Friday, February 15, 2013

And The Award Goes To

For those of you that aren't regular readers, here at The Art of Being Conflicted, our two reporters look for the "odd or weird" little news stories that you might of missed due to the over-reporting of the BIG stories. Every Friday, Reporter Cheryl P. and Crabby Pants try to find a little something unusual in the news.

Upon occasion, we give out awards here at TAOBC for the more inventive creative stories that make our Friday post.

The Westminster Dog Show, also, gave out an award this week to a little cutie named Banana Joe.

Drinking, Yes...Thinking, No

According to police, April Cassidy Velez drove to the Hamden Police Department last Saturday to bail out her husband.  Her husband, Edwin, had been arrested earlier in the day for Driving Under the Influence.

Unfortunately, for April she showed up at the station intoxicated.  Upon further checking, the police found that she had parked her pickup in a snow drift in the parking lot that was marked "for police vehicles only". The truck had a number of empty beer cans in it, as well as a full six pack.

She was arrested. for driving while intoxicated.  Both her and her husband will be back in court later this month.

The husband and wife that drink together get to go to the clink together.

Double Win

A police officer in Carol Stream, Illinois who responded to  a routine burglary call found out it wouldn't be all that  "routine".   WMAQ-TV reported that an officer sent to investigate a burglary at a medical office lost his gun.  The magnetic force of an MRI machine pulled the gun away from him.

Police  backup was called to help secure the building and try to retrieve the firearm.  Neither the gun nor the burglar were apprehended.  The manufacturer of the machine had to be called to try to retrieve the gun.

 Officer calling in:  "Please send backup, my gun has been stolen.  How?'s the funny part."

Cats and Dogs

Lisa isn't a girl you want to mess with
A domestic violence call took a strange turn on Monday in Florida.  According to a police report, Lisa Fink attacked her live-in boyfriend when he refused to hand over some food stamps. The boyfriend tried to shield himself with a chair but was still stabbed in the face and neck several times.  Luckily a roommate came home and intervened. He grabbed the knives and called the cops.

Lisa went on the run. Police using dogs tracked her to  a shed where she was hiding under a blanket.  Fearing she might be in possession of a weapon, they sent Bolt, a K9 officer in to root her out.  Lisa, however, tossed a cat into Bolt's face. A second dog took up Bolt's fight while he was dealing with the cat and Lisa was taken down.

 Bolt has multiple scratches to his snout. Lisa is facing multiple charges.including: attempted first degree murder, aggravated battery, battery of a law enforcement officer with a deadly weapon (is that the cat?), injuring a K9 officer (that is definitely the cat), and 5 counts of resisting arrest.

For all the people that say cats serve no are wrong!!

Was That Your Fanny Ringing?

Over the course of the last couple of years, I have done a number of these stories of people smuggling things in various body parts and usually there is a clear reason why the perpetrator hid the items.   Oh, I am not saying that it was right or they weren't idiotic...I am just saying, you could kind of understand their motivation.

BUT (perhaps that is a word I best avoid), this week we have a prisoner in Welikada jail in Colombo, Sri Lanka who was hiding his cell phone in his rectum.

Now that in itself isn't unheard of.  I believe we have even had other examples here at TAOBC.  What makes this instance a bit different is twofold.

1.  The guy was caught because his butt started ringing.
2.  He had also hidden a hands-free headset up his hiny as well.

Seriously...what good is the hands-free head set going to do you?  AND unless there is a charger somewhere up in his business the whole effort is for naught.  But maybe there are other things hidden in his fanny pack.


Just Keepin' It Real Folks said...

I could totally understand if the prisoner had his phone on vibrate mode. Some people dig that shizz ya know?

Cheryl P. said...

That story confuses me. If it rings and he has to go on up there to retrieve it anyway...which means his hands are free what was his thinking about the head set? AND are other people's body parts large enough to house electronics??? I find this all very confusing.

lisleman said...

Carol Stream - that's not too far from me. Good thing the gun didn't go off.
As Americans do we have the right to bear cats?
I'm not going anywhere near the butt calling one.

Jo-Anne said...

Ok I hate it when I hit post and I am not finished writing a comment I had wanted to say many phone calls can be a pain in the bum but when the phone is ringing in the bum if it is vibrating does it cause a pain in the bum or make the owner of the bum feel all good

Debra She Who Seeks said...

If the police ever come to take me down, I am totally using my cat Her Royal Highness as a deadly weapon. Thanks for the tip!

momto8blog said...

love the drink wifes parking idea!

Jo-Anne said...

Ok love the cat being thrown at the dog.............the gun in the MRI is just funny would had been more funny if the gun went off and shot the copper or the theif or even if it went off and the bullet went flying around the yes I am strange............the phone up the bum is pretty nornal but I have heard of people but calling people but never here of someone recieveing a call in the

R D said...

Great post!

On the police story: perhaps she was also arrested for illegal use of a catapult?

On the Fanny story: "What happened to your phones?" "I rectum..."

Chubby Chatterbox said...

Did the MRI show the gun to be in good health?

Aleta said...

What the... in the rear? OMG! I've heard of butt dialing someone.. but EWWWWW....

Ok, Go Cats *snort laugh*....

