Friday, June 17, 2011

Friday Around the Water Cooler

Time for us to meet at the water cooler and hash  over some of the week's most  chat worthy stories.

This week's news loop

Let's just get the big one put away.  I mean "the story"  not " the wiener"...but I understand  the confusion.   Anthony Weiner has resigned today so the story should start to lose some of it's momentum.  Still, the story made a strong presence in this week's news reports.

As you might remember from a previous post, I have this "theory" that the network news programs tape three or more big stories and just keep them on a  continual film loop.  They save a lot of money as they use the same videos over and over and over. Also, this gives the anchors time to go back in the green room and take a nap.  As a viewer it allows you to watch about 20 minutes of news any given day and pretty much keep you informed.  Well...maybe NOT  totally informed because you might have missed a few "under" reported stories.

That is where I come in every  Friday...errr  most Fridays...OK when I happen to be in the mood on bring to light those little news worthy items you might have missed. 

This week the news loop was Weinergate, the trial of Casey Anthony and the flooding situation along the Missouri River.  (Does anyone find it odd that the two big stories this week involve an Anthony?'s just me that finds these little coincidences "strange")

Garden Gnomes, Beware!

There was the unfortunate shooting of a alligator in Independence, Missouri.  Independence is in the Kansas City metro so I had a front row seat to this one.

The Independence police received a call from a man saying his son had spotted a gator in a creek.  Police arrived on the scene and with the aid of the Missouri Conservation Dept. attempted to put down the alligator.  A local TV station reported after two shots were fired the officers realized they were dealing with a concrete gator.

Now the real fun of this story wasn't so much the fact that the officers mistook the gator for being real. That, actually was just a "bonus" of fun.  The real fun are the comments when Fox news interviewed the alligator's owner.

Rick Sheridan was on the news saying "The officer fired two rounds, and killed my concrete, ornamental alligator.  I'm a little shocked that the first option for handling a gator is to blast it with a shotgun. Still, if we're talking lawn gnomes, I wouldn't mind blasting one of those underwear-thieving fuc***. They have it coming."

That just cracks me up.  Killed??? And silly me, I wasn't aware of the tendency of Garden Gnomes to steal underwear.  I guess if I have occasion to walk by a Garden Gnome in the future, I will be holding tightly to my under garments.

Truly, I am not making this up.  Here is the link for you.  The story about the concrete gator


Another story in the news this week...
Texas Justice

A man in Texas, while on parole for sex crimes  (some which involved children), broke into a rural house armed with a knife and proceeded to attack a 77 year old woman.   During the course of raping her he complained he wasn't feeling well.  After he rolled off of her, she believed that the man had passed out from being drunk, she escaped and called the Corpus Christi Sheriff's office.  It turns out the 53 year old rapist, had died of a heart attack. 

I am thinking this is a wonderful example of Karma...and she didn't waste anytime getting this guy taken care of.

Wart Removal Method Guaranteed to Work 

A Security guard from South Yorkshire shot himself in the hand to try to remove a wart from his finger.

Sean Murphy, 38, lost most of his left middle finger after using the stolen 12-bore Beretta shotgun at a garden centre in Doncaster. (I am here to tell you he is really going to miss that particular finger.)

He was charged in the incident for using an illegal firearm and given a 16 week suspended prison sentence.
Murphy, who subsequently lost his job from Markham Grange Nurseries, said that the good news is that he got rid of the wart. He had tried a number of remedies to no avail and the wart was causing him pain. He said it never occurred to him that he would lose most of his finger and there wasn't enough of it left to reattach it.  There was some question as to whether he might of had something to drink that afternoon.

For more on that story you could click here.

One more for good measure, my blogee readers....

He was doing what??? while he was driving???

A lawsuit is going to trial this coming week in Fairfax County, Virginia.  The Defendant, a man from Woodbridge, was convicted in Fairfax district court of drunken driving on the Beltway last year which resulted in an accident.  Now he is being sued by one of the victims of the accident for $75,000.00.

The Washington Post did not give much information as to the pertinent facts of the collision but they are releasing some of the documentation.

Paragraph 10. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was going 85 miles per hour.”

