Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Two Thoughts for Tues....

I have two thoughts regarding the "alleged" firing of Charlie Sheen from Two and a Half Men.

A.  The show has probably run its course, anyway, as Charlie's character has gotten ridiculous and looks like crap.

B.  The real loss in that senario is that I would have one less vanity card every week to giggle at.

Just to tide us all over are two of the Two and a Half Men vanity cards.

                CHUCK LORRE PRODUCTIONS, #281


Sideways Smiley Face
Sideways Smiley Face died on March 14, 2010, surrounded by his loved ones. The cause of death was over-use. Born on a Computer Science on-line bulletin board at Carnegie Mellon University, Mr. Face devoted his life to pointing out that the previous sentence was meant to be funny. He also gained worldwide recognition for his tireless efforts as a glib substitute for the words “I’m amused.” His other interests included frowning and winking. He is survived by his children, Sideways Surprised Face, Sideways Glasses Face, Sideways Abraham Lincoln Face, Sideways Santa Claus Face, Sideways Pope Face, and, of course, his beloved wife, XOXO. In lieu of flowers, Mr. Face’s family has requested that people use actual words to express their feelings.


Over the years, CBS executives have always been very generous when it comes to sharing their ideas as to how I might better do my job. I have never returned the favor regarding how they might run their network. Until now. Now I have a really good idea. Step One: Create an internal division with workers who do nothing but check out the claims of prospective advertisers. And I mean really check them out. If it's a car, have somebody drive it around to see if it accelerates into walls or slow-moving pedestrians for no particular reason. If it's beer, have someone drink it and report back if it gets them laid. If it's a pill, have someone take it for awhile, then wait to see if they grow a tail, get anal leakage, or commit suicide. Step Two: Quality control. All commercials must be aesthetically pleasing, seriously funny, poignant, or dramatic. Any commercials deemed loud, stupid and/or obnoxious are not aired. Period. No exceptions. Step Three: Tell the world that CBS only airs the coolest and most honest commercials. It's always Superbowl Sunday at CBS! Step Four: Watch the money roll in. A Final Thought: Don't worry about the initial loss of income created by dropping the dumb stuff (e.g. Cockney lizards who sell insurance). You'll more than make that money back by demanding that your high-quality advertisers cut you in for a piece of their action. You have, after all, earned it by giving them the CBS seal of approval. Another Final Thought: If you adopt my idea, my consulting fee is one million shares of CBS stock. Or better yet, one hundred shares of Apple stock.


AngelBaby said...

I am so tired of hearing about Charlie and Lindsy that I could scream! Do we have to know every step of their meltdown? I think we should let them have some privacy so they can get the help they need so much. We need to give them a break.

Here's your click .......

Love and Blessings,

PS you need to fix your link on BlogDumps, OK?

Wolfbernz said...

Sorry I have to disagree if you chose to be in the public eye then one should not make a fool of oneself publicly. Most of all they do this to gain popularity.
I really like your post and the way they should run CBS advertising that was fantastic!!!

Many clicks for this one :)

Trina said...

That was so great! I totally enjoyed your post! LOL

What a thought too, quality commercials - great idea!

Happy Tuesday! Welcome to BlogDumps :-)

Anonymous said...

Well, my position on celebrities is ... why should we be surprised when they act like Celebrities, as in the Brad Paisley song of the same name. Love the Chuck Lorre Productions trailers. Sideways smile is alive and well in my families emails,



Anonymous said...

I used to be able to overlook Charlie Sheen's bad side only because I enjoyed watching Two and A Half Men. The show was really funny...just like a lot of the other Chuck Lorre Productions. But Charlie's just lost it. I wouldn't want to have to deal with someone like him in real life.

:) Great post! Click! And thanks for stopping by my blog.