Friday, November 1, 2013

No Going Back

Note to my readers this morning:   After I published my post vanished.  Poof...just vanished.  I am trying to remember what I wrote on the fly so sorry to say...what you get is what I can remember writing about.  Blogger is being very unfriendly today.  I find this especially ironic as I am talking about do-overs.  Someone at Blogger has a evil sense of humor.

Have you ever done something, only to regret having done it and wish for a do over?  Perhaps, several do-overs such as Bill Murray had in the movie Groundhog's Day.   This weeks "odd news makers might of wished for a second chance.

From Bad to Worse

A man in China, was supposedly so depressed by his lacking love life that in a moment of desperation, he cut off his penis, the Mirror reported. (Now that isn't going to do much for his love life, is it?)
 Shortly after his amateur amputation, 26-year-old Yang Hu had second thoughts and quickly got to a hospital in hopes of getting his sex organ reattached.

Actually "quickly" is the wrong word since he went to the hospital by riding his bicycle. To make matters worse -- as if that's possible -- he actually forgot to bring his chopped-off penis with him, requiring him to ride his bike back to the home, the Daily Star reported.

When he returned with his dismembered organ, the doctors gave him some bad news: Because Yang's penis had been without blood for too long, it would be impossible to reattach, HuffPost UK reported.

The rule of thumb as far as any body part...don't leave home without it.

Speaking of Missing Body Parts

A severed finger left at the crime scene helped police in Glendale,  Arizona arrest a man suspected of trying to steal copper wire.

An air conditioning company employee reported to the Glendale police that  someone tried to steal the wire from his truck on Oct. 7th.

The spool of wire — worth more than $300 — had been pulled out about 20 feet from the truck, and what appeared to be a cut off finger was caught in the wiring.

Police retrieved the finger as evidence, and forensic technicians were able to match the fingerprint to 29-year-old Joshua Allen Goverman.

Goverman told detectives he lost a finger while working on a car. (not really a great excuse as the police had caught him red handed albeit minus one finger) He was booked on suspicion of theft. 

Authorities didn't know whether Goverman had a lawyer who could be reached for comment.

Perhaps, Goverman is having trouble dialing his lawyer's number.

Do Over and Over and Over

A Kingsport, Tennessee woman's food cravings allegedly ran amok Wednesday morning, as her boyfriend's refusal to go to McDonald's spurred her to run him over with a pickup truck — striking him three times.

Crystal Greer Brooks was arrested shortly after midnight when police arrived at the scene and found evidence of injuries to Brook's boyfriend that appeared to be consistent with being dragged under the truck.

Upon interviewing a witness, police learned Brooks, her boyfriend and an acquaintance had "all been drinking" then had decided to go out to get something to eat.  (are we surprised about the drinking part?)

Brooks allegedly became angry at their choice of restaurant — which is not identified in the police report — and demanded that her boyfriend pull his pickup truck to the side of the road. As he exited and walked to the front of the vehicle, she slid behind the wheel.

According to witness statements to police, Brooks then pulled forward and struck her boyfriend, knocking him, "onto the hood and then onto the ground." She's then alleged to have accelerated forward two additional times, striking her boyfriend in each instance.

Brooks denied hitting the man with the truck, claiming that he had, "jumped onto the hood." Based on his injuries and tattered clothing, police determined otherwise.

An individual who accompanied the pair attributed the attack to the golden arches, saying Brooks, "was mad they didn't stop at McDonald's."

Brooks was arrested and charged with aggravated assault, booked into the city jail and then transported to the Sullivan County jail in Blountville.

That is the very definition of a Mac-attack.  You have to wonder what the boyfriend's choice of a restaurant was, if McDonalds was a step up.


Luvbeingagrampa said...

Hello from Germany and soon Amsterdam. I just found out today that there is some Italian in my blood. Or at least there is with our two grandsons when they were both 2, here they are side by side and seem to be speaking Italiano .....""Hey, I wansa meat ball with that spaghetti""

Cheryl P. said...

We all know you are lying as there isn't a drop of anything in any of your family other than Dutch, Dutch or Dutch. If they have anything other than Dutch from you and Irish from me, we have to assume it's from their daddy's side of the family.

Jo-Anne said...

