Failure is a Bitter Pill

After reading some of the odd news articles this week, it occurs to me that perhaps, some of these poor slobs that found themselves being apprehended must look back with regret.  Sure, it stinks getting caught in the commission of a crime, I suspect. (I don't have first hand knowledge but I am assuming that is the case.) But wouldn't it even be worse  if everyone that read the account of the crime,  thought "What a dumbass!"

So in our effort to help "criminal-want-to-be's" not to appear quite as stupid,  Crabby Pants is offering some remedial criminality classes. Here at TAOBC we are all about promoting the idea  "do things to the best of your ability."  Seriously...if you are going to do something, do it at least well enough that you don't cause people to spurt coffee out of their nose because they are laughing at you.  

 So....Just to clarify....  This class isn't about teaching people to break the laws...this is a class to teach people that are already criminals from further embarrassing themselves with the extremely stupid decisions that lead to having their mug shot appear in the likes of  The Smoking Gun or The Huffington Post.

Let's work together to insure that you are the laughing stock of your cell block. 

So to all you lowly law-breakers out there that  are up for a little self-improvement......Welcome to Remedial Criminality

 Jumping the Gun

After Jimmy Dewayne Whipple of Port Charlotte, Florida called deputies to report a stolen firearm on Tuesday, deputies learned he was a convicted felon and thus prohibited from possessing guns, the Charlotte County Sheriff's Office reported.
 
Arriving deputies also noticed some illegal stuff at Whipple's home, such as a smoking pipe,  a grinder, a container, and four small smoked ‘joints’ on a coffee table.  The grinder's contents tested positive for cannabis. according to the report.

Deputies also reportedly found a pill bottle that contained a drug for which Whipple did not have a prescription.

Whipple was charged with possession of firearms by a convicted felon, possession of drug paraphernalia, possession of marijuana, and possession of drugs without a prescription. 


Basic rule of thumb..... Don't invite cops over to your home if you have  illegal drugs sitting about. Your home may be your castle but it's not supposed to be your pharmacy. 

 Dis-tracked  Driver

A Louisiana man  got distracted while driving because he was shooting up heroin at the same time rammed into the back of a police car on Monday. Ronald Caplina was driving about 40 mph when he crashed into the lieutenant’s police vehicle.

The Slidell police officer sustained minor injuries from the accident which happened at about 4 PM, according to WAFB. The officer was monitoring traffic and was parked on the shoulder when he noticed a  car veer off the road and head straight toward his car.

The impact pushed the police officer's vehicle several feet, causing minor injuries to both the officer and Caplina, who was not wearing his seat belt.

Slidell Police tried asking Caplina why he was distracted, but he could not give them a clear answer.

Police discovered a fresh syringe, along with suspected heroin, inside the vehicle and Caplina had fresh  track marks on his arm.

Police believe Caplina was distracted because he was injecting heroin at the time of the crash.


While it's never a good idea to hit a cop car, it makes it significantly worse, if you are shooting up heroine.  

With Friends Like This....

After 25 beers — maybe more, police say — a Springfield, Missouri  man fired a handgun from a vehicle, trying to hit a snake slithering across the street.

Two shots hit the car’s roof, one struck a passenger’s head and a fourth shot actually made it across the street, court documents say. While , Erin Moad, the passenger, was not seriously injured, according to the documents, he had to of been disappointed that the story focused more on the snake than the fact some drunk shot him in the head.

Tyler C. Parker was charged Tuesday with second-degree assault as well as one count of “unlawful use of a loaded firearm by an intoxicated person.”

Deputies were alerted to the July 20 shooting when hospital staff reported a suspicious gunshot wound.  According to court documents, Parker admitted to shooting across the farm road at a snake while sitting on the door of the vehicle. He allegedly said he had drank 25 beers or more.

If convicted, he could face as much as 11 years in prison.

I did find it interesting there are a lot of articles about this and nearly all of them focus on the fact the guy was shooting a snake while hanging out the car's window.  The fact, he shot his friend in the head seems to be a sub-plot.  

Things the World May or May Not Need

I'm late getting to my "odd things in the news" blog this week.  I would gladly blame the current  heat wave stagnating over the Midwest that is withering my garden and burning off my brains cells, but more the more likely culprit is poor time management on my part.  So...lets talk about a few things that are being reported that may or may not be a positive addition to our planet....and we all know that we were sooooo very close to having it perfected.

What are you looking at?????

