Recently, I met with an Intellectual Property Attorney concerning the matter of someone "stealing" my stuff. Now, I know some of you out there are going "Really? Who in the hell would want any of her crap?" All I can say in my defense, is some people have absolutely no taste and would steal anything if they could make a dime off of it. As far as my "stuff" for the most part I just want the user to say where they got it from. Even STDs get blamed on someone.
I have noticed recently, however, some of the late night talk shows are using material that I have read on various blogs. I, also, notice that the blogs were printed far ahead of the comics using the "word for word" content. I am thinking some of you clever bloggers out there are unpaid writers for the biggies of TV.
But it does bring up the whole issue of Trademarks and Copyrights. I am not on board the cheating bus but I do want to own the "it's all mine" bus.
THEREFORE: I am thinking I need to start Trademarking and Copyrighting some things. (be warned you blog thief's out there!!! I am copyrighted on my current conflicted drivel.)
You have to know if Donald Trump can go after the copyright for the phrase "YOU'RE FIRED". I can go after a few phrases of some notoriety that no one happens to own the right to YET.
Before I get into the part about the phrases I want to become the registered owner of, let's look at the new applications for copyrights.
Charlie Sheen is back in the news. You would think the big story for Charlie would be his moronic behavior and his ridiculous show, however, one of the big stories is the fact he is going after the trademarks on his "catch phrases". This is the real story of what your mind does when it is on drugs, it apparently comes up with stupid catch phrases that can be marketed.
Charlie's Brain on Drugs
The I.P. attorney is being a little evasive on the entire list of the 22 phrases that are in questions but these are listed:
Vatican Assassin
Tiger Blood
Rock Star from Mars
I'm not Bi-Polar, I am Bi-Winning
Duh, Winning
Adonis DNA
Sober Valley Lodge (ok, I am thinking that he deserves that one)
Sheen's Goddesses
Violent Torpedo of Truth
Defeat Is Not an Option (that one sounds vaguely familiar, doesn't it?)
I am conflicted (of course) on his actual rights to any of these phrases with maybe the exception of the Sober Valley Lodge, but I do see where the marketing could bring him some cash. Who wouldn't find the irony in buying drug paraphernalia with the phrase "Duh, Winning" on it. The "Rock Star from Mars" has a certain double entendre quality when used with his other phrase "I was banging 7 oz. rocks that would have killed normal people". Truly, why isn't he selling T-shirts with that phrase on it?" (maybe he already is and I am just out to the loop)
I guess we can't fault the guy for trying...Oh wait...sure we can. This really isn't any worse than when Paris Hilton (another of my faves, I say while sticking my fingers down my throat) trademarking "That's Hot! In Paris' case it actually put her in the position to sue Hallmark cards for using that phrase in some greeting cards.
The Jersey Shore cast tried to trademark all their names. Unfortunately for Snooki, her name is too close to a cartoon cat named Snooky, so her request was denied. The Situation was also, denied because of a line of shoes that are named Situation. (the THE didn't help). The one cast member, supposedly, that did get her name trademarked was J-WOWW. So be warned if you go around using J-WOWW without the proper permission you are in trouble.
The other celeb that went after a trademark was Sarah Palin. Her application was denied, however, because she forgot to sign her name on the application. I just think that is so funny. Really, sending an application for a trademark on your name and forgetting to sign your name. (heh heh)
What might I want to Trademark you say?? I want to trademark the phrase "I'm just sayin". I have noticed it's presence everywhere. So...I want to own the rights to it.
BE WARNED! In the future, if I have my way, you will be paying me for the use of that phrase.
I'M JUST SAYIN'
The Good for the Day...Great blog reading this morning. Gosh, there are clever people out there.
The Bad for the Day... I am feeling a little less crabby this morning than normal so let's not ruin it with a bad.
The Weird for the Day...For those of you that aren't already aware April 20th is National Pot Smoking Day.
In today's KC Star there is a warning that extra police are on duty to scout out the celebrants of NPSD.
Gosh, I am glad they brought the holiday to my attention. I wouldn't of known otherwise.
