Thursday, May 3, 2012

Mixed Nuts

Another week of weirdness.  I think we can all agree that  there just isn't a shortage of weird.  As the big news events are hashed over and over and OOOOVVVVEEEERRRRR, there are those few stories that just are too bizarre to imagine that they aren't  fictional.  As the old saying goes, "Truth is stranger than fiction." 
Well, here are some truths.

Am I Done Yet?

Our first news story comes out of Nutley, New Jersey. (heh, heh, see..I am already amused...nutly) Patricia Krentcil is making the rounds on the morning news programs this week, denying that she took her 5 year old daughter to a tanning salon.

Leather makes better purses than mommies

Patricia says she has been tanning her whole life and she loves to tan. (I don't think anyone is prepared to argue with her on that point, judging from her picture) The problem arose this week when a teacher reported her for an incident that allegedly happened earlier in the week that resulted with Patricia's 5 year old daughter having a severe sunburn. When the little girl showed up at school suffering from the sunburn, school personnel notified the local authorities. 

Krentcil was arrested and posted a $25,000 bail. Patricia maintains that her daughter got the burn from being outside in the sun with the family.  On TV interviews she said that the girl went with her to the tanning salon but wasn't in the booth.

New Jersey law prohibits children under the age of 14 to use tanning salons.

I think I would just go for the insanity defense on this one.  Clearly, if this chick thinks her tan is attractive...she is insane.

Grandparents of the Year Award...Not Likely

According to the Sarasota County Sheriff's office, Paul and Belinda Berloni were spotted by a deputy towing their 7 year old grand daughter behind their SUV.  The little girl was in a toy car that they had attached to their vehicle with dog leashes.  Wearing just a bathing suit, no helmet the grandparents were taking her for a little joy ride.

Paul and Belinda admitted to the authorities that they had been drinking. Paul Berloni, who was doing the driving, had no valid driver's license as it had been revoked for 3 previous DUI convictions.  (I don't think that is going to help his case.) 

Son Justin Oetting was unamused when he arrived to pick up his daughter, who was unharmed. "Are you f-----g stupid? You should know better," he said to his mother before telling the deputy he thought the pair had a drinking problem.

The Berlonis were each charged with one count of child endangerment, and Paul Berloni is being held on additional charges of driving under the influence and driving with a suspended license.

As to their son Justin's question..."Are you F****** stupid?"  Affirmative!

All He Wants For Christmas Is His 32 Teeth

Marek Olszewski made an appointment with his ex-girlfriend, a dentist, for a toothache. 

Anna Mackowiak, the ex, is now being charged and facing jail time for surgically removing all of Marek's teeth. 

According to the report, Mackowiak allegedly did what any irate ex-girlfriend with a set of pliers and some anesthetic would do: she doped him up, pulled out all his teeth, and wrapped his head with bandages so he wouldn't notice until he left her office.

"I tried to be professional and detach myself from my emotions," she told a local news affiliate. "But when I saw him lying there I just thought, 'What a b-----d.'" (now a toothless ba****d,  it would seem)

Olszewski could tell something was wrong when he awoke and couldn't feel any teeth in his mouth. But he said Mackowiak assured him that he'd be fine once the numbness wore off, "I didn't have any reason to doubt her -- I mean I thought she was a professional," he said

Marek, you are as naive as a new born babe and now you have the same number of teeth.  An interesting twist to the story was the toothless boyfriend said they had just broken up 3 days prior to the incident.  Just 3 days...but went on to say, his new girlfriend has dumped him because of his lack of teeth.  That explains a lot.

 Small Business Explodes onto Guy's Business

According to News On 6, a working meth lab exploded in the pants of David Williams during a scuffle with police.  (yes, you read that correctly...IN HIS PANTS!)

The Oklahoma State Patrol, pulled David and a female friend over for speeding in Okmulgee County, OK. When the officer asked about a chemical smell coming from the car, Williams tried to flee.

After a brief (no pun intended) altercation, it was determined that there was an ACTIVE meth lab in David's pants that irrupted during the struggle.  Trooper Shiloh Hall told News On 6, that portable meth labs are "incredibly dangerous, because they require putting "chemical ingredients in a single container, then flipping it upside down to mix it. The built-up pressure makes the mixture highly explosive."

Williams was arrested for manufacturing a controlled and dangerous substance and that the female driver of the car was also apprehended.

If you are an entrepreneur and you have to stick your product in your pants, be forewarned, there is a risk of your business failing, if not falling off entirely.


Thechubbychatterbox said...

That guy was nuts to go to a dentist he'd just broken up with. I've heard this story before and keep wondering if she was prosecuted.

Cheryl P. said...

I think I read that she was charged with something but I don't recall what. Is there a law against just being a revengeful bitch? But the guy share's in the blame for being so stupid as to go to her for dental work. I am surprised these to morons broke up. Seems like they are MFEO.

Kimberly said...

The tanning mom is absolutely ridiculous. She looks like a baseball glove. And I don't get why the son of the drunken grandparents would trust his kid with them. Obviously they're such upstanding people. Oy.

Dan_gist said...

That drunk might be getting "rear ended" by a guy named Bubba soon.
No matter how wired that meth dealer gets, he probably won't be doing any quickies soon.
That lady is having earth day on her face.

Cheryl P. said...

Funny line "earth day on her face" Wish I would of thought of that!

Maybe meth man and drunk guy can be roomies.

Don E. Chute said...

Sounds like these NUTS are ready for their own Reality Show, right?

PLU from Sunny South Florida

Cheryl P. said... are so right. The TV programmers must of missed these or offers are still in negotiation. The tanning mom is getting a lot of air time on talk shows though.

Whitney Soup said...

in his pants?!

Cheryl P. said...

Yes, in his pants...what a wackadoodle! My son and I were talking about this and decided that the idiot might as well put a stick of dynamite in his jeans. He was lucky he didn't have more damage than he did.

Jayne said...

You got some good ones this week. What the hell's with men sticking explosives down their drawers? Testosterone really is the stupid drug, isn't it. And the father who called his parents "fucking stupid..." You mean he didn't know they had a problem with the sauce before he left his kids there? People should need a license to breed. So many wackos, so little time...

Cheryl P. said...

Jayne, I swear (actually I do...a lot) that you and I would be great pals if we lived near each other. I said the same sentances, nearly word for word, when I was talking to hubby about these stories. There are times it's just embarassing to think we are the same species as these idiots. Or maybe there is a sub-species...let's hope so.

Jayne said...

I would love to hang with you, Cheryl. If you're ever near Santa Barbara, California, send up a flare. Wouldn't it be the most fun to have a slumber party with Linda? We have to work that out.

meleahrebeccah said...

That crazy tanning lady totally sounds like she's drunk & coked up in her interviews. Whether or not she really brought her child into a tanning bed is yet to be proved. However, she is CLEARLY insane, and I truly do FEAR for her daughter!

PS: She makes SNOOKIE look HEALTHY.