As it turns out, according to Jeff Bergen, a mathematical professor at DePaul University the chances of picking a perfect bracket is 9.2 quintillion. That's 18 zeros.
Of course, to win an office pool, you only have to do better than the next guy. That is what Crabby Pants is opting for.
BUT...on with the odd news for the week.
***(really can't say)*** was His Name-OOO
A Covington, Kentucky man found himself in front of a judge on a second degree disorderly conduct charge this week.
So do the police. At least the one that was there at the Bingo game. Park Hills Police Officer, Sgt. Richard Webster, charged Austin with disorderly conduct. According to his report, he felt that this was in the same vein as yelling fire in a theater.
When Austin appeared in Kenton District Court this week before Judge Douglas Grothaus, the judge told Austin he is not to say the word Bingo for six months and he is not to go near the Bingo Hall.
Austin could have received 90 days in jail and a $250 fine if the judge would of been inclined. After 6 months the charges can be removed from Austins record if he has no other offenses.
The judge doesn't seem to deem rogue bingo callers as reprehensible as Sgt. Webster does. Although, 6 months is a long time not to say the word BINGO.
Pays to Know the Judge
A Pennsylvania judge faced criminal charges for allegedly dismissing traffic tickets against her that included an expired registration for her BMW, the state's attorney general said on Monday.
Judge Kelly Ballentine, a Magisterial District Judge, had received 2 parking tickets in 2010 and an expired registration ticket on her BMW. After she failed to pay them on time, a summons was issued. She accessed the online court system website and dismissed the tickets.
The incident was noticed and reported to the court and initially, Ballentine was charged with 12 counts of conflict of interest, tampering with public records and obstruction. She was put on paid administrative leave pending all the charges being dealt with and had to post a $25,000 bond.
Royce Morris, her attorney said his client exercised a lapse in judgement. The judge agreed and said "What's done is done but go on and maybe you will work harder to do the job you were elected to do."
Really, that's it? That story would have just been so much more fun if she would of acted as her own judge and sent herself to jail for 30 days.
Don't Kill the Messenger
As severe cold grips the eastern U.S. on March 21, Punxsutawney Phil’s forecast for an early spring is best described as an epic failure. The prosecuting attorney of Butler County, Ohio, Michael Gmoser, wants the groundhog to pay for his flawed prediction, with his life.
Gmoser filed an indictment against Phil which reads accordingly:
On or about February 02,2013, at Gobbler’s Knob, Punxsutawney Phil did purposely, and with prior calculation and design, cause the people to believe that Spring would come early. Contrary to the Groundhog day report, a snowstorm and record low temperatures have been and are predicted to continue in the near future, which constitutes the offense of MISREPRESENTATION OF EARLY SPRING, a Unclassified Felony, and against the peace and dignity of the State Of Ohio.SPECIFICATION: The people further find and specify that due to the aggravating circumstances and misrepresentation to the people that the death penalty be implemented to the defendant, Punxsutawney Phil
Gmoser said in a phone interview that waking up to snow and temperatures in the teens on the second day of spring served as motivation for the indictment.
Gmoser expects Phil to appeal the indictment.
“His defense will be he didn’t know his rear end from a hole in the ground,” Gmoser said.
The indictment comes just three days after TheOnion.com satirically wrote the groundhog had been beheaded for his inaccurate prediction.
To close the interview, Gmoser confided he was just having “a little fun” with the indictment.
“This is a story that has legs,” Gmoser joked. “I hope everyone understands it’s tongue-in-cheek