A Cat With More Hair

Yes, the Guiness people have added yet another record-breaking addition to their lists.  Colonel Meow, a two-year-old Himalayan-Persian kitty who hails from Los Angeles, was crowned cat with the longest fur.  (Quite a beauty. Looks really friendly, don't you think?)

The Colonel was measured by three independent veterinarians and the Colonel's fur -- taken on average from 10 hairs -- stretched an impressive 22.87 cm.

"We already knew that he was the best cat in the world, but to be recognized in the Guinness World Records book takes it to the next level," said the Colonel's person, Anne Marie Avey.

Avey says his colossal coat requires brushing twice or three times a week, and fur still gets all over everything in the house. (Bet that goes well.)

"His fur is so epic -- it takes two of us to properly brush him," Avey and co-owner Eric Rosario said in a statement. “Literally everything in the house has hair on it, including us!  I feel like I’m always vacuuming!"

 Nothing says welcome like cat hair.

Drive-In Sex Boxes

"What's that/" I hear you asking.  Basically they are little wooden structures where people can pull in to discreetly meet up with prostitutes. 

Doesn't this just scream romance?

This week the first of the sex houses opened to a very modest audience. There were, in fact, more press than prostitutes. That might explain why the first car that pulled in quickly looked around and made a hasty retreat.

The second car, a family vehicle driven by a man in sunglasses under cloudy evening skies, broke down and needed jump starting in front of a host of photographers, snickering into their cameras.

Zurich authorities had said they expected a modest start to the country's first so-called "sex boxes", a row of drive-in wooden garages on a looping track where clients in cars can visit prostitutes, shielded from prying eyes and security cameras.

With an estimated annual turnover of around 3.5 billion Swiss francs ($3.79 billion), prostitution has been legal in Switzerland since 1942, with sex workers in Zurich required to have a special permit, health insurance and pay tax.

The number of prostitutes in the Alpine nation has risen sharply over the last decade, due to the decriminalization of procuring and passive solicitation of sex alongside agreements between Switzerland and the European Union on free movement of people.

The sex boxes, which echo similar drive-in systems in the Netherlands and Germany, are being touted as a way to get large numbers of prostitutes and their clients off Switzerland's otherwise pristine streets.

Don't they have motels in Switzerland?  


A Twisted Robin Hood

The 36-year-old Bellingham, Wash. man was arrested on Tuesday morning after he allegedly fired an arrow -- wrapped with a package of marijuana -- at the second-floor recreation area of Whatcom County Jail. Police say he intended to gift the weed to inmates, but Jordan claims he was hunting squirrels, according to

The Bellingham Herald.

A civilian employee with the Whatcom County Sheriff's Office allegedly spotted Jordan getting out of his Ford pickup at about 8:40 a.m. on the south side of the jail. He witnessed Jordan firing the weed-laced arrow at a mesh screen near the top of the second floor, and called the sheriff's office.

He reportedly shot too high, and his arrow landed on the roof, the Associated Press reports. Sheriff Bill Elfo said that at the right angle, he may have succeeded.

Still, "He had no explanation as to why squirrel hunting requires attaching marijuana to an arrow," Elfo told the Herald.

The baggie on the arrow contained a few grams of weed and an unknown substance, the New York Daily News reports.

Officials obtained a search warrant and forced their way into Jordan's home after he wouldn't let them in. Earlier this month, he served a 20-day jail sentence for two counts of assault and one of resisting arrest. He was rebooked Tuesday evening on suspicion of introducing contraband to a corrections facility, resisting arrest and obstructing law enforcement.

His current cell is on the first floor, the Herald notes.

I wonder what they listed on his paperwork as his occupation?  Green grocer or delivery man???


 Loose Screws


North Charleston police on Wednesday caught a couple having sex in a shed at a Home Depot store, a report states.

Police charged Shaun Bowden, 31, of Saw Palm Drive in Ladson, with indecent exposure and disorderly conduct in connection with the incident, according to the report. The woman who was found with him, Emily

Craig, 20, of Spoleto Lane in North Charleston, is charged with disorderly conduct and providing false information, police said.

Officers were called to the Home Depot on Northwoods Boulevard about 8:30 a.m. after people at the store reported seeing a man and woman walk into a display shed, close the door behind them.

The couple was still inside the shed when officers arrived. (I am sensing there is about to be cop-tus interruptus)

The woman appeared disheveled and partially clothed, police said. Her dress was untied at the top and hanging around her waist, according to the report.

The shirtless man who was with her was caught with his pants down at his knees and his genitals exposed, police said.