Let's meet at the water cooler and take a much deserved break... (as you might remember from last Friday, it will be our on-going task to take "casual" Friday down to "slothful" Friday. Anything more difficult than sitting, talking, eating or breathing is putting forth way too much effort.
What are this week's chit-chat worthy stories? HHUUUMMM.....what shall we talk about today??
Well, there is the Denver medical marijuana dispensary that is giving a free pre-rolled marijuana cigarette to anyone that is qualified and brings in 4 cans of food for the local food bank.
Urban Cannabis is going to be giving away a ton of joints for a ton of food. This offer is going to run till April 20th or until they have reached their goal of 2000 pounds. So far they have only collected 330 cans of food. (Well..really...they just started...let's give it a chance.)
Amy Dulullo, sales director of Urban Cannabis, said they aren't doing any advertising other than word of mouth but she expects the food drive to pick up momentum when the word gets out.
I have no idea how the Colorado qualification process works but I am pretty sure that if some of the other state's residents could qualify for some of those free joints, there would be people lined up for miles to get some of Urban Cannabis' premium blend, Chem Dawg. There would be 18 wheelers haulin can goods to Denver as we speak. I wonder if they have a limit per customer? If not, one qualified person with a semi could land themselves all 2000 joints.
Another something we could discuss:
Oh, also, in the news.....David Schubert, the Chief Deputy District Attorney of Las Vegas, was arrested after police witnessed an alleged drug transaction. Seems that David picked up a drug dealer, Raymond Streeter, who upon his arrest said he had been selling crack cocaine to Schubert for 7-8 months.
Turns out the Chief Deputy DA Schubert, who got some media attention for prosecuting Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars for cocaine possession, has his own problems. (being a hypocrite, for one thing) When David's car was searched, he not only had some rock cocaine, he also was in possession of semi-automatic handgun, 2 boxes of bullets and 2 magazines of ammunition.
District Attorney, David Rogers said he thought this was a shame as this is the person he has had assigned to the Federal Drug Task Force for the last 2 years. He went on to say "His future is bleak with the district attorney's office." (no kidding, ya think this might hurt his chance for a promotion?)
Just a thought...he should hire David Chesnoff, the attorney that represented both Paris Hilton and Bruno Mars. Mr. Chesnoff got both of his clients off with just probation. They didn't have all the guns and ammo though. Not looking good for the Chief.
I know some of you are tired of this one, but a few new happenings in Charlie's world.
A few new updates in the Charlie Sheen antics. I know you all say you are sick of him but he keeps adding sold out venues for his tour so obviously somebody out there is interested.. (I am just the messenger. Don't want you not to be in the loop.) He now has over 20 shows lined up.
This week he is moving out of Sober Valley Lodge and moving into a house he bought 2 doors down from Paris Hilton. This should be interesting. Charlie and the Goddesses can have rock parties...oh, I mean block parties, and borrow white powdery substances like sugar and "such" from each other. I bet the neighbors in that community are really excited about getting some new fun neighbors.
Also, CBS has come out with news that they are opening negotiations to get Charlie back on the set of "Two and a Half Men". When the figures came out how much money that show was hauling in, it inspired a whole new attitude. That attitude is one of forgiveness and tolerance. I guess that little video of Donald Trump telling us that you can behave any way you want if you have a hit show is turning out to be true. Crap, I hate when Trump is proven right.
Last but not least for this week.
The domain name sex (dot) com has sold. It is being reported in some news releases it sold for $14 Million while others are saying $13 Million. Either way it sold for a WHOLE LOT OF DOUGH! (notice I did not type it with the . because I know how some of you are.) Didn't want to lose you with a click. Stay focused!!!
OK, now we can all get back to our computers and waste some more of our work day. Let's find us some domain names that will sell for MILLIONS of dollars down the road. Surely there are a few bad, nasty, interesting words that no one has thought to dot com yet.
The good for the day.....Spring has arrived.
The bad for the day...... Spring, I am talking to you....it's past March 20th...straighten up and act like SPRING.
The Weird for the Day......Chris Brown was sent to anger management classes as part of his sentencing after assaulting his "then" girlfriend, Rihanna. This week he was upset with a Good Morning America interview and threw a chair into a window. The broken window splintered down onto a pedestrian sidewalk, although no one was injured. I think, whoever Chris paid for those anger management classes, needs to give him a full refund. They didn't work.
