Following the Trend

The other day, my son and I were talking  about memes.  (Yes, the poor child seems to have a geek for a mom.)  We were talking about some of the  those various  words, "catch phrases", videos, posters...all manner of things that made their way into our collective consciousness.  Some of them have been more resilient than others and have actually become somewhat iconic.

What is it about certain phrases or ideas that plant themselves into our collective brain and cause us to want  to share and repeat them over and over?  Now that we have the ability via the Internet to spread our "cleverness" to the masses in just a matter of seconds it seems that each day brings a new "catch phrase" or some idea that everyone feels the need to hitch our reins to and ride that trend...until the next trendy idea comes along.  At which time will will quickly dismount and get on the new trend.

Definition according to the Urban Dictionary...gotta love the phrase "virus of the mind/"

It kind of makes me wonder how ideas spread so effectively prior to the Internet. How did the word "groovy" ever get in widespread use?   Were the words and images in the 1960's transferred by the media, by the music,  or by  advertisers?  Frankly, I don't remember how we all came to talk about "how cool and groovy" or "out of sight" things were....although I do remember thinking my brain would explode if one more person used the phrase "out of sight".

  
Thought Number One:  Conscious Uncoupling

Last week we have another new "catch phrase" in our lexicon and we can all thank Gwyneth Paltrow for getting the message out for us.  While Gwyneth, didn't come up with this bubble of brilliance, she posted it on her website, Goop, in a statement that her and her husband Chris Martin were separating...oh excuse me...they are Consciously Uncoupling.

The idea came from one of her frequent website contributors Dr. Habib Sadeghi and his wife Dr. Sherry Sami.   They have a lot to say on the subject.

A conscious uncoupling is the ability to understand that every irritation and argument [within a marriage] was a signal to look inside ourselves and identify a negative internal object that needed healing, "From this perspective, there are no bad guys, just two people," they say, expanding on the blame-free, "it's about people as individuals, not just the relationship" theory.

OK...some of that sound legit...no finger pointing, no blaming (unless, of course someone is to blame).

"Life is a spiritual exercise in evolving from an exoskeleton for support and survival to an endoskeleton. Think about it."

Oh, oh...now they have lost me!

"There's a scientific theory by Russian esotericist, Peter Ouspensky, that the creation of insects was a failed attempt by nature to evolve a higher form of consciousness.
 
How did insects get into this? I think we have crossed the line from new-agey to total bull****.

"Conscious uncoupling brings wholeness to the spirits of both people who choose to recognize each other as their teacher...If we can allow ourselves this gift, our exoskeleton of protection and imprisonment  will fall away and offer us the opportunity to begin constructing an endoskeleton, an internal cathedral, with spiritual trace minerals like self-love, self-acceptance, and self-forgiveness. "The misunderstandings involved in divorce also have much to do with the lack of intercourse between our own internal masculine and feminine energies.

 Maybe we should worry less about our internal energies having intercourse and worry more about who is having real intercourse and with whom.

Thought Number Two: Here comes the bandwagon.

I have been thinking a lot this week about why we ( I am including myself here) follow trends.  The "conscious uncoupling" will not be one of the trends I intend to participate in.  I am just not all that "new age-y" and still am pretty secure  in my belief that long term relationships can last a lifetime. 

 I, however, am not immune to following trends and often find it troubling to be one of the lemmings. This became especially true this week as I went to the "big company who shall remain nameless" to get the next generation of my iPhone.  (OK you iPhone haters...mock and berate me..but let's stop short of calling me an i-hole)

After installing the latest update on my  4S to the OIS 7 operating system.... it went "funky"  That is a technical term for "not working worth a damn."  So hubby and I both went to the cellular store thinking we would qualify for a discounted iPhone 5s because we were out of our contract period.   NOPE..there are no longer upgrades.  You buy your plan by the amount of media you need then you pay a fee to use a phone on that plan.  Oh..and if you want a phone you pay retail but they add it in  monthly installments to your bill. According to them, they are doing you a big favor. 

When I suggested that there wasn't a chance in hell that I would pop for $40.00 a month for 18 months to get a cell phone he gave me a number of reasons why "everyone else" thinks this is a really slick idea. At which point, my cynical side wanted to jump out of my skin and beat the man about the head...instead I went to plan B. 

Plan B is "Big Box wholesale club store.  Yes, I went elsewhere and bought the phone outright and had it activated to my "big cellular company" account.

I was thinking that I had averted a monetary crisis until I got my bill from the "big cellular company that shall remain nameless".  Turns out they didn't charge me the $40.00 per month for the next 18 months but the bill was chock full of  other surprises... all with $$$$ attached.  The phrase "one time charge" might not have had  the pacifying effect that the company hopes that phrase imparts.  GGGRRR

While I may participate in herd mentality and often follow trends...I do recognize this in itself is part of the meme  of  "This is a First World Problem". 


