Timing is Everything

Today is an auspicious day here at TAOBC.  This post is #400.  Yep, after 400 posts you would think I would have gotten blog writing down down to a science, wouldn't you?   You would be wrong.

Case in point, you might of noticed the absence of my Friday Weird news roundup last week.  I actually had some things going on that didn't allow me to sit and while away (waste) hours at the computer. I hear you asking "what would be more important than blogging?"  Here's what happened.


Thought Number One....Fun (**sarcasm**) Things Happen When Husbands Are Out of Town

Every "wife of a traveling man" will agree with me that if their husband travels extensively,  these two things will happen.

1.  When they are IN town, life will hum along easy-breezy and hubby will secretly wonder what you do with your time. (Actually there are a few that have been known to actually say out loud, "Don't you ever get bored?"  Some of those men learned that question isn't met with a favorable response.)

Hubby is in Paris so I can't blame him.

2.  BUT...when husbands are OUT of town, something BIG will break, someone will get sick or a natural disaster will strike. Sometimes all three will happen simultaneously...this is more likely if the traveling  husband is not able to be reached by phone.

 As far as last week goes and the reason for the missing post is....

Wait....make that  the  REASONS  for the missing post are:

A. Poor time management
B. Lack of inspiration
C. Preparing for my trip to Europe
D. Leaves plaguing me with their messy and time consuming cleanup
E.  Mother Nature is a mother-sumthin-sumthin
F.  All of the Above

Some of you might remember a post I did quite awhile ago called  Spitting in the Wind  [link]  in which my darling husband attempted to repair a sprinkler head in our irrigation system which resulted in an emergency call to the company that installed it. (sorry, honey, but those little keys that come with Hunter irrigation systems are Kryptonite to your Superman ...you know it, I know it and the Hunter repair guys know it.)

While my house isn't exactly Tara, the water spout is pretty accurate.

  Luckily for him but unluckily for me, the very same sprinkler system, didn't respond favorably to the unseasonably cold temperatures that went from 53 degrees Fahrenheit to 17 degrees  in the time span of less than 24 hours. I didn't get "wind" of this until I was picking up my grandson from school and my cell phone rang.  A very concerned neighbor wondered if I was home.   WELL...let me just say IF I was home, I might of noticed the geyser in the front yard that was shooting higher than the second story gable of my house.  What to do?  It's past 5 PM so the irrigation company is closed and the city water department is closed and my neighbors are watching the equivalent of  Old Faithful. The big difference is my geyser is  causing a frozen mess.

Did I happen to mention that just a few days prior to the big break, I had a new patio poured and there was new sod put in?  Of course, because trying to figure out how to shut off an irrigation valve isn't stressful enough without adding the component of  freezing a yard of  freshly laid  fescue sod.

Never fear, I made my way home to a crowd of onlookers that were audibly "oohing and ahhing" over how pretty iced trees look and inaudibly thanking their lucky stars it was my house and not theirs.

I paged an emergency number to both the city and the irrigation company and in slightly less than two hours, I got a response. I might mention here that two hours with two little boys watching the pretty water show along with a group of  "plumbing-challenged"  neighbors feels more like an eternity.

BTW...I don't fault either company for a slow response,  as there were irrigation system backflow valves all over town exploding. This freezing temperatures are unheard of  for this time of year and no one had winterized their irrigation systems. To enforce the lesson to take care of that earlier next year,  the city guy did mention, that I am probably going to be getting a hell of a water bill.  Evidently geysers go through a lot of water.

Thought Number Two:   Where to Go From Here

So, anyway...those were some of my excuses reasons for the Friday post being MIA.

On the occasion of this 400th post,  I just wanted to  say to all my readers how appreciative I am of you.  I know a lot of you have been here from the beginning and endured the "learning as I go" process that went with TAOBC.  You were here with inspiration and support even when the reader count didn't warrant me to continue.  I thank you for you readership and comments.  Both of those things make me very happy.

Also, a big THANK YOU to the bloggers that have always been supportive of me and have become good friends. (This is especially true of the Blogdumps group that have been here from the very first months of TAOBC.)

AND to some of the newest blog readers and blog writers that have more recently connected with me (or is it Crabby Pants that you are reaching out to?)  I am creatively renewed when I see new people visiting.

