Thursday, May 26, 2011

My Husband and Dresses

You might have noticed that my subtitle under the title The Art of Being Conflicted  says that I write "Random Ramblings,  Odd Observations, and Vaccilating Views".  Today consider this a "Random Rambling".  I don't even know why I was thinking about how I detest shopping for clothes ...but I was in some way reminded of my general dislike for shopping and specifically for my utter abhorance for DRESS shopping.  That seems rather unnatural doesn't it, ladies?  But still, it is true.  I hate to shop for clothes.

My husband on the other hand, does not mind shopping at all. So when needed, he will push me in the direction of  the appropriate store to purchase the items that are on the "have to get" list.

Now some of my regular blogees out there are just chomping at the bit to find out that my husband is "into" women's dresses. So sad to disappoint you by withholding some prime teasing material  but this is a post about my occassinal "dress" dillemmas that I drag my poor spouse into.   Luckily this doesn't come up all that often as my basic wardrobe consists of jeans, black slacks or workout gear.  BUT every so often there is a wedding, a funeral, or a special event that requires me to go on the HUNT for the perfect dress. Well, maybe not even perfect...maybe one that fits, is affordable and doesn't make me look 100. (OK...shut up with the "nearly there" remarks, you smart a***)

I usually enlist hubby to keep me company and weigh in on my selection.  Really, he is a trooper.

The unsual scenario sounds something like this....
Which one do you like better?  Does this make me look fat?  Is this too long?  Is this too short? Does it make me look old?  Is it age appropriate?  Does it look cheap? Is it too expensive?  Still hubby is a sport and says the right things most of the time.

Here is a little of my husband's dress history with me.  Our first dress incident wasn't even one that I roped him into doing.  He took it upon him self to hunt down a dress for me.  BRAVE very BRAVE!

The first "dress" excursion happened a time, a very, very, long time ago, Hubby and I were high school sweethearts. As all 15 year old girls trying to make their way through high school, a lot of my self-worth was closely linked to what I wore, how my hair looked and all the exterior superfluous things I believed  defined me.

One afternoon, boyfriend (now hubby) drove me home from school, only to find a fire had burned everything I owned. Not much survived the flames. Most of my clothes, my shoes, my big rollers that made those 60's era hairdos possible.  Gone, up in smoke.
Needless to say, I was distraught. For a number of reasons, I was left to figure out a quick fix to the problem as to what to wear to school the next day. I know some of you won't be old enough to know, but back then we still wore skirts or dresses. (Damn, I am old!)

As luck would have it, boyfriend was 16 and had a part time job at Montgomery Wards.(also, a thing of the past)  Here's where it gets interesting, at least from my perspective and  just one part of why we have been married 39 years. Hubby drove up to his place of employ and bought me a dress to wear to school the next day. I can still tell you exactly what that dress looked like. Navy with white collar, red scarf tie. Very nautical looking. Very cute.

Very gallant don't you think? I am not sure how much that dress cost him, but I can tell you at 16 years old he couldn't afford it. All the same he bought it.

In the early years of our marriage, I made most of my clothes.  I actually, was quite a good seamstress, so I didn't mind doing that. Good thing as in those years it was wayyyyy cheaper to make your clothes than to buy them off the rack.  (that isn't always the case anymore...say thank you to China) Hubby was relegated to help pick out fabric for a number of years and if that wasn't painful enough, I added the other dimension of having him help "pin" things for me.

Aren't you amazed this marriage has lasted this long. I know some of you guys are sweating profusely at this point.

A more recent dress expedition:

Years later in 2003...during the time our daughter was to be married, I like, all mother-of-the-bride, wanted the perfect dress. I wanted the dress that would look pretty in pictures even though I look so awful in every picture I have ever been in. Truly, the LEAST photogenic person on the planet. This is not an exaggeration. When I say the the whole world...least....really...I mean it.

I knew that her wedding was formal, so therefore I wanted a long dress but I looked through catalogues and stores to no avail. I checked with seamstresses and for the most part I didn't like their vision or the cost was over the moon or it just seemed like too much work, blah, blah, blah.

 In most of the bridal stores, the dresses I liked either didn't come in my size or an appropriate color. It turns out that I wear a size 2 petite in a formal dress and very few dressmakers handle that. Hubby hauled me to countless stores in Texas, Oklahoma, Illinois, Kansas and Missouri. I am not kidding. Every time he went on a business trip, I went with him to hang out at bridal stores. Finally in Sherman, TX I found a line of dresses that they had samples of and could order in my size.

I know most of you husbands are feeling like I would be a royal pain.  No question, ROYAL PAIN IN THE ASS, but hubby hung in there in every instance and was nothing but supportive.

