy after drinking it, though.  Good to know you won't be pissing your money away...a wait..yes, you will.




Oh, shoot...I probably shouldn't have left the room.

I think perhaps...just maybe...that is what the instructor thought when he heard a gun shot.

A firearms safety course went awry in Bedford County, Virginia on Saturday afternoon when a participant shot himself in the hand with a .45-caliber handgun and the bullet passed through his hand and struck his wife, seated next to him, in the leg.



Everyone who is in favor of
gun safety, raise your hand.  

 Shot were Michael L. Deel and his wife Michelle.   The Deels were attending a firearms safety class being taught and hosted by Thomas Starke, according to the police report.

The sheriff's office said Starke told deputies that he had left the room, heard a shot and returned to find the Deels had been shot.

The couple was taken by ambulance to Carilion Roanoke Memorial Hospital with injuries that were not considered life-threatening.


Let's Make a Deal

A burglar in Bremerton, Washington broke into a home Tuesday morning around 3 AM.  After loading up some of the homeowners belongings, he inadvertently woke up the owner who grabbed a gun and yelled "Get out!, I have a gun!" to which the burglar replied "Yes, sir!"

Unfortunately, our hapless burglar dropped a bag on his way out that contained some papers identifying who he was.  So what does a burglar do????  He calls the homeowners later in the day and offered a swap.

Yes, a swap of some of the stolen stuff for the bag he dropped.  Part of the deal, however was for the homeowners not to report him to the police.

Needless to say, when he returned to the home to execute the deal, officers were there waiting and arrested him for investigation of residential burglary.

"It's very unusual,"   Sgt. Kevin Crane  of the Bremerton Police said. "I've never seen this happen before where a burglar contacts the victim trying to make a deal to exchange things he left behind for some of the items he stole from the victims."

Crane said the burglar remained polite through the ordeal, even apologizing to the homeowners as he was being arrested.

I guess it doesn't always pay to be polite.  There, also, doesn't seem to be a big payoff for being an idiot...even a gracious idiot.


So there, you have my picks for the odd news bytes of the week.  If you see any funny or odd news that might be overlooked, be sure to email me at artofconflicted@aol.com.