Speaking of Bruno Mars....He can be our entertainment today.
Let's all pretend we are working together today ...you know...at the same office. It's casual Friday. The boss is out of the office. We collectively have decided we are not going to accomplish anything productive.
In fact, we are going to perfect "screwing around". This, too, can become an art form.
What shall we talk about??
Well, there's the third release of Vanessa Hudgen's nudey pictures. This time she is nude and making out with a girl co-star. As of yesterday, she is saying she is shocked. She doesn't know where these pictures are coming from. I may be conflicted but I am not stupid. How shocked can she be? She had to of known when you are taking pictures naked with a co-star, they will get "out". (by the way, let's put her on our "bus heading for the cliff" for being less than forthright.)
Then there is the Gilbert Godfrey fallout. For his "over the line" tweets that were highly inappropriate during a tragic event, there seems to be some controversy. There are a number of comedians that are coming to his defense, saying that this is what comedians do. That Godfrey's form of comedy always was offensive and therefore expected. (guess if you are in the habit of being an ass it allows you to get a pass for being an ass) Never the less, Bob Saget, Joan Rivers, and Whoopi Golberg to name a few, felt that it wasn't fair for AFLEC to fire the man for being exactly who he has always been. I did find it interesting that when Whoopi was on the View discussing how she felt that being AFLEC knew when they hired him he was a putz (my word, not hers) why did they expect that he wouldn't be inappropriate. AND..as she read the offensive tweets some of the audience laughed. Some people are NUTS.
While these comedians can discuss how it was Godfey's schtick to be this inappropriate, I guess that AFLEC has the right to employ or not someone who is not representing them in the way they want to be represented.
Then there is the "he who I won't name" (but his initials are CS). I got a couple rather harsh "tongue lashing" comments from a couple of blogees, saying they "WERE SICK TO DEATH" of hearing about you-know-who. But you-know-who sold out, not one, but two venues (Chicago and Detroit) for a tour called the Violent Torpedo of Truth Tour. Then went on to add "performances" in Cleveland, Columbus, two shows in New York City, Wallington, CT, Atlantic City and Boston. These ticket go between $79.50 and $519 or you can get a Meet and Greet ticket for $750. There may be a few blogees that don't ever want to hear his name but there are some ticket buyers with deep pockets that are fine with it.
Last and certainly the least this week, we are hearing about how poor Michaele Salahi who is making the rounds, feels betrayed and humiliated after being booted out of Celebrity Rehab. Dr. Drew kicked her off of the next cast as he made the determination that she isn't an addict but she is a drama queen. Yes, that is pretty much what he said. She is on various media venues crying (literally) that she feels betrayed. WTF !! Did it not occur to her that Celebrity Rehab requires that she be addicted to something. Well...besides stupidity ...and trying to climb up the fame ladder in hooker heels. One last thought. Isn't appearing on Celebrity Rehab just basic training for being humiliated.
OK, that should keep us from getting any work done for awhile. Besides it's almost lunch time. Let's take a long lunch today.
Talk to you later blogees.
Oh, if you think of any other frivolous stuff we can talk about at the water cooler today tweet me @veryconflicted or email me at artofconflicted@aol.com
The good for the day...Hopefully, tomorrow is a day off for most of us.
The bad for the day...insensitive people
The Weird for the day...Did you catch Jay Leno last night. He had the YouTube clip with the cheerleader going ape sh** over the win. Do you suppose he is reading my blog???? Let's hope so. If you need to see it again click the They Got It From Me post on the sidebar to the right.
Let's waste a little more time watching Simon the Cat. It's better than working.
I have two thoughts regarding the "alleged" firing of Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men.
A. The show has probably run its course, anyway, as Charlie's character has gotten ridiculous and looks like crap.
B. The real loss in that senario is that I would have one less vanity card every week to giggle at.
Just to tide us all over are two of the Two and a Half Men vanity cards.