And hey, maybe all banks should have a hidden MRI's :)

Cheryl P. said...

Is your cat's name Her Royal Highness? I LOVE that!!! My Chantel should be named that. While I have never used either of my 2 cats to ward off the police, they probably would stand their distance after they saw Chantel growling and hissing.

Cheryl P. said...

Thanks...I have fun drawing my cartoons. I am glad someone is liking them.

Yeah, I totally agree with you Babs. I keep running across these stories with people using their orifices like shopping bags. How is that even possible???

Cheryl P. said...

Seems there have been a lot of odd stories coming out of northern Illinois as of late. Since that is where I was born and spent a lot of my childhood that might explain why I think like I do.

When I looked up that story about the MRI...they said there was another case in Pennsylvania where the same thing happened and the gun did fire.

Give it time and there will be a license requirement for cats...and it will cost. Great way to build up revenue.

I am disappointed you didn't have a pun for the butt-guy. I figured you would be the one to say that is taking butt dialing one step to far. Hahaha are the one with the witty use of words.

Cheryl P. said...

Funny that you would say about the gun firing...the article said there was a previous case that an MRI sucked in a gun and it did fire. No one was hurt but it discharged all the same.

Cheryl P. said...

I have done that as well...had a comment send before I was done.

I think it is funny to imagine what the prison guards said when they heard on of the prisoners butts ringing. I bet they were flipping coins to see who was going to have to deal with it.

Cheryl P. said...

I thought that was pretty funny as well that she parked IN a snow bank....better that than hitting a police car. Aren't there strange happenings in the world, Annmarie?

Cheryl P. said...

I sure if they thought of it, they add it to the charges. I bet when you injure a K9 officer you are not going to get off easy. (nor should you)
But, she looked seriously mean...don't you think?

I rectum...that is really funny...hilarious, in fact!

Cheryl P. said...

It probably showed excessive amount of lead...but the article didn't say.

(isn't your trip coming up soon??)

Cheryl P. said...

Too funny, Aleta!!! 2.5 days away from having a baby and you can still be funny. I don't remember exactly but I might of been crabby around that time. I am thinking positive thoughts for you these last couple of days and sending them your way.

Butt dialing and receiving calls as the case may be.

That is very clever about banks. They could just install huge magnets in the vestibules. . I guess the downside is that all the old people with prosthetic hips and knees might need to be scraped off the walls.

Riot Kitty said...

OUCH! Did they say WHY he had it there? I mean, was there also heroin in it?

This all cracked me up! I used to work with a police reporter who did a yearly "dumbest criminals" piece. One I'll never forget was about cops showing up after a neighbor with young children complained that a man was wandering around with the blinds open, buck naked. Cops came to his house and he denied doing the buff.

Cheryl P. said...

Hahah, I would think as long as he was packing for his extended stay, he should of put his heroin AND his phone in there.

This much I know...some people are nuts. One of the many jobs I have taken over the years was a 911 dispatcher. Lot's of people out there running around nekkked.

Cheryl P. said...

People with phones in private places can be a pain in the butt as well, it would seem. I was reading an article about how the next wave of cell phone will be a tiny implant in a persons ear. So then it will appear that people are just walking around talking to themselves. Won't that be fun **rolling my eyes**.

lisleman said...

but but but I'm stuck up here I can't

ravenjanedoh said...

People and their phones in public places; I find them to be a pain in the butt. Then you have the overachievers; they become a pain in their own butt.

Cheryl P. said...

Maybe that should be butt, butt, butt,

abeerfortheshower said...

Next time I walk down a bad street at night, forget the mace and the rape whistle. I'm bringing my cat with me. No hoodlum wants to take a cat to the face.

Cheryl P. said...

True nuff...even half the honest people in the world would hate having a cat near them. I think maybe I should register my cats as weapons.

Cheryl P. said...

See there is a bright side to everything. If you look at it that way the timing was genius.

meleahrebeccah said...

I am totally burning in hell, and I'm okay with that, because I have never laughed so hard at the drunk wife, who showed up drunk, to the police station, to bail out her drunk husband. That is flippen hilarious to me.

Also, having an MRI machine steal the police officers gun = CLASSSSSSIC!

Oh Florida is *the state* that just keeps on giving priceless stories of full blown crazies.

How the hell does one even get a cell phone IN there? Nevermind. I really don't want to know.

Cheryl P. said...

Then we both will be burning in hell. I just think most people could find the humor in a drunk wife coming to bail out her drunk husband with a truck full of booze in the Police Vehicle lot.

Evidently this isn't the first case of MRIs latching onto guns. There really should be a sign on the door.

Florida...I worry for them. What if it is something in the water?

Agreed..we are much better off NOT knowing how that is possible.

meleahrebeccah said...

Florida is a whole state of Cray Cray. You can't PAY me to visit that hell hole!

Linda R. said...

First that is one angry looking cat. Second, I would not want to use that cell phone ever again. Ewwwww!

Cheryl P. said...

I thought that cat was kind of cute in a angry cat sort of way. Cute but glad he's someone elses. (he probably loves his people though)

EEEWWWW is right. Pity the person that had to retrieve it. There just isn't enough latex gloves and disinfectant to help ease the disgust factor on that one.