As for the future of The Art of Being Conflicted...I hate to say it but for the next month or so, my posts may be scattered and irregular.    Seems a bit disingenuous on my part to thank you for you loyal readership and then tell you that I am probably going to be sporadic in my writing for awhile...just know that I am terribly conflicted about that.

Fair warning...

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Touchy, Touchy, Touchy

Earlier this week, I was reading a blog that had a post about Maria Kang.  After that I happened to see several interviews on various entertainment/news shows questioning her about her latest comments on her Facebook page.  I am sure many of you are past wanting to hear another word on a year old brouhaha concerning the fit versus non-fit firestorm she created.  I, on the other hand, can't seem to get past how people continue to react to her. 

For those of you that haven't been following this story...let me catch you up to speed. Maria Kang is a 32 year old mom of three that has a blog, Mariakang.com that promotes fitness. Late last year she started a social media frenzy when  she put up her picture in  skimpy workout gear with the "What's Your Excuse?" caption emblazoned above her and her three cutie-pie sons.

You would of sworn she personally whacked each and every unfit person in existence with a stick that said. "You're a slob!" Yes,  she started a sh** storm of controversy.

On  Maria's Facebook page nearly THIRTY-SIX  THOUSAND comments ensued and a portion of them were angry.  Of, course, there are those that endorsed her for being pro-fitness and praised her for her healthy lifestyle. (Note: the comments on her FB page seem to be friendlier than the ones on blogs or news venues...guess the writers felt safer to be nasty when the site wasn't linked directly to her.)

The more interesting of the comments continued to come in by the thousands.  They appeared on blogs, newsvines, websites and were Facebooked, tweeted and retweeted. Even on the CNN website more than 6, 724 people had something to say about the article. Fit Mom Brings Out The Bullies. 

Thought Number One:  Why Are So Many People So Angry?

After a year and thousands of comments, Maria is back in the news.  In response to being called among other things: vain, self-absorbed, bitchy, and narcissistic, ..... as well as.... a  horrible mother, an attention whore, a slut and a fat-shamer, she issued an apology of sorts on her web site to those that she might of offended with the "What's Your Excuse" line.

I've been getting an influx of new followers, emails and comments (on my profile pic) recently. Some saying I'm a bully, I'm fat-shaming and I need to apologize for the hurt I've caused women. I get it. SO here's my First and Final Apology:

I'm sorry you took an image and resonated with it in such a negative way. I won't go into details that I struggled with my genetics, had an eating disorder, work full time owning two business', have no nanny, am not naturally skinny and do not work as a personal trainer. I won't even mention how I didn't give into cravings for ice cream, french fries or chocolate while pregnant or use my growing belly as an excuse to be inactive.

What I WILL say is this. What you interpret is not MY fault. It's Yours. The first step in owning your life, your body and your destiny is to OWN the thoughts that come out of your own head. I didn't create them. You created them. So if you want to continue 'hating' this image, get used to hating many other things for the rest of your life. You can either blame, complain or obtain a new level of thought by challenging the negative words that come out of your own brain.

With that said, obesity and those who struggle with health-related diseases is literally a 'bigger' issue than this photo. Maybe it's time we stop tip-toeing around people's feelings and get to the point. So What's Your Excuse? - Maria Kang

This week, Maria has been on a number of news and entertainment shows being interviewed about both the original picture as well as what many deem an insincere apology.   On her blog, Maria, stated " I didn’t know I would be featured on Good Morning America,  Inside Edition  or defending myself on the  Today Show. I never imagined talking to hard news stations like CNN,  Fox News,  Geraldo Rivera or  Megyn Kelly about the impact this single photo sparked across the globe. I wasn’t prepared for every past and present action taken to be analyzed and criticized by the media.

So here are my thoughts on it.....

I don't understand the venomous comments  being dispersed by  both men and women.  Even on the Today Show the anchors took pot shots at her.

  Hoda Kotb said, "I think there are lots of examples of people that look great, but there's something about the tone, and showing the body, that grosses me out."