Police questioned the couple and determined that they were having sex in the shed. (they had to ask questions? The exposed genitals kind of gave it away didn't it?)

Police said the name and birthday that Craig gave to officers didn’t match the identification found in her purse.

Bowden and Craig were arrested and held at the Charleston County jail pending a bond hearing, jail records show.

How would you like to have to explain to friends and family "WHY" you got arrested on that one?

Crazy Didn't Take a Holiday Break

I hope you understand that the "crazy" in today's title is NOT referring to ME but to the subjects in the odd stories I am talking about today.  Not entirely convinced are you??

Did you think I forgot to do my Friday roundup of ODD news?  No such luck.  I am in Chicago while Hubby is working today.  The people in charge of the weather here, didn't get my memo that I only wanted snow for Christmas morning.  I definitely didn't want to be driving around Chicago in the snow.  Have I ever mentioned that I think the drivers here are...oh maybe I better not go "there".  As this is the city of my birth, I have to be careful how I disparage anyone related to Chicago. 

As for some of the odd news this week, let's just start with a local story out of Oak Park. 

Every Party Has a Pooper


It seems that the party-pooper in this story is an FBI agent.

An Illinois man who admitted planning a bank robbery to fund his going-to-jail party for a drug conviction was sentenced to 19 months of prison time.

Mickey Loniello was already facing a lengthy sentence for drug offenses committed in 2007. To throw one last, fun bash prior to his trip to prison, he and two co-conspirators made plans to steal a getaway car and rob a Chase Bank branch in Oak Park, IL.  However, one of his co-conspirators was an undercover FBI agent wearing a wire. (seems you have to be careful about who you hang out with if you are planning a bank robbery.)

After receiving the 19 month sentence last Thursday, Mickey said he wasn't in his right frame of mind at the time he was planning the bank robbery because of his heroine addition.  The judge responded saying "that the fight against drugs is difficult but can be done."

Seems that being confined to a jail cell would make getting off of heroine somewhat easier.  BTW...he was sentenced on Thursday for crimes committed in 2007.  The wheels of justice move rather slowly, don't they?

Now You See Us...Now You Don't

Police in Sweden are looking for 69 missing cows that vanished from a farm the very day they were to be slaughtered. 

Farmer Claes Roempke of Stjamhov, said he is baffled by their disappearance. The cows are valued at $107,600.

The farmer was quoted as saying "I  have no idea where they have been taken. I hope they are alive and OK."  (Seriously....he is worried about their welfare???)

The police are investigating the missing cows. They have ID numbers on all the bovine and think that it isn't likely that the animals will be taken to a slaughterhouse.

I think we are dealing with really smart cows here that made a break-for-it. 

Things Not to Say to a Policeman

A woman who said she was delivering a Christmas tree to a friend was stopped after she was spotted by a deputy driving on the wrong side of the road. She was driving south on U.S. 1 in the northbound lanes....at 12:45 AM...with no headlights on.

It would appear that Debra McSween didn't want to be stopped. She told the officer that she had been drinking, doesn't drive well at night, wasn't familiar with the car, didn't know the area well, had taken a hydrocodone for her back, oh and that he could "eat sh**". 

She went on to threaten him and make some other less than-classy remarks.

Debra was arrested for DUI, crimes against persons, harming a public servant, resisting an officer, and obstruction. 

Bet her friend didn't get the Christmas tree delivered.


The Curse of Being Irresistible

Doesn't he look totally innocent???

The all male Supreme Court of Iowa ruled that Melissa Nelson's termination wasn't sexual discrimination because it wasn't based on gender.  Rather she was fired for  her boss and his wife feeling she was a threat to their marriage.  (for anyone wanting to place a bet, I bet that the firing was 99.99 percent the wife's idea, and  .01 percent the boss')

Ms Nelson worked as a dental assistant for James Knight for more than 10 years. She contends that she only wore scrubs (nothing sexy) and was not flirtatious. She didn't feel her termination was fair as she did nothing wrong.  She is happily married with children and was in no way attracted to her boss.

Dr. Knight's lawyer said that the doctor agonized over terminating her as she was the best assistant he ever had. 

During testinmony, Dr. Knight said having her there was like having a Lamborghini in the garage and never being able to drive it. 

I think Ms. Nelson got lucky to get out of working for this guy. OINK OINK

It's a Swing and a Miss..I Hope

I hesitate to start yelling "SAFE" as the day isn't over but as I have said in my previous post, I am pretty secure in my belief that we will still be here tomorrow.