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Bored Times a Gazillion

I suspect this might turn into several posts as I am pretty sure most of you aren't up for a manifesto on the subject of what will go down in history as the record breaker of all boring weekends.

If there was a way to quantify boredom, my weekend would be in the next volume of the Guinness Book of World Records.

OK, so all of you are out there saying "If you are so bored, why didn't you just do something?" 

"Do you people not get the very nature of boredom...nothing sounds fun or appealing when you are mind-numbingly bored!"  Even the youngest of children know this when they whine,  "I'm BORED."
Nothing...I repeat...NOTHING..is going to sound fun.


So...let's start with REASONS for my extreme boredom.


A.  Husband is now on his 11th week out of town.  I have made enough trips to Nebraska that I see no advantage of being bored there as compared to here...well short of seeing my sweet husband..but he is there working, after all....and my cell phone and computer hardly work there...so there is that.

B.  It is so witheringly hot...... it has all but sapped the life's blood out of me.  Now...before all of you people that live in places that are routinely hot start judging me for being a whiner...let's just clarify a few points. 

•   Most of you that live in places that are routinely over 100 degrees in the summer are (more)  prepared for it.  You have zoned air conditioners.  You have grass that is equipped to survive the heat. You get a break in the winter by enjoying beautifully  mild, "never-need-a-parka-and-snow-boots-lucky-us-we-aren't-freezing-our-asses-off" kind of winters.  I, on the other hand,  live in Kansas and we are currently in the middle of a drought.  None of those things I just mentioned above apply to us. It has been over a hundred for a week or so but seems much longer...let's not split hairs here.... with humidity over 70% lets just call it infinitesimally long.  AND there is no end in sight!

• I will not get a break in the winter.  I will be shoveling 20-40 inches of snow and freezing my ass off so, I really don't appreciate Mother Nature double dipping her extreme weather patterns on the middle part of the U.S. BUT...I will not be sending another letter to Mother Nature relaying my concerns, as the previous three caused me a great deal of angst and expense.  For you, my  more recent readers, this is a precautionary warning.  Mother Nature doesn't take kindly to complaint letters.  (for a review you can click back to read  my two latest letters Were You Not Listening and Now That's Just Playing Dirty)

C.   If the heat wasn't enough to keep me home, the crowds of people and traffic that have resulted from the free Blake Shelton concert on the mall parking lot and the casting call for America's Biggest Loser being in town has my desire to fight the the crowds at  about 0%.


Now in my attempt to keep busy on a ...did I mention the 105 degree temperature?...hot day without my husband to hang around with and my kids at the lake...here are just a couple of the things I have done.

• Cleaned an already clean house
• Load some new fonts onto my computer, that you will never get to see as Blogger let's me choose from about 7 or something.
• Read..Currently reading Let's Pretend This Never Happened by Jenny Lawson
• Watch TV ....one notable show that I will talk about in a different post
• Work on my garden in an effort to resuscitate it. It's currently in ICU and not expected to live.

Oh and there is this...As I was killing an inordinate amount of time just cruising down the Information Highway (old school for Internet, kiddies)...I came upon a new (to me) blog that is going to have a very negative influence on me...at least for wasting time.  An older post on  A Beer for the Shower was talking about cell phone music.  No...not downloading music to a cell phone but PLAYING music on a cell phone.

 Which brings me to a bit of time spent perfecting Happy Birthday on my IPhone keyboard. Seems I came across this info just in time as  most my family members having August birthdays. I need this to be spot-on.

For those of you that aren't already proficient at playing music on your cell  phone keyboards, let me point out to you "non-smart phone users"...you do understand I am saying your phone is non-smart...I am sure you are a genius...,  that your older phone is far superior for playing keyboard music on. This can be your reason for not getting with the current technology aka a smart phone.

In all fairness, maybe Android phones are superior to Apple in the capacity of playing Happy Birthday.  As I have an IPhone, I can  tell you that a couple of notes could be better. The number 9 I think should be a sharp, but I could be wrong. Anyway,  as I was saying, it is really hard to make the music sound right on an Iphone. 

I have every confidence in your musical cell phone ability, no matter what your instrument (cell phone) is. Are we ready ???? Play...

112163 
112196
11# 9632
## 9696

Did that sound like Happy Birthday??? If it didn't...you didn't do it right.

Try..Frere Jacques...you just can't fail on this one...

1231 1231
369 369
9# 9631
9# 9631
191 191

Really, if that doesn't work for you...just load the app Tiny Piano...It's free.

