Tuesday, August 20, 2013

Passing the Blame

Many of you that have been following me for awhile, know that every morning at 6:00 AM, I walk here in Kansas City with a friend who lives in Dallas, TX.  Yes, with the aid of modern technology in the form of a
Bluetooth earpiece that has wind reduction capabilities, we can walk 5 miles together while simultaneously solving the world's problems.

This morning she was telling me about a conversation she heard at work where a young (ish) girl was saying that she totaled her car because of the size of the Sonic cup her soft drink was in.  According to the co-worker's account of the accident, the careless driver in front of her stopped suddenly.  Co-worker said she would of avoided hitting  the car had it not been for the Route 44 Sonic drink flying out of the cup holder. In her effort to save the drink or keep the soda flood at bay (take your pick which she was trying for) she let up on the brake and smashed into the car.

That wasn't even the end of the story.  Co-worker girl said that she had moved back home after a divorce and really was fine with the car being totaled.  It turns out that the insurance settlement paid off the loan with a bit of money to spare.  She figured she could use her parents' car, thus not having a car payment.  WIN, WIN!!!

Which brings up the subject of today's post.

Thought Number One :  RATIONALIZING 

(according to Wikipedia)
 In psychology and logic, rationalization (also known as making excuses is an unconscious defense mechanism in which perceived controversial behaviors or feelings are logically justified and explained in a rational or logical manner in order to avoid any true explanation, and are made consciously tolerable – or even admirable and superior – by plausible means.

HHHMMM...I am not sure that I think the word unconscious needs to be involved. Besides, don't they mean subconscious.  Would we even be making excuses if we were unconscious?? But I digress... I think many of us that have an extreme talent for justifying our behavior and we are very conscious while we make our excuses.

 Dare, I say that I think our family has a genetic ability to find a positive spin on just about anything we want to justify.  I come from a long line of people with this talent. Then, to really make sure that our gene pool remained pure, I married a guy that was equally great at rationalizing.

Crabby Pants with her 1st cousin, Fancy Pants
Yep, people in my family can call themselves "big boned" instead of fat and eat large quantities  of ice cream saying it's a good source of calcium AND ...our very best example of rationalizing comes into play often and regularly.

It was a DEAL!

(yes, you know who you are!)

Thought Number Two: Not a One Trick Pony

Our little tribe isn't just about being able to spin anything that could be perceived negative into something that is substantive positive, we also have a lock on being able to put off anything to a later date.

Yes, ...we train our young ones early that everything can wait.

Yes, Grandson #2 now sports the phrase "maybe next Saturday", no matter what the request is.  Our gene pool remains strong.

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Chubby Chatterbox said...

Everything is a "deal" isn't it? I love when retailers tell you how much you'll save if you give them all your money.

Cheryl P. said...

Yes, many an item has made it's way home via hubby. He likes shopping as opposed to me who HATES it. No bargain is beyond the reach of his credit card. Sometimes it really is a deal that I love...sometimes not so much.

Debra She Who Seeks said...

"Maybe next Saturday" is now going to become part of my standard repertoire. Thanks!

Jo-Anne said...

I like the "maybe next Saturday" saying, in this family we have a habit of saying " I will get to it" because we hate to commit to doing something at a certain time..............also we have a habit of saying " I know what I said and I stand by it" when we say something silly.............

Cheryl P. said...

I think it might come in handy. G-boy #2 is used to being told things will happen on Saturday because that is not a day that mommy and daddy work.,,,therefore fun things happen. Now Saturday seems to be the day to do everything.

Cheryl P. said...

That "will get to it" line has been used around here as well. We haven't used the "I know what I said and stand by it" but that line is really funny.

Agent 54 said...

When I'm unconscious all I can do is snore and fart (yes, at the same time).

I have explained to my wife 728,000 times that you don't save money buying stuff.

You save money by depositing it in a bank.

Fancy Pants looks good in Purple.

Wolfbernz said...

Hi Cheryl,

When my boys were little I used the phrase "I'll get around to it" I didn't realize I said it so often u til one of them came home from a school trip with a " round tu-it" a round coin stamp with tu-it. Lol

I try not to procrastinate but sometimes there's so much to do everything gets put off.


Trina said...