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #281
:-)
Sideways Smiley Face
(1982-2010)
Sideways Smiley Face died on March 14, 2010, surrounded by his loved ones. The cause of death was over-use. Born on a Computer Science on-line bulletin board at Carnegie Mellon University, Mr. Face devoted his life to pointing out that the previous sentence was meant to be funny. He also gained worldwide recognition for his tireless efforts as a glib substitute for the words “I’m amused.” His other interests included frowning and winking. He is survived by his children, Sideways Surprised Face, Sideways Glasses Face, Sideways Abraham Lincoln Face, Sideways Santa Claus Face, Sideways Pope Face, and, of course, his beloved wife, XOXO. In lieu of flowers, Mr. Face’s family has requested that people use actual words to express their feelings.
CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #288
Over the years, CBS executives have always been very generous when it comes to sharing their ideas as to how I might better do my job. I have never returned the favor regarding how they might run their network. Until now. Now I have a really good idea. Step One: Create an internal division with workers who do nothing but check out the claims of prospective advertisers. And I mean really check them out. If it's a car, have somebody drive it around to see if it accelerates into walls or slow-moving pedestrians for no particular reason. If it's beer, have someone drink it and report back if it gets them laid. If it's a pill, have someone take it for awhile, then wait to see if they grow a tail, get anal leakage, or commit suicide. Step Two: Quality control. All commercials must be aesthetically pleasing, seriously funny, poignant, or dramatic. Any commercials deemed loud, stupid and/or obnoxious are not aired. Period. No exceptions. Step Three: Tell the world that CBS only airs the coolest and most honest commercials. It's always Superbowl Sunday at CBS! Step Four: Watch the money roll in. A Final Thought: Don't worry about the initial loss of income created by dropping the dumb stuff (e.g. Cockney lizards who sell insurance). You'll more than make that money back by demanding that your high-quality advertisers cut you in for a piece of their action. You have, after all, earned it by giving them the CBS seal of approval. Another Final Thought: If you adopt my idea, my consulting fee is one million shares of CBS stock. Or better yet, one hundred shares of Apple stock.
Well, it turns out that Charlie Sheen is still running his mouth non-stop in interviews. Seems that no one is immune to watching the growing lists of "Charlieisms". The publishers of various Quotationaries (yes, there are books of nothing but quotes) are getting new material by the bucket full, today. I did happen to pull out my own version of Webster's Wit and Humor Quotationary, just to make sure Charlie wasn't already being quoted from some earlier escapades. No, he's not in there. The only Sheen in the book is Fulton Sheen. But if we are reaching for a quote, there is one of Fulton Sheen's quotes that sounds like something Charlie would have said today. "Jealousy is the tribute mediocrity pays to genius".
So, blogees, I have noticed that some of Charlies quotes are being marketed today in various forms. Bunny cards with quotes, Kitten cards with quotes and so forth. Money to be made. Pure gold.
Because there is still the ABC interview tonight, I am holding off with my picks for the best of the quotes in various categories. Here are a few of the awards that will be given but there will be others I am sure. He is after all, STILL TALKING
A. Totally Delusional Award
B. Nugget of Truth Award
C. I Can't Even Believe You Said That Award
D. The Most Stupid quote by the Goddesses Award
E. Most Offensive to the Average Person Award
Check in tomorrow for the awards show: The CODIP Awards (not to be confused with Displaced Idiot Politicians from past post but CODIP awards are for Coming Off Drugs Isn't Pretty)
So, blogees, to tide us over till tomorrow. I have another little issue to be discussed. (along with a story, of course)
For those following along, let's go back to 19 moves ago, 20 houses ago** hubby and I moved to Moline, Illinois. Evidently, I looked incredibly young and stupid at the time as the manager of the 3rd floor walk up that we had rented asked me if I knew what a garbage disposal was. HMMM (offense taken).
Anyway, I got a job at IBM working in the area where we did key punch for various customers. (the early version of contract workers) I was in a fairly small office working as a key punch operator for a farming co-op that is no longer in business. Let's hope that my career at IBM didn't have some direct impact on the co-op's demise.
I will assume that maybe most of you out in cyberspace don't understand how data was keyed into these machines, that is unless you were one of the unfortunate souls that had to resort to the world's most boring job, as I did . You typed information on a keyboard that caused the machine to punch a series of codes into little data cards. The cards were loaded into trays and at the end of the day they were sent down to a data reader.
