After all the countdowns, markdowns, and breakdowns, Christmas is behind us for a year. You would think that shopping would be the last thing anyone would want to do at this point. WRONG! According to the people that track this sort of statistic, they tell us that the day after Christmas nearly rivals Black Friday. So why doesn't this day have a name in the U.S.?? Perhaps we need to think of something more original that "the day after Christmas".
I am VERY much in favor of adding another holiday to the celebratory list as surely, there could never be too many holidays. I am thinking the day after Christmas should be a REAL holiday. I would suggest this should be a "paid day" off, but of course, this couldn't include anyone employed in retail sales. Just add this "no holiday for you" to the list of reasons your job sucks.
I guess we could follow the lead of our friends in the UK (and others) and call it Boxing Day. Unfortunately, the word "boxing" seems to confuse Americans. Historically, this was the day that people gave gifts to servants and tradesmen but has morphed into another shopping day for the masses. We probably, need to come up with something original for Americans to convey the day's sole and true purpose....picking at the bones of the cheapest of the cheap sales merchandise. It would appear that anything will sell if it becomes cheap enough.
My regular readers might remember that I HATE SHOPPING! There is never an instance I enjoy shopping. I force myself to go into stores as I need things and even that is after I have looked to make sure it is not available to be ordered online. So I usually am not enticed by these types of ads.
|open early to get the last "best" deal|
|Only 60 percent?? Surely 75% is in order after Christmas.|
It seems to be that I am the "unfun" family member...well... at least as far as shopping goes. The rest of my brood doesn't share this post Christmas vestige of hum-buggery. They, in fact, are getting ready, as I type this to go see what's left.
A couple of years ago in my effort to be a team player around here, I went along for the ride. Our first stop was Macy's at the mall. We arrived as the doors were being unlocked at 7 AM. The lines had already formed for the race up to the 3rd floor Christmas Department. After nudging, pushing and maneuvering my way to the ornaments, I did find a couple of pretty things that were 70% off. Whhooo Hooooo! Look at me, the non-shopper finding a bargain. About the time I was feeling rather proud of myself, disaster struck. My husband spotted a tree on clearance. You would have to know my husband but the words "FINAL CLEARANCE" has the same draw as heroine does to an addict. (this is an assumption on my part as I haven't ever been a heroine addict).
Anyway...hubby spots a 12 foot beauty of a tree that is like 90 percent off. We buy "fake" trees as I am allergic to nearly everything associated with nature. (don't get all judgey until you have sneezed your way through the 12 days of Christmas). At this point of the story...I remind him we have a very nice tree at home. BUT THIS IS 90% OFF!! he quickly responds.
(Sidebar: Whether it is Christmas or not...in my husband's world, anything that is more the 75 percent off, whether we need it or not...whether we have one or not...whether we have room for it or not...it must be bought because....IT WAS A DEAL!!)
After I pulled out the WE DON'T NEED IT card, he pulled out the I AM JUST GOING TO ASK THE CASHIER HOW MANY ARE IN STOCK card and proceeds to get into the line of a gazillion people.
(Sidebar: To all younger, less savvy, newlywed types: Be warned...never fall for the "I am just going to ask questions" line. It is a smoke and mirror tactic.)
|click to enlarge|
Yes, indeedy...the tree in yesterday's post is THE TREE. What you can't see is that even with 12 foot ceilings, that sucker scrapes the ceiling because there is a stand involved.
So for today, husband is getting ready to leave for the hunt of "deals." I am not. Post-Christmas hum-buggery is alive and well.
In honor of the "shoppers among us" I have written a poem. This isn't me, of course, as I neither shop nor drink...but I can pretend.
Tis the day after Christmas and the house is a wreck.
Sh**, I said the word Christmas. That's no longer correct.
Should of said "holidays, that's PC instead.
What in the hell is this pain in my head?
I can't lay around, I have to get on the ball.
There are sales happening down at the mall.
The day after "Christmas"..sh**, I now said it twice.
Not having this hangover would be very nice.
I am up and I'm moving. I'm no longer lying.
The fact that I'm mobile means I am probably not dying.
So off to the mall with my charge cards I go.
For more crap I don't need, but the prices are low.
There's bound to be shoes, and other cool stuff.
There's absolutely no truth to "enough is enough".
The cards all have room yet, at least I hope so.
The bills aren't due yet, so my husband won't know.
Christmas is past us at least for this year.
I have time to recover from the Holiday Cheer.
Hungover and broke...sure..but what better reason,
than one final spree to round out the season.