Friday, August 16, 2013

How Cliche

 This week in odd news there seems to be a number of people that have tried to act out on old cliches but sadly got them wrong. 

Stop Lion

A Chinese zoo  has customers calling foul.....not to be confused with fowl.  The zoo in the People's Park of Luohe has been playing fast and loose with substituting common animals and trying to pass them off as exotic animals.

One zoo patron brought her son to the zoo to educate him on the sounds that animals make. As she was standing at the cage marked African Lion, she heard barking.  (Seriously????That was the ONLY thing that gave it away??)

The so-called lion was a Tibetan Mastiff in disguise. 

 "The zoo is absolutely is cheating us." said one customer who paid the $2.45 price for the ticket. 

The lion...Errrr dog .. Wasn't the only substitution. A white fox was subbing for a leopard and another dog was filling in for a wolf. 

"This is not funny at all. This is sad for the zoo and the animals." said someone on Sina Weibo, the Chinese equivalent of Twitter.

Something seems amiss in China.  They know how to build an iPhone but can't tell a dog from a lion.  Maybe we could send pictures to them on Sina Weibo.

Cheap Sleep

Have you ever gotten so drunk that when you woke up you realize the B&B you checked into is actually a shipping container?  If you have, you aren't alone.  If you haven't you probably missed a hell of a party. 

After a night of drinking in Qingdao, China, Jiang Wu found himself trapped in a sealed 60 foot container that was being prepared for a two week journey across the Pacific to Los Angeles.  According to the Fairfax New Zealand News, Wu thought the container was a Bed and Breakfast.  

Luckily, Wu had a cellular phone on him and managed to call the police.  The police were at a loss as to which container contained a hungover Wu was in,  as there were 1000s of containers stacked for shipment. After an extensive search, Wu was located in a container stacked 18 meters up.

General rule of thumb...when you are so drunk that you think a storage container is a B & B,  you are TOO drunk.  Do B & Bs look differently in China compared to those in the U.S.?

Dinner rush 

Two Chicago burglars were trying to rob the Clifton Grill in  West Rodgers Park in the Chicago area but were sidetracked when the owner asked if they could come back in an hour when he wasn't so busy. 

Proving that some crimes don't have a mastermind in charge, the two  bungling burglars came armed with a fake gun (although it appeared real) and threatened the owner.  The owner  fearing for the safety of his customers, asked them to come back when there weren't so many people dining,  and he would be free to be robbed. (I don't think that is how he phrased it..but it's implied.)

So while these geniuses are crooks they are "accommodating crooks" and they left the restaurant. You may not be surprised to hear that after they left the owner called the cops.  Upon their return to the restaurant,  there were policemen waiting for them.  The two burglars, Mario Garcia and Domingo Garcia-Hernandez were arrested and charged with attempted aggravated robbery.

These two need to find a different line of work.  

And Last But Not Least

It's NOT


Debra She Who Seeks said...

Had a big laugh at the drunk Chinese guy in the container -- crazy bastard.

Cheryl P. said...

Debra, I am starting to worry about the future of mankind. People can't tell the difference between lions and dogs, or containers and B&Bs. Crazy for sure.

Wendy said...

Oh Cheryl, you are so innocent, you sweet thing. Of Course the zoo knew it wasn't a lion. They were counting on their patrons NOT to know. Can you imagine how very challenging( not to mention the expense) it must be today to have a real lion?
And maybe B and B's do look like shipping containers in China, because in my city, they have started to use some of them for homeless housing. So, you see, it IS possible he wasn't that drunk at all.
Don't you think those nice (but dumb)burglars should be given something special for being so accommodating? Perhaps a lifetime pass for food at the diner. Why, a good meal every day just might turn their life around!
Love Love Love that line : Police come to burglars who wait.

Cheryl P. said...

I was pretty sure the zoo was clued into the lion being a dog but I am shocked it took the lady with a kid to hear the animal bark before she was aware of the scam. Had the lion never barked, would the zoo of continued having an awesome lion exhibit? Guess we will never know.

Now that you mention it there are some homes here being created out of shipping crates as well. Perhaps, I judged him unfairly. I really need to work on not assuming alcohol is involved in all these odd stories. (although, Crabby Pants assured me the odds of it's presence is extremely high.)

I agree that perhaps, the judge should consider their willingness to accommodate when sentencing them. I am pretty sure they are going to get some free meals where they are going...probably not for life but then they can try another heist and continue getting meals. It's on them to work that out.

lisleman said...

the zoo story has me thinking their zoo was more like our old traveling carnivals where the side shows would pass off fake things as real all the time.
B&B - well if a mastiff looks a lion maybe a shipping container looks like a B&B.
Chicago's robbers willing to accommodate victims - The nice Midwestern robbers returned (don't think the restaurant owner thought they would) and the owner delayed them a second time under the pretense of getting the checkbook from his wife. This is what was reported on one of the local stations. So these two robbers jump through hoops and are still willing to accept checks. They could be the most reasonable robbers around.

Chubby Chatterbox said...

The cat in that video looks like he's enjoying the ride. Had several opportunities to get away and didn't. Funny!

Cheryl P. said...

You might be right about it being more like a carnival. side doesn't look much like what Americans would call a zoo.

None of the articles about the Chicago robbers gave much info. Even the Chicago Tribune didn't say the name of the restaurant. I found that on a clip of your local news although I don't recall which station.

That is funny that they were willing to take a check. Can't say Midwesterners aren't friendly...even when they are robbing someone.

Cheryl P. said...

I thought that was pretty funny as well. Little French (or maybe that is Canadian) dogs sure work for their keep. They even bring in the cat. AND you are right, the cat seems to be OK with it.

lisleman said...

you just made me think of an saying. It goes something like, "he is so smooth he'll f--- you over and leave a smile on your face."
I think the local TV report I heard was CBS, channel 2 here.