In other words, you would be typing just like we do on a keyboard today but you had no way of seeing errors. You just saw cards with a lot of little holes.
very cool technology in it's day
One particular day I had spent all day typing, loaded my tray, and sent it down to the data readers ONLY to find the next morning that there were some errors that I had made and had to start from the beginning to figure out where the erroneous punches were made. As I started OVER, I mumbled the horrifically bad bad word S**T. At that point in my life I didn't realize a word starting with F even existed or that might have been the word I used. Very young and very naive
On with the story...one of my co-workers who prided herself on being the nicest, purest, most wholesome individual on the planet, all but went into a dead faint. OMG, how could she work with someone this vulgar?
Now, for my part, I was not having any of it. I was having a bad day and not willing to take crap off of her. So, I say to her. What is the difference of me saying S**T and you saying the word crap (which was her go-to swear word). According to her "crap" isn't a swear word. It is more the equivalent of "darn" or "heck". I beg to differ, I say. If you are angry and say crap is it any worse for me to say S**T.
So today, I looked up on the Internet "Is crap a bad word?" (not because I am just getting around to it but I keep hearing it touted around lately) Turns out a lot of polls have been done on this and the decision is NO it is NOT.(tacky yes, bad no) Take into account that this isn't 1971 anymore and we have grown by leaps and bounds in our ability to swear.
Now what got this all started for me was that a couple of weeks ago, I needed some window defogger. After searching around for various products, I found Cat Crap Defogger that is manufactured for use by skiers to use on their goggles/glasses (whatever skiers call those lenses on their face). I am thinking what an interesting name for a product. Just think of all the advertising campaign opportunities.
In the mean time I am doing some of my power TV watching with pal TIVO and discover, not one, but 2 new versions of that word. I heard the word craptabulous (in the Urban dictionary as staggeringly and fancifully lousy) and craptacular (also in the dictionary as the highest level of crappy). Who knew????
To bring home all of this craptastic info, I was listening to Orrin Hatch's interview this morning on NBC.
And low and behold:
"Every state has different demographics, every state has different problems," Hatch said, according to a Utah Statesman report published Monday. "It's good to allow them to work out their own problems rather than a one-size-fits-all federal government, dumb-ass program. It really is an awful piece of crap."
I heard that he later apologized. Too bad, he didn't need to as far as I am concerned. If he was passionate about what he was saying, it is far far from being the worst thing he could have said.
MY THEORY...The real test of whether you are swearing is "what is your intent?"
If hubby does something that is really ticking me off and I say you are a F****** moron??? Now that is swearing !!! That might be a bad example as I don't think he has ever ticked me off to that extent. Are you reading this, honey????
As opposed to, he has told the funniest joke EVER and while I am laughing hysterically say, honey, you are a F****** moron. That is not swearing.
**This is based on the 21 moves after marriage AM. This is how we measure time at our house. We calculate where we lived at the time and then we can figure the year. Very handy tool..
I happened to notice when I was browsing through new releases today. There is a song
"What are Words?" How perfect of a title to go with my subject today. Of course, it has nothing to do with bad words....oh well...
HERE'S TO A REALLY STAND UP GUY!! HOPE HIS NEW SINGLE TAKES OFF LIKE A ROCKET!!
The good for the day......Actually worked my real job today (realtor). It only partially sucked.
The bad for the day.....I have been super busy but haven't gotten everything done that I wanted to. Thank goodness tomorrow is another opportunity.
The Weird for the day....Speaking of bad words...did you realize that the words dammit I'm mad spelled backwards is dammit I'm mad. (thanks Rhonda, you are clever)
For those of you that have been following along, you are already aware of my imaginary bus. Just to bring you new blogees up to speed here is a synopsis for you.
