Friday, March 2, 2012

The ATF, the DEA, and the CAT

As I was looking around the Internet this week for some interesting news, I was getting concerned that maybe everyone was behaving so responsibly....dare I say, everyone was showing exemplary behavior which would result in me NOT having anything to talk about.  FAT CHANCE of that happening. 

The Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms has had a busy week.  In fact, just on the first story this morning, we can check off both ALCOHOL AND TOBACCO. 

Cigarette Smoking Can Kill You

Police say a North Carolina man is dead after drinking some gas then going outside for a cigarette.
A spokesperson for Chapel Hill N.C. said that Gary Banning set himself on fire after accidentally drinking  from a jar what he believed to be  "a beverage".  According to investigators, Gary spit out the gasoline, put on some clothes and went outside to smoke.  While the investigation is on-going, they believe that some of the gasoline remained on his body which he inadvertently ignited with his cig.  

I don't really understand the "on-going investigation" part of this story.  As people don't usually spontaneously combust, I am thinking that the answer is fairly clear.  Cigarettes and gasoline don't mix. 

There Goes the Judge

Lumpkin County Superior Court Judge David Barrett wasn't angry, but trying to make "a poor rhetorical point" when he pulled out a gun from under his bench this week.
Barrett was presiding over a sexual assault case in which a woman brought charges of rape and aggravated assault against Scott Sugarman, a former Hall County sheriff's deputy.
But when the victim took the stand to testify, Barrett told her that she was "killing her case" -- allegedly because she wasn't cooperating.  To reinforce his position, the judge said " You might as well shoot your lawyer," while extending the  gun toward  the witness.
The woman -- whose name is being withheld because she may be the victim of a sexual crime -- wasn't shocked and "thought it was a test" by Barrett to gauge her reaction. Langley claims that he objected and approached the bench to tell Barrett to put the gun down.

Seems the judge used some poor judgement and has since resigned his position.

The next story that would be under the jurisdiction of :
Is it a vegetable or a weed?

 A Florida teenager was arrested after he allegedly stole a tomato plant he mistook for marijuana.
Angela Cartwright, of Holly Hill, said she saw a 15-year-old grabbing it through her open kitchen window as she returned from walking her son to the school bus stop.
"See, I have one of your pot plants," the brazen teen allegedly yelled at her as he ran off.
"I chased him and I yelled out, "You stupid little brat, it's a tomato plant!" Cartwright told the newspaper Thursday.
Police made an arrest Wednesday after Cartwright spotted a teen she identified as the thief.

If brat boy wants a future career in the drug trade he is going to have to work on being less obvious and a class in botany wouldn't hurt.  It would have to be a remedial class for sure.

We have covered the ATF part and the DEA for the CAT part.....

Cute but Maybe NOT a Purrrrfect Candidate

A race for a US Senate seat in Virginia is heating up with the entry of a somewhat unconventional candidate entering the campaign.  Hank in some ways may not seem to be a  serious contender. Still he has shown real tenacity for overcoming adversity.  He was born to a single mother, spent time in a behind bars, sentenced to death only to be later reprieved (ok, he was in an animal shelter) and prefers to work without his clothes on.  (Well, I guess that last point  has applied to other politicians) Oh, did I mention, that he is a CAT.

Hank is running as a political Independent facing off against former governors George Allen (R) and Tim Kaine (D). Hank is not relying on his good looks to carry the votes but has an agenda for creating jobs. According to his Twitter account, Hank is also passionate about the creation of a Privacy Bill of Rights and the protection of consumer data.

"The problems we face now have been faced by Americans since this great land was founded," Hank wrote in the mission statement on his website. "Right now we need to fall back on time-tested solutions, not social theory." 

Hank has a few more hurdles to the Senate than most of the other candidates....hairballs, clean litter box and god forbid that someone takes out a laser pointer. Hey...Kitty, Kitty, focus!


Thechubbychatterbox said...

Some good laughs here. Too bad I'm not from Virginia so I can't vote for Hank the Cat. That laser-pointer comment was to die for.

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Cheryl P. said...

I thought the same thing about "to bad I can't vote for hime". I tend to like cats and not like most politicians. It would make sense.

Nicky said...

LMAO!! Laser pointer! *snort*

Cheryl P. said...

Thanks for the laugh....I was worried the non-cat people wouldn't get the laser point reference.