Can you guess which one is me?  No, I am not the bride!!!

The Good for the Day....I found a dress and it didn't kill either me or hubby.

The Bad for the Day....It became quite the excursion through several states.

The Weird for the Day...You have your it weird to have this much trouble finding a dress or is it weird that I hate shopping?


Kelly@TearingUpHouses said...

I can so relate to this. I have the HARDEST time with clothes shopping...


meleahrebeccah said...

"is it weird that I hate shopping?


I am TOTALLY with you. I cannot stand shopping. I dread every single second I am inside of ANY store. And, do NOT even get me on clothes shopping. UGH!

Cheryl P. said...

Hi Kelly, I am so glad that I am not alone on this. Most of my friends think I am nuts for not thinking that shopping is the ultimate fun adventure. Yuck! Thanks for coming by.

Cheryl P. said...

Meleahrebeccah, you just made me feel so much better. Do your friends want to drag you to malls to try to convince you that you are wrong and that it is really fun? Double UGH!

meleahrebeccah said...

Oh they've given up on trying to get me to go shopping with them.
Especially at "The Mall"!

It's a LOST cause.

I've been wearing THE SAME CLOTHES for almost 5 years now!
That's how much I REALLY loathe shopping!

Bodaciousboomer said...

OMG! You're a size 2? I had no idea. I never realized tiny people could be so funny and at times inappropriate, which makes them even funnier. I always assumed they were cranky because they were always hungry

And as for shopping- I'd rather get a root canal. Even when I was all of a size 8, I hated it. Doug on the other hand, lives to shop, loves to shop- gets a woody even thinking about it.

Annie (Lady M) x said...

Hiya! Nope you are not weird at all. I hate shopping for clothes too, and I generally obtain my clothes by giving money to my friends who buy stuff for me!

So you are not photogenic? Tosh!.... you look a million dollars in that photograph. I couldn't have envisioned a more lovely dress for the occasion - stylish yet subtle, but still standing out .... but not too much. And as for the bride ........ WOW!

Cheryl P. said...

I just think we would be great friends if we lived near each other. Our hubbys would too. I too would rather the root canal. At least they give you medication to numb the pain.
I, fear that I would be inappropriate no matter what size I am.

Cheryl P. said...

I don't have friends that like me enough to have to track down my size. Impossible.
Thank you for the nice comments about the pic. Because the photographer was being paid he probably tried not to make me too bad.

Cheryl P. said...

Just 5 years? I would hate to do the math for sure but I am thinking some of my workout stuff is pushing ten. Plus a lot of the new styles just don't do it for me.

Bodaciousboomer said...

If you feel in need of a good tracking for your size or anything else just let me know. I'm not terribly busy with festivals right now.

Jewell said...

First...let me say your hubby is either a saint or a real keeper! =) Being it's been 39 years of marriage...I'm leaning toward the fact you might fancy him a keeper. =)

Secondly...not weird at all. I HATE shopping for clothes. Especially dress clothes.

Thirdly...this is so not a fun post because you took all my fun out of being able to make some snarky yet brilliant comments on all key comedy related points. Rude! *shakes head* =) are gorgeous and cute, and I hate you for being so tiny and in such good shape! Seriously though, you are definitely photogenic, clearly too hard on yourself, and frankly everyone in the wedding picture looked beautiful. (Yes, even the guys, so shut up male people out there.) xo

Don E. Chute said...

Bravo - Bravo to your hubby, my hat is off to him! I'm not sweating profusely, as I am a EX husband.

Guess I didn't pick out enough cool dresses :-/

Aloha From Sunny South Florida!

Cheryl P. said...

I did miss your snarky comments so you need to step up your game and always find something to be arbitrary/hysterical about. I will try harder to make some inane/insane point for you to crab about.

Cheryl P. said...

Also, you are too kind. I will say only great photographers can salvage a picture with me in it. You could but that isn't the norm.

Cheryl P. said...

Hi Don, Thanks for stopping by. I suspect that you did a fine enough job on dress picking. To say marriages are complicated is a gross understatement.
South Florida sounds nice...not too hot yet???

Cheryl P. said...

Aren't you just about the sweetest person on the planet. You would be setting yourself up for total frustration. Not being busy with that a good thing or a bad thing? Is this a welcome break?

oldereyes said...

Well, you and your husband are not alone. My wife pretty much hates shopping and I know my way through the malls better than she does. When we were younger, some of her nicest clothes I found as gifts. My shopping trips to find her Christmas presents were legendary and I always went along when she shopped. Age and body changes have made that more of a challenge these days, but the truth is, I miss it.