I rationalize a lot when it comes to eating out...I can go out to eat cause I skipped breakfast and lunch so all the money I spent on breakfast, lunch, and dinner can be spent on dinner!

I'm terrible about putting things off until later, later seems to take forever to get here and some this ne'er seem to get done :(

Happy Tuesday!

Wendy said...

Still smiling at that first picture. I love that interplay of words with you two!
I do wonder how that woman's parents are feeling about the daughter back home after a divorce and thinking their car is hers? Hum? Hum?
I had a friend once who was a spend-aholic, who always told me how much she saved at the stores at the sales, but since she couldn't stop from buying things, she was deep in debt. She hid things so her husband wouldn't know. What then was the point of owning it? Would that the money saved buying things one doesn't need also mean that 'saved' money was actually saved, as in a piggy bank. Alas, only in the figments of the minds of those who talk this way. Actually, what is sometimes stranger is someone saying that something is great because it was free (or near free). So eat these tasteless cookies or eat this awful sandwich because someone gave it for free. Free often enough means someone else didn't want it because it was just plain awful to have in the first place. Can't tell you how many 'free' items I have had to find ways to use in cooking, from a certain someone bringing it home, when I really wanted to throw it out. Thankfully, I have to deal with this less now and what I do get, raccoons are fed! As for procrastinating, so sorry but I am the type of person you likely hated at school, who had her school work done a week ahead. It wasn't inherited . Nor, I might add, has this oh so noble trait (uh, hum) passed onward in my genes to my lads. Why is that? I know, only bad things get passed on , like loving ice cream and being "big boned!"

Riot Kitty said...

Putting the pro in procrastination...Mr. RK has got to be related to you. On the plus side, he would never sacrifice a car for a soda.

Dexter Klemperer said...

That reminds me of the time I saw a nice bottle of wine in a store discounted from $98 to $45. The wife agreed that we should buy one. Then I explained we should actually buy all three bottles because that way we were getting one free. She disagreed but we bought them all anyway.

Rusty said...

oh bwa hahahah! aren't all families like this! We all have our moments of
adjusting the blame to someone other than who we see in the mirror everyday.

Cheryl P. said...

Ha, So you are a multi-tasker when you are unconscious...but I bet you don't try to rationalize your behavior.

Maybe it's just a matter of her needing to hear it 729,501 times before it sticks. I have the same thing here with my husband. It's not really a bargain if we don't need it, don't use it, and sell it for $1.00 at the next garage sale.

Fancy Pants sends her thanks. She is such a little diva and thrives on compliments.

Cheryl P. said...

I have seen items with that round-tu-it phrases. I think most people have a certain amount of stuff that has to be relegated to a later date. There's only so many things a person can do in any given day.

I try to get the must accomplish out of the way but anything that is negotiable like ironing the shirt in the bottom of the laundry basket....that sucka is goin' to sit there for awhile.

Cheryl P. said...

Isn't that the entire world now? Even in the deepest part of the recession, I heard friends saying it's cheaper to eat out. I don't know if it is or isn't but they were justifying why they didn't cook at home.

BUT...Do you skip meals??? How do you do that and work as hard as you do??? I rarely miss an entire meal. It may be light but it gets eaten.

I put off a lot of little minutia like cleaning out the refrigerator or weeding out old clothes from the closet. I am never late on things like paying bills. As with all things, I am a mixed bag of nuts...heavy on the nuts.

Cheryl P. said...

You always make my day when you mention liking my pictures, they are the most fun part (for me) putting my posts together.

The daughter brought home a child with her so probably the parents are loving having a grandchild in their home. (I would) But my friend said the young women feels very "entitled" and that her parents are there to take care of her.

I have several friends and relatives that are true hoarders. I am not throwing that word around lightly. They buy stuff and hide it and/or try to justify it. As I tend to go the other way...hate shopping and like things organized...I don't GET it.

I agree about the quality of some of what's free or even a bargain price. The neon colored blouse that looks like a clown should wear it and is now 90 percent off, still wouldn't be a bargain. As far as food items, as you were saying, I would be in a jam. I don't have raccoons.

I am the type of person that compartmentalizes. The thinks that have to get done, get done in a timely manner. This includes things that are self-imposed like housework. Every day the house is tidy before I go to bed. BUT if I hate doing something...hhhmmmmm like sewing buttons or defrosting the little spare refrigerator in the basement....a couple of weeks can't go by without a thought.

