click, click, click.....oh yeah,... click, click,.... [time is a' wasting] .....click, click, click....
This was more of an exercise on keeping up with what's going on in the world, not actually thinking I was going to buy any of the Fashion Attrocities Currently Trending. (FACTs). I am aware that I have crossed some type of invisible line that puts me in a "NO LONGER ACCEPTABLE" zone of fashion. In case, you are not understanding due to my poor phrasing....it's not that I am no longer acceptable as being a human, but certain fashions are no longer acceptable for me to wear because I am on the far side of 30. The very, very, very, far side of thirty.
I guess the point is moot as there isn't any way that I can actually pull off, without looking ridiculous, any of the FACT stuff, anyway. It's not that I wouldn't love to be able to wear pants that have the word "Juicy" across my ass but at my age it would be perceived more creepy than cool.
Which leads me to where was the line that I crossed that made yoga pants that looked like this, totally inappropriate?
|I am pretty confident that all 50+ year |
olds have an abdomen that looks like this,
ours are just harder to locate.
|Sweats and jeans, sweats and jeans,|
|Sorry, sleeveless is "off limits".|
AND SPEAKING OF JEANS....
Women's jeans come in a lot of versions such as boot cut, jeggings, slim cut, straight leg, high waist, low rise....and the infinite mix of those such as "tall, bootcut, acid washed, low rise jeans for juniors adds up to a lot of decisions to be made. It's like ordering Starbucks but the penalty of getting the order wrong is your butt is going to look really bad for the whole world to see.
Clearly you have to decide the cut, the fit, the cost, the quality and the most important consideration is DO THEY LOOK LIKE "MOM JEANS"?????? If women just can't figure out the difference, there is a line of jeans named "It's Not Your Daughters Jeans" that sell in major department stores. They are a little pricey but they are supposed to make us feel all trendy like our daughters are, (I guess it is presumptive that our daughters are fashionistas) and the bonus (beside being all trendy) is our hoo haa isn't hanging out.
Again, I hear the collective "WTH...from you men out there. I know, I know...you are thinking " What difference does that make?" Just go ask your, wives, your girlfriends, and/or the girls that are friends, and they will tell you this is important. It is the fashion law that women "of a certain age" no longer are "supposed" (highly advised not to) wear something that looks like this:
If this was gender equality, there really should be "tall, low rise, young macho jeans" for the young guys and everyone over 30ish should be "suggested" to wear "daddy jeans".
As it is, you guys just seem to buy jeans...not age specified jeans, or "pre or post" parenting jeans...just jeans.
How you look in jeans, might be another story.
Which might require some honesty from those around you.
So off I go to find age appropriate clothing and put my feet in my Keds... while I strive to be trendy and cool.