So what oddities have happened this week?   Let's recap some of the more creative thinkers among us.


Foul Ball


The Chicago Sun-Times reports that   Christine A. Meyers picked up her boyfriend from a bar on Friday.  However, on the way to their home in Tinley Park, the two got into a heated argument.  This is where the story took an odd turn.  The boyfriend got out of the car and laid down in front of it. (Should we ask the question...was alcohol involved in this choice?)

As you might imagine, this wasn't a wise move on his part.  Christine put the car in drive and purposely ran over him.  The boyfriend suffered severe burns to his chest and back and had the skin torn off his testicles.

The boyfriend was taken to the hospital and Christine was taken to jail.  Her lawyer tried to have her released on a $6000 bond but the judge responded "ARE YOU SERIOUS?'

The judge set bail at $100,000 for aggravated domestic battery. 

OK..was it just me?  At anytime during that story, did any of you say  "That took balls?"


Three Strikes and You're Out

An unknown man attempted to carjack three separate cars in a Target parking lot in Oceanside, CA on Thursday.

According to the police a man approached a woman getting out of her car around 2:50 PM.  He showed her what she believed to be a knife ordering her back into her vehicle. She got back into her car and drove away.  (Strike One)

The the man immediately approached another woman that was exiting her car.  This time he brandished a handgun and told her to get back into her car.  The victim ignored the man and ran into the store to report the incident. (Strike Two)

Then the man approached a third car.  He attempted to steal the car at gunpoint. He asked the car's owner to remove the club device on the steering wheel and leave the keys in the car.  The victim did exactly what she was told. HOWEVER, when she walked away she activated a kill switch that killed the engine and locked him in the car.  (Strike Three)

Unfortunately, he smashed out the window and escaped the scene. He remains at large.

He is a better escape artist than he is a carjacker.


Stealing a Base and Heading Home

Two bank robbers who broke out of a high-rise jail in Chicago hailed a cab for their getaway car.  The two men escaped from the Metropolitan Correction Centre in downtown Chicago early on Tuesday morning.

The pair broke out a window in the cell they shared, squeezed through a 6 inch opening (great reason to remain slim)  and lowered themselves 20 stories.  (Seriously..??)  The escape was noticed the following morning when employees noticed approximately 200 ft. of knotted bedsheets hanging down the side of the building.

The two men, Joseph Jose Banks and Kenneth Conley are being sought by the FBI, U.S. Marshalls Service, and the Chicago Police Department.

Update: After an extensive manhunt in the communities of New Lennox and Tinley Park, Banks was captured.  An ongoing investigation is continuing to figure out how the two inmates got over 200 feet of sheets and dental floss used to make their rope. Conley remains at large.

Seems as if Tinley Park has had a busy week.  Bank Robbers and Mad Girlfriends.  It is curious about all the sheets.  Are extra clean sheets one of the perks of jail?

New Twist on an Old Joke

  Today, I am doing my two thoughts a bit differently.  I am breaking down an old standard Christmas song and infusing it with how someone might handle it today.  Be forewarned that my more modern version is that of a tech savvy girl that is at her wits end with an over zealous beau.

 So today...I have two thoughts.

Thought Number One: The original song " The 12 Days of Christmas".

Thought Number Two: How would the lyrics stand up to today's culture.

 A couple of quick notes:  For those of you that are a bit sensitive to "course" language....my apologies in advance.  I am making fun here of  how the poem could go bad in the age of texting...this is a joke after all.

Also, If you have trouble reading any of the  phones, click on them to enlarge them.



 On the first day of Christmas, my true love gave to me a partridge in a pear tree.

On the 2nd day of Christmas my true love gave to me, two Turtle Doves and a partridge in a pear tree.

On the 3rd day of Christmas my true love gave to me, 3 French Hens, two Turtle Doves, and a partridge in a pear tree.

Odd Twists

This week as I looked around my usual places to see what odd or unusual happenings have transpired in the last 7 days, I noticed a lot of "same old" crazy.  However, there are always a few little quirky details that set some stories apart.  So today I am offering up "Crazy with a twist."

Surprise, Surprise!

Jay Conolly, a 29 year old that was serving a jail sentence in the Maricopa County Sheriff's Office Jail, was taken pity on by a 69 year old female (her name is being withheld).  The woman had been doing volunteer work in the facility where Jay was incarcerated.

Surprise! A crook that's not honest???