She's far from alone:

 Facebook commenter Shaunalee Brown-Chavez summed her thoughts up with what many have expressed about the photo, writing:   I think this picture and the presentation along with the caption was off putting and upsetting. There are thousands of other ways to show off a fit body without wearing a bra and underwear for the nation to see. Secondly, "excuses" come in every shape and size. I think for most women it's about priorities, not excuses! My kids are my first priority. If what you say is true you are a very busy working mom with no nanny. Where are your kids while your spending all your free time working on you? Finally, you don't have a daughter. I think if you did your message would surely be a different one. Would you want someone telling her she had no excuse for looking a certain way? What if she didn't look like you, and some woman made her feel bad about it? I'm sure you would change your tune. Your apology is a joke and as worthless to women as your initial post. Put some clothes on and spend some time with your children.

Here's my thoughts:

Sure she put herself out there to be noticed. She is peddling fitness at her blog and she is her own best example that her methods get results. Does she seek exposure? Sure she does, She is promoting herself,  her fitness products and ideas. Had this been Jillian Micheal's website we would see the same "no excuses" approach. These women look great and can promote themselves and their ideas about fitness using their sculpted bodies to validate their approach.

Keep in mind,  that Maria runs a not-for-profit company for fitness and does fitness modeling. This is, at least in part,  her career. 


If Maria was an artist and had a blog showing off all of her paintings, or if she was a writer that was writing novels ...would people jump to the conclusion she was neglecting her kids in those pursuits? (She says she works out about 30-60 minutes a day...so painting or writing might take at least an equal amount of time.)
What's with all the name calling  and aspersions being tossed about to readily?  How do people come to the place that they are comfortable with words like bad mom, narcissistic, fat-shamer, bitch, self-absorbed  or vain.  Really? This is over one picture with one caption.  Aren't some of the name callers being a bit presumptuous in assuming any of their adjectives actually apply to Maria?

I, for one, admire that she has that type of discipline. Good for her. I am a fit person that will never have a body that looks like that.

BUT.... If I don't measure up and I am OK with where I am...good for me.

AND ..... If I am not happy with me, tearing her down isn't the solution.






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Passing the Blame

Many of you that have been following me for awhile, know that every morning at 6:00 AM, I walk here in Kansas City with a friend who lives in Dallas, TX.  Yes, with the aid of modern technology in the form of a
Bluetooth earpiece that has wind reduction capabilities, we can walk 5 miles together while simultaneously solving the world's problems.

This morning she was telling me about a conversation she heard at work where a young (ish) girl was saying that she totaled her car because of the size of the Sonic cup her soft drink was in.  According to the co-worker's account of the accident, the careless driver in front of her stopped suddenly.  Co-worker said she would of avoided hitting  the car had it not been for the Route 44 Sonic drink flying out of the cup holder. In her effort to save the drink or keep the soda flood at bay (take your pick which she was trying for) she let up on the brake and smashed into the car.

That wasn't even the end of the story.  Co-worker girl said that she had moved back home after a divorce and really was fine with the car being totaled.  It turns out that the insurance settlement paid off the loan with a bit of money to spare.  She figured she could use her parents' car, thus not having a car payment.  WIN, WIN!!!

Which brings up the subject of today's post.

Thought Number One :  RATIONALIZING 

(according to Wikipedia)
 In psychology and logic, rationalization (also known as making excuses is an unconscious defense mechanism in which perceived controversial behaviors or feelings are logically justified and explained in a rational or logical manner in order to avoid any true explanation, and are made consciously tolerable – or even admirable and superior – by plausible means.

HHHMMM...I am not sure that I think the word unconscious needs to be involved. Besides, don't they mean subconscious.  Would we even be making excuses if we were unconscious?? But I digress... I think many of us that have an extreme talent for justifying our behavior and we are very conscious while we make our excuses.

 Dare, I say that I think our family has a genetic ability to find a positive spin on just about anything we want to justify.  I come from a long line of people with this talent. Then, to really make sure that our gene pool remained pure, I married a guy that was equally great at rationalizing.

Crabby Pants with her 1st cousin, Fancy Pants

Yep, people in my family can call themselves "big boned" instead of fat and eat large quantities  of ice cream saying it's a good source of calcium AND ...our very best example of rationalizing comes into play often and regularly.

It was a DEAL!

(yes, you know who you are!)

Thought Number Two: Not a One Trick Pony

Our little tribe isn't just about being able to spin anything that could be perceived negative into something that is substantive positive, we also have a lock on being able to put off anything to a later date.

Yes, ...we train our young ones early that everything can wait.

Yes, Grandson #2 now sports the phrase "maybe next Saturday", no matter what the request is.  Our gene pool remains strong.





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