I had to read about Yang Hu cutting his penis off to Tim, well first I had to stop laughing then I read it to Tim and than Tim started laughing so it must be funny if it makes Tim laugh, the man has near zero sense of humour.

All women feel like hitting their man with a car or truck when he takes us to the wrong place for food, but few of us do it except in our dreams.

Robyn Engel said...

And I wonder if he wanted to go to Olive Garden. That's a crime in some states (or it should be), though they have good breadsticks.


Riot Kitty said...

So here I was thinking you were going to wax philosophical...then I see the penis story!!

You couldn't pay me to go to McDonald's, let alone inspire me to hit another person with a car (or anything else) because I wanted McNuggets so badly.

Cheryl P. said...

I love that he found some humor in it Jo-Anne. Surely he has more than zero when it comes to sense of humor.

If she thinks McDonalds is better than wherever her boyfriend wanted to go, he must of really picked an awful place.

Cheryl P. said...

I am laughing over the Olive Garden remark. I rarely go there as most of the entrees are a gazillion calories. And you are right those breadsticks...they are good but I eat high protein, low carb so they just sit on the table taunting me. Yes, I actually hear them saying "I know you want me!" They are really quite cruel.

As for the boyfriend, I bet he wanted to go to some dive because who would think McDonalds is a set up from much of anything. Plus she was arrested after midnight. What stays open after midnight?

Cheryl P. said...

Oh aren't you sweet to give me the benefit of the doubt that I might actually post something on Friday that would come under the heading of philosophical. No Friday "odd news" pretty much scrapes the crap of the bottom of the trash heap.

I am with you regarding the McDonalds incident. I can't imagine anything would ever inspire me to hit something with my car but certainly nothing at a fast food chain.

Have a great weekend, RK...

babs (beetle) said...

I can't imagine anything being bad enough for me to cut off a part of my body, but this leaves me scratching my head as to why you would cut off the part that is your only hope of having a normal sex life.

As for the girl that ran her boyfriend over? Words fail me.

Chubby Chatterbox said...

I never leave home without all my body parts. At least I think I don't. Happy Weekend.

Pickleope said...

While I want to sympathize with your having lost a post to the internet sandworm, I can't help but completely lose sight of that in light of the guy who RODE A BIKE WITHOUT HIS WEE-WEE! Those other two stories? You could have turned them into two completely different posts, because seriously, where do you go after a tale of a dude who snip-snipped his dingle-dangle for no reason? If he did that at 26, I'm curious how he'll react in his 30's and even more sexless.

Cheryl P. said...

I would of said he was high or drunk but he had the sense of presence to go to the hospital. Not thinking clearly enough to pick up his penis and take it with him. I am sure the guy needs more help than a medical doctor can provide.

Years ago I hit a squirrel running across the road and I was horrified at the prospect that I hurt an animal, I wouldn't be able to live with myself, if I purposefully hurt a human.

According to the article, the boyfriend wasn't seriously hurt but intentionally try to run over someone.

Cheryl P. said...

I always figured you were a smart guy. I'll bet Mrs. C would remind you if you left anything behind.

You and Mrs. C have a great weekend as well.

Cheryl P. said...

Some weeks there is just that ONE story that stands out as bizarre. That was the one this week. I can't imagine how any of that worked that he was capable of getting himself to the hospital on a bicycle with a completely severed penis. THEN he went home and made the trip again. Don't they have ambulances in China????

I, too, didn't see his train of thought. Even a delusional person (you would think) might see the significance of needing certain equipment on the outside chance he might ever want to have sex. (even if it was a party for one)

ChickenConsigliere said...

I don't know where you get your news, but I'm subscribing to that newspaper. Wowza.

Kathe W. said...

OMG....where do you find these hilalrious news stories.....thanks for the laughs!

Cheryl P. said...

I got the penis guy...well I guess that is the penisless guy's story from reddit. But most of my stuff comes from UPI or Rueters. It never ceases to amaze me how many really strange things happen any given week.

Cheryl P. said...

Hi, Kathe...

hahaha, where all 100 percent totally accurate, news comes from...the Internet. Usually I find a lot of strange stories on UPI or Reuters.

Hope you are having a good weekend. Is it getting colder there yet?

AletaObrien said...