I have an imaginary bus in my mind. The bus is a really LARGE double decker bus that can hold a lot of people. My bus is headed for a very HIGH cliff and the bus has no brakes. The people that I load on the bus are seated in a strategic manner. Some of the possible seating:
A. Seated at the back of the bus next to the john. The bus is hot with no air conditioner
B. Seated at the very front of the bus so they will be the first over the cliff.
C. Seated in the middle of the bus near an exit door as they may get a chance to jump off.
D. There is a bus driver. He/She is the first over the cliff.
E. My bus has an upper deck. Totally unprotected, windows open and no seat belts.
E. There is a bus stop with people that may or may not be boarding soon.
****Just a note to the people out there that think this seems cruel. YOU DO GET THAT THIS IS AN IMAGINARY BUS !!!!! No harm, real or implied, to people or animals in the manufacturing (fabricating in my head) of this bus.
As you loyal blogees know.....Presently Snooki and The Situation are seated back opposite the bathroom.
That leaves 2 seats available in front of the john.
In front of Snooki and the Situation, we have Lindsay Lohan. She earned the seat for lack of common sense and no impulse control. She might be able to get off the bus prior to the cliff depending on what happens during her current court case.
Today we have a new passenger. CHARLIE SHEEN IS NOW BOARDING THE BUS !!! I was considering making him the bus driver but I think I have someone else in mind for that. I'll see...might have to rearrange at some point.
Charlie, however, for today, is taking the first seat on the upper deck front. First over the cliff with a birds eye view.
Mr. Sheen has earned this particular seat as an award for his on going shenanigans from the last week.
I was thinking about him last week when he chose to call in to a radio show to offer the sage advice to Lindsay that she should really work on her impulse control. Not really bad advice for Ms. Lohan but really....coming from Charlie.... Even with his brain swimming in booze and drugs, can he not see how absurd that is???
Then yesterday, he managed to embarrass himself even MORE. Who would of thought that was possible?
Seems self destruction has no limits as far as Charlie goes. What a freakin trainwreck !!! Does anyone out there really believe you could get on national radio and TV stations, call your boss "a stupid, stupid, little man", oh, and lets not forget "clown", and "worm", then expect you can go back to work on Monday.
Of course, he did go on to say that he has cured his additions with his mind. Is that the same mind that is currently swimming in a 190 proof brine? Did his tanked brain that does magic acts also cure his addiction to strippers and drugs?
Just asking??
You know, I actually enjoyed his current show, Two and a Half Men, as well as some of his older stuff but....here's the thing...I am conflicted with the huge amounts of money being paid to people to behave like asses. I could be way more sympathetic if he was some poor smuck out there trying to earn a living and got messed up with an addition. I know there is a lot of bad stuff that influences people to make really bad decisions. If you read the post Work: If it was Fun, it would be Called Vacation, a couple of weeks ago, you might know that I am all about second chances. (or third chances) but you have to want to participate in trying to do better.
It is evident that Charlie and his huge ego feel that he is above having to be a decent guy because he makes millions of dollars. Unfortunately, he seems to be right. He already had a new job offer with HBO.
How sad for us all, that the allure of celebrities allow us to turn a blind eye to people behaving not just BADLY but unconscionably.
So much for my rant for the day. I want us to be kind to each other and I want GOOD people to land on their feet. Is that too much to ask??
OK, My little blogees.....Who do you want to board the bus?? Send me either a comment or email me at artofconflicted@aol.com. Tell me who you want on the bus, where you want them to sit and why they earned that spot. It has to be someone we would all recognize. They have to currently be living. (really if we have ghosts on our bus we will run out of room). They can be in any line of work. (politicians, actors, writers, whatever your wicked minds can think of.)
***Please note**** seems to be some division on if Charlie Sheen should be boarding the bus.....feel free to weigh in on this.....Don't feel like Charlie is the right passenger???? How about Chuck Lorre????
The good for the day... That after my rant about misbehaving movie stars, I will let this be water under the bridge (at least for today)
The bad for the day.... Charlies has been in various scrapes as far back as 1990 when he shot Kelly Preston. He continues getting into trouble with drugs, alcohol and violent behavior right up till....who knows?? Maybe forever....
The WEIRD for the day....Celebrity + Bad Behavior = $$$$
Middle-aged (if I become a centenarian) living a middle-class life in the very middle of the country and continually struggling with the pros and cons of every topic. Seriously, conflicted.
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