Paragraph 12. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was having sex with a female.”

Paragraph13. “At the time of the collision, Defendant was driving admittedly drunk.”

Paragraph 14. “At the time of the accident, Defendant was partially or totally in the backseat of the car.”

A couple of things about this story I am finding interesting.  Driving 85 miles an hour,  while having sex, while drunk and half  or all the way in the back seat.  Either this guy is the greatest multitasker on the planet or the biggest idiot in the universe.   I am leaving it up to you to decide.

The Good for the Week... The Texas rapist get zapped with a heart attack might be considered good in a very slanted perspective.

Interstate 29 is closed at the Crescent Exit in Iowa

The Bad for the Week... The flooding that is impacting all the areas around the Missouri River.  My son-in-law #1 sent some pictures today.  Here is one that shows the rising waters closing down Interstate 29.

The Weird for the Week...Pretty much any of this week's stories

Seems Chuck Berry didn't have the same skills that the Woodbridge driver had. He was just leaning over to whisper in her ear.   I guess Chuck wasn't aware you could get in the backseat and drive at the same time.


Bodaciousboomer said...

I would so have that concrete alligator in my yard. I wonder where they got it?

Cheryl P. said...

Pretty funny story. You could have the a Texas Ranger come over to shoot yours. I am sure they bought it locally. We have those concrete statuary places all over around here.

Junebug said...

LMAO!!! The whole gator story cracked me up. Damn Gnomes!

Cheryl P. said...

It takes all kinds, doesn't it??? The guy must have a Gnome phobia.

Nicky said...

There are no coincidences and I will never look at a garden gnome the same way! :-)

Cheryl P. said...

The real question is what are those garden gnomes looking at? If you hear a faint whisper saying " I see London, I see like the wind.

Raine said...

The underpants gnomes are a South Park thing:

I love the concrete gator thing - I would so have one of those if we had a pond. I can't believe they shot it without at least waiting for it to move (nevermind, yes I can), but it reminds me of an aunt who used to put ornamental deer in her yard only to have them shot by idiots every couple years.

Cheryl P. said...

That link from Southpark is hilarious. Thanks for clearing up the reference to underpants. I love South Park but missed that one. Have no idea why they shot first, I am sure that is now haunting them as everyone is having a good laugh. Really, people shoot at fake deer too? Idiots!!!
Thanks for stopping by Raine!!!

oldereyes said...

Where do you find this stuff?

Random thoughts: When I was the director of the local youth soccer league, a woman applied to be a coach. Her name was Ophelia Weiner. Yes, we gave her a team. How could we not? According to a survey by Jabra, the headphone manufacturer (!!), 15% of drivers have had sex while driving. And (drum roll please) underwear stealing gnomes are from an episode of South Park (Google gnomes and underwear). Fun post!

Jayne said...

Geez, that photo of the flooding it just unbelievable. The guy that shot the wart off his finger... I think I saw him up on stage at the Republican debate this week.

Cheryl P. said...

Ophelia Weiner...OMG that is hilarious. I would have changed my name.
Jabra survey...can you imagine having someone call you for a survey and asking if you had sex while driving. Don't you think you would hang up thinking it was a prank call.
Ya, someone else told me earlier today that gnome thing is a SP reference. I usually have family members that know such trivia and no one mentioned that one. I watched the You Tube of it and thought it was hyterical.

Cheryl P. said...

Jayne, you are funny. Something tells me you had better pace yourself as you have a whole year ahead of listening to a bunch of idiot politicians spouting off campaign propaganda. Unfortunately, I think there are going to be some people embarassing themselves on both sides of the aisle. I am stocking up on Advil and keeping my middle finger well exercised and ready to use at a moments notice.

Don E. Chute said...

The MF rapist is still dead and the 77 year old victim is still alive to f=*k another day.

"Garden Gnomes to steal underwear".
That explains it.....

Happy Fathers Day , Mothers....
....Aloha FSSF!

Cheryl P. said...

Wouldn't it just the one of lifes little jokes if all rapists started dying of heart attacks during their dispicable behavior.

I didn't get that connection to the gnome's stealing underwear on South Park. Pretty funny.