Two Sided Guilder

Already, I have misled you about Amsterdam.  They no longer use guilders so the title should of been "Two Sides of the same Euro" I guess..but then it would be less "Dutchy".  I am all about "Dutchy."

I know that my regular readers are aware that I am married to a Dutchman.  His grandparents were part of a  group of Dutch that came to America and settled into a community made up of other Dutch. Then those Dutch families had lots of Dutch babies.  So, in other words, he is a pedigreed Dutch person compared to me being somewhat of an ethnic mix, of sorts. My family is predominately Irish, Scottish and a few dozen other things...none of which were from the Netherlands.

 His family still has roots in the Netherlands in the area northwest of Amsterdam.  Anyway...I was excited to get a chance to go to a country where all the natives pretty much look like my husband and his family. Yes, I can identify a Dutch person at 50 yards.

As for my trip...today's post is a little bit of a precursor to explain a few things prior to the second post I will do that is specifically about my visit to Amsterdam.

The weeks leading up to my planned departure I  noticed an interesting reaction when I told people that I was going to Amsterdam. They sometimes get that curious look, that knowing half-smile on their faces. "Amsterdam," they say with a mischievous grin, "lucky you!" I sometimes am hesitant to tell people that we sent our youngest child to go to the University of Amsterdam for a year as we thought it would be a great experience.  No!! Not the experience of recreational drugs and hookers. He could of gotten both at his state party schools,..... of course, I choose not to know about any of that.  (fingers in my ears...lalalalalalalalala)


 Yes...there are great things to experience in the Netherlands...specifically in Amsterdam.  Let's talk about the museums.  There are at least 89 museums. [click here for list of museums]

I could of (and would have loved to) spend another few days just visiting more of the museums around town. 

 Undoubtedly, millions travel to the Netherlands to see the just re-opened Rijksmuseum and its famous "Night Watch" painting, along with many other attractions of this truly charming city. But, let's face it, often the first thought that pops into people's brains is the acceptance of soft drugs and legal prostitution in the Netherlands. 

That is not to say other countries do not have a liberal attitude toward recreational drugs and prostitution. But the Dutch, with their history of practicality and compromise, decided to deal with these matters in a pragmatic way. In the process, they created a whole new world for tourists craving tolerance and a brush with the forbidden.

Still, there are great misconceptions about what is and is not legal there. Just to clarify some of those misconceptions, the Dutch do have rules and laws. 

 So what, precisely, is legal in the Netherlands?

You may be surprised to learn that recreational drugs are illegal in the Netherlands. Yes, even pot. But an official policy of tolerance emerged and in 1976 the Dutch parliament decriminalized possession of less than 5 grams of cannabis. That gave rise to a type of establishment found only in that country. In hundreds of "coffee shops" across the country -- not to be confused with "cafes" where you, in fact, go for coffee -- you can select from a menu of cannabis products and light up in full view indoors or at a sidewalk table.

Things got a little complicated in 2008, when the Netherlands, as other countries, imposed restrictions on smoking in public places. A great battle ensued as coffee shop owners complained the ban would put them out of business. Dutch compromising ensued. So, today, you cannot smoke in most public establishments, but you can still smoke marijuana in a coffee shop.

So, to recap: No cigarette smoking in public; yes to pot in small quantities and mushrooms are OK in very small quantities. Keep in mind their laws concerning banned drugs are harsh. 

And then there is the  Red Light District of Amsterdam.  The Rossebuurt, as the locals know it, is unlike any other place. (Yes, there are other Red Light Districts in other cities around the world but Amsterdam's is one of a kind.) Certainly, the RLD that everyone knows about is the one where women, of all nationalities, parade their wares in red-fringed window parlours.  There job is totally legal and is regulated as any other type of employment. 

Any tourist that wanders over to take a peek...and face it, what tourist DOESN'T do that?...what they will notice first (or at least in the top five  things they notice) the groups of voyeurs that are made up of packs of men, couples holding hands, giggling groups of women out for a "girl's night", or a bus load of Japanese tourists with their cameras.  The cameras, however, can not point toward a working person in one of the windows.  Taking pictures is strictly banned. (You do realized there are both men and women that work in the RLD, right? ...and at a few windows you might have to ask if they are man or woman...if it matters to you.)

