The Eyes of March

Yesterday the remaining traces of last week's snow storm vanished with the aid of some bright sunshine and  very spring-like temperatures.  What a difference 7 days can make in suburbia. Along with the 72 degree temp,   doors began to open and people came out of their homes.  Yes, after a long winter (I am assuming it is nearly over at this point..just call me an optimist) people are starting to reappear in the neighborhood.

The coming of spring is a mixed bag in suburbia.  Sure it's nice to see our old friend the sun but with it comes a few Battles of Suburbia.  Just in all other types of battles, there are going to be winners and there are going to be losers.

I have spent most of my adult life living in suburbia.  Now I know some of you more urban oriented dwellers are TSK TSKing and saying words like "cookie cutter", "sprawl" and "I'd rather die" and/or  you country dwellers are saying phrases like "living on top of each other" and " no elbow room" and "I'd rather die".  Sure...I see your point.  We have lived in urban areas,  rural areas, big cities and small towns  but about the time our Kiddo #1 came into the world we decided that suburbia fit our family's needs.

Soooo...After having spent the last 40 plus years living within spitting distance from  my neighbors lot line, I have discovered a lot of truths about living in "planned communities".  As time and space won't allow for me to list all the ins-and-outs of suburbia living in a single post,   I will share a couple of  nuggets today and perhaps address a few more down the road. 

Thought Number One: Neighboring in the Midwest

Neighboring can be a challenge...or at least it can be for those that might be somewhat apathetic about being part of a neighborhood clique  (AKA me).  Despite the obvious "wordiness" on my part that you read in my blogs, I don't tend to visit over the fence much.  My husband is much more the liaison of our household to make small talk.  I, on the other hand, am the person that actually knows the neighbors by name.  (Husband,  the guy across the street, his name is Jeff)  BUT, in my defense, I am not unfriendly either.  I just keep interaction to a minimum.  Those of you that have been reading my blog for awhile might remember some of my "bad" neighbor stories.   I figure by keeping a modest amount of detachment, will save me from being asked to do all their mending. (yes, neighbor in Iowa sent her kid over weekly with things needing mended.)

One of the components of dealing with neighbors in this part of the country, is that people hibernate in the winter months. Sure, you see them once in awhile, while they shovel snow but then they are just grouchy and cold.  Not overly friendly ...with a few notable exceptions of a couple of houses to the right of mine.

The grouchier neighbors do upon occasion perk up when my husband comes outside pushing his snow blower. It appears that snow blowers foster camaraderie.  Yes,  and if there is ever a time to be nice to the neighbor,  it's when there is 10 inches of snow and the guy next door seems to enjoy pushing snow off walks and drives with a shiny red machine.  (He loves to mow the lawn as well. Yes, he is an interesting person...and when I say "interesting" I mean odd.)

Midwest hibernation is coming to an end...with any luck.

Anyway...as I was saying, people here stay confined to their houses from about late November to sometime mid-March when little by little they come out into the yard.  They may not look exactly like you remembered them in the fall.  The lack of sunshine and  binging on "comfort food" has left them a little pasty and with a few extra  el-bees that weren't' evident 4 months ago.

The fact, they have a serious case of  "cabin fever" makes everyone a little more crazy than they would be in August. (to clarify, I am saying slightly crazier.  It is a given that they have some level of crazy year round.)

 EXAMPLE:  Last week we had 6 inches of snow.  This winter we had 39 inches of snow.  Up until yesterday, the remnants of that snow remained.  I am not kidding you...yesterday as the day reached up into the 70's,  I saw two neighbors out watering their lawns.  (Our irrigation systems are still winterized here, so I am talking about watering lawns with a hose and sprinkler.) I am not exactly sure if they truly believe that water is needed or if they are just needing an excuse to see the pasty, pudgy neighbors that have ventured out into the sun.

Which is bringing me up to my next thought, really.  People in subdivisions by their very nature are competitive and territorial.   These two things go hand and hand.

Thought Number Two:  Keeping Up With the Jones' While Simultaneously Keeping Them Off Your Lawn

Little Crabby Pants..Ruler of Her Sandbox

I would be disingenuous if I didn't confess that I am totally guilty of being territorial . Remember when you were a kid and forced to share with the other little kids.  I did but I expected them to treat my things very carefully.