I would of like you in high school. I am sure of it. I loved school so my homework was always done.

Cheryl P. said...

Who knows? Maybe he is one of my distant cousins. I procrastinate on only the things I hate to do so maybe we are only half-cousins.

Thank god, Mr. RK wouldn't try to save the soda over trying to save the car but I suspect that girl might just be trying to pass the buck for following too close.

Cheryl P. said...

See...this is how my husband thinks too. Now the question is...was the wine good? Was it worth even the $45.00? I hope for your sake it was. We have bought some "bargains" that turned out to not be worth the effort to haul them home. More than once around here we have said, "At least we didn't pay full price for that piece of s***."

Cheryl P. said...

Oh, I think you are so right, Rusty. It's always interesting when the car keys or a receipt (or whatever has been misplaced) everyone is saying..."you had them last" or "I gave them to you". Surely most people rationalize their behavior fairly regularly.

AletaObrien said...

My husband doesn't call it rationalization, he calls it salesmanship ability. Lol.

Cheryl P. said...

Oh how funny! There seems to be a lot of really bad salesmen out there. Actually, I know that for sure. As a real estate agent I know a lot of people that just talk smack.

lisleman said...

"maybe next Saturday" - funny!
The Mark Twain quote is a new one for me. I should get a t-shirt printed with it on the front so that people will not be surprised when they request something of me.
Rationalizing is so common. Do you think, the true rationalizing artists become politicians?

babs (beetle) said...

That's so funny. So many people don't just say "Yes I have" when you point out the have a new something. They always come up with several reasons why they just had to buy it. Mostly that it was at a cut down price. Why do we feel that we need to make excuses to have something nice?

I think that quote was written for me. I love it.

Cheryl P. said...

That is an excellent question? Do rationalizing artists become politicians? I suspect there are politicians that rationalize to support their point of view, I also suspect that there are some that are just pathological liars.

Cheryl P. said...

I think often when you hear someone justifying a purchase, they are still trying to enforce in their own mine why they spent the money.

I think most people procrastinate on things they don't like to do.

lisleman said...

Maybe it takes the right combination of rationalizing, lying and ego boosting abilities to run for office. Oh oh, I forgot one more important part - money.

Katherine Murray said...

I am dying!!! "Yes, Grandson #2 now sports the phrase "maybe next Saturday", no matter what the request is. Our gene pool remains strong."

My youngest used to say, "Maybe tomorrowwwwwww" when there were things she was hesitant to do.... or just did not WANT to do! That cracked me up! And what a CUTIE!!! He is so gorgeous!

abeerfortheshower said...

It's amazing how hard it is to get people to just say, "I screwed up." As posted on our blog before, I served on a jury in a road rage case where a woman got out of her car, walked up to another woman's car, pulled her out in front of her family, and proceeded to stab her. She then plead not guilty because, as her defense said, "she was being bullied because the woman honked at her, and she pro-actively acted in self defense before the other woman could strike."

I kid you not.

(Oh, and it took all of 20 minutes of deliberation to convict her)

Dexter Klemperer said...

As I recall, it was probably worth $40 but certainly not $98. But then I rarely spend even more than $20 a bottle. We learned the hard way to avoid the $3 bargain bin (though we did find a few gems) and stick with the $7 to $9 bargain bin. Even then, you'll still get some losers.

Cheryl P. said...

Are are families related? We are all Irish, right??? BTW...thank-you. We think our little G-boy is pretty cute, but then we are biased. He is really is quite funny too.

Cheryl P. said...

NO JOKE??? She stabbed her and then tried to justify it??? Why do I never get jury duty with insane people like that on trial? 20 minutes of deliberation...I'll bet you could of of decided that in five and had 15 minutes to talk about the weather and sports.

While we lived in TX there was a case that made national news about a mother with kids in the car, cutting another mother with kids in the car, off on an exit ramp. The woman followed the mom until a stop sign, got out and shot her dead. She said during an interview she was having a bad morning.

meleahrebeccah said...

"I think many of us that have an extreme talent for justifying our behavior and we are very conscious while we make our excuses."

- True.

"Eat large quantities of ice cream saying it's a good source of calcium"

- OMG. I am totally stealing that rationalization.