What Did You Say?

While having breakfast the other morning with new neighbor/new friend, she mentioned that while playing Bunco with a group of women recently, one of the Bunco players asked her point blank "How old are you, anyway?"

Even given the fact it was a "none of your business"  type of question,  my friend  gave a truthful answer.  To which the women responded "That's not SO old." 

HMMM...would I have answered the initial question?  Maybe... maybe not. Maybe I would of added 15 years to my real age, just to hear "You look really good for your age."  But then what if they said, "Yeah, that's what I would have guessed.  OR...maybe I would of told the truth as she did.  Ultimately, though,  I don't think a co-Bunco player needs my vital statistics.  Really, is it any of her business? Besides the addition of the words "anyway" and "so" gives a certain "judgey" quality to both her question and her response.  


Later that same day, Hubby and I were in a chain restaurant, eavesdropping on the table next to ours.  (Full disclosure: the b**** was being really loud and hard to "not" hear)  The manager was going from table to table asking everyone how their meal was and asking if patrons needed anything.  The loud lady said she needed honey butter.  The manager told her they didn't have honey butter but he could bring her both honey and butter.  She responded by saying. "You do that!  You don't look like you're doing much."

Seriously, was it necessary to add that extra tad of snottiness?  Was she trying to be funny?

Frankly, I wish I could haul my fictional cartoon alter-ego around with me and have her speak the unspoken comments that pop into my brain when I am confronted with either rude comments or rude behavior. It turns out my brain is very outspoken even if I am not.The part of my brain that IS Crabby Pants, probably needs some behavioral classes....something akin to puppy training classes for the brain.  Anyway as I was saying,  I don't have it in me to ACTUALLY  get into someone's face and call them out for a rude comment or some bone-head behavior.  

I suspect most of us have a daily encounter with some inconsiderate cell phone user or a driver that needs his license ceremoniously torched but as far as someone verbally insulting me such as the restaurant manager had been, it hasn't been a huge problem.  How would I handle an out right insult?...I might be be a sad, sulky mess or shrug it off if I thought the person that insulted me was an idiot.  Would I reciprocate in kind?  Probably not.  

I guess most people's capacity for rebounding with a "in-your-face" comment is  somewhat tied to their age, upbringing and generally if their personality is more extroverted or more introverted. 

 I have certainly become more extroverted as I have gotten older but the remnants of my upbringing play a part in how I handle confrontation. My childhood consisted  of living in the South (formerly the bastion of good manners) by very strict grandparents, then moving North to live with my dad who was a product of those same grandparents.  All the  "yes ma'ams and "no sirs'  began to sound out of place.  (Or maybe it was the thick southern drawl that sounded out of place.)  Still the years of "if you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."  or "treat people as you want to be treated" were firmly implanted within my being. There is still a part of me that feels the

need to say "yes ma'am and "no sir".

Sooo...when I occasionally have had my feelings stomped into the ground by some rude comment or irritated by some thoughtless  action, my mind imagines what Crabby Pants would say. However,  Cheryl P. brushes the dust off and tries to deflect the hurt  or irritation with either humor, distance or obscene hand gestures.  JUST KIDDING!!!

Up to this point in time, I haven't boiled over and gone Crazy Pants on anyone.  I am not above thinking that a rude comment deserves a rude come back, but the voices of my childhood are  hanging on for dear life whispering  "if you can't say something nice just keep your mouth shut. At some point I may choose to ignore those voices and lay into someone. 

HOWEVER...Rationally, I recognize that society has changed as far as "old school" manners. What was once considered rude versus what is considered rude today, has evolved.   I a pretty sure that any person that followed Emily Post's original book to a tee, would come across as a freak show.  

Just to illustrate the point....Let's take a look at the right way to greet someone according to Emily.

 Chapter III - Greetings - What to Say When Introduced.

As explained in the foregoing chapter, the correct formal greeting is: "How do you do?"  If Mrs. Younger is presented to Mrs. Worldly, Mrs. Worldly says “How do you do?” If the Ambassador of France is presented to her, she says “How do you do?” Mrs. Younger and the Ambassador likewise say “How do you do?” or merely bow.

I doubt that the bowing would go unnoticed but then I suppose the odds of me being introduced to the Ambassador of France are fairly remote.  Emily ran in a different circle than I do.  Let's assume for the sake of argument, that Emily would be appalled at someone saying "How's it goin'? Would she roll over in her grave if she heard someone say "How's it hangin'?. Just think of how she would of reacted IF someone would of left a nasty comment  on her blog (surely she would of had a blog if there would have been computers in 1922!!!) You have to know that there would be anonymous commenters calling her bad names and telling her she didn't know s***.