What you might not think of when you think of this part of Amsterdam is how very charming that part of the city can be.  There are long winding cobbled streets with 14th century architecture.  The Gothic Oude Kerk (The Old Church) and Cafe' Pacifico. for example, are both in the Red Light District.

If you look close, you will see the windows trimmed in red.

Same street after dark..easier to see the red windows.

My next post will cover our arrival into Amsterdam, albeit several hours late...thanks to the ICE train delay out of Dusseldorf and some of our activities.

Here are some of the pictures of our visit to Amsterdam.

What Lesson Did You Learn?

I call foul!!! These government scandals  are  hogging the news programs.  All week there has been a drought of funny "can you believe they did that?" kind of news.  Seriously,  didn't we all  know that despite their campaign telling us they were the new and friendlier IRS that they aren't really all that friendly. AND as far as the government monitoring all the Verizon phone records...you already knew that our privacy isn't private.  

Crabby Pants was trying to create a scandal...well perhaps more that she wanted to participate in a scandal but she fell short.

Who is Naughty?

You might of missed any and all news programming this week with all the fervor over the big lottery win.  Because one of the winners happens to be in the Kansas City area, we have an over-abundance of coverage complete with interviews from everyone that has ever had a connection to the winners.  I think it is a lovely thing for people to have fortuitous events come into their lives but at some point it takes on the feel of the golden ticket scenes in the movie Willie Wonka and the Chocolate Factory.

But let us move on to the stories that might of been overlooked this week.

Public Service Announcement..It's time to dig out your ugly Christmas sweater.

On the subject of  "whose naughty or nice", there seems to be a few people (other than Crabby Pants) that are currently on the naughty list.

Organizing the Crazy

Perhaps, I should blame the confusion on my part as being a result of inattentiveness...or preoccupation..but it seems that there is some element of  "what the what" with this week's stories.
Crabby Pants believes that a little organiztion is required over here at TAOBC.  Call my a cynic but I doubt her organization skills will make these stories any more credible.  Let's just say, I don't want to upset Crabby Pants any more than necessary.

She is here to explain her new organizational tool for sorting out our Friday post.  The news stories are now divided into three distinct categories...well..at least as far as Crabby Pants is concerned.  I am not entirely convinced that these three categories will cover all the stupid and weird news we find.  Still she has labeled three file folders with little tabs.

First File:  Hell YES!

I sense a bad attitude here

Last Friday I talked about Shena Hardin, the Cleveland woman that drove on the sidewalk every morning to avoid stopping for the school bus.  She was sentenced to stand on the corner holding a sign. 

I am a bit conflicted how this story should be filed.  We (me and my crabby alter-ego, Crabby Pants) are super happy that the idiot...her words not mine.. got a ticket for her rock star move of driving on the sidewalk rather than stopping for the school bus BUT we are tempted to throw it in the "Hell No" file because she doesn't appear terribly remorseful.



Second File: Hell NO!


A Cincinnati judge must have been disappointed with the response she received when trying to work our a deal with Damaine Mitchell. Mitchell was in court Wednesday charged with trafficking marijuana.

Judge Melba Marsh stressed that she was willing to work with Mitchell by offering him a treatment program in lieu of going to jail.  She, offered that his record would be expunged as well, if he completed the program and gave up smoking pot.

Mitchell responded, "That's going to be hard for me to do, to be honest with you. I like smoking weed.  (well...you have to admire his honesty)  After further discussion with the judge about the requirements of his quitting, Mitchell made an unusual request...if she would allow him time to smoke one a joint before being returned to jail.

Judge Marsh, said that she had never been asked for marijuana in her court before.  She hasn't determined how she will handle his case.  Mitchell is due back in court on Monday.

Asking the judge...while she is considering your fate...for weed, might not be be a tactical maneuver. While it may not aide Mitchell as far as his sentencing goes,  it probably provided the judge with a fun story about her work day. 


Third File: What the Hell Were They Thinking

A Bangkok man was admitted to hospital after injecting his penis with unlicensed olive oil (olive oil needs a license in Thailand ???) The purpose of the injections were to enlarge his penis but as a result he had developed an infection causing his testicles to swell to the size of grapefruits.

To be fair, the article did point out that there was some that doubted the infection was caused by the injections. But olive oil penis injections have been problematic in other men. In 1995 a death was blamed on the procedure. (What? This is a trend or something?)

