Sunday, August 19, 2012

Spitting in The Wind

I feel the need to put a prologue on my post today....yes...a clarification so there is no misunderstandings.
I rarely publicly** (** definition of publicly in this case is: shouting it from the rooftops or publishing it to the Internet.)  find fault with my husband....especially on my blog because, frankly he is a "pretty-perfect- kind-of-guy".  In the 41 years we have been married I can't think of hardly any MAJOR disputes. (all the little ones don't count...until sometime in the future when I am mad, then they count again) Truly, he is the kind of guy that when I have called him to tell him "Honey, I wrecked the car." the first words out of his mouth are  "Are you all right?"  Not once would he think to ask the condition of the car. THEN when he actually sees the damage, he will say "accidents happen".  This is just one of the gazillion reasons why he is a great husband.


Every year we have THE INCIDENT with the irrigation system in our yard.  This year was especially vulnerable for THE INCIDENT  as we are in the middle of a drought.

So for your entertainment and my amusement my saga begins:

Please note: Today the parts of Cheryl P. is being played by Scarlett O'Hara and the part of Hubby P. is being played by Rhett Butler.

Our story begins at our home ....yes, isn't it spectacular?...well except some brown spots that are distracting from the perfection of our  BEAUTIFUL  lawn.  Notice our rather exotic looking birds that are relaxing on our beautiful lawn.

While our heroine is pretty sure that these spots are actually "brown patch fungus" which is happening because we are living in the hell that is Kansas this year.  HOT + HUMIDITY = Crappy Lawn.  Hubby goes right for the "Where is the key?"

What ask.  This key.

No, this is NOT some odd looking IUD.  This is a key
that adjusts the rotors of the Hunter Irrigation system.

This is the key that adjusts the amount and spray pattern from the sprinkler head of a Hunter Irrigation System.  According to hubby the reason anything gets brown is the lack of water.  I have my doubts as we single handedly have reduced the level of the  Mississippi River by 6 inches with our watering habits.

So I say......Oh NO! Please, NO!!!! Please don't take the key?

Please...don't take the key. How about we read the instructions for a refresher course?

In all fairness to Rhett, I mean Hubby, the Hunter people are diabolical.  Oh they make it easy enough to change the radius on their PGP rotors but just try changing the distance of the water or the spray arc.
Not going to happen without consequences. Of course, I am at this point begging...pleading..hoping that he has  learned something from historical reference.    (That  reference being.... we go through this every year.)

Still Rhett is not deterred.

OK, Maybe...just maybe ....this is a bit of dramatic license.

Feel free to go get a Diet Coke from the lobby, I'll wait for you to come back
before continuing my story.

OK, maybe, just maybe..... it looked more like this.

Would this be the appropriate time to say "I told you so."  Probably not as he wouldn't do that to me.  Still it's very tempting.

Should I or shouldn't I?

We do our bit every year  to support our local Hunter irrigation specialist  by paying someone to come and replace the broken sprinkler head. 

So ends the cautionary tale of "Don't touch the key!"


Jayne said...

I love the pictures and commentary you put together here, Cheryl. What a fun way to tell such a tale. Next year remember to say, "Key? What key?"

Cheryl P. said...

I am not sure playing dumb would save me. He probably would start going through drawers until he found one. I think I am going to have to enroll in Hunter's school of Irrigation (or however these people learn to adjust without destroying their crappy sprinkler heads ) to become a master at adjusting these things.

The Husband!!!!!! said...

As Rhett said.... "I'm not asking you to forgive me. I'll never understand or forgive myself. And if a bullet gets me, so help me, I'll laugh at myself for being an idiot

Cheryl P. said... long did it take you to find an appropriate Rhett quote? Aren't you supposed to be working in some small town in the middle of nowhere tonight? No forgiveness necessary. I think we are pretty even-steven on idiotic moves. There better not be any bullets flying around you. I am not above going after your employer.

Chubby Chatterbox said...

Fun post. Funny and clever.

Cheryl P. said...

Why thank you, Chatterbox. We can assume that Clark Gable and Vivien Leigh are spinning in their graves today.

Crack You Whip said...

This was very creative! Loved it!

We have had rain almost every day for two months. I am tempted to build an ark.

Cheryl P. said...

Thank you, Tracie. Once you get that ark built be careful...if you get anywhere close to the Midwest you will be dry docked. I might need to visit you before too much longer as I can barely remember what rain looks or feels like.

L.C. Griffith said...

What is it with men not taking advice from women when it comes to lawns? Hello! I mean really, my husband is the same way, although he pays someone to take care of it...but still. Do you suppose they could show equal concern for stains on the carper? I didn't think so;)

L.C. Griffith said...


Cheryl P. said...

Oddly enough, my husband is all about things looking nice. If there would be spots on the carpet that didn't disappear upon cleaning we would be recarpeting. He likes everything looking uber-nice. You might think this would be annoying but it totally works for me. He's great at keeping everything all neat and tidy around him.

We, too pay someone to take care of the lawn which is why I was going nuts about him attempting to fix the sprinkler head that he thought was not "hitting" right.