I haven't progressed much.  I am fussy about our little patch of suburbia. There are a lot of examples of this but let's start with this.  We are "yard people".  Invariably, our lawn will look something akin to fake turf because we work hard to make it pretty. We don't keep our lawn lush because we are trying to prove something. We keep it lush because it looks nicer that way. Although having a nice  lawn isn't without some consequences.  In most cases, half the neighbors will admire it and half the neighbors will  want to murder you in your sleep.   With this in mind, I keep my doors locked at night.

For my part, I am willing to accept those that pray for fungus to attack my grass, but while praying for pestilence, I want them to keep their dog from using my yard as a toilet. Oh, and the multiple kitties that use my flower gardens as their litter box...I am not a big fan of that either.  (I am a big fan of dogs and cats...just want them to use the bathroom facilities somewhere other than my little slice of  suburbia.)

Suburban Moats...next big trend

AND if there is one thing that solidifies my need to protect my territory,  it's when someone blocks the end of my driveway or jumps the curb in front of my house with car tires. (whereby sprinkler heads die a quick and ugly death.) Yes, I recognize I am being petty.  I wouldn't be the first person to feel this way if you think about it.

Last summer, we had a very vivid example of a neighbor wanting us to respect the sovereignty of their yard.   One of our trees had been hanging over the fence.  I don't believe the tree was TRYING to be invasive or disrespectful of the airspace hovering over the fence but the "tree trimmer" that was hired to correct the problem, did so with gusto.

While this is a representation of the actual tree...It is very accurate.

It didn't go unnoticed.  The aforementioned liaison small-talker went out to have a chat with the tree trimmer guy. The talk didn't go as well as one might hope. Tree trimmer guy told hubby that if he was a GOOD neighbor he wouldn't of let the tree branches grow over to the other side of the fence.  This didn't make a favorable impression on Hubby.  The conversation deteriorated from there.

Robert Frost really knew a thing or two about neighborhoods.

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Invisible Ties

Last week as I glanced at the Kansas City Star, I was met with the headlines:

Missouri Makes top 10 of most miserable states. 

 I was immediately inundated with questions popping into my head.I mean...really..It's a banner headline in a Missouri newspaper and they are touting it as a "top ten" achievement.  Are they under the impression that this is a GOOD thing?


 Anyway, as I was saying...I have questions.

1.  Was there a contest to enter so the states might  win the"Most Miserable" title and is there a prize?


2.  What qualifies a state to be deemed miserable? 

3. While it's true I live in Kansas, I am just 5 minutes away from the Missouri side of town...does this impact me in some way? Could the Missouri misery spill over to Kansas?

4.  Where did Kansas rate and did it lose points for sharing a town with Missouri?

Most of my regular readers know that I have moved multiple times in my life.  I think I am currently at 39 moves, give or take, .... but 21 moves for sure since my marriage 42 years ago.  So as you might conclude, I have lived in numerous states and have conflicting loyalties.  I have lived in several cities within Missouri and for the life of me,  I never remember feeling miserable.  OK..maybe a tad miserable with morning sickness when Kiddo #2 was born while living in Independence,  Missouri but I can hardly blame the state for that.  I would go so far as to say I have had very pleasant experiences in the state so...really?...how miserable can it be?

Upon further research I find that this" less than flattering" title is a result of a poll done by the Gallup Healthways organization called State of American Well Being. The word MISERABLE isn't exactly what the pollsters had in mind, when creating their study, I would guess.  However, every article I have read related to this poll does refer to M word.  If you would like to see the report in it's entirety you can click here.  There is a link on their website so you can download the full report...but here is the result of the study.

Some climbing and some sliding in a year's time.

After 178,072 people were surveyed  from every state in the Union..these are the winners and/or losers.
As it turned out Kansas came in 20th from the top for well-being....OR if you are a "half glass empty" sort of person we are 30th up from being the most miserable state of the Union.  West Virginia was the winner of that title.

Thought Number One:  Isn't Misery in the Eye of the Beholder?