OK, we can agree that things needed to relax a bit since Emily's time,  but has the pendulum swung too far the other way?  Going back to the nosy Bunco player, I guess my friend should be lucky she wasn't asked how much her house cost, what her sex life is like and how much she weighs.  
Crabby Pants would have some comebacks.   
 

And the Oscar Goes To

As most of my more astute readers might have noticed, lately I have reduced my posts to one day a week.  This is  a half-assed effort on my part to try to find some balance between doing productive things versus  doing non-productive things.  ( non-productive things AKA watching TV and surfing the Internet)

The battle rages on.

Yesterday thanks to the abysmally low temperatures and the sleet/snow mix that found it's way to hold me hostage, I spent the day doing looking at various screens.   Really, the only way I could of accomplished LESS over the weekend would be to have been in a coma.   BUT...given the fact, hubby is working in San Antonio these days, I am trying my best not to need medical attention.  I am fairly sure an ambulance would look and my ice covered driveway and say "if someones going to die, better her than us trying to drive up there to save her."


My one reprieve for the weekend was watching the Oscars. 

Yes, despite the part of me that is conflicted between the shallow narcissistic side of Hollywood and the creative, artistic side of making good films, I invariably tune into the Academy Award show every year. 
This year I started early in the day watching the pre-red carpet preparations.  You just have to know when a person is desperate enough to watch people preparing a carpet for other people to walk on...that is a sign of complete disconnect. 

Still...I figured I would as in years past... I would digitally impose myself and Crabby Pants into the festivities.
Digitally traveling is just so much easier than actual travel.

So without delay...here are this years Oscar pictures.

 

Did you watch the Oscars this year?  Did you have favorite movies that won or didn't win? 

I will be back with my regular post tomorrow...unless I go into the aforementioned coma.

The First Day

I know some of you purists out there that feel the need to think in a systematic, organized way are wondering why I am posting "Day ONE" when I already posted a post named Day Two. [Day Two link] Well...because it's my blog and I  can play fast and loose with the timeline...but in reality that post was referring to the day, I posted it...not what we did on day two.  The REAL Day Two post will be coming soon. 

So...to bring you up to speed,....when I first got into Germany, I landed in Frankfort at 11:45 AM  German time...but, of course, that is 4:45 AM Kansas City time.  I know some people struggle with jet lag but that has never been the case for me.  As  a regular member of Club Insomnia, being awake at 4:45 wouldn't be out of  the norm anyway. 

The Guest House where Hubby  was residing is  79 miles down the autobahn (or 127 Km if you prefer the metric system) away so we first had to get back to his place.  I might point out to those of you that haven't been to Germany before, you might want to brace yourself for a really fast commute.  While there are speed limits, no one ever uses them.  Hubby was going over 110  and people were passing us like we were sitting still.  I am fairly confident that some of them were calling us "pussies" but as I don't speak German..so I am not entirely certain of that. 

After dropping off my bags in his room, I was anxious to go see some Germany. Weissenthurm is a small little town with a couple of notable historical sights but on that first day, we went 6 miles to Andernach where hubby has been  working the last three months. 

I have been to quite a few German towns but Andernach  is one of the most interesting, quaint and charming towns along the Rhein in my opinion.  It is, also, one of the oldest towns in Germany having celebrated a "Bimillenary feast" in 1988.

A few other little facts....  First of all, the pronunciation isn't "Ander-nak".  It's something akin to "On-der-nuukk"...with the nuk part sounding like you are trying to clear your throat. 

Andernach is a town of about 30,000 people.  It sits on the left bank of the Rhein River and the people there have there own German dialect. The dialect is considered Low German.  One of the local residents that had a working knowledge of English told me that they can't understand the German (High German) spoken in other parts of Germany.  I was tempted to say "Welcome to my world...I can't understand any of you"  but I thought that might not make the best impression.    Their dialect, by the way is called Annenach.

Andernach was settled in 12 BC by the Romans.  The town is surrounded by the medieval remnants of the fortifications that surrounded the town.   There are also, the remains of a castle, a toll bastion, and a geyser. Yes, you read that correctly...there is the world's highest cold water geyser is in Andernach, Germany.



But back to our tour...One of our first stops was the Round Tower. 