The woman paid the bail for Connelly and agreed to let him stay at her home in a gated community in Surprise, AZ.  According to a report at Fox news, the woman said she thought the two would get married.

On Thursday, however, Connolly and a lady friend, Candy Dean, overpowered the woman, bound her, stole her cell phone, gun, purse and car.  Connolly and Dean were apprehended the next morning and charged with kidnapping, aggravated robbery, theft, and theft of means of transportation. 


It could be said that I am a cynic....and often is.  When I read the part about  a 69 year old bailing out a 29 year old and taking him home, I had my doubts.  I wasn't at all surprised that things didn't turn out quite like she expected.  What did surprise me, though...is that it happened in Surprise, AZ. 

Speaking of Jails

After 10 AM and  Kierran is still snoozing.

A man from the UK, Kierran Batchelor, was caught burglarizing homes last February. After being tried, he was sentenced to a suspended sentence and probation.  On his release from jail in April he posted to Facebook "IV JUST GOT OUT OF JAIL, IM F**KIN BUZZIN!!!"   Evidently his buzz didn't last very long as he didn't bother to check in with his probation officer.

According to Batchehlor, the 10 AM meetings weren't agreeing with his sleep patterns.  When he was brought back into court he asked the judge to put him in jail.so he could sleep in.

Batchelor was sentenced to 40 weeks in jail.  He thanked the judge on the way out.

Either Keirran has a Vitamin B shortage or he is very confused about the purpose of jails.


Would Your Life Make a Great Movie?

On "My Life Is a Lifetime Movie" viewers met Barbara Reifel.  Her husband is serving time for stealing body parts.  Yeh,....body parts.

I considered Lop N Chop...so many choices for a "parts" store.

After becoming addicted to pain killers, Michael Mastromarino,  started his entrepreneurial venture to sell body parts, bones  and tissue.  Not only did Micheal choose  rather unconventional products but some of his merchandise was diseased with Hepatitis, HIV and cancer.  Still he managed to make over  4 million dollars in 4 years. He was eventually  caught and sentenced to 58 years in prison.

According to one of the investigators in the case,  it was stated that he stole parts from more than 1000  bodies and neglected to get permission from any of them.  (I am serious...that is what the investigator was quoted as saying)


I don't know if I am more shocked at the fact that the 1000 or so bodies failed to give their permission or if a person can peddle 4 million dollars worth of body parts for 4 years and no one noticed something was amiss. I might be wrong, but I think  if Lifetime Movies reaches out to you, you might have a problem.



What a Clown

Ronald McDonald has admitted to following his ex- wife into a McDonalds.  A 50 year old man from Britain, that has the same name as the fast food icon,  had been served with a retraining order last September after assaulting his wife and another woman.

However, Ronald wasn't to be deterred by some restraint and decided to  follow her around. On one of his little stalk-abouts,  he followed her into the Westwood Cross McDonalds. He, also sent her a text. Both actions violated the restraining order.

Ronald received an 86 day sentence for failing to adhere to the order and is forbidden from contacting his wife for the next three years. (this, of course, remains to be seen as he seems to follow orders so well.)




Poor Ronald McDonald, now has the reputation for being a wife beater and probably isn't welcome at the local McDonalds.

Older, Wiser, Weirder

We all have heard the adage "wisdom comes with age", haven't we?  How about the more subtle quote of Robert Frost, “The afternoon knows what the morning never suspected.” ?

There are actually a number of  quotes that support the idea that we gain wisdom as we grow older.

When I can look Life in the eyes,
Grown calm and very coldly wise,
Life will have given me the Truth,
And taken in exchange - my youth.
~Sara Teasdale

So...If I have gotten the gist of all these quotes, when my youth and vitality are shot to hell,  I can cling to the one positive thing that is keeping me afloat and that is that I will be wiser than I was when I was young and had a rockin' body.  HMMMM...I am not sure that is an even trade off.

So in my effort to be coldly wise, I have learned a few new things. I don't suppose there are any adages concerning "great wisdom comes from surfing the net".

One of the things I learned today.

Whales and Waste

I was reading  an article about a boy in England that could be considerably richer thanks to finding a solidified piece of whale vomit he found lying on the beach. While the chunk looks like a yellow-brownish rock, it is, in fact, a valuable piece of ambergris. Ambergris is an expensive ingredient spewed out by whales that is used in perfumes.

Charlie Naysmith found the loaf-sized rock at Hengistbury Head off the the coast of England and after researching his find, his family realized that it could be worth as much as $63,000.