OR if you have an old school phone try this...I know all of you are going to want to dig out a Nokia phone.









I will stop for now, and go water my "soon to be deceased" plants.  I have some other exciting activities to share with you later.

You Might Be Surprised

Would you be surprised if I told you that the word "unlimited" means "you have definite limits and you need to watch out closely to keep within those limits".   That's not what you thought it meant??? As it happens, until last Friday, I too, was confused.  I am clear on the new and improved definition of "unlimited".  So as a PSA, let me clear things up for you as well.

A little side note: Did I happen to mention that Witchy Cheryl is back and undergoing some type of transformation?  I have noticed that my witchy persona turns more green as I get more aggravated IE more witchy.

The reason I bring up Witchy Cheryl is that last Friday, I got a text message from my cellular service provider.  (I use the term "service" loosely, in this scenario) and it brought out the worst in my alter ego.

The text said:  You have currently used 4 times your allotment of roaming.  You need to call us IMMEDIATELY, to resolve this.  (something to the effect..1-800-URN-TRBL)

HUH???? Roaming???? Allotment?????

I have no roaming constraints (or so I thought) from the company I have been doing business with for the past 16 years. I hesitate to name them at this point, but I have mentioned them plenty of other times, so I am pretty sure  you can figure it out, if you would be so inclined. This particular company offers an "UNLIMITED ONE RATE PLAN".   On top of the "unlimited one rate plan" (which refers to cellular phone calls) I also have "unlimited media" and "unlimited texting".  All of this "no need to ever worry because it is unlimited" usage comes with a price.   $$$$$$....indeed a hefty price that we have been paying  for quite a long time. 

So...imagine my surprise that I went over my allotment of "unlimited".


This little debacle started when  I was coming out of the gym, and I noticed the offending text. Needless to say, I drove directly to the store where I bought my latest incarnation of the IPhone (hint, hint) and asked Stuart,  the guy that hubby and I bought our phones from, "Hey, how is it possible that I am 4 times over my allotment??? AND .... How much is this going to cost me???? 

Stuart looked puzzled.  Partly, I suppose because of my deepening green coloring and partly because he too thought "unlimited" meant "unlimited".  (poor delusional Stuart) So, Stuart tells me that I have a one rate plan and as far as he knows they can't charge me but he thinks to be on the safe side I had better call the 1-800 number that was contained in the text message.

Another surprising twist to this...last week when all my service  (phones, Internet, and TV) was on the fritz, I had to wait my turn for about 30 minutes each time on the dozen or so calls that it took to get the problem resolved.  Now that I am hogging media bytes, I go right to the front of the line. 

I explain to the CSR that I was under the impression that the "unlimited one rate  plan" meant I could use it unlimitedly.   That is not the case. As it happens, we haven't abused the number of phone calls or the number of text messages.  We have, however, been abusing the "connecting or trying to connect to the Internet".   Because, hubby is working in  the dead zone of Nebraska (remember last week I was talking about having "next to no" connection to service in Nebraska) he is using the tower of another company (well...to be totally accurate on that point..hubby is TRYING to use the tower of another company) So, it is hubby that is racking up media useage because his smartphone has a Facebook app that is constantly trying to update. Whether it is successful isn't the point.  It is TRYING all  the time.  So CRS person says, turn off the apps, ESPECIALLY FACEBOOK,  set the fetch setting to manual, and turn the WIFI on so that if we are brazen enough to try to use the Internet on our phones in Nebraska, we had better be in a hot spot to latch on to someone else's server.  Turning off the phone isn't the answer, in case you are wondering.  The apps work even when the phone is off.

Also, it turns out that because they can't charge us for our excessive use, they have told us that we need to make the aforementioned changes and if not...they will cancel us. 

REEEEAAAALLYYY....We have been paying them on time every month for 16 years....mega dollars a month and because hubby is working in a state that they don't have coverage, they are threatening us with suspension or cancellation.  From what I understood we have 30 days to repent and mend our ways.

The one question, I forgot to ask CRS person is "if they cancel us...is there a cancellation fee????"  I know if I cancel them it is $325.00 per phone (2 phones in our case)  but if they cancel us do we get a fee from them for $650.00. 

As for me not having their company name splashed all over this post.....I noticed when I was talking to the CRS person, they seem to know a lot about our Internet usage.  I probably don't want to tick them off any more than I already have by them seeing me bitch about their company.  (although, maybe another person reading my blog would be a good thing)

 Currently they are just mad because we have been using our smart phones (now that the apps are turned off they technically they are dumb phones) to access the Internet.  I better not give them additional reasons to text me.  But of course, in Nebraska, I probably wouldn't receive it.