The Round Tower is one of the original 5 towers, two gates and wall that acted as a fortress for the city. Construction of the tower began in 1440 and completed in 1443.  The French troops of Ludwig XIV tried to blow it up in 1689 but all he managed to do was knock a bit of a dent into it. Currently it is a museum open on weekends allowing visitors to walk up to the top.

Ludwig XIV dented it but didn't destroy it

climbing, climbing, climbing

view from the tippy-top of the tower

After leaving the tower we walked through a historic church and then toward the  the downtown area where there was a small Christmas Market and a pageant taking place.

Going through one of the old fortress gates toward the town square

Getting closer

Nearly There

Let's Eat,  Drink and Be Merry

This was a tiny little market compared to the ones we went to later in the week. At this point it's time to head back to Weissenthurm but we return to Andernach to see the castle, bastion and geyser.  Crabby Pant's Tour bus  will pick up where we left off on the next post...

To Be Continued...

Let's Talk About Words That Start With C

Today let's talk about some C words. I am sure you all are thinking C is for Cookie but today we are talking about some other C words.   Typically, on Friday each week, we talk about the news stories that are found under the heading of weird or odd.  But you and I know that each week this brings forth some crazy. Once in awhile, I see some cute, some creative, some classy or classless,  but for the most part articles classified as "weird news" contains some "crazy".  This week is no different.

Let's start with the Word...CAR.

Well....to be more specific, we are talking about a crazy man carrying a gun in a car.

 Most of us have seen an erratic driver but have you ever pulled up along side of one, only to see a gun pointed at you.

David Kolloar was driving on Interstate 75 in  Madison County, Kentucky  on Monday and noticed a car driving in and out of the emergency lane. The car at one point  was appearing  to swerve into another car on it's left.   David pulled out his phone and started taping the situation.  He thought that he would have documentation available so he could call the police.

What he didn't expect was as he moved forward the erratic driver got next to him and lowered the window.
David hit his brakes to miss getting shot at. When he safely got off the road he called the authorities.

He said he wasn't trying to be a vigilante but he was worried about the safety of himself and others on the road.  His actions did lead the police to track down the gun toting driver.  Investigators found Dr. Perrin Dobyns in Indiana where he was arrested. 

Police credit Kollar for the quick arrest because of the video and his awareness to get the man's license plate. The rest, they said, fell into place after they were able to confirm the man's identity and vehicle with Indiana State Police.

 "We're not sure where he was coming from, and he had about another hour-and-a-half to two hour drive back home. So, there's no telling what actually could've happened after he left Madison County," said Trooper Robert Purdy of the Kentucky State Highway Patrol.

 Police tell us that Dobyns works at the Branchville Correctional Facility, in Branchville, Indiana. WKYT contacted a local Sheriff's office who told us that Dobyns is actually the prison's doctor.

(Update: On Tuesday the doctor was returned to Kentucky and charged. He was to appear in court on Wednesday.)

How ironic is that...the gun toting doctor worked for a prison.  BUT according to the reports, they fired him. Clearly going from being a prison doctor to being a prisoner, isn't the ideal career path.


Cleaning Up the Evidence

An Oklahoma man was arrested on burglary charges after police matched his DNA to used toilet paper found at the scene of the crime, police said.

Charles Marqull Williams was charged Wednesday with burglary in Oklahoma County District Court for

allegedly stealing from an area home, The (Oklahoma City) Oklahoman reported.

Police said the suspect broke into the home, took several items, and used the bathroom before taking off.

Unflushed feces and a used piece of toilet paper on the floor were found at the scene. (on the floor, really??...Oink, Oink)

Police matched DNA found in the messy bathroom to Williams


How embarrassing for Charles, to have to admit "not flushing" got him thrown in the can.  TSK TSK...but aren't we curious if when the cops told him how they found him did he say "OH CRAP!.

And Last but Not the Least (crazy that is) is the Word Cheating


A married man reported that he had been robbed during a sexual encounter with a prostitute.  She, allegedly, picked his pocket of $9000.00 during a sexual act.  Evidently his attention was diverted at the time.

According to the Brisbane Court documentation, Navnish Bansai was approached while he was eating

supper at an Indian restaurant by a woman who asked him "if he was up for some fun".

They chatted a bit, negotiated a price and then proceeded to get into Boansai's car and drove to New Farm Park.

According to the victim, he claims that while the hooker was providing him with a service, she stole the 9K from his jacket pocket. She then got out of the car and ran across the soccer fields.