I almost didn't read the other ones, because I was laughing too hard with the first one. OMG…

But seriously, I've read that there are addictive ingredients in fast food restaurants… just not THAT addictive that you would run someone over.

You find some of the craziest stories and the sad thing is that they are out there to be found!!

Cheryl P. said...

I am finding it odd that lately some of the most bizarre stories are all happening in China. I think this is like the 4th one I've posted on my "weird news" day. Maybe with that many people there are just more chances to find crazy.

The girl must of been desperate for a Big Mac for sure. Wouldn't it be interesting if the boyfriend is still hanging around while he nurses his injuries.

lisleman said...

I also had trouble with blogger on Friday. Of course as it turned out it was frustration Friday for me due to kitchen plumbing issues. My wild ass guess would be that Blogger pickup some bad customer service contagion from the Obamacare site.
The China guy should take up road bicycle racing - he can cycle in pain already.
The fingered thief - after still having the image of the first story in my head - well at least it was not his penis.
Last one - Do you think she would have gone through the drive-thru with him on the hood?
All your stories showed the importance of a good body of evidence.

Cheryl P. said...

Kitchen plumbing issues sound far worse than Blogger issues. Let's hope Blogger doesn't have the massive numbers of people not being able to sign on that the MarketPlace has. Getting blog readers is hard enough without them being kicked off.
I think long distance anything might be a problem in the future for Chinese man. I would think it would be hard to peddle for long periods of time and manage a catheter. I really wasn't thinking straight when he went for whatever sharp tool he used.
Yeah, the finger guy is lucky in comparison. Even going to jail he is better off than penisless guy.
As for the nutty girlfriend story. Yeah, the guy would be safer on the hood but his days are numbered if he doesn't lose the bat-shit crazy girlfriend. If she gets this worked up over fast food, I can only imagine what a dealing with a real issue would look like.

lisleman said...

Nutty girlfriend - Assuming he remembers what happened (good chance he might not) - he now has a warning of what she is like which many guys (and gals) don't always get. I guess I'm trying to say a bat-shit crazy girl might be better if you can handle crazy than an apparently nice girl with a hidden agenda. Better to know before it gets legally more complicated.

Lady Jewels Diva said...

Knock on wood I have never had a problem with Blogger. The only issues I do have are setting pictures properly so they go across the page, but I'll work on that.

Cheryl P. said...

I guess he is safe in the short term. She is in jail. When she gets out he better hope that he has some medical insurance. This guy might be screwed on that one too. The Marketplace was taken off line for the weekend according to the local news.

Cheryl P. said...

I have had some problems with the size of my pictures as well. Your art work is awesome. Did you draw your logo?

ravenjanedoh said...

"...Shortly after his amateur amputation..." well it is now, isn't it! - I'm saying the Mac-attack girl was pregnant. I once threw a pizza on the wall when I was pregnant... because the jerks had put cheese on it. Somehow it seemed rational at the time.

Cheryl P. said...

Haha...Yes, it definitely is now. Gives a whole new meaning to short man syndrome.

You might be on to something. Who would be that desperate for McDonald's unless it was the illogical cravings of a pregnant woman? Now that makes sense. Totally understand about the illogical seeming logical when pregnancy hormones take over your brain. Thank goodness, it goes away in 9 months...well--per pregnancy that is.

Lady Jewels Diva said...

I use a clip art software to do all of my pics.

meleahrebeccah said...

"Have you ever done something, only to regret having done it and wish for a do over? "

Yes. Definitely.


Um - I am CRINGING and GAGGING at the Yang Hu story. OMG.


"Perhaps, Goverman is having trouble dialing his lawyer's number."

HA!!! Probably!!


"That is the very definition of a Mac-attack."
ROTFLMAO - It certainly is!

Cheryl P. said...

That guy is so going to regret his decision on snipping off is boy parts. Let's hope he never, evah sees porn again because that is just going to frustrate the sh** out of him.
You just have to love the guys moxie to stand there and claim he wasn't at the crime scene when they have his finger....and the obvious fact is...he is missing one.
What a bitch of a girlfriend. It would be bad enough that she hit him but to back up TWICE and hit him again and again. That girl really needs some Valium.

meleahrebeccah said...

I am dying laughing at your entire reply!