Thursday, April 7, 2011

Are You Open or Closed?

Yesterday morning NBC news stated that the odds of the government shutting down were 61 percent.  They didn't really substantiate where that number came from so let's just assume that there is some likelihood that this might, indeed, happen.

Of course, what really caught my attention was the next news flash that, we all needed to be sure and get our Federal Income Tax forms in by April 15th.  If, however, there is a shutdown, be prepared to not get your refund in a timely manner.  Makes sense as all non-emergency employees would be furloughed.

For those of you that follow my little "mind meanderings" you know that one little thought can trigger a multitude of nonsensical scenarios.

First thing that came to mind....How do they know if we file on time if no one is there in the office retrieving our returns from PO Box 123456.  Well, you are thinking postmarks, right?  Really?  I don't think so.  There would be millions of postmarks to look at when they do get back to work. (and face it that could be weeks or months from now)  At that point these poor IRS workers are going to be busy answering phone calls trying to calm down the irate masses wanting their money back from their "over payments". 

No, I am thinking that they have someone that is all-knowing that has a naughty or nice list.  Yeh, that's right. The Jolley Ole Elf, himself, works at the IRS from January to the beginning of September. With the Holiday Season (not  politically correct to call it Christmas, anymore) starts in early September but Santa can't support himself and his entire entourage on just four months of employment. Seriously, between Mrs. Clause, the minions of elves, and those reindeer the food cost alone are keeping the once (past tense) jolly guy up at night.

OK now that we have established that you MUST get your tax filing in on time but don't expect a refund anytime soon let's move on to the next problem that I see.

Now some of you might not be too concerned about FEMA workers. (Should I be checking to make sure that you all know that FEMA is the Federal Emergency Management Agency??) I, on the other hand, have had to deal with FEMA.  I don't find them particularly helpful when they are actually at work so I suspect when they are on furlough it might be even more frustrating.  Again, for those of you that might not get the connection of why one has to deal with FEMA, this is the time of year that FEMA workers are inundated with claims.  Flood season is just now getting a nice start. The season that makes such a big hit here is shown on the map below.  This is where I live.

As usual I will try to make this easy to follow along. The caller will be in blue and the FEMA recorder will be in red

A person in the heartland calling FEMA  RRRNNNGGG  Hello, You have reached the regional office of the Federal Emergency Management Agency. We are unavailable as the US government is closed.  Please, leave us a message and we will return you call at some unspecified time in the future  BBBBEEEPPP

caller...Hey, FEMA, I have a problem here.  All those heavy snowfalls up north are melting and I am needing some of the $18,365.43,  that I have paid to you for my flood insurance, back.  How do I put in a claim? Might I add this needs to happen quickly.  Now, as a matter of fact, would be none to soon.  (line beeps and disconnects)

RRRNNNGG  You have reached FEMA........

caller...Sorry, as I was saying before we were cut off.  I used to live two blocks to the west of the Mississippi River at 3458 W. Main St., Dinkyville, Iowa but in the last 24 hours, that all changed.  Our new address is somewhere in the middle of the river, Dinkyville, Iowa.  Could you have someone call as soon as humanly possible to tell me how I can get a claim started  (line beeps and disconnects)

RRRNNNGGGG....You have reached FEMA

caller...OK, now I have figured out that your recorder is only good for about a minute, so I am talking really fast.  My husband and I are not strong swimmers. We recognize the health benefits of water aerobics and all but we have been treading water for several hours now and it is losing its appeal. Also, while the kids look really cute in their little orange water wings, they seem to be less cheerful than they were earlier. (bbeeep, line disconnects)

RRRRNNNGGG You have reached FEMA

caller....One more cell phone number is (426) 746-5464. (easily remembered I AM SINKING)
If there is anyone in the guard...anyone...feel free to call us with the home number of anyone that can file a FEMA claim.  Expediency would be much appreciated. You do understand we are way,way past the UP TO OUR ASSES IN WATER.

Well, I guess we just have to sit back and wait to see if the people in Washington can find a way to play nice today and come to some sort of agreement.  In the mean time, I will be finishing up my tax forms.  I wouldn't want Santa to put me on the naughty list.

Why this video you ask?? I thought the words rolling in the deep in the lyrics made for a good tie in to flooding.

The Good for the Day...tricky question????  OK, I have one...I don't have to talk to a really rude FEMA worker today.

The Bad for the Day....all this divisiveness that has become so much the norm in our government

The Weird for the day....The interview with Donald Trump this morning on his bid to run for President. 
Maybe, I am the only one finding that weird.  His polling numbers are on the rise.

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