Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Oh My, I Might Be Walking into Trouble

For those of you that didn't start reading my blog in the beginning, let me
catch you up to speed on a few things.  Here's a bit of my history that will play into the subject of today's post.

In 1998, hubby and I took our 19th corporate move.  We moved from Grand Island, NE to Dallas, TX during what was to be the hottest, driest summer on record.  Now, you might imagine that moving from a place that has a median high temperature of 87 degrees and an average low temperature of 12 degrees (I don't think that is really accurate, I think they are trying not to scare you) to a state that has an average high temperature of  something near the temperature on the sun but an average low of "Damn, that is nice."

12 degrees above zero in January!  Who are they trying to kid?


53 degrees in January..that's more like it.

Let's get back to how this relates to my story....I had taken it upon myself to protect myself from freezing to death in Nebraska by packing on a few (I am being conservative in my description) layers of fat. My tact was to emulate  a bear readying itself for hibernation.  While hubby assures me it wasn't that much, I have since sent recommendations to the US government to appoint him to a post as a US Diplomat.  By the time I hit Dallas, (literally hit, kerplop) Dallas, I had some serious poundage to address.  So, I enlist a neighbor to start a walking campaign with me.  In earlier posts you might remember her as Texas Pal.  Texas Pal and I start slowly but after a few months we are clicking off 4.8 miles every (EVERY) morning in a little under an hour.  We both were back to our fighting weight in no time.  (who wouldn't  lose some LBs walking in 100+ degree weather?)

During those 6 years most of the homes along our walking route got familiar with us cruising by at 6 AM and people could set their watches by us.  It was rather fun on rainy days all the people that would come out and offer us umbrellas and such.  We had a reputation as the nuts that always walked.

Then in 2005, hubby and I decided to move to Kansas to be near family.  (In case you are wondering, it wasn't that we were missing the cold snowy winters).  Texas Pal and I came up with the ingenious idea of cell phone walking.  I bought a second cell phone and put it on a Family Plan and shipped it to her.  We both purchased Bluetooth headsets and at 6 AM, Texas Pal gives me a call and off we go.

Now this is the part that gets interesting.   I have been walking this same route in Kansas for 6 years now and people are still confused by me.  I think, they think that I am a crazy woman talking to myself.  No one is all nicy-nice like the Texas folk. Kansas is more  the eyeing-me-suspiciously folk.  In fairness to Kansans, I  don't think this is because they aren't friendly. I  think that is because they don't understand who I am talking to.  ALTHOUGH, I have been hit twice by cars.  (not enough to kill me) and chased by more than once by dogs while the owners looked on.   I am pretty sure they feel the need to discourage me from walking by their place on the outside chance I am schizophrenic.


I have been passing this tree...ex-tree for a couple of months now.  At first I thought the owners were just cutting it down but as the weeks have gone on, I am thinking they are making some type of artistic statement.  Not sure really but the fact it hasn't changed for a number of weeks, it has my curiosity up.  I decided to take a picture on my way by BUT just when I went to click my Iphone, a guy walks out the front door in his underwear. (presumably to collect the KC Star) 

As, I was somewhat at a loss for words, I told Texas Pal to hang on while I try to explain myself.  No explanation really was coming to mind.  Do I say, "hey Mister, this is one ugly tree thing you have going on here."  OR do I say "What the heck buddy?  Can't you pull on some pants before coming out here?  OR  "Mister, I am NOT a stalker!  I was taking a picture of your ugly tree not your ugly body."

What I did was quickly put my phone back into my pocket and hightail it down the street.   I told Texas Pal not to be surprised if a police car wasn't on it's way.  Luckily I got home before I got a peeping Tomess charge levied against me. 

So it goes...If you ever come to Olathe, KS and you see a woman talking to herself at 6AM, rain or shine, stop and say hi.  Please don't hit me with your car or give me the "crazy lady talking to herself" stare.

I am not walking in Memphis but if I would be there at some point, I will be talking on the cell phone with Texas Pal.

The Good for the Day....Good friends that get up early every morning for 12+ years

The Bad for the Day....  Suspicious minds

The Weird for the Day.... I have developed a little pal on my walk.  I haven't gotten a good picture of him because by the time I pull my Iphone


Liggy said...

