Friday, December 14, 2012

Shouldn't They Be Out Shopping?

I would think that there would be no weird news this week because everyone should be otherwise occupied getting ready for the holidays.  I guess there is still time to get in a bad decision or two.

Over Her Dead Body

 A Nebraska man has been accused of impersonating a funeral director. (who knew that this was such a problem that there are actual laws against it?)

Terry Kruthals went to a mortuary about two weeks ago pretending to be a mortician. He told the an employee of Wadlow Rozanke Funeral Home in Lincoln, NE,  that he was a representative of the family of one of the deceased in their care.

The body of an ex-girlfriend was at the funeral home and Terry was trying to retrieve an engagement ring he had given her with an estimated current value of around $500.00. However, when the funeral director asked Terry a few work related questions, he appeared nervous which prompted the police to be called.

Kurtzhals was arrested for impersonating a funeral director but upon further investigation several additional charges were added. 

I think this poor dead girl is the unluckiest person I have ever read about.  It's bad enough...dying and all.... but she was engaged to a shmuck.  He gave her a  $500.00  engagement ring set AND then wanted to swipe the engagement ring off her poor dead finger.  Also, it must be noted, if you feel the need to pretend to be a mortician, there might be a quiz.

Last One Standing Gets the Beer

Vanessa Robinson was charged with aggravated assault after she allegedly cut her boyfriend numerous times because he was trying to leave her apartment with the last beer..a Colt 45 to be specific.

The altercation happened in Hempfield Township, PA.  The boyfriend, James Gallone, had purchased the beer and when it was time to leave, assumed it was his.  He assumed wrong.

According to the Pennsylvania State Police, when Vanessa realized that James was taking the last beer, she started kicking and pushing before grabbing a knife. James was unable to disarm her and ended up in the hospital with non-life threatening injuries.  Vanessa ended up in jail.

Call me a skeptic but this relationship might be doomed.  If they stay together, James better share the beer and hide the knives.

Very Expensive Breast Augmentation

Police in Spain arrested at the Barcelona airport was hiding more than 3 pounds of cocaine in her breast implants.

Perhaps she had a tattoo that triggered their suspicions

The woman arriving from Columbia was detained after security noticed two recent surgical scars under her breasts. The woman was taken to the hospital where it was discovered that there was cocaine in her implants. Some had seeped into her blood stream.

After reading several articles in my quest to find out what tipped authorities off, ABC news said that security noticed white patches under her fresh surgical wounds.  Huh?  While I am still not entirely clear why they would be checking out her breasts, it must be noted that being tidy is always a good thing. 

May Your Christmas Be Merry and Bright...No... Nix the Bright

A Wichita, Kansas man got a ticket on Tuesday.David Hill decked out his pickup for the holidays.  HO HO, OH NO...He got stopped and ticketed.

David had decked out his truck to bring attention to his charity, One Spark. The charity provides holiday joy to the less fortunate around Wichita by providing food, coats and toys for the needy.

So when he covered his pickup truck with lights a couple of weeks ago, he thought it would bring some cheer to people.

Surprise, Surprise!  David got stopped and given a $274.00 ticket.  According to Police lieutenant Joe Schroeder, it's an issue of safety.  He believes that people will be distracted by the colorful truck and accidents will follow.

856 lights and one ticket later

I think the Wichita Police department just made Santa's naughty list.


Lia said...

Oh god, the funeral one was just so fucked up. Really?! Really?!!!! Your girlfriend dies and all you can think about is making a buck or 500. That is super fucked. I don't even... no...

I just have to say about the beer one, was she high? Over a beer? Really? Sid and Nancy but with beer. By the way I spat out my coffee all over my computer after I saw your picture. "Last warning!" haha

I feel bad for the guy with the lights... Good intentions always pave the road to hell...

The breast implant thing is also just disgusting. I literally had chills when I read the cocaine entered her bloodstream. But yeah haha why were they looking at her breasts?! Depravity 1, Drug Trafficking 0.

Cheryl P. said...

If you and I ever met for lunch we would seriously find that we agree on about everything. Of course, everyone in the restaurant would assume I am your mother or your mother's older sister.

Yes, the fake mortician is a total jackass. And seriously what kind of wedding set (that's what the report we are talking engagement ring and wedding band)
does $500 buy. Then to try to get it back after the poor girl died.

Well, it was the last beer..perhaps out of a 24 pack, let's just assume she was drunk.

Yes, I did too feel bad for the guy with the lights. Sure I can see where it could be distracting to other drivers but they could have given him a warning first.

The boob story is gross and bizarre. How is it that they saw the surgical wounds? I have a lot of questions on that story but none of the articles gave very clear answers. The ones that did were too disgusting to really post about. The drug mule girl is lucky she got arrested or she might of overdosed.

Lia said...

Yes we need to meet for lunch! Someday!

Oh I didn't understand that engagement set part. WOW really?! Ugh What a douche!!!!!! said...

In my opinion this is really awesome

Cheryl P. said...

Hi Milex, I hope you mean the truck is awesome not the sicko trying to pry the ring off a dead finger. I love that you came over to visit. You live in the UK, right?? Are people this crazy over there?

Chubby Chatterbox said...

I wouldn't have thought that a can of Colt 45 was worth dying over. These two need to go their separate ways.

Cheryl P. said...

You wouldn't think so. Maybe while Vanessa is drying out in jail, the couple will rethink theiir relationship...or maybe when she gets out they will go by a 6 pack. Hard to say.

Nicky said...

Trying to take the ring off his dead ex's finger? Terry sounds like the kind of guy that would take the last beer too... wait, are Terry and Vanessa related?

As for why the authorities were checking out her breasts... what else would they be checking out?! Seriously, I'm a woman and I can't stop checking them out!!

Ok, seriously, the Witchita police couldn't just give him a warning? It was for charity, after all. Let me guess, the Chief of Police is Ebenezer Scrooge?

Katherine Murray said...

I don't know where to begin!!!! What did the engaged girl die from... I'm JUST SAYIN! Geez could he not ask for the ring from her parents? He could lie! "It is to remember her by!" (cashing it in a week or two later...)

BOOBIES FILLED WITH COKE. FOR REAL!?!? What woman would go through surgery like that only to have them cut open AGAIN! FOR DRUGS?!? I am AMAZED.

And the truck with lights. I love that man. Couldn't the police officer have given him a warning? I mean really? A ticket? REALLY??!

L.C. Griffith said...

Cheryl, I have to say that after this week in news your post was a delight to read. Seeping boobs and twinkling trucks brought me happily back to the idiocy of a normal day in the daily news. I like that;)

Cheryl P. said...

Maybe Terry and Vanessa should pair up. They might think a lot alike. I would still recommend knives be hidden around Vanessa.

No where could I find pictures of the real person that got stopped. I wonder if her breasts were worth noticing. I suspect with 3 pounds of coke in there ...probably.

I agree...Ebenezer for sure.

Cheryl P. said...

That story with the engaged girl peaked my curiosity. I looked all over to find out what the story was. Nothing could be found. I hope it wasn't terribly tragic. Still whatever it was, what kind of ex tries to get the ring back.

One of the articles said this is getting common to hide drugs in boobs. What is wrong with our world???

That was my thought as well. A warning would of made their point. Bah Humbug.

Cheryl P. said...

Yes, Leah, I agree. The normal stupid frivolous idiocy seems like light reading when stacked against real crime. How can there be such evil in our world? It makes me very sad.