Dexter Klemperer said...

So the Chinese zoo lied but I'm not sure I'd call it cheating for only $2.45. That sounds like a fair price for a fake zoo. Which also inspires my next get rich quick scheme since we have 2 cats and 2 dogs.... I hope the guy in the container complained to the shipping company that he didn't get his breakfast.

Cheryl P. said...

I thought that as well, Dexter but then it occurred to me that $2.45 might be big money. How much does a factory worker in China make for a days work? I think I read they make about 1/10 on average of what factory workers in the U.S. make.

I love your get rich schemes. I have two cats so if you think of a genius way to get rich, I am up to buy a franchise in Kansas City.

I am sure the guy in the container did plenty of complaining esp. about his hangover.

AletaObrien said...

Well, now, we have to give the criminals kudos for having the decency to return at a better time more convenient... not the brightest, but they were considerate. *snort*

I have heard that the Chinese hotels are like boxes. So a storage container might be a B&B. :)

That IS funny about the animal switches.

babs (beetle) said...

I am always amazed at what some people think they can get away with. A dog posing as a lion?

Robbers that will come back at the restaurant owners convenience? I've heard it all now.

Agent 54 said...

That dog gives a new meaning to the command fetch. I love animals with barbecue.....yeah you heard it before.

Riot Kitty said...

Laughing my ass off once again! Did you ever see Fierce Creatures? That first story totally reminded me of a couple of scenes from that movie.

When I worked in newspapers, I sat next to the cops reporter and every year she did a "dumbest criminals" story. We always howled but knew it was all true since she had seen the police reports. Also because you couldn't make that stuff up.

Rock Chef said...

Love the robbery one - reminds me of some near me who robbed a place while it was snowing, leaving foot prints all the way home...

Cheryl P. said...

I think this would be a good example of things not to negotiate on if you are a robber/thief/burglar. It's probably a good idea not to try to be too sensitive about your victim being inconvenienced.

After reading those two stories about the fake zoo and drunk in a container, I am curious if China doesn't have more of a problem with their people "dumbing down" than we do. Of course, I will read the paper at some point today and realize that we still have our share of stupid going on.

Cheryl P. said...

I totally agree, babs. Do they not think that someone would notice that the dog wasn't a real lion. I guess the real problem is that some people just don't think at all...or at least rationally.

Cheryl P. said...

Should I worry about you? Given the fact, that the poor lion/dog is in China...I would be concerned if anyone said "We are having the dog over at our place for stir-fry."

Linda R. said...

That zoo is in sad shape...really dogs posing as lions, and a fox who is supposed to be a leopard...really. I think the dumb robbers take the cake, though. Please come back later when it's more convenient to be robbed. Clearly there's a short circuit somewhere.

I've seen that kitty video before. That is apparently a very tolerant cat. Thanks for posting it again-it still makes me smile.

Cheryl P. said...

I really would love to meet up with you sometime to hear some of your stories. I used to work as a 911 dispatcher so I heard a few things but I image a newspaper office would have a lot of great stories circulating.

I have never seen Fierce Creatures. I will be looking that up the minute I get done with answering comments.

Cheryl P. said...

I remember reading that story about the trail left in the snow. That ranks right up with all the stories of thieves that post their information on Facebook. Weekly there seems to be someone posting something like "the cops will never find me at the Motel 6 on Fifth Street."

Cheryl P. said...

Makes you wonder about the zoos in China, doesn't it. Here even the littlest, most pathetic zoos do have some real exotic animals.

Yes, the 2 robbers have a short circuit of some sort. They better find a new line of work once they get out of jail.

I thought that was really funny as well. That little dog sure is a diligent little thing.

Jo-Anne said...

That video was so what the hell was going on with the zoo do they think people are that stupid well they must or they wouldn't had done what they did.........the dumb robbers do not surprise me there are many dumb thieves out there these are just two of them...........

GenePoolDiva said...

Where do you come up with this marvelous stuff? Your site is a treasure.

Cheryl P. said...

Oh, What a sweet thing to say, Kelly!!!

Elliot said...

Tibetan mastiffs are pretty awesome too, though.

Cheryl P. said...

Hi Elliot! Welcome to TAOBC...You make a great point. The dog does look awesome and at just $2.45 he would be worth the price of admission.

Robyn Engel said...

LOL. Wu is very lucky to have been found. Sounds like they make drinks very strong in China, and the men (this one, at least), awfully stupid.

Be well, Cheryl.

Cheryl P. said...

I agree. Had the searchers been less accommodating and said "serves the dumbass right" he might of never gotten rescued. Maybe he should drink more tea and less alcohol.

abeerfortheshower said...

I'm always amazed that robbers can be so stupid. Reminds me of that story where the store owner told the burglar he couldn't be robbed unless he bought something. That was the only way to open the cash register. And the robber didn't have any money. So he got frustrated and left.

"Do B & Bs look differently in China compared to those in the U.S.?"

Yeah, we look a lot taller in China.


Cheryl P. said...

Yeah, some of the stupid crook stories are amazing. I hadn't heard of that one but I am not surprised.

If that is what a B and B looks like in China, there is a money making opportunity for the Marriott corporation. A company wouldn't have to offer too high quality accommodations if you only had to do better than a shipping container.

Cheryl P. said...

Jo-Anne, I thought I had replied to you and but if I did, it didn't show up. HMMMM maybe I am losing my mind. I am curious if they really thought no one would notice that the dog wasn't a lion.

As for the thieves, I suppose the fact that these people are robbing a restaurant in broad daylight, with a full crowd of people in the place, proves they aren't the smartest guys around. Still....that is super crazy by any measure. Maybe they will get smarter while serving time.