I looked over the lists and see many of the states I have resided in such as Arkansas, Missouri, Texas, Arizona, Iowa, Nebraska, and Illinois and not one of them has ever taken the top prize for being the least miserable place to live.   In fact, four of them are ranked next to each other.  HMMM...maybe I am so used


Doesn't "MOST" mean they won the
greatest number of points in some catagories?

to being moderately miserable that I have become numb to it....but then when I lived in Iowa and Nebraska wouldn't I have felt the surge of being "less miserable"?  If, so it went unnoticed. 

It could be said if you factor things like longevity, health, workplace safety, job availability, economic climate, and such that "on paper" one state might appear better than the next but is that what a person would need to have a sense of  them well-being?  If we are talking about how stable and secure, or how happy and content a person feels about the place they live in...do any of the hard statistical facts really matter?

How can a study prove statistically why  people (like my husband and I) would leave Texas where it is warm and sunny to live in Kansas*...where it looks like this today...



*Note:  It has already been established at this point that I am not good at picking the "winner" states.

At this point ....you doubt my sanity don't you?

BECAUSE...part of what makes us feel a sense of well being is being near our daughter, son-in-law and grandsons. 

Thought Number Two:  The Ties that Bind

I am on most days very happy in Kansas but this isn't the place that all my ancestors before me made their mark.  I am a relative newcomer to this state so while I am content to live here, I also don't have a firm ties that would keep me from ever moving if my children or grandchildren moved out of the area. Conversely, I wouldn't badmouth the state as it provides me with a safe, decent place to live where I don't worry for my safety. It rankles me a bit when people make negative, stereotypical, comments about the Midwest.

As with most things there are both the good and the bad to every state, province or country a person would choose. 

BUT... back to my point that some people's love of "their" homeland isn't hinging on statistics of how many hospitals or parks are in a certain geographical area... some of the people I have met have such a deep unshakable bond to this state because this is where their family history lies. It is hard to quantify why people are attached to an area. 

Take for example my friend Christi. I have talked about her before to those of you that have been reading my blog for awhile.  She is the friend that died last September while waiting for an organ donor to give her some new lungs.  Christi loved Kansas like no other person I have met.  She loved this state with every ounce of her being. She grew up near the Flint Hills and found a beauty there that most people just can't see in the flat plains of the Midwest.

There is a certain beauty if one goes looking for it but it's easily overlooked in the plainness of the prairie. 

Flint Hills Photography :: James Nedresky photographer --link to website

Christi spent a lot of time in the Flint Hills.  Once she and her husband went hiking in the hills until after dark. They laid down in the tall grass and looked  up at the stars.  She referred to that night as "her starry, starry night"  It was there that  her ashes were scattered.

Christi would have been offended at being ranked 20th...although she might of laughed at the 43rd ranking of Missouri.

And the Oscar Goes To

As most of my more astute readers might have noticed, lately I have reduced my posts to one day a week.  This is  a half-assed effort on my part to try to find some balance between doing productive things versus  doing non-productive things.  ( non-productive things AKA watching TV and surfing the Internet)

The battle rages on.

Yesterday thanks to the abysmally low temperatures and the sleet/snow mix that found it's way to hold me hostage, I spent the day doing looking at various screens.   Really, the only way I could of accomplished LESS over the weekend would be to have been in a coma.   BUT...given the fact, hubby is working in San Antonio these days, I am trying my best not to need medical attention.  I am fairly sure an ambulance would look and my ice covered driveway and say "if someones going to die, better her than us trying to drive up there to save her."


My one reprieve for the weekend was watching the Oscars. 

Yes, despite the part of me that is conflicted between the shallow narcissistic side of Hollywood and the creative, artistic side of making good films, I invariably tune into the Academy Award show every year. 
This year I started early in the day watching the pre-red carpet preparations.  You just have to know when a person is desperate enough to watch people preparing a carpet for other people to walk on...that is a sign of complete disconnect. 

Still...I figured I would as in years past... I would digitally impose myself and Crabby Pants into the festivities.
Digitally traveling is just so much easier than actual travel.

So without delay...here are this years Oscar pictures.

 

Did you watch the Oscars this year?  Did you have favorite movies that won or didn't win? 

I will be back with my regular post tomorrow...unless I go into the aforementioned coma.