Bansai, who represented himself in court said the reason he had so much cash is that he had taken the money out of his wife's checking account to buy himself a new car.  The prosecuting attorney in the case said it was a "doozie" of a story.

The woman was located and Bansai got most of his money back but then.... he was arrested and charged with public solicitation of a prostitute.

Isn't there an old saying that a person who represents himself in court has a fool for a client?  What a great example.  What a fool!! I wonder if he will represent himself in the divorce hearing as well?  (that's just a guess on my part.)

Passing the Blame

Many of you that have been following me for awhile, know that every morning at 6:00 AM, I walk here in Kansas City with a friend who lives in Dallas, TX.  Yes, with the aid of modern technology in the form of a
Bluetooth earpiece that has wind reduction capabilities, we can walk 5 miles together while simultaneously solving the world's problems.

This morning she was telling me about a conversation she heard at work where a young (ish) girl was saying that she totaled her car because of the size of the Sonic cup her soft drink was in.  According to the co-worker's account of the accident, the careless driver in front of her stopped suddenly.  Co-worker said she would of avoided hitting  the car had it not been for the Route 44 Sonic drink flying out of the cup holder. In her effort to save the drink or keep the soda flood at bay (take your pick which she was trying for) she let up on the brake and smashed into the car.

That wasn't even the end of the story.  Co-worker girl said that she had moved back home after a divorce and really was fine with the car being totaled.  It turns out that the insurance settlement paid off the loan with a bit of money to spare.  She figured she could use her parents' car, thus not having a car payment.  WIN, WIN!!!

Which brings up the subject of today's post.

Thought Number One :  RATIONALIZING 

(according to Wikipedia)
 In psychology and logic, rationalization (also known as making excuses is an unconscious defense mechanism in which perceived controversial behaviors or feelings are logically justified and explained in a rational or logical manner in order to avoid any true explanation, and are made consciously tolerable – or even admirable and superior – by plausible means.

HHHMMM...I am not sure that I think the word unconscious needs to be involved. Besides, don't they mean subconscious.  Would we even be making excuses if we were unconscious?? But I digress... I think many of us that have an extreme talent for justifying our behavior and we are very conscious while we make our excuses.

 Dare, I say that I think our family has a genetic ability to find a positive spin on just about anything we want to justify.  I come from a long line of people with this talent. Then, to really make sure that our gene pool remained pure, I married a guy that was equally great at rationalizing.

Crabby Pants with her 1st cousin, Fancy Pants

Yep, people in my family can call themselves "big boned" instead of fat and eat large quantities  of ice cream saying it's a good source of calcium AND ...our very best example of rationalizing comes into play often and regularly.

It was a DEAL!

(yes, you know who you are!)

Thought Number Two: Not a One Trick Pony

Our little tribe isn't just about being able to spin anything that could be perceived negative into something that is substantive positive, we also have a lock on being able to put off anything to a later date.

Yes, ...we train our young ones early that everything can wait.

Yes, Grandson #2 now sports the phrase "maybe next Saturday", no matter what the request is.  Our gene pool remains strong.





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Droning On

Remember when you once played the game  I Spy.  I don't mean the board game but the child's game. 
Often it was played in the car on trips to pass the time away.  I know this might seem foreign if you are young enough to be used to sitting in the car with a DVD player or having iPads/tablets to divert your attention away from seeing any actual sights that might be of interest outside your car window. 

Anyway,.....as I was saying..there is a game where a person said "I spy with my little eye, something that's starts with an "D" (as an example) and the other person tried to guess what had been seen. (Hint: For today's  subject we are not seeing dogs, dolls, dorks, or dancing divas.)

Just as I was getting used to the idea that  groups of people were tracking what I buy, what Internet sites I look at,  reading my email and checking out my cell phone calls, I read about the drones hovering around

I hope Mr. Corbet isn't speaking for all rednecks.

keeping tabs on things. Mind you I am not necessarily talking about military drones.Private companies are also using drones to keep track of the activities of others.

I happened to be reading the paper last week when I noticed a story on the front page  of the Kansas City Star that addressed a serious problem arising around the U.S.

I would have inserted more of the article but the fact that it was about a third of a newspaper page doesn't really endear itself to be put here on TAOBC.

Essentially it said, hunters aren't thrilled about being spied on. (are we to assume that other groups are open to be spied on?) and have declared open season on unmanned drones.  You might be surprised to hear that the FAA is less than thrilled about these drones being shot out of the sky and are asking the hunters to be prepared to face some consequences.  