Ambergris is a waxy, bile-like substance that builds up in the intestines of sperm whales, apparently to ease the passage of hard material such as squid beaks through a whale's digestive tract. It's often characterized as whale vomit, and although that's fine as a family-friendly description, the stuff is more widely thought to come out of the whale's back end rather than its front end.
 

The scent of ambergris is what makes it so valuable. The substance has been used as an incense, fragrance, flavoring, remedy or aphrodisiac in many cultures, going back to ancient Egypt and China. Herman Melville devoted a whole chapter of "Moby Dick"  to a discussion of ambergris and how highly prized it was in 19th-century society. "Who would think, then, that such fine ladies and gentlemen should regale themselves with an essence found in the inglorious bowels of a sick whale!" Melville wrote.

Fresh ambergris smells like fresh whale poop, but after seasoning and hardening in the ocean it takes on a more delicate odor.  It is sometimes compared to the smell of tobacco or old churches. According to Christopher Kemp, a biologist who has written a book about ambergris called Floating Gold, says "the problem with describing the smell of ambergris is that it really only smells like ambergris."

Well, before you go out and try to find a whale that has left some rather valuable poop on the beach, it is illegal in some parts of the world to sell it due to endangered whale laws.  Charlie is a lucky boy as there are no restrictions in England.

Speaking of Poo

Fort Collins, CO- The maker of Fat Tire beer says it's using a reserve water supply because the water in northern Colorado's Poudre (pronounced POO-der) River has become tainted by the wildfires that have destroyed hundreds of acres in June.

New Belgium Brewery objected when it was told it would soon have to go back to using water from the river.  The company says if that happens, it would kill the flavor of the beer and make it undrinkable.





 So if they go back to getting water from Poudre pronounced  Poo-der River, the beer is going to taste like Sh**.  How appropriate.

 

Winners and Losers

 Atlantic City casino is suing 14 gamblers who raked in more than $1.5 million in winnings after realizing that eight decks of cards had not been preshuffled and kept producing the same sequence of cards, over and over.

The gamblers kept raising their bets -- from $10 a hand to $5,000 -- and scored 41 consecutive winning hands of baccarat in April, the Associated Press reports.

As the payouts mounted, Golden Nugget Atlantic City flooded the area with security teams, convinced that someone was cheating, but were unable to figure out how.

In the end, the casino let nine of the gamblers cash out $558,900. The rest still have $977,800 in chips.

In its lawsuit, the casino cites state gambling regulations requiring all casino games to offer fair odds — to both sides. (really?  Would the casino be griping if the odds had been in their favor?  Seriously??)

The casino's lawsuit argues that the gamblers and the casino both began the game believing it was legal and proper — until the players kept winning repeatedly.

Benjamin Dash, a lawyer for the gamblers, counters that his clients did nothing wrong and deserve to be paid.

"The Golden Nugget appealed to gamblers to come in and play games licensed and sanctioned by the state of New Jersey," he says. "My clients did exactly that, and then were denied their winnings. There is absolutely no law in New Jersey that would permit the Golden Nugget to declare the game illegal because it failed to provide shuffled cards."

The casino also asserts in its lawsuit that Gemaco Inc., a Missouri playing card manufacturer, acknowledged it had provided a defective shipment of cards that were not preshuffled.

Are you wondering what I learned that would make me "coldly wise" from this story? I learned if I ever start winning big at a New Jersey casino, something is wrong...red flags go up...can't happen without a  mistake being made. 

One last story...

There is a Difference Between
Being Wise and Being Crafty

 New Mexico corrections officers say an inmate escaped his jail cell by breaking a window bar with a razor blade and a Popsicle stick but changed his mind once he got outside.

Carlos Garcia told police it took about five months to break the bar on his cell window at the Lea County jail with those materials. He also used plastic, newspaper and more Popsicle sticks to fashion a fake window.

The Hobbs News-Sun reports that Garcia changed his mind and climbed back into his second-story cell using a bed sheet.

"He said that sometimes he does crazy things, and he kind of acted like he didn't know what he had done," Stone said. "But then he admitted to doing it."

Garcia has been moved to a maximum-security ward at the state penitentiary. He is serving time for two murder convictions and other crimes.

Even if I make it to 100...I am not sure that I can make a window out of Popsicle sticks, newspaper, and plastic...at least not good enough to fool corrections officers. When he said he sometimes does crazy stuff, was he referring to the murders, the jail break, or the climbing back in the window after the escape?