Notice that I didn't get carried away with pictures on this one.  Count on me to be super classy with my stories.  Seems there is a great debate on the procedure of shooting up olive oil...well at least into your penis.  Here's a thought...don't. 

Wayward Weed



not this big

 A few years ago, hubby was out on a consulting job and made an impulse "buy".  Hubby is somewhat famous for shopping when he is out of town working.  Seems that he tracked down a bargain on two rather large topiaries in large pots that he thought would look  nice on our Dallas patio.  Unfortunately, the trucking company that was in charge of shipping these to us, typed our street numbers as 1420 instead of the 1402 it should have been.  Did I mention these topiaries were BIG?







not this big, either



more like this

After a week of the shipment being MIA, Yellow Freight tracked down the misdirected delivery and figured out they had left my carefully sculpted pine trees in pots at house down the street from me.  Off I go...to recover my trees.
As luck would have it the very nervous woman that answered the door said, "Yes, there were two very large crates delivered but I just left them on the porch.  The next day they disappeared." 

I have no way of proving that her back patio did or didn't have two very nice topiaries sitting back there but if darting eyes and stammering are an indicator of guilt, this chick had my flora decorating her patio.

What does this have to do with today's post, I hear you say?  Within the last 3 weeks, I have heard at least three stories about wayward packages.  Not topiary in pots but POT.  What is going on with misguided shipments?  AND ....as I listened to these stories I envision the real owners that were expecting their shipments marching to the door and saying "Excuse me but Fedex (or UPS or whoever) said they left a package here by mistake.  You might of noticed it having an "earthy" rank odor but I assure you that it is just some medicinal herbs that I am needing for medicinal reasons. You see me sweating profusely, right?  It is just some of the symptoms of my medical condition. Could I trouble you to hand over my package, pronto."  By the way, you haven't been talking to any cops lately have you?  Just asking.

According to the real news stories, it sounds like the real owners didn't come and claim their wayward weed but it would have made for a great story.  Here are a few of what turns out to be many "wrong" deliveries of pot gone astray.

A couple of weeks ago an elderly Pennsylvania couple came home to find a package on their front porch. Not recognizing the sender, they let the package sit a few days thinking that maybe someone would come by to retrieve it.  When no one claimed the package, they opened it to find a five pound brick of high grade marijuana.  The couple turned it in to the police that traced it back to a fake address in Tollison, AZ. (Good thing the couple didn't get pulled over for a traffic stop on the way to the police station.  Yikes)

Also, in April, another delivery was made to a dentist's office in New York City.  Orthodontist, Richard Lyons was returning from a conference when he discovered a parcel had been left for him at his Dr. Toothy's Dental Office.  The package was correctly labeled to his address.  The sender was listed as Gwendoline Lyons, whom the doctor said he didn't know.  So the doctor opened the parcel to find a box containing dish soap, wet wipes and 31 pounds of marijuana.   (presumably the dish soap and wipes were to mask the fragrance Eau de Cannabis) 

Dr. Lyons also, turned his unexpected stash over to the police who said the estimated street value is around $45,000.00.  Dr. Lyons, who calls himself, King of Chinatown, said is was one of the weirdest day of his career.  (one of the weirdest?  I wonder what some of the others are?)

Still in another incident, a package containing 70 pounds of marijuana was sent to  a business in Winter Park, Fl.  The weed had a street value of $200,000.  An employee called the police to retrieve the misguided parcel.  (He may or may not be getting "Employee of the Month" depending on who the owners of the company are and if they were expecting a shipment.)

Actually, when I did a search for waylaid weed stories, there are dozens of them.  So to all of you senders of illegal drugs...or anything illegal really....you really should be doing a better job on getting your addresses correct.

But....doesn't it make you wonder how many people are finding these waylaid parcels and thinking it is just their lucky day.

The Good for the Day....Somebody in Texas has two very nice large topiary, thanks to hubby's weakness for shopping.

The Bad for the Day....When packages get lost.


The Weird for the Day....Nothing to do with today's subject but WEIRD none the less.
You may or may not of heard the controversy over the suspension of two  Ohio teens for "passing gas" on the school bus.  The story first appeared in the Columbus Dispatch but  now been picked up by national news agencies.  For those of you that haven't heard the details as of yet.   Two 13 year olds




Child discipline expert Dr. Michele Borba says that an Ohio middle school's decision to suspend 13-year-old Anthony Nichols for farting on the school bus reeks of poor judgement.