OMG, Cheryl! That is quite shocking that the guy would come out like that, especially when you're obviously trying to take a picture! I've had weird things or people get caught in some of my pictures, but nothing that compares to that!

Cperz said...

Hi Liggy, Yeah, it came as a big ole surprise when he stepped out of the house. He probably figured no one would be around at 6 AM, let a lone a nut with a camera aimed at the front of his house trying to get a shot of his ugly tree. I need to invest in one of those spy cameras that fit into a button or something. That could make for some interesting blog fodder.

Unknown said...

Now that's quite a tree. Glad the pant-less man isn't in the background.

Anonymous said...

Quite frankly I'm surprised that you haven't been arrested for being up and, actually, moving at the plumber's crack of the morning. That's got to be against some sort of law or something.

As for the odd looks...chalk it up more to a metropolitan thing. You need to clearly do this insanity of yours in rural areas where the only odd looks you get are from the cows.

As for pant-less time you get an eyeful of him just smile brightly, giggle, wave like an over exuberant 3 yr old, and pull out your chainsaw to put that poor tree out of it's misery. He probably won't be eyeballing you anymore after that =) hehe

Cperz said...

Hi Kelly, Thanks for coming by. Do you think this tree measures up to the pretty wooded scene on your blog? Probably not...(heh heh)
I had already snapped the photo when pantless guy came out but of course, I was still standing there in plain sight with camera in hand. I was rather surprised he didn't ask me what the heck I was doing. He just gave me the stink eye.
This morning he was standing on his porch fully dressed. I wonder if he is keeping an eye out for me in case he thinks I was casing the joint.

Cperz said...

Hi Jewell, I am rather surprised that I haven't been arrested. In the winter when it's totally dark out and I am out wandering thru neighborhoods, I guess it wouldn't shock me to have someone call the cops.

I think your suggestion might work but there isn't much of a chance that I could hang on to a chain saw for 5 miles.

This morning he was standing on his porch fully clothed. I think he is keeping an eye on me. I would rather be getting looks from "stranger cows" than "stranger men".

meleah rebeccah said...

What is UP with those Kansas people. The guy came outside in his underwear because you were taking a photo of his jacked tree? That's sooo odd.

Gotta love those Texans. I visited there once, a few years ago. I never wanted to leave!

Nicky said...

Hihihihi! I can just imagine you trying to explain to a judge "But I just wanted to put the picture up on the Internet...wait, no, I mean, not *his* picture..."

Cperz said...

hi Meleah, I suspect the poor guy thought he could duck out after his newspaper and was surprised to find me snapping pictures of his tree. I hope at least, he thinks I was interested in his tree and not his near naked self.

Kansas aren't as friendly as Texans as most people here have always lived here and have their cliques established. Everyone in Dallas came from somewhere else and are open to outsiders. I will wheedle my way into these KS hearts or die tryin'

Cperz said...

Hi Nicky, that is EXACTLY what I told Texas Pal as I was fast footing it down the street. I said, what cop is going to believe that I am wanting a picture of that ugly tree? They are going to think I am after something more nefarious.

Oh, well, no cops have come around asking me questions yet.

Bodacious Boomer said...

You never shoulda left here kiddo. You know down here we embrace diversity, make that craziness.

Cperz said...

There is some serious mean diversity here too. They certainly don't embrace it like Texans do. Do you suppose that T-shirts that say "keep Olathe weird" would catch on. Guessing not

Cperz said...

Hi Dora, Thank you so much. I just got back from visiting your Blog-A-Licious library. Very cool...I am honored to be in the mix. Thanks.

I am working on putting together a complete blogroll on my site but there doesn't seem to be enough hours in the day. Blog-A-Licious will be added to the page soon, I promise.

Cheryl P.

Annie (Lady M) x said...

So you accidentally took a picture of a guy in underpants?! I must admit, you do sound a rarity - I hardly ever see anyone walk anywhere when I am over there!

Cperz said...

Hi Anne, I do find it odd here that Americans are always talking about the epidemic of obesity but still most communities don't have people utilizing the walking and biking trails.

meleah rebeccah said...

hmmm..... where did my comment go?

meleah rebeccah said...

hmmm..... where did my comment go?