For example,  a Colorado town, Deer Trail, population 550, has garnered international attention by proposing an ordinance that would permit shooting down drones.  Licensed hunters may even collect $100 bounty if they present verifiable pieces of a drone.

As with all "differences of opinion" lately, this is stirring up the debate of  "their rights versus our rights."   Clearly, there is a lot of snooping going on. Do we have a right to privacy?   

Crabby isn't sure what the limit is for drones. 

Thought Number Two:   To those that are watching

For anyone that is monitoring my Facebook/Twitter/email/blog/cell phone or computer  for information, try to laugh at my jokes, ignore the rants,  don't tell certain family members about the blog as they are better off not knowing.  Oh...and some of the stuff I Google...it's for research purposes only...quit judging me.

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Bad Boys, Bad Boys

Maybe I should beg for your forgiveness on the front side of this post.  You know how I usually avoid politics like the plague.... but who can resist what is becoming the longest running dirty joke in the history of politics.  Therefore, I am breaking my own rule and talking a bit about the bizarre news conference this week.  You now the one I mean.  The one where Anthony Weiner  AKA Carlos Danger,  tells the world he has done some bad things.

Ladies, on the chance you don't recognize him with his clothes on, let me introduce
you to Anthony Weiner.

It's Back!

Yes, Anthony is back in the news as he has been sending explicit texts of his privates to another woman for the last 6-9 months or so using the alias Carlos Danger.Since his resignation from Congress, he has continued "chatting" with women on the Internet.  He says at least three since his resignation.  In an effort to explain his recent actions, he and his wife Huma had a press conference on Tuesday.  

A.  He reminds us that he warned everyone that  more pictures would be surfacing.  (can't say he didn't give us a heads up)

B.  His  assures us that his wife is is supporting his mayoral run and will be sticking with him.  (Like glue I would guess.)  According to Anthony, Huma has forgiven him. 

The forgiveness is clearly  written all over her face. 

C.   He apologized to those that have received and are receiving texts from him.  (receiving??? Doesn't that imply there are still more of these to be discovered?)





 I realize that the video of the news conference is long so I will give you a couple of the highlights on the outside chance you don't want to sit through it.  But you might want to reconsider......it's worth a peek as you may never again see a finer example of  what a wife looks like that wants to take some man parts and slice and dice them into ttttiiiinnnyyy little pieces.

During his very insincere apology (at least it seemed insincere to me) there was Cubicle Guy peering over the wall.  At one point he waived.

Nothing creepy about this, huh??

OK, maybe Crabby Pants and Puppet Guy weren't there but whose going to notice
while Cubicle Guy is lurking.

 If it wasn't already so bizarre to have a serial sexter with the name  Weiner  but one who continues to give the writers over at SNL new material on a regular basis.


Speaking of no self-control...

Chris Sevier, a 36-year-old man from Tennessee, got so addicted to porn videos that his wife took his children and left him. Now he has sued Apple, saying the Cupertino, Calif.-based company failed to install any filter in its devices to prevent his affliction.

MacBook Pimp Pro Mugshot

In a 50-page complaint, Sevier calls Apple a “silent poisoner” responsible for the proliferation of “arousal addiction, sex trafficking, prostitution and countless numbers of destroyed lives.”

Sevier is seeking damages from Apple but said he will drop the lawsuit if Apple agrees to sell devices with a “safe mode.”

Sevier argued, adding that until he got the MacBook, he had never seen porn of any kind or been to a strip club or sex shop.

Is there a way to install a filter on Chris. The safe mode for this guy is the off button.

The Wizz Kid

Some residents of a Swedish town said they are not amused by a 26-foot-tall sculpture of a male figure urinating into a river.

The "Bad Bad Boy" sculpture, by Finnish artist Tommi Toija, was installed as part of the Orebro Open Art exhibition on the bank of the River Svartan, The Local.se reported Thursday.

A 34-year-old resident who gave her name as Anna said she "really hates" the sculpture and finds its nudity and urination "provocative." (I guess Swedes don't have the propensity to jump right to four letter words when describing things they hate.)

However, another resident, Ebba, 62, said she was slightly amused by the work. "I think it's interesting," she said. "But I am happy it is not here forever." 

Toijas said there is no correct way to interpret his sculpture.

"For me, it's just a guy peeing in the river, no more, no less. Some might see it as a funny thing, others might be provoked," he said